by L. P. Dover
Prison. I pushed the book into my pack and finally slept.
When I woke, I felt better. Stronger. I was hopeful this applied to my magic as well. Chevelle sat quietly against the dark stone wall, watching me. He seemed to recognize the change in my mood.
“Feeling better?”
I nodded. “I think I’d like to train again.”
“That is probably a good idea. We’ll be leaving soon.”
I didn’t know if I was that much better.
“Don’t worry. It is safe. They will not attack again so soon.”
“When?” I could hear the worry in my tone, despite his assurance.
“We will protect you, Frey.”
Sure. I may have rolled my eyes.
“We knew they were following before. Our mistake was in assuming they meant physical attack. We will not allow them so close again.”
“So they’re still following?” Panic.
“No. Not now.” He paused. “They have accomplished what they came for. Now they will regroup and return. Which is why we need to move.”
“Why would we leave a fort?”
He laughed. “Trust me, Frey.” I must not have appeared convinced, and he added, “Please.”
I sighed. What choice did I have? And then I laughed. I couldn’t even trust myself.
I expected him to look at me like I was nuts. Instead, he looked like it was … endearing. He stood and walked over to me, taking my hand in his to help me up. When he touched me, I tried to fight the flush that ran up my neck. When I couldn’t, it embarrassed me and caused my cheeks to color as well. I peered up at him through my now dark bangs and could have sworn it amused him. I laughed at myself; the silly romance I’d been reading in the diary must have been affecting me.
I tried to stop my thoughts from returning there as we practiced, but it was near impossible. He kept working close with me, touching me. I knew I should have been focusing on the magic, but it was useless. Each day ended with nothing but frustration and exhaustion, naught to look forward to but leaving the safety of the fort. But the book provided escape …
The moment I entered the castle, I knew something was wrong. I had gone in through the servants’ quarters, desiring to keep a low profile. When they saw me, they did not have the standard reaction (pretending not to). Instead, fear crossed their faces and they disappeared from sight. As I made my way through the corridors, I found them turning away from me, ditching into doorways. My heart sped. I wondered if something had gone wrong with Rune’s spell this time. I decided to go check on him. I realized I was running.
As I rounded a corner heading to the practice rooms, I ran into something hard. The impact didn’t knock me down, but the shock almost did. It was one of Father’s guards … one of the guards he’d taken with him.
He had me by the arm, dragging me along before I could think. I couldn’t decide whether to run, whether to fight. And then we were in the throne room. My father’s face was indescribable, his fury almost tangible. I couldn’t bring myself to look away from him, but I saw Rune standing in my peripheral. I was caught, completely busted. I frantically searched for some explanation before he spoke. But he didn’t speak. He flipped his arm, dismissing me. The tension showed in that small movement and I blanched. I started to pull away from the guard, but he didn’t release me. I realized then I hadn’t been dismissed … it had been a direction for the guard. He wrenched me beside him, jerking unnecessarily, and shoved me through the door to my room. I listened, but his steps did not recede. I tried the door; it was already bound.
I threw myself on the bed. I felt absolutely wretched. Actually, I felt worse than that, I felt as if I’d been poisoned. The room spun and I heaved over the edge of the mattress.
When I woke late the next morning, I was covered in sweat. My head spun as I stood, but I steadied myself and moved to the basin to splash my face. As I looked in the mirror at my pallid complexion, my features twisted in horror.
Understanding came suddenly and would not be denied. I scoffed at myself humorlessly as my words taunted me … just harmless fun ... what could it hurt? For half a second, I wanted to scream. And then my hands found their way to my stomach and rested there.
I felt a sharp intake of breath. I hadn’t noticed I had gotten so deeply involved in the story.
I was unnaturally calm when they finally came for me. I knew they would know right away, recognize the obvious signs. But it didn’t matter now. I walked forward, resigned to my fate.
What I didn’t expect was their response. The throne room was full. And not one of them did not gasp when comprehension hit. But my father, and each of those present, seemed … pleased when they saw me. I had been resigned to my fate … but now, now they were pleased. They had no idea there was a … a human, growing in the belly my hands now cradled. I listened as their voices began, and then rose, clamorously discussing the news and what it could bring. I cringed as their words turned to the possibilities, the power I might pass down, the strength the new one might bring.
“We will leave at daybreak,” I heard Grey inform Ruby as I read. Perfect. The news brought on a new round of worry, so I went back to the book.
Eventually, my father did seek to find out who the father was. I refused to tell him anything and he could not force me in my condition. I could see his plans for it already forming. I was almost happy it would not be powerful, half human and unmagical. I wondered if it could even be brought to term, I was ill so often now. The elders discussed it constantly, so unusual to be sick, but it must have been a result of the pregnancy. Several of them were assigned to watch me and I had to listen to their incessant chatter. They seemed thrilled not to know how or when I had gotten this way, carrying on about young elves and their quests.
Ruby’s hand was on my shoulder, shaking me to wake. I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. I jerked up, hoping she hadn’t seen the journal. It wasn’t lying there. I grabbed my pack, pretending to get ready, and sighed when I felt it tucked inside. I didn’t remember doing it, but I was grateful I had … I was really getting into the story.
Yawning, I stretched and followed her out of the room. I was surprised at the size of the fort. We went down several corridors and passed a few doors before finally coming to a large, open area where the others waited for us. Chevelle smiled at me as I passed him on the way to my horse. I started to command it to kneel, but Steed grabbed me at the waist and threw me up. I took one deep breath before we kicked up the horses and ran from the fort in a pack.
Our pace finally slowed as the way became too treacherous. Massive rock formations loomed over us, loose stones underfoot causing the horses to occasionally stumble or misstep. The haze was so thick I couldn’t see where we were headed, I only knew it was up. The wind was biting, so I pulled my cloak around my shoulders.
Chevelle rode beside me through the day. When we stopped for the evening, he pulled me down from my horse and stayed beside me as we sat on large stones around a fire. Ruby was telling stories again and everyone gave her their full attention … everyone but us.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Fine, I guess.” He seemed unusually concerned. He was also sitting unusually close.
He spoke in a low voice, though the others weren’t listening. I had to strain to hear. “I’ve been thinking about the bindings.” I turned to face him, his deep blue eyes on mine as he continued, “I was thinking there might be another way.”
He was hesitant for some reason. “How?” I demanded, keeping the volume as low as I could as I pressed my palms against the cool rock beneath us. What was he waiting on?
“If … well, it seems you may have more control over your thoughts than you realize?” He phrased it as a question. Yes, my secret. Was he trying to be respectful of it … or trying to keep me from getting upset … my delicate brain …
I wasn’t sure how to answer. But if it helped, if there was a way to unbind me, free my bonds and get the magic back �
��
I settled on a, “M-hm?”
He nearly smiled. “Well, if you were able to … move about …” It seemed to make him uncomfortable, searching for the words. “… then perhaps you could find a way around it.”
I was biting my lip and he reached up, gently pulling it loose. His hand lingered on my face, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. I was definitely not imagining that. Heat flooded my neck, my cheeks, and his gaze followed the flush.
His hand dropped to my shoulder. “Please, Freya, try.”
All I could do was nod.
And then he stood and walked away. I sat unmoving for a moment, and finally glanced at the group. They were deeply involved in their conversations, apparently unaware of what seemed like a major occurrence to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to “move about” in my mind. It was completely frustrating. Fuzzy, wrong. It didn’t take long before I had a painful, buzzing headache.
I sighed and threw myself on my blankets away from the group. It was still daylight and I tossed and turned, unable to rest. And so I returned to my favorite distraction.
The time came sooner than any of us expected. Looking back, I suppose it was fortunate. I can’t imagine what might have happened if a full birth ceremony had been prepared; if so many had been present. It makes me cringe to merely think of it.
The elders were there, though. My father and the others waited in the throne room, arranging a celebration. I had read everything I could obtain on the process during my pregnancy and imprisonment in the castle, even finding a few books and scrolls on humans. But nothing prepared me for what happened. I had been walking when the pain struck, pacing my room with worry if I were truthful. It hit suddenly; a stabbing, ripping, horrible thing. My screams called everyone to order, but then it subsided. However, it was only long enough to catch my breath before it was back, tenfold. I writhed in agony, nothing they did would help. I could not control my magic; it shattered most of the things on the nearby table and twice caught the bedding afire. The elders were frantic, which only frightened me more. I had never seen them agitated much. This carried on for hours; my hair and clothing was drenched in sweat and I was near surrender. And then, with no more warning than when the first pains came, it was over. A small, sweet child was in my arms.
I drew in ragged breaths as I cleaned her face. I wiped her eyes and they came open, an unbelievable shade of dark green, sparkling like emeralds. She was a beauty. I wasn't aware the room had grown silent until I wiped her ears and heard my own gasp. They were slightly rounded at the tip … almost … blunt.
I realized I had stopped breathing as I read, so engrossed in the story. I reached up absentmindedly and stroked the top of my ears.
I looked up then, at the elders who surrounded me. Their faces were astonished. “She is … human,” they said in foreboding, tandem voices.
I took a steadying breath and spat out in a harsh voice, “No.” They stared at me, incredulous. I spoke deliberately, “She is elf. I name her … Elfreda.”
My heart … had stopped. And then it surged as blood rushed to my face, my neck … my ears rang. I must have been speaking or cursing … something. I could hear the sound, but could not make sense of it. Nothing made sense. I was standing before I knew I was surrounded. Fury and fire were swimming in my head, my chest, my hands.
I heard them through the buzz, “Frey, what’s wrong ... what is it ... Frey … Frey.” And then, clearer, “Elfreda!” My jaws tightened, my teeth ground together.
Comprehension crossed Chevelle’s face as he saw the book on the ground between us. He reached for it.
“Touch that book and you die,” I hissed.
He stopped and stared me straight in the eyes. I was fighting for control, struggling to find my thoughts, to force myself to think.
Then I saw it. He flicked a glance at Ruby and I knew. They knew. And it was all true.
Suddenly, I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Please, Freya, stay calm,” Ruby pleaded. They were all circling me, their arms outstretched as if to catch me … or cage me.
Black spots were floating in my vision. My head screamed. The sound of metal bands snapping echoed through a scraping, screeching, horrible noise inside my head. I reached up and pressed the base of my palms against my temples. I didn’t know I was going down until my knees hit the hard rock. I held myself there, refusing to give in.
I heard them arguing frantically. “Knock her out … do something … she’s going to crack.”
Yes, crack. That was a good word for it. I felt as if I were breaking in half. No, being torn. I sensed someone close to me, Ruby no doubt. She would drug me again. I didn’t want that. I slid from the pain, reaching out. I found nothing but the horses, but I would take it. I left my body completely.
My entry was so furious it startled the horse. I held him there, but when he raised his head from grazing, he was facing them. They were standing, kneeling, surrounding my limp body. I watched them, the horror on their faces, for an immeasurable moment. It was too much. It was all too much.
A raw, unbearable ache crushed my chest, and I gave in to it, accepted it. There was nothing else I could do. I sighed, melting back into my own mind. It was quiet there and I wondered if they had been right, if I had cracked. But then it occurred to me that maybe I had been the cause of it. I was resigned now, the fury gone, and so was the screeching, the pain. They had said the binding was dangerous …
There was a collective gasp as they realized I was back. I heard someone beside me and a flash of anger swept through me, lighting a flame at whoever it was. So, maybe the fury wasn’t completely gone. I suddenly remembered the pages I had burnt in the briar patch, so long ago. Burnt before I’d read them. My eyes flashed open and I sat up, ignoring the spin in my head, but the book was already gone. I glared at Chevelle. It must have been a dreadful look, because he nodded and backed away, his mouth tight.
“Oh, Frey.” Ruby’s voice was low and soothing.
I grimaced as I turned to her. “Go ahead,” I said, closing my eyes as her jaw shifted.
Chapter Sixteen
Lessons
The dreams I had then were the most dreadful, garish, repelling I’d ever had. I jolted awake and shuddered for several minutes at the images I could not beat down.
Ruby was there, waiting for me.
“Where are the others?” I asked, voice hoarse.
“They’ve set up a perimeter.”
It was all I had to say for the moment. I felt empty, alone. It was dark; even with the dust I’d not slept through the night. I sat up, curling my legs against my chest, and wrapped my arms around them, pulling tightly.
Though I didn’t speak, I occasionally glanced, or glared, at Ruby. She sat, immobile, watching me faithfully.
It was morning before she broke. “You have your fire back,” she offered.
It hadn’t occurred to me. Holding out a hand, I flicked a flame above my palm, then promptly extinguished it. I tried moving a stone from the ground to no avail. Just fire. I sighed.
But Ruby looked hopeful.
The group approached warily, keeping their eyes on me. Chevelle hung farther back, avoiding my gaze as he hovered near the edge of the mist. Steed led my horse to me. I didn’t think I blamed him, he seemed to be involved by chance, but I hadn’t fully decided yet.
As we rode wordlessly through the cold stone landscape, my thoughts twisted and writhed as if a pit of vipers. In the end, I’d decided I wasn’t really that shocked about being a defect. It explained so much about myself, almost an excuse. Clumsiness, lack of skill, never quite fitting in. Wasn’t I always aware of that? What took me by surprise was the betrayal I felt. All the years I’d lived in the village, I’d never really counted on anyone the way I had unwittingly done with this group, Chevelle especially. The feeling in my chest was so thick and heavy. And it practically burned.
Struggling with my reactions kept me distracted from the ride. It was steep now, ro
cky, a heavy haze hanging in the few spiky trees. When we stopped for the evening, the men quietly set up a perimeter. Except for Chevelle. He was watching me as I glared back at him. The betrayal stung, it was almost irrational how bad. Why had I expected more from him? He was my watcher. He’d volunteered to help council bind me. But it didn’t stop the hostile stare I was sending his way.
Ruby stepped in front of him. “I’ll stay with her.”
He didn’t reply; he merely turned from her to walk into the haze.
I was still fuming when she faced me, wearing a self-satisfied smile. She practically danced forward to plop down in front of me. “I have something for you, Frey.” I simply stared at her. She was harder to stay mad at. I expected her to be a pain, it wasn’t as difficult to accept she’d kept it from me.
She extracted a small package from beneath her cloak and passed it to me. I pulled the material aside and saw the V etched into the cover. I wondered what Chevelle would do if he knew she’d given it to me.
She answered my curious gaze. “It’s yours, and I think you should be able to read it.”
I could do nothing but nod. It didn’t matter, her expression made it clear she considered herself forgiven. She turned, facing the direction Chevelle had gone, and left me to my discoveries.
I expected fury from my father. He never failed to disappoint me. He saw the child, as he called her, as an opportunity. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, had he not stolen my mother for precisely the same purpose, experimenting with power? He did, however, concern himself with where I’d found a human. I refused to tell. It was the only gift I could give Noble, his safety. I laughed as I remembered that was how I’d convinced him to stay, promising him protection. A false promise. Eventually, one of the servants slipped, revealing they had seen me following my sister. And just like that, she was to blame for the entire ordeal, even though she’d never known. She’d been still searching the empty camp. At least I was off the hook.