by J. L. Jarvis
Marco listened, hoping he looked like he understood. The truth was that Jack had lost him. It almost seemed as though he was implying that Lydia needed protection from Marco. That really grated on him, since he’d been the one who was there for Lydia before she ever knew she had a father, so Jack could sit on his sanctimonious attitude.
Jack went on, “It’s important to me to make up for the damage I’ve done by neglecting her all these years. She needed a father, and I failed her.”
No one’s arguing that point. For Lydia’s sake, Marco was civil. “I know it’s meant a lot to her to reconnect with you. For what it’s worth, she’s overcome any difficulties she might have had in the past. Your daughter is pretty amazing.”
“I’m glad to hear that you’ve noticed.”
That had a decidedly negative tone, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint Jack’s angle. “Of course I’ve noticed. We’re friends—more than friends. I care a lot about Lydia.”
In the silence that followed, which drew out until it became awkward, Marco could almost hear him thinking.
No longer able to endure the tension, Marco asked, “Is something the matter? What are you trying to tell me? Is Lydia sick? Is there something that she hasn’t told me?” The more he tried to guess what it might be, the more worried he got. People sometimes withheld vital information, often about health, in the false hope of sparing others. Lydia might have forbidden Jack from telling Marco, and Jack was trying to tell him without betraying his daughter’s trust. “Look, if Lydia’s sick, you have to tell me! I don’t care if she told you not to say anything! I need to know!” He started untying his apron as he called Mel over. “Something’s happened to Lydia. I need you to cover the bar.”
Puzzled, Mel said, “Okay.”
Marco turned back to Jack. “Tell me everything. Where is she? What can I do?”
Jack’s eyes shone with pleasure. “Lydia isn’t sick.”
“Thank god!”
“Unless you count love. She’s in love, and the person she’s in love with is breaking her heart.”
“I’ll kill him.”
Apparently amused, Jack said, “Well, you could, but that would just make things worse.”
“I don’t care. Give me Bryce’s address, and I’ll take care of him.” Marco paused and took a breath. “I didn’t mean that I’ll literally kill him. It’s just an expression—not that the thought doesn’t have its appeal.” What Marco hadn’t ruled out was a punch in the face—maybe two. That was entirely doable.
“Bryce?” Jack laughed. “Bryce has nothing to do with this. You are so much like I was that it’s scary, because you’re a damn fool. No, genius, it’s not Bryce she’s in love with. It’s you.” Jack shook his head, threw a twenty on the bar, and walked out.
Snow flew at the windshield as Lydia drove to the train station. This is a huge turning point for me. By making the adult decision to build the life she wanted to lead, she was free of Marco and the baggage of the past. At the center of that life was Bryce. Of course, they hadn’t made any sort of long-term commitment, but meeting the family was a pretty big step. Who knows what the next year could bring?
She imagined what life with Bryce could be. His career path was set. He would go into the family business, and she would fall into step with the rest of the family. Lydia imagined that, like Bryce, they were pleasant, cultured, and well-dressed, if not well-read. Bryce wasn’t exactly a reader, but Lydia read enough for both of them. She envisioned their evenings together, Lydia in a comfy chair in the corner, reading a book while Bryce watched TV. He had his favorite sports teams and sitcoms, which he often spoke of. Though she thought they were funny, she found other things more entertaining.
Sitting at the bar, watching Marco at work was always entertaining. The way he juggled drink mixing and joking with customers up and down the full length of the bar was like a ballet. What none of them saw was the real Marco, which she was privileged to know. Yet she had accused him of being shallow—and a commitment-phobe. The thought made her wince. She’d only said it because it would hurt him, but pride kept her from retracting her words. Lydia had seen glimpses of depth in Marco that almost overwhelmed her. He felt things deeply, he was kind and dependable, and he’d always been there for her. Not having met the right woman didn’t make him a commitment-phobe any more than her not having found the right man did. Marco would meet the right woman just as she had found Bryce—not that Bryce was perfect, but he was a good man.
With all the confusion between Marco and her resolved, the pathway was clear for him. Then everyone would be happy.
But Lydia’s memory was a problem. She couldn’t seem to forget him, as hard as she tried. And the more she tried to force Bryce onto the pedestal vacated by Marco, the worse Bryce appeared in comparison.
The snow flew so fast and thickly that the road was one with the land around it. The only things keeping Lydia out of a ditch were the reflectors by the side of the road. She turned on the radio to catch the weather forecast, as if she needed someone to tell her it was snowing. Bryce has been right to insist on a train. His practicality was one of his best qualities. Lydia could never have driven to Bryce’s house in the storm. She exhaled with relief to see the sign marking the train station entrance. At last, she had arrived. Everything would be fine.
Almost on cue, her phone dinged. Of course Bryce would have calculated the time she needed to get to the train station and texted accordingly.
Bryce: Are you there yet?
Lydia: Yes, I’m parked and about to walk to the platform.
Bryce: Good! See you soon.
Bryce did everything right, which was a significant difference between him and Marco. Bryce made arrangements and followed them to a T, although Marco would have driven her to the station. Marco’s presence was more assuring. If anything happened, he would be there. Bryce merely arranged things on paper. No, that’s not fair. Bryce was home with his family. He was going to pick her up from the train station. Nothing was wrong with Bryce or his plans. The problem was that everything was right about Marco.
Lydia sat in the car, wondering if a relationship with Bryce was what she truly wanted. A holiday party was just one step in their burgeoning relationship, yet it felt like one step off a cliff. She couldn’t turn back.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Get out of the car and walk up to that platform.” Talking to herself didn’t speak well for her state of mind, but she laughed and got out of the car, lifted her bag, and walked resolutely to the train platform.
The train pulled into the station. The doors opened, and she stepped into the car. When she found an aisle seat, she hefted her overnight bag onto the rack above her head and sat. There, that wasn’t so hard.
Anxiety niggled at her, saying, There’s no turning back.
She tried to ignore it. She experienced the same sort of anxiety at the beginning of each semester. By the end of the first day, she was fine.
No, it’s not the same! She got up, grabbed her bag, and stepped out of the train car just as the doors closed behind her. As she headed back to her car, she tried with all her might not to think. Lydia just had a gut feeling. She couldn’t rationalize her way around it. She’d done what she had to do, although she couldn’t have explained it to anyone.
Her car was still warm inside, and she started the engine. Do it now and get it over with.
“Bryce, it’s Lydia.”
“Hi! You must be on the train.”
“No.”
But I thought you were there in the—”
“Bryce, I’m so sorry. I’m not coming.”
“But I just called to check. The trains are running just fine.”
“I know. It’s not the trains. I can’t come.”
His voice had an edge. “But I told everyone you were coming.”
“I know. Bryce, I think you’re amazing.”
“You’re breaking up with me.” He sounded stunned.
“I’m sorry. I really tried.”
“Does it take that much work?”
“I’m sorry. It shouldn’t. It’s no reflection on you. I’m just not—”
The call ended. He didn’t just hang up on me. It had to be the storm.
She couldn’t just leave it like that, so she called him again. “Bryce?”
No, he hung up again. So that was it. It was over.
Lydia took in a deep breath and exhaled, feeling as though she’d just escaped making the worst mistake of her life. She’d nearly yoked herself to someone with whom she had nothing common. In fact, all that had ever held them together were his feelings for her and her appreciation of his attention. But she didn’t return his feelings, and she never would.
Not only would Lydia survive on her own, but she would thrive. She might never have Marco’s love, but she would live her life—not Bryce’s or anyone else’s. If Bryce turned out to be her last chance at a long-term relationship, she would have no regrets. That realization felt like a weight had been lifted. Hey, Atlas. Could you hold this for me? I’ve got someplace to go.
In the half hour she’d been at the station, the snow had turned to sleet and ice. The slick road put her small all-wheel-drive vehicle through its paces. In the midst of the snowy haze thatching in the air, a deer leaped across the road before her. Lydia touched her brakes and started to fishtail but regained control of the car. Out of nowhere, another deer leaped in front of her car, and she managed to miss it, but the sudden maneuver sent her car into a spin. Terrified, Lydia gripped the wheel and tried to right herself. Despite the vibration of the antilock brakes, the car careened off the road and down an embankment.
Fifteen
For the second time that evening, Marco asked Mel to cover for him. “Yeah, sure—if you mean it this time.”
“Oh, I mean it.” To Theo, he said, “I’ve got to find Lydia.”
“Find her? She’s lost?”
“I’ll explain later. I’ve got to go.”
“Marco, be careful!”
On his way out the door, Marco said, “I will.”
Every bar patron who’d stopped by that evening had talked about the bad weather, though most of them had already gone home. As Marco pulled onto the road, it was even worse than he’d expected. The plows hadn’t been through, so it would take him forever to get to the station. The clock on the dashboard told him he had, at the most, five or six minutes to spare, which made his chances of getting there before the train left unlikely. But he was determined. Most sane drivers were already home, so he had the road practically to himself. He was glad his SUV had enough clearance to forge through the rapid accumulation of snow, but he worried about Lydia in her subcompact car. He worried so much that he kept an eye out on the side of the road in case she’d pulled over or gotten stuck.
With no sightings of Lydia’s car, Marco was relieved to arrive at the train station entrance. The train was there waiting, so rather than waste time parking, Marco pulled up to the drop-off point and got out. As he ran up the stairs, he called Lydia’s name, but the train pulled away before he reached the platform.
He had missed her. Fool that he was—Jack had pegged him correctly—Marco looked behind every pillar, as though she might appear. When that failed, he went back to his car and drove past every car in the parking lot. What he hoped to do once he found her parked car was unclear even to him. Perhaps seeing her car would reinforce the hopelessness of his situation.
He drove around the lot twice before he was convinced. Lydia’s car was not there.
Marco pulled out his phone. “Eve? Hi, it’s Marco.”
“Hi, Marco. How are—”
“Where’s Lydia?”
“I thought you knew. She’s going to Bryce’s. She left for the train station a while ago. The train will have left by now.”
“I know.” He hesitated to confess. “I’m here at the train station.”
“Oh.” So much was packed into that single word. It sounded surprised, intrigued, and ultimately sorry for Marco. He could think of no reason to be there that didn’t sound pathetic. But Eve was kind enough not to inquire.
“Eve, her car isn’t here. I thought maybe she changed her mind and decided not to brave the weather.”
“Not that I know of.” Eve’s voice sounded increasingly tense. “If she’d changed her mind, she would have called me. We always call each other—especially in weather like this.” Eve’s voice became muffled. “It’s Marco. Lydia’s missing.”
In the background, Dylan said, “Tell him we’re leaving right now.”
Marco looked out at the whiteout conditions. “Eve, no. The roads are bad. Visibility is close to zero. I’m already out here. I’ll look for her.”
“Dylan’s here with his truck. We’re on our way out the door.”
It wasn’t Marco’s place to object. Besides, another two sets of eyes couldn’t hurt. “Okay. Keep your phone handy.”
“You too.”
He pulled out of the train station. She must never have made it to the train station, so he kept his eyes peeled on that side of the road. Barely able to see in the blizzard conditions, he crept along slowly, desperate to find her yet afraid for what he might see when he did.
It was bad enough to lose her to Bryce, but death was unthinkable. Lydia was such a good person. She deserved a full life, even if it had to be with Bryce. With a bitter laugh, he realized that, as usual, Lydia was right. Marco couldn’t sustain a relationship, not even with the woman he’d finally realized he loved. It must be some sort of poetic justice—the ladies’ man finally fell in love then got dumped. Although you couldn’t really be dumped if you had never been together in the first place. So he couldn’t even inspire a good poem.
Nearly halfway home, he spotted the faint snow-covered remnants of tire tracks where a car appeared to have skidded off the road.
He pulled over and called Eve. “I found some tracks skidding off the road on the side going from the station toward town. They’re on the wrong side to be Lydia’s, but I’ve got to make a quick stop to see if someone needs help.”
Marco backed up to the point where the tracks left the road. The fading dusk and the blowing snow made it almost impossible to see anything. He stood outside of his car and looked down at a roadside embankment. Mounded snow almost concealed the shape of a small car, but a tiny red light blinked above it and drew his attention. He half climbed, half skidded down to the car, where he discovered that the small red light came from a necktie fastened to the antenna. Adrenaline surged in his chest as he climbed through the deep snow to the driver’s-side door. He pounded on the window. “Lydia!”
“Marco!” she called through the fogged-up window.
He struggled to open the door, and she pushed from inside. When the ice-encrusted door opened, it threw Marco backward into the snow.
He’d expected to see a lot of things when he found Lydia, none of them good. But he didn’t expect to hear her laughing.
She reached down. “Here, let me help you get up.”
“Why would I when I can provide you with so much entertainment?”
“I’m sorry. Here, take my hand.”
He reached out and pulled her down into the snow with him. They laughed together.
“You scared me,” he said.
“I’m okay.”
“I thought we’d lost you.”
“You haven’t lost me.”
His lips parted, then Lydia looked up at the road as a truck pulled up behind Marco’s car. “Dylan?”
They both stood, and Marco said, “When I didn’t see your car at the station, I called your mom.”
“Lydia!” Eve started down the embankment.
Lydia called, “Stay there. I’m fine. My car is a little banged up, but…”
“I don’t care about the car! You’re all that matters!”
“Wait there, Mom. I’m on my way up.” She turned back to the car. “I just need my purse and my overnight bag.”
“I’ll get them. You go up
to your mother.”
Once everyone was reunited, Eve said, “Hop in the truck. Let’s get out of this weather.”
Lydia replied, “You two go home. I need to talk to Marco.”
That got Marco’s attention, but he had no objections.
“Besides, there’s more room in his car for my baggage.” She turned to Marco. “Do you think you could take me back to the bar and make one of those coffee drinks of yours?”
Puzzled, Marco said quickly, “Sure.” His eyes darted toward Eve and Dylan. “The roads will only get worse.”
Lydia said, “We need to talk.”
Marco nodded slowly. “Okay, but if the snow keeps coming down at this rate, you might find yourself stranded at the brewpub.”
Eve and Dylan were noticeably silent, so Marco put Lydia’s bag in the back seat then closed Lydia’s door.
Dylan said, “We’ll follow you as far as the brewpub.”
“Mom, text me when you get home.”
Minutes later, Marco and Lydia sat by the woodstove. The weather had driven all the pub business away. No one needed to be out in that weather.
Theo said, “I’m closing early. If you need me, I’ll be upstairs.”
Marco set down two coffee drinks just as Lydia received a text from her mother. “Mom and Dylan got home safely.”
“That’s good to hear.”
Marco got a blanket from a chest in the corner and wrapped it around Lydia.
With a laugh, she said, “Marco, I’m fine. Really.”
While Lydia sipped her drink, Marco watched quietly then said, “Your car was heading in the wrong direction.”
She looked into his eyes. “It was the right direction for me.”
“Because of the weather?”
She shook her head. “Because of you.”
Despite the look in her eyes, he couldn’t trust himself to believe what he was hearing.
Lydia continued, “I was on the train, ready to go.” She looked into the fire. “Bryce is a really great guy. But he isn’t for me. I think I always knew it, but I…”