A disclosure hung in the air, and I’d have bet my life on it she had something profound to say. For a split second, I thought she was going to, but she steeled herself and just like that it was gone. Whatever it was, I felt it deep—like it was a delicate subject. Instinctively I didn’t push the matter further. It was another layer of the skin on the onion I knew I’d have to unpeel, to find the key to the bizarre reason she’d chosen to live her life in the way she had.
“Baby, we all have flaws and believe me, if we do commit to giving this a try, I don’t think there is anything you could say that would make me walk away. We’ve all got things we aren’t proud of or things we’re not proud we’ve done. Have you forgotten you’re talking to the guy who fucked his brother’s live-in girlfriend?”
Perhaps I expected her to wince at my frank admission, but she already knew the score with that. My eyes softened, glad she had heard me out, and I took the sides of her head in my hands. Immediately our eyes locked in a serious stare and we held it for a few moments until I frowned when I saw worry flit through hers and I spoke again.
“What gives me the right to judge you?” I could see she wasn’t convinced, and as if my searching her eyes would reveal her truth, she turned out of my hold and walked away. I let her because I believed since we had finally gotten on the same page there would be plenty of time to know how she ticked.
As painful as it felt, I remained true to my conviction to let her go. Stepping behind her, I held her by her shoulders and guided her toward the elevator. “Okay, do you need help to move your possessions from Bradley’s room?”
Glancing up at me her jaw dropped. “Can’t I at least have some time to talk to him about this before I go packing my shit up and moving somewhere else?”
I scowled, and I saw her eyes flare in surprise. I figured she had thought me unreasonable in my demand and asked, “Whose idea was it to share a room?”
Tricia frowned. “Does that matter?” She must have seen anger from the way I silently ground my teeth, my jawline set and I huffed out a frustrated breath. “It was Bradley’s… but I went along with it,” she added quickly, her hands waving weakly. “I genuinely thought it was a good idea. It works for us.”
“Worked. Past tense. It worked for him. It doesn’t work for me, so you’re moving out. Do you want Rhea to help move your luggage?”
“No.” She stared me down for a few seconds, and when she saw my position was never going to change, she sighed. “Fine. I’m moving. I don’t need Rhea, I can manage, I just think—”
“Share a room with Bradley or share time with me—one choice, Tricia, what’s it to be?”
Gazing into my eyes I saw the moment her decision was final. Patting my chest softly, she shook her head and shrugged. “Fine. I’ll move… I’ll move.” Her tone made her sound a little pissed at being put on the spot. “Where am I moving to?” she asked, arms spread wide to the sides.
“Anywhere he isn’t. A different floor would be a good start. I’ll arrange a new suite and have the front desk bring you a key card.”
“Jeez, you really are jealous, aren’t you?”
“Astute, I prefer the word astute. If life has taught me anything, Tricia, it is to always protect what’s mine,” I said, folding my arms across my chest to press my point to her.
“Yours? Is that how you see me?” she asked. Her expression flitted between delight and fright, her uncertainty noted by the disbelief in her tone.
“Not yet, but that would be my eventual intention, unless you’ve changed your mind. But you can’t begin to fill that spot yet, not while your possessions are still lying in some other guy’s room. Once we remedy that I’ll feel much happier about working toward putting a label on us.”
“Will you call me, later?”
“Of course, when you’ve decanted from lover boy’s room.”
“Stop calling him that, he’s a friend—”
I held my hand up to silence her and smirked. “Dinner 8:00 p.m. in the restaurant, I have a reservation for two in my name.”
“You already planned to have dinner with me?”
The elevator car arrived, and Tricia stepped inside, turned, and looked out at me. “Hardly, I would never be that presumptuous, but I’m sure Rhea won’t mind eating somewhere else… with Bradley, perhaps?” I replied, sounding childish and grinning. Tricia’s hand flew to her mouth, but it wasn’t in shock. Although I couldn’t see the smile she wore, it shone in her gorgeous green eyes. “8:00 p.m. Don’t let me down.” The elevator doors closed before she could reply, and I chuckled at that because I hadn’t missed the huge breath she’d inhaled as she had prepared to shoot something back.
Chapter Sixteen
“You look magnificent,” I told Tricia, the moment she came into view and I walked hurriedly toward her. My body instantly buzzed with excitement when the chemistry we shared arced tiny sparks of desire between us both on sight.
A wide smile stretched her perfect cherry red lips and she stepped closer until we were toe to toe. “I’d say the same about you, but that wouldn’t do justice to how dashing you look in that suit, Mr. Wild,” she replied playfully, and toyed with the lapel on my jacket.
We stood for a moment, taking each other in. I moved her long hair, which was swept to one side over her shoulder and covered her breast, and placed it behind her back. Exposing her long slender neck brought back the memory of the time when I’d marked it. A sharp zap of pleasure coursed through my veins. “That’s better,” I told her, sounding satisfied, and stared in appreciation at the effort she’d made to look good. Not that it took anything to make her look amazing.
For a long moment we both stood tongue-tied again, and I noted the atmosphere was completely different from that in the penthouse earlier. I reminded myself there were no barriers for us like there was then. Apologies had been made and accepted. Indecision and doubts had been understood on both sides, and if I’d felt the road behind us had been uncomfortable for most of the time, the future ahead had appeared clearer if not entirely brighter.
Dressed in a midnight blue backless dress with a plunging neckline, her appearance was simplistic, yet highly sophisticated. My eyes were riveted to her as she stood confidently, allowing me to take my fill of her. I thought there weren’t many women in this world at her age who could carry a dress as revealing as hers off, with the same poise and dignity, like she had.
A voice clearing brought me out of my trance-like state, and I cast a sideward glance toward the male host who had spoken before returning to Tricia. “Wild,” I muttered to him but kept my gaze on her.
“Of course, Sir. I have reserved the perfect table for you, please follow me.” I vaguely heard his response, but it hadn’t registered until seconds after Tricia smiled and raised her brow.
I leaned toward her and brushed my lips against her soft cheek. “Shall we?” I asked, placing my hand on the small of her back in a show of chivalry she’d only experienced from me when I’d done my duty at my brother’s wedding.
Dinner with Tricia was nothing like I imagined it could have been. There were no uneasy competitive gibes or one-upmanship to shock, as I’d envisioned from the woman I had thought I knew from before. In its place was more relaxed and interesting conversation, great food, and delicious selections of wines suggested by her. With each little piece of herself that Tricia elected to share, she gave me more reasons why I knew she was different.
By the time coffee arrived I was totally enthralled, convinced it was fate we’d found one another again, despite our attempts at avoidance. During the meal neither of us had discussed how we felt, but Tricia had shown me in little ways how she felt being there with me.
Desire oozed from every pore as she held my gaze, her pupils blown in attraction, as the windows to her soul shone in both playful flirtation then darkened with desire.
They were layers of Tricia I felt grateful to know. Personally, I felt I gave less of myself than she had, more focused on the significance of
the occasion; the date I’d envisioned with her to begin with and lost almost three years before.
Since then, despite all those thoughts of love and hate I’d ever had toward her, for the ways she affected me—good and bad—I had one answer I hadn’t expected, Tricia just hadn’t been ready. Patience is a virtue they say, and I hadn’t been patient with her, but had I known all she’d needed was some time—I’d have waited better.
As I listened to her candid conversation an awareness grew of how she made me feel. My heart rate spiked when she smiled and raced when she held my hands. I learned how my lips curved up in a smile, and I hung on her every word when I found her amusing and when I mirrored her smile. Most importantly, was how quickly my body came to life with sparks that flared desire for more with each unintentional touch we shared.
My cravings for her felt so indescribably complex that I had no idea how or where to begin to unpick them. All I knew was the sight of her set me alight, but that description felt nowhere near enough. Being with her and listening and watching her talk, as enthralling as I found her, that wasn’t enough either. Feeling her skin under my fingertips and all the feelings that gave me—nothing felt enough.
Then I remembered how she smelled, her incredible smile, those intense eyes with their ability to drown me one minute and suck the breath from me the next—or the taste and feel of her body—all of those wonderful liberties weren’t enough. Restlessness mingled with frustration within me, when I considered if there would ever come a point where I’d be able to use such a mundane word as enough in relation to how I felt about her.
My heart stalled for a second with those thoughts, because like it or not, she was already more than enough. Her ability to draw a cocktail of feelings from within me scared me.
Everything from passion and desire, to jealousy, fear, and frustration coursed through me when I was with her. But my need and the insane drive to protect what was mine, when I hadn’t even claimed her, told me I’d never have enough of her. I also knew I would have been willing to die trying to be enough for her, and with that came a better understanding of what Sawyer had confessed he felt about Billie.
Surprisingly, Tricia’s most interesting tell was whenever I hit a raw nerve that either embarrassed her or had made her feel uncomfortable. She fumbled with the solitaire diamond necklace she wore in a self soothing gesture. That registered with me as a way of finding her sensitive subjects and staying clear of those until we knew each other better.
After dinner, we had a few awkward minutes where the expectations of how the night was going to end had hung in the air. Nothing would have given me a greater high than to take her into my bed and do all that I’d dreamed of. But I was determined not to give her that. Sex wasn’t going to play a factor in what we had again until I knew for certain she wasn’t going to have another change of heart about us.
We had both admitted our feelings and I was resolute in trying to be true to the man it had taken me over four decades to become.
At not even 10:00 p.m., it felt too early to end the night, so I suggested a quiet drink in one of the many hotel lounges. When she agreed, we found a small, relatively private, dimly lit corner. All evening I had sat across from her, admiring how she looked, but from a safe distance, in a room full of people.
I sat down on a couch next to her, in the lounge. I slid my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, into my side.
Glancing up, she flashed me a nervous smile and her eyes shone happily that I’d made my move. Grazing my fingertips over the crest of her shoulder, I leaned in and spoke low in her ear. “Vodka?” My breath felt warm bouncing back at me from her skin and she shivered, goosebumps crimping her skin with one innocent word.
“Of course, make it a double … no triple,” she joked, I caught the way she looked at me, like she suddenly had an unquenchable thirst. I chuckled and waved the waitstaff over.
Like the lady asked, I ordered her a triple, and thanked the cocktail waitress. I figured letting her get buzzed was the least I could do since I felt determined to send her back to her room to sleep alone.
With the drinks ordered I turned, lifted her hand, and entwined her fingers in mine. They felt perfect together and for a moment I marveled at how well they fit. When I glanced up, her eyes lifted and we looked at one another like a pair of lovesick teens. The moment felt full of angst with the weight of desire that passed between us and I swallowed roughly.
“You really moved out?” Bradley asked, interrupting us, his stormy eyes noting where my arm was and scowled. Before he gave Tricia an opportunity to answer, I glanced up at him with an upturned brow.
“She did,” I replied, answering for her in a deadpan tone, as the waitress came back and placed our drinks down beside us. I smiled, thanked her, and then looked back at Bradley as if to say, “Are you still here?”
“Right,” he replied, snapping out of a trance after he’d surveyed the scene. Stuffing his hands deep in his pockets, he nodded like he’d lost control of his head, his mind no doubt exploding from thoughts he dared not say to me in front of Tricia.
Regardless of what others thought of me, I wasn’t a ruthless man and I kind of felt sorry for him. The poor guy obviously still loved her, even after all those years when he had missed his chance as a kid. Perhaps if their relationship hadn’t been interrupted by that douchbag in high school, he may have stood a better chance with her. My chest tightened with that thought and a long pause stretched between us, until I felt Tricia’s body stiffen, and she gently withdrew from my arm.
Instead of holding on possessively, I let my arm fall from her shoulder and down her back, pulling it out from behind her and placing it on my lap. It was a strange feeling because I hadn’t felt threatened by Bradley anymore.
“Sorry I skipped out on you, but due to misunderstandings and foolishness on my part, James and I have been trying to get on the same page for years.” She sighed, heavily. “I never expected to see him here, and since I have, we’ve realized we still have some unfinished business. I won’t be able to deal with this if I’m worrying about leaving you alone in the room we shared, to spend time as friends. That wouldn’t be fair on either of us.” The girl had tact—I conceded.
“That’s cool… I’m cool,” Bradley mumbled, trying to sound like he understood, but his face told a whole other picture as the smile he’d worn when he addressed Tricia turned sour the moment his eyes slid from her to me.
“Thanks, Bradley, I know I’ve fucked up your plans for your downtime during the conference, but I’m sure if you seek Rhea out, you’ll find her great company.” I looked to Tricia again and flashed her a winning smile. “With us both out of action, Rhea’s going to find herself at a loose end as well.”
“Yeah?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck when it dawned on him he’d rather be anywhere else and began to retreat. “I’ll be sure to check out what she’s doing, catch you later, Tricia,” he said, leaving me out of his reluctant goodbye.
“Poor guy,” I said flatly, as I reached for my drink, trying to sound as if I was bummed for him when inside I felt far more contented since we’d shown him exactly where he stood.
“Maybe sharing with him wasn’t the best idea,” Tricia mused, as if the penny finally dropped about why Bradley did what he had. She lifted her drink and took a large nervous gulp of it.
I brought her focus back to us, and although Tricia wasn’t excited at having to wait to be in my bed again after all this time, she accepted that we had to work to build trust and I be sure she wasn’t going to get cold feet again.
It was almost midnight when I kissed her slowly outside her new hotel suite door. Aiming for a tentative controlled gentle kiss, my lips brushed against hers and the instant they did, Tricia lost control. My scalp tingled when her fingers slid into my hair, her palm quickly applying pressure as her tongue lashed into my mouth seeking mine.
Sexual restraint wasn’t something I’d been used to practicing in life, and it had felt sa
distic denying us until the night before we flew home when I’d cut us some slack and finger fucked her in the corridor beside her hotel suite door, just to ease the tension.
Doing a little to save letting loose on a hell of a lot more had felt like a reasonable boundary until the instant Tricia began to recover and she’d dropped on her knees, her hot swollen lips pressing against my erection through the material of my suit pants. Clamping my hand over hers, I had to still her action of undoing them, or I swear she would have blown me right there.
I had only found the will to walk away because I knew it might be the last night I would. With the conference ending, we had survived the agonizing wait and both Tricia and I could hardly wait to get back to my New York apartment.
Chapter Seventeen
“I was thinking, maybe we could share a minivan to the airport?” Bradley stated, as I rejoined the group after saying goodbye to Deanna.
I was sure this was a last-ditch attempt to spend time with Tricia, but I shrugged that thought away.
The pleading look in his eyes had appeared a little pathetic, but despite knowing what he’d like to have happened between him and Tricia, and the probable scenario that I’d break his jaw if he tried, I found myself nodding. We were parting ways on the concourse anyway, since he was traveling back to a different state.
Our company limousine had already been hired and I figured it was likely waiting for Rhea and me, since we were already late for the ten-minute checkout time we’d arranged. “Sure, no need to arrange anything. Our car is already waiting outside. I’m sure we can squeeze you both in.” I had already been going to suggest they ride with us before Bradley had shown his hand.
My concession was partly to show Tricia she could still have independence in her friendships, despite my caveman act with Bradley. I had no wish to control her in that sense; she just wasn’t sharing rooms with them while they tried to get into her pants. So, no matter what I’d thought of Bradley’s tactics, I knew he was important to her. Besides, apart from the fact she had blown him out in favor of me, I had already decided the threat from him to my relationship with Tricia was negligible.
Resist You (Unchained Attraction Book 3) Page 14