After our swim, we ate the packed lunch made by Mallery and once the twins had polished theirs off, they behaved in a more docile way. Remy was tuckered out and lay down next to where Tricia was seated and within minutes, he’d fallen asleep. Brynn clung to Billie with her thumb in her mouth fighting tiredness.
Leaving them in the downstairs seating area, I headed up to the top deck to find Sawyer. He and the boys were talking boats and I felt a pang of envy at how easy Sawyer could switch his conversation from one level to another with ease in the way that he did.
The conversation was interrupted when Billie came up a couple of minutes later and reminded them all they still hadn’t eaten. As they filed downstairs, she asked if she could talk to me for a minute.
“Has Tricia ever spoken to you about Brynn?”
“Brynn?” I repeated, but knew immediately what the issue was.
“She overtly favors Remy over Brynn and it’s breaking my heart. I know she’s a handful, but she escalates her behavior when she gets ignored… and she clearly feels ignored by the way Tricia avoids her.”
“Did you ask Tricia about it?”
“No, of course not, Brynn has always been near us when Tricia is around. The poor kid has been seeking her attention since the moment you both arrived, and Tricia for some reason is either immune to her or just has an outright dislike for her.”
Glancing out at the ocean I stood for a moment warring what to disclose, but I knew if I did that it would have been breaking Tricia’s confidence, and I wasn’t prepared to do that.
“Can I ask you for patience?” I asked, and Billie’s jaw dropped. It was clear she had found it hard to talk to me in the first place and I knew she felt I was blowing her off.
“Patience? My daughter is not yet four years old, James, she’s your flesh and blood through your brother. Don’t you want to protect her from being hurt?”
“Absolutely,” I replied, quickly. “Do you trust me, Billie?”
“You have to ask me that?”
“No, I don’t, so I’m asking you to do this. Tricia is working through some heavy stuff right now.”
“Stuff? What stuff? And what could possibly make a grown woman sideline a child the way she has.”
“She’s not sidelining her,” I snapped. I sighed when I saw how devastated Billie looked and I could see she thought I wasn’t on her side, or Brynn’s for that matter. “Look, I know it’s hard for you to understand why she’d behave this way. I can’t betray a trust, but believe me when I tell you, I will talk to her about this. To be honest, I don’t think Tricia knows she’s doing anything wrong.”
“If you won’t talk to her, I will,” she snapped, untying her sarong and tying it tighter again.
“You know, Billie, I think that would be a very good thing, for both of you,” I agreed. “You’re best friends and you shouldn’t be afraid to confront her if something is bothering you.”
“I came to you because the kids are always around us and getting time isn’t easy, but how she’s behaved today has pissed me off. That’s why I’m standing here in front of you right now. I don’t know if I can continue to tolerate being hospitable toward her when she’s hurting my daughter.”
“Billie,” I said, stepping closer and placing my hand on her upper arm to sooth her. “If Tricia knew how upset Brynn was, it would cut her up. I’ll talk to her, but please can you do this another day?”
“Speak to who about what another day?” Tricia asked, climbing the last couple of steps to the upper deck. Turning to look at her, I watched her eyes flick from mine to my hand that rested on Billie’s arm and I pulled it away.
“It’s nothing—” I started.
“Brynn—” she said at the same time.
Narrowing her eyes, Tricia stared suspiciously toward me until I blinked. “Fine. I was trying to help, but I guess as Billie has forced my hand, I’ll leave you two ladies to talk.”
It had been my intention to protect Tricia’s secret, but I sensed if I had pushed more it would have ended in conflict one way or another. As Tricia had already decided she was ready to confront her mom about her past, I figured it only right she should also face the consequences of her bias about Brynn.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Forty minutes later I had begun to worry when neither woman emerged from the upper deck. Sawyer obviously knew the score as he never once asked where they were or what they were doing up there.
We were keeping all the kids busy with a game of Who am I. The little ones were paired with Sawyer and I, Remy with Sawyer and Brynn with me. However, while Colby guessed the name on his forehead, my mind was on what was happening above us and was thankful there hadn’t been any screaming or yelling from them.
When it was almost time to head back, the twins became restless. Sawyer was about to head upstairs when I told him I’d go and ask the girls to come down. I thought he’d sensed there was a conversation going on between Tricia and Billie that was private when he hadn’t asked in front of the others what they were talking about.
“Everything all right?” I asked, as I climbed the stairs before I saw them, giving them a heads-up I was on my way. When I reached the top deck, it was clear both women had been crying, and were hugging each other tightly. My chest tightened when I saw the anguish etched on Tricia’s face and knew she had shared her secret with Billie.
A streak of pride ran through me that she’d found the courage to tell someone else, and I was certain her friend’s reaction would have helped Tricia’s confidence to challenge her mom. It felt like another huge stride forward for her in coming to terms with what had happened to her when she was young.
“Yeah, we’re good,” Billie mumbled, quietly rocking Tricia from side to side as they hugged, before leaving the embrace as she stood up. “I better go see to the twins. I’ll send Sawyer up to start the engine because I’d like to get home before it gets dark.” I nodded, and she wandered past me, paused, and touched my forearm before heading toward the stairs.
As she went out of sight, I scooped Tricia into my arms, expecting more tears but instead of that, she looked into my eyes and appeared determinedly stronger. It was a look of the woman I’d fallen in love with and she smiled.
“Poor Billie, she’s right about Brynn, and now that she knows, I don’t think I’ll feel afraid to show my affection toward Brynn. All my life I’ve been scared to show my true feelings and lived in fear of my horrible truth. That girl is a true friend, instead of looking horrified she pulled me against her and sobbed right along with me. She hurt because I hurt. When I met Billie, she was at a low point in her life. Logan had just left her to bring up Colby alone. She had no idea what a fighter she was, but Sawyer showed her the way and she isn’t afraid to face her demons anymore. As a mom who had done what it took, to provide for her son during her divorce, I didn’t expect Billie have empathy for any woman in my situation.”
“Don’t underestimate the good in people, Tricia. First you told me, then Miles… and now Billie.” I pulled her into my chest and kissed her head. My heart rate raced and then settled with the physical contact. I stared out at the dark blue ocean and inhaled a deep breath, wishing I could make all her hurt go away.
“Perhaps I do,” she mumbled.
“You’ve buried this for over thirty years and in a matter of months you’ve trusted two more people, apart from me. I think you’re learning to have faith in what we say to you. Let’s hope it’s a beginning to finding some peace through it all. Confronting your mom will be difficult, but I believe you’ll feel less burdened by some of the aspects surrounding your baby being placed for adoption. I’m not going to dismiss your feelings by telling you the shame will go away, but knowing how others feel about you and what happened may help you to live with yourself better.”
“How did I get so lucky all of a sudden?”
“Our luck was in the first time we met, baby. But I guess the timing was off,” I replied with a rueful smile, because we’d wasted tho
se valuable years we could have had together.
“I can’t explain how it feels to know you love me despite all my flaws. You’re never going to get rid of me, do you know this?”
That morning before we’d left for the day, I had imagined proposing during some perfect moment, and from my perspective that moment would have been it, had the ring not been in my sports bag in the cabin downstairs. I decided it was probably just as well, as she had been crying and she’d have been stuck with an ugly selfie of her red-rimmed eyes as a memory.
“We need to be heading back,” Sawyer stated, standing on the stairs, his head barely appearing at our floor level. I nodded and he made his way up the rest of them.
“Are you good?” he asked. I immediately guessed Billie hadn’t clued him in because it would have been difficult to talk with all the kids downstairs.
“Yeah, never better.”
“Tricia, would you mind helping Billie in second berth? She’s laid them on the bed with the TV, but it’s the witching hour and the twins are getting cranky,” Sawyer said with a gentle smile on his face. I loved how perceptive my brother was. Since he was little, he’d always had a sixth sense when it came to awkward situations. I could tell Tricia knew Sawyer wanted to know what had happened. Pretending to kiss me she went up on tiptoe and whispered into my ear.
“You can tell him, I’d rather it came from you than from Billie,” she told me, as she planted a kiss on my cheek, turned, and made her way downstairs.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Sawyer asked after turning the key in the ignition and pressing the button to reel in the anchor. As soon as he fired the engine, he pushed on the throttle and steered us back inland.
It took me less than ten minutes to bring him up-to-date and during that time Sawyer sat staring ahead. I noticed his knuckles blanching more than once as his hand balled into a fist. By the time I was done, I could feel the tension in the air between us. At first, I prepared myself to be told it wasn’t Brynn’s fault and she shouldn’t have been shunned for Tricia’s past mistakes.
“God,” he said. Then nothing else for some time while he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t know what to say,” he eventually added and shrugged.
“I can’t imagine what she’s gone through all these years. She’d never told a soul until she told me… and she fainted when she did,” I admitted.
“Doesn’t it make you want to hunt that fucker down and make him suffer? I mean, it’s not like you not to have done that already… wait, you hav—”
“Already dead,” I chipped in. “And no … it wasn’t me. It was a snowboarding accident some years later,” I added when his eyes widened in horror at the thought I’d played a part in that.
“Fuck me, poor Tricia,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and I felt how helpless he felt to know the right thing to say. “She’s getting help?”
“Yeah, been in therapy a while now,” I said, explaining how far along she had come and that she was about to confront her mom.
“All right, whatever you need, you’ve got it. If you need Billie to go with her I’ll take care of the kids,” he said, thinking ahead, and I saw the practical side of my brother kick in.
“We’ve got it covered, but thanks. And I’ll work on her about her relationship with Brynn.”
“We’d appreciate that, but now that we understand, we can help on our end too,” he confirmed in support, and gave me a side hug as we sat side by side while he drove the boat. “I had no idea you were going through all of this. You must be worried about her.”
“I am, but I love her… and she loves me back.” I grinned at my awkward explanation and he chuckled. “We’ve had an emotional time this past few months while she’s been coming to grips with her feelings, but I’m confident her shrink is doing her good. He’s opened her mind to the possibility that as a minor she wasn’t in a position of power. That lies with her mom, and to be honest, we haven’t visited them since we’ve gotten together because Tricia couldn’t face her since she’s been in therapy.”
“Fuck, that’s a potentially explosive situation when she does confront her.”
“Agreed, and I’ve suggested using the penthouse in the city for them to hash it all out… I mean it worked for us,” I confirmed, eyeing him cautiously, when I reminded him of us talking through what had happened between Charlotte and me.
“It did, our mom was wise to suggest it.” Nodding, he turned the boat to the right and their house came into sight in the distance. “Let me know if there’s anything we can do. You know we’re here for you guys… it does explain one thing though… my wife and I have been speculating as to why you haven’t proposed to her. We see how you are together.”
I snickered. “Actually, I was going to ask her today, but like the rest of my life there’s always something fucking with my mojo and getting in the way.”
“You bought a ring?” Sawyer asked, his eyes wide with excitement as his mood instantly changed from the brooding look he’d been wearing, when he grinned.
“Might have,” I teased.
“You have it with you?”
“I may have it tucked in a corner of my sports bag somewhere, but…” I shrugged, not convinced my timing right.
“If you want it, do it. If she wants it, she’ll say yes… my gut says she’ll say yes,” he added, chuckling. “You could use the kids as emotional blackmail,” Sawyer teased, wagging his eyebrows.
“Thanks for the offer, but that implies I’ll need it,” I laughed with him.
“Need what?” Billie asked, stepping up from the stairs between the corner seating where I was spread out and plonked herself in the co-pilot’s seat next to her husband.
“For someone with a button for a nose you are a real nosey Nellie,” Sawyer teased.
“And? Research has shown nosey people are bright,” she replied, turning her head to look at me and winked.
“Where is this research?” Sawyer asked, chuckling.
“On the internet,” she replied smugly.
“Who wrote the paper?” Sawyer asked, trying to contain his laugh.
“Someone,” she replied, shrugging and he pulled her in for a hug.
“All right that’s my cue to go rescue my woman from the clutches of your little people.” As I headed back to Tricia, I’d already decided the time wasn’t right to ask her to marry me because when I did, I reckoned she deserved a day where nothing was less than perfect.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Dawn was only just breaking when I woke and turned on my side. I vaguely remember Tricia freeing herself from my arms and going into the bathroom. Until that point, she’d felt like a second skin as we’d spooned and the loss of her body next to mine had left me with a dull ache in my chest. I’d felt exhausted and fell straight back to sleep before she came back to bed.
Sliding my hand under the pillow, I lay looking at her asleep facing me and my heart clenched for the life she had missed, a life where she had no personal dreams because she had never come to terms with her past. My chest tightened when I thought if she hadn’t been affected by her ordeal, I probably would never have met her. She’d be married now with children, living a normal life like most.
“What are you looking at?” Tricia mumbled, like her sixth sense knew I was watching. I hadn’t seen her open her eyes, but I guessed she’d had a peek at the very moment I’d become lost in thought.
“This gorgeous woman in my bed. I want to take you to meet my parents,” I blurted, and her gorgeous sleepy eyes flew open. She scoffed.
“I’ve met your parents already,” she replied, smiling and shaking her head a little in disbelief.
“Not as my girlfriend, you haven’t.”
She chuckled again. “Oh, so you’re making me official now?”
“You were official the night I took you to bed after Denver.” Rolling onto her back she stared up at the ceiling before turning back onto her side, placing her hand on my cheek.
“I know,
but I think I like the sound of hearing I’m official,” she whispered, moving her hand and tracing my lips with her fingertips.
“Good, because I don’t want to live without you in my life,” I replied, snuggling her into my arms. Tricia immediately pressed a soft kiss on my neck, and I rolled us over until she was on top of me. Her body felt soft and warm and totally delicious atop mine.
“You’re very hard, Mr. Wild,” she goaded.
“Your fault,” I replied.
“Is that so?”
“My dick is always hard when I’m near you. I live semi-cocked around you.”
“Semi-cocked,” she repeated chuckling, and reached between us to rub it with her palm.
Pulling her hand away, I rolled us over until she was beneath me, settled between her legs, and felt how wet she was the instant my tip grazed her entrance. The connection we had in that moment immediately intensified and my heart instantly raced. Tricia smiled, not a sexy smile, a loving one, and I rested my forehead on hers.
“What you do to me, woman,” I muttered, peppering light kisses on her face, but not willing to break our connection by moving my head an inch.
“Show me what I do,” she whispered, her breathing shallow as excitement woke up her body.
Nudging my cock at her entrance I teased, “You want this?”
“Always,” she breathed and wiggled to pull me closer.
Sliding inside her, the sound she made was exquisite, like a cross between a moan and a whimper of need. Our mouths were parted and close together until her breath became my air.
“I love you so much,” I whispered, a note of desperation in my tone as she took my face in her hands, closed the rest of the space between us, and poured her passion into a kiss.
Making love to her slowly, our intense chemistry and addiction toward one another reminded me why I’d been so connected to her in the first place. It also reaffirmed my desire to keep her, protect her, and love her for the rest of my life.
Resist You (Unchained Attraction Book 3) Page 21