“Yes,” she said, wishing now that he’d just get on with it.
“Allie, you need to relax.”
“I am relaxed,” she said, and then seeing his reproving look, she added, “I’m trying to relax.”
“You will not feel any discomfort, nor will you be forced to relive any of the events,” he promised, placing one hand over her forehead and the other over her heart. “You may feel sleepy, and if you sleep all the better; otherwise you may let your mind wander. For now just rest and release the tension you are holding so that I can connect to you and see what needs to be done.”
She closed her eyes, trying to force her muscles to relax with very little success. His voice was calm when he spoke again, “This will be much easier if you can allow yourself to let go. The biggest difference between this type of healing and physical healing is that your mind needs to be willing to let me help you.”
“I want you to help me,” she whispered.
“I know that you do, but you are not letting me in. If you find a calm place within yourself it will be easier for me to connect. I do not want to force such a thing with you and create more mental trauma that must then be undone,” his words were perfectly reasonable. Sensible. She tried to force the tension from her body by sheer willpower.
She heard Brynneth sigh and she tried harder, with predictable results. His voice floated in the darkness behind her eyes, “Allie, in the past it helped you to draw on other people’s emotions did it not?”
“Yes, sometimes,” she replied carefully. “When I am really overwhelmed or tired it can help to connect to other people, to ground me and…it’s almost like it restores my energy.”
“Would it aid you now in relaxing to connect to my emotions?”
“Oh! I couldn’t…I don’t think…I mean that’s not…”Allie stammered, flustered. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to look at him.
“You did as much before when you needed it,” he said.
“Yes, but...I just don’t know if it’s right to do it, you know? I feel like I’m using people and that feels wrong,” she fought to put into words the nebulous uneasiness surrounding her ability to use her empathy to pull energy from other people’s emotions.
“How can it be wrong to take something that costs me nothing and which I am freely offering to give you?” he asked in that same reasonable voice.
She bit her lip, not sure how to get him to understand why it bothered her. Even Jess didn’t understand that, and she couldn’t seem to explain to anyone the way it reminded her so strongly of the Dark court creatures who fed on people’s fear and pain. She lay there with her eyes tightly closed, unsure what to say as the seconds stretched out into minutes.
Brynneth began to sing, quietly at first, his voice a soft tenor. She recognized the song immediately. It was a lullaby, one that her own mother had sung many times. The familiar words, the rhythm and melody, wove around her and she let herself get lost in them. As her barriers began to lower, without thinking, she reached out with her empathy and allowed his emotions to flow over her. She felt his healing gift, similar and yet so very foreign to her empathy, reaching out to her along the lines of her own gift. It was an odd feeling but she tried not to fight against it, instead focusing her attention on his voice, now repeating the song for the third time.
She remembered her mother singing those same words, rocking her in her arms even when Allie was older. Her mother had been like a goddess to Allie, beautiful and strong, always there to protect her from anything. She thought of the way that her mother’s hair, the same exact dark blond as Allie’s own, would sway as she sang and rocked, covering Allie like a curtain. The way that she would tuck her head against her mother’s shoulder and breathe in the smell of blackberries and mint that always seemed to linger around her…feeling safe…
She did not realize she was falling asleep until Brynneth was waking her up. She was still connected to him, his emotions blending into her own so that at first she could not tell who was feeling what. The cool wetness of tears on the side of her face was unexpected and she reached up touching one side to be sure it was there. It was disorienting, even after she realized she was crying because of what he was feeling, not because she herself was sad.
She wanted to ask him why he felt such sorrow, but she was afraid of what he might say, and also that the question was too intrusive. Instead she gingerly extricated herself from his emotions, pulling back until she was certain that her feelings were her own. She decided not to mention the crying unless he brought it up.
“Thank you Brynneth – Bryn – for this. I can feel the difference already,” she breathed deeply, feeling lighter, as if a weight had been taken away that she hadn’t even realized was there.
“It will take more than a single session to fully heal all the damage, but I did make significant progress today,” he said, standing up and stretching. “You should find that you are no longer overwhelmed by the memories, at the least.”
She realized that she had no idea how much time had passed, but her stomach growled, complaining that she had skipped breakfast and lunch.
Hearing it he added, “You should try to eat and rest more than usual for the next day or two and drink plenty of water. It might be best if you spent the remainder of the day here, allowing the spell to fully settle.”
So it was bad enough to need a spell she thought not sure how to react to the knowledge. On the one hand it made her feel that she had bargained well to ask for the healing, but on the other it made her worry that she was more badly damaged than she had feared. She wanted nothing more than to stay in her room all day and nap, but with the layer of healing between her and the worst of her anxiety she realized that she needed to listen to Syndra. She owed it her friend to try to find out why she was unable to move on but also unable to go to where she’d died.
She sat up, rolling her shoulders to get some of the stiffness out, then said, “I would like to do that, but I work tomorrow and am supposed to be helping the Guard with the investigation tomorrow after work. There’s something I need to do and if I don’t do it today I don’t know when I’ll have time.”
He looked unhappy, “It would be better to rest today, and run your errand some other time.”
“I know, but I don’t know how much more of Syndra showing up in my dreams I can handle,” Allie said without thinking, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
Brynneth froze. “You…have been dreaming of officer Lyons?”
“Hmmm? Oh, yes,” Allie said, her mind catching up with her mouth and realizing what she’d just said. “Only a few times. But she’s insistent that I need to go and visit the site of the murders.”
“Why?” he asked, his voice that odd neutral tone that she was starting to understand elves used when they were trying their hardest not to show what they were feeling. She couldn’t help reading him then but didn’t know what to make of the disturbed and uneasy feelings coming from him.
“Because she says that she can’t go there because it has some strange wards on it that aren’t from the elves. She wants me to go see what’s going on out there and find out why she’s stuck here but kept away from there.”
“I do not think it is wise for you to go out there alone.”
“Are the elves working on cleaning up the site? Magically I mean?”
“No,” he said, staring out the window and frowning. “We have called for a high adept to come and see what must be done to repair the damaged area and unravel the strange energy that has been created, but it will be several more months, at best, before she will arrive.”
“Then I think I need to go. Before I couldn’t because the panic attacks, the anxiety was all so bad, even thinking about it would have me on the floor crying, but it feels less intense now. It’s still a scary thought but it’s not so overwhelmingly impossible,” she said with more confidence than she felt.
“Allie you should not rush out immediately after such a healing and put yourself in a situation that will
trigger the things we are working to heal,” he said. “Give yourself time to recover.”
“I know you are right Bryn, truly I do. But somehow, and I can’t explain how, but somehow I feel like this is important. Maybe it’s synchronicity but Syndra coming to me, telling me to go to the ritual site, finding out there is more than one girl missing, someone trying to scare me or harass me. It shouldn’t all be connected but somehow it feels like it is, and I have to trust my intuition on this. There’s a connection between the things that are going on, I just can’t see what it is yet. But I can go and try to help Syn, try to figure out why she’s stuck the way she is, and maybe that will let me see the bigger pattern,” shehadn’t meant to make such a long speech out of it and she looked down when she was done, lacing her fingers together, feeling foolish. She knew that she should stay and rest, but she had to prove to everyone – especially herself – that she wasn’t afraid. If she could only act brave enough, maybe she would feel it inside as well, and stop fearing everything.
“Are you absolutely certain?” Brynneth asked.
“Yes, I am,” she said. “I don’t know whether Syndra’s really visiting me in my dreams or whether it’s just my subconscious trying to tell me something. But it doesn’t matter, because either way I need to go out there. I need to see where she died, and see for myself what is going on.”
He looked thoughtful. “Jess was insistent that you be involved in finding the missing girl. Now it seems you have uncovered that it is more than one girl we need to find. You are dreaming that your dead friend is telling you to visit the site of the murders. Do you believe that the girls have been killed?”
Allie paled, “I don’t want to think that. It would mean.…no, I don’t want there to be any connection like that. But there’s something going on here. Something I don’t understand. I think if I go out to the site I can get some answers.”
He nodded, “Then I will go with you and we will see together what is to be seen out there.”
*******************************
Ferinyth paced the length of the motel room waiting impatiently for Salarius to return with food. He was tired of this drab place and tired of sitting around doing nothing. Only his fear of failing a second time gave him pause.
How did they find her so quickly after that inept human took her for us? he thought again, his mind turning the problem over and over. Everything had been going perfectly that night, and then without warning the Elven Guard had arrived and ruined it all. If anyone had seen her being kidnapped they would have rescued her sooner. And there is no possibility that we were followed. So how did they find her? Daeriun said that she had used magic from the book…
He shook his head slightly, picking up a half empty wine bottle and swigging directly from it. There is no way that such a weak, whimpering bint as that mixed-blooded bitch could have summoned any magic stronger than Dae’s. Dae was a powerful mage – even the spineless Bright court Guard could not defeat him in direct combat. Certainly no mere girl could have done anything significant. Ferinyth took another long drink, dismissing the possibility. Thinking of the girl though reminded him of his current frustration. He wanted to show his father that a single failure meant nothing and that he could succeed when it mattered. I will show him my worth, he thought grimly, and when they are done with the girl I will teach her what her place really is.
He smiled, remembering the sound of her screaming.
********************************
The ride out to the site of the rituals passed in silence. They had gotten a later start than Allie wanted because Brynneth had insisted that she eat something before they did anything else, and then she’d had to tell Jason that she was going out with Bryn. And then waste time explaining why she didn’t need Jason to come along too. Although it probably wouldn’t have mattered to have Jason go with them, she would feel ridiculous dragging him out to walk around a field for nothing and she wasn’t sure it was fair to make him visit the place their mutual friend had died. So in the end she had convinced him she would be safe enough with Brynneth and Bryn had said he would bring her straight out there and back, reassuring Jason that she wasn’t going to talk him into any other side trips.
As he drove Allie distracted herself by looking around the Guard vehicle; while she’d ridden in them several times at that point she’d always been in the backseat. Today riding with Brynneth she was in the front passenger’s seat. The novelty was enough to keep her from thinking too much about where they were going, until they turned down the last road with the familiar fence and field stretched along the side.
Brynneth pulled the car over onto the grassy shoulder, next to the old wooden fence. The vehicle was still as much on the narrow road as off, but there was almost no traffic out here and Allie doubted it would be a problem. She got out and carefully climbed the fence, making sure to step down with her good foot. The last thing she wanted was to twist her bad ankle a few feet from the car and end this before she get any answers.
“Let me walk ahead of you,” Brynneth said.
She turned to argue and saw that he had magically changed from his uniform to armor and drawn his sword. “Is that necessary?”
“Caution does no harm, and this place has an uncanny feel.”
Resigned, she stopped and waited for him to move ahead. The light of the late afternoon sun glinted on the metal of his armor as they moved deeper into the trees. Allie had never been this close to the site before; when she had found it in March, she had only just gotten into the field when Jess had stopped her and made her go back. Moving through the woods now, feeling the increasing energy as they approached the place where eight girls had been sacrificed, and her friend had been killed, was almost surreal.
Without warning the trees opened up into a wide clearing. In the center a waist high boulder formed a natural altar, and Allie knew immediately that this was the place. The air was so charged with magical energy her skin tingled and broke out in goose flesh. After a moment she realized that it wasn’t just the amount of energy that was making her feel so strange; the energy was subtly wrong. She could not have put into words what exactly was wrong with it, but her subconscious immediately recognized the flavors of death and pain that colored it, energy that she had known well as a child but had long put behind her.
Brynneth stopped at the outer edge of the clearing. She edged forward until she was standing next to him. Her voice was a whisper, hushed by an atavistic respect, “Do you feel that?”
“Of course,” he said, his own voice offended.
“No, I don’t mean the energy, I mean…there’s something…doesn’t it feel, I don’t know, fresh to you? Fresher than it should if it’s six weeks old?” she shook her head slightly not sure if she was making any sense. The place was uncanny, but the energy didn’t feel old like she thought it should, and that frightened her.
Brynneth looked uncertain. He took a hesitant step forward and then began edging sideways around the clearing. After a moment Allie followed him. Slowly the two circled the space, the energy flowing and rippling in the clearing. There was no barrier or ward here but the energy itself held them back, creating a faint sensation of resistance which neither the elf nor half-elf wanted to push into. Allie wondered if this alone was what might be keeping Syndra’s spirit out.
They had worked their way more than halfway around the space when Allie stopped abruptly. Brynneth stopped a few steps later. “What is it?”
“There’s something…I can feel something…familiar… oh no,” she closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly trying to deny it, but the air was thick with the same emotional trace she had gotten caught up in at the scene of Jenny’s disappearance. “Oh, shit.”
“What? Aliaine speak! Tell me what is going on,” the normally unshakable healer was glancing around into the shadowed woods, sword at the ready, eyes white rimmed and frightened.
Allie worked to speak as the energetic trace wrapped around her and tried to pull her into the tre
es north of where they were standing, away from the open ritual space, “I found a, sort of, an emotional trace. Like a track or trail. I’ve felt this before, when Jess, Mariniessa and I went to the place the missing girl was last seen. It’s the same person, the same emotional signature.”
Brynneth swore, words she had not heard since she was a child, and she covered her mouth with her hand in shock. He was the last person she would ever have expected that particular phrase to come out of. “Is it fresh? Is the person still here?”
Allie considered that, not sure how to judge the age of the emotions hanging in the air and still fighting not to be overwhelmed by them the way she had been at the other location. “I’m not positive, but not fresh, not someone who is here now, I don’t think. Older than that. But it’s hard…they pull at me, wanting me to follow them…”
“Where? Which direction?”
Mutely she pointed towards the area she was being drawn to. He reached for his cellphone slowly and carefully, balancing his sword in his other hand. Almost at the same moment she became aware of Jess reaching out to her. She opened up to him immediately, needing the reassurance and anchoring he provided. His voice in her mind was full of worry “My love what is wrong?”
“Ahhh, don’t be too angry but I’m out at the site of the ritual murders, not alone though Brynneth is with me, and I found the same emotional trace here we found where Jenny disappeared,” she thought back, and then hurried on as she felt his emotions swing into anger and fear in equal measure “Bryn is on his cell now, calling it in I think, and no one else is out here but us. But someone has been out here recently, and whoever it is, it’s the same person who took Jenny.”
“Are you certain? Absolutely certain?” he asked, and she knew he meant was she certain about being alone as much as certain about the connection to Jenny.
“Yes. Absolutely. Jess – there’s something very wrong going on out here. I can’t explain it, but you need to get out here,” she took a step forward and then another, feeling the energy shift as she moved away from the altar and towards an emotional whirlpool. Like the other one, but this time she recognized it before she was sucked into it.
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