by A. J. Downey
“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he said dully and I smiled and rested my forehead against his.
“You aren’t,” I said and it was as if that statement alone lifted a thousand pound boulder off of his shoulders. If one of his brothers hadn’t already held the name Atlas, I might have suggested it in that moment. Of course, Atlas could never set his burden down while Nothing? Nothing sighed with relief and held me close, while I held him.
I finally thought we might have a good start here. Time would tell.
Chapter 28
Nothing
We held each other and dozed and I didn’t think I could deny it. It’d been a long time since anything like love stirred in the center of my chest, but it was there now. It was like Charity had drawn the two fractured halves of me into alignment, like she had the touch and the skills, where no one had before and the real break that’d happened the night my family’d died, had finally been set. I felt like, with a little more time, and with hers and my brothers’ support, that I could start to mend. That was, if my brothers had it in them to be around me anymore.
The door to the room opened, and I looked over from Charity’s angelic face where it rested on the pillow across from mine. She’d fallen asleep again, and I had simply stared at the golden morning light through the blinds as it shimmered in her golden hair and wondered how on earth a man like me could be so lucky twice in one lifetime.
Cutter stood in the doorway and looked us over, he swallowed, and said “Club meeting, The Plank, twenty minutes.” I nodded and tried not to let my heart drop at how grave he sounded. I turned back to Charity’s ice blue eyes looking me over.
“Hey,” I intoned softly.
“Hi.”
“You heard?”
“Mm-hm.”
“You gonna be okay, here?”
She smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. It was cute, and made me smile, which I think was her goal.
“Should get dressed and get going, twenty minutes isn’t a lot of time to do both that and get down there.”
“True enough.”
“I’ll be here when you’re done, maybe on the beach,” she said.
“Promise?”
She smiled again, “Promise.”
It was enough to make the knot of anxiety in my chest ease some. I got up, got dressed and with a final, lingering kiss, got myself gone and down to The Plank.
***
The Captain had called us all together to debrief us on the whole Russian situation. Hope was invited to this little soiree being as she was as involved as the rest of us. They’d taken out the dipshit who’d kidnapped Charity and disposed of him accordingly, however, when it came to the hotel, they’d gotten there too late to be any good. His comrades had gotten out before they could catch up with them. It left us all a little bitter and more than on edge.
“Hypervigilance is our only option at this point. We’re as on the defensive as we can get,” Marlin grated. He didn’t sound at all happy about this turn of events and I could reliably say, I knew exactly how he felt. Our girls may have had a couple three years separating their birth dates, but they might as well be twins for how alike they looked. Hope shifted where she leaned against the archway leading back to the Captain’s chair. The rest of us all sat at our hodgepodge war table.
“Galahad,” Cutter drawled and I looked up sharply, shaking my head.
“I have to earn that name back, Captain, but what would you have of me?”
Some of the guys around the table groaned and rolled their eyes. I gritted my teeth. Cutter hung his head and smiled, shaking it some.
“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that,” he said. “What I need is to know if you’re on board with the program. Think you can stay sober and out of self-destructionville long enough to see this through?”
“I do.”
“Look man,” Radar drawled, “We all know you’ve got way more food for thought than you should be able to handle right now… No man could handle the dose of reality you just got without going a little off the rails-“
“It’s fine, if I need to talk or deal, I’ll reach out, I promise. Just, what are we gonna do about this? We can’t have these assholes hanging over our heads forever. That’s no way for Faith and Charity to live, no matter how used to living on the edge or the fringe we are.”
“You ain’t lyin’,” Marlin stated, and I heard the ‘but’ coming. “But it comes with the territory when you get involved with an outlaw by citizen standards. If it ain’t this, something else’ll come along.”
“Yeah, but ‘something else’ usually involves just us, and not the women and children,” Atlas supplied.
“You aren’t wrong Atlas, and I’d like to see us get back to our regularly scheduled programming,” Cutter drawled.
“Never thought I’d miss the rum running and coyote days,” Pyro muttered.
“I’ll take illegal salvage and tomb raiding any day over this shit,” Atlas agreed.
“So what do we do about it?” Cutter asked and I could see the strategy behind it.
He was met by fierce stares from around the table, “We go on the offensive,” Radar said judiciously.
Cutter nodded, “Nothing, Marlin, you two are as invested in this as anybody, but seriously you need to stick with your women on this. Marlin, Faith is still too jittery and with good reason. Nothing, I think you and Charity have some things to work out and a little ways to go. Plus, if shit goes sideways I’d rather it not be our medically proficient brother who ends up shot, stabbed, blowed up, or worse; you feel me?”
“Like a virgin on her wedding night,” I said and didn’t bother to deny it. I kept up on my certs for a couple of reasons. One, because I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to paint houses for a living forever, and two, because a lot of the guys and their families couldn’t always afford health insurance. I filled the gap for them, and for some of the town. It just was what it was. It’d been a while since we’d done any covert immigration operations, but it was worth it to keep the certifications up for that, too.
At my core and in my bones, I helped people. No matter how bad I fucked up or how guilty I felt, no matter how bad my damage from that accident… I helped people. It was what I did.
“Operations like what the Russians are up to… they don’t die easy. They’re just going to keep comin’,” Lightning said grimly.
“Only way to kill it and kill it for good is to cut off the head of the snake,” Radar agreed.
“Well, the boys in New Orleans might just handle that for us. Ruth and the rest of the Voodoo Bastards are involved in the mightiest of turf wars over there, and by the looks of it, all things considered, they’re winning thanks to us.” Cutter said. “Now they’re doin’ it for themselves, so it ain’t like they’re going out of their way to do us no favors –“
“That doesn’t mean they won’t want somethin’ from us down the line,” Marlin said with all practicality. Cutter tapped his nose twice and pointed towards his second.
“What will we do if they want to collect on something they haven’t exactly earned?” Gator voiced, he’d been quiet up to this point, along with Beast and Stoker. I was curious myself about the Captain’s answer.
“Well fellas, I think it best we don’t borrow trouble afore it gets to our door, but it’s like anything else we take on. We vote on it. Of course, it’s hard to project what any of ‘em might want from a little outfit like ours and so far away. So it’s best we let sleeping dogs lie for now lest we get bit.”
“Captain’s right, deal with it when and if it comes to pass, and not before, but the Voodoo Bastards, like us, are an honorable lot as far as outlaws go.” Hope said from the wall.
“My Lady’s right. They may not be as honorable as the Sacred Hearts boys, but they did us some good turns-“
“Yeah, that aligned with their own self-interests,” Stoker muttered.
“Be that as it may, they helped us out plenty with that lawyer and getting Hope
outta jail, scot free and all. I think we legit have a friend in Ruth and his crew. I project the most they’ll want is to come to our neck of the woods for some R and R once the dust has settled in their neighborhood.”
“A good party, now that we can provide,” Pyro said with a grin.
A raucous cheer went up around the table and several of us had our faces split by smiles. Cutter rapped his gavel on the arm of his throne.
“Alright, alright! I guess on that note, our business here is concluded unless anyone else has any questions?” He waited but no one piped up. “Right, get your marching orders from your Sergeant at Arms and let’s get back to life as we know it for now. Go on, git.”
Cutter called the meeting with a few more raps of his gavel, and the guys got up, chairs scraping back and bodies dispersing to go do whatever it was that needed doing. I sat, lost inside my own head for a long time, before realizing not everyone had gone. Radar still sat at the table with me. I looked to my brother and sighed.
“A lot of things make sense now,” I said.
“Like?”
“Like you wanting me to get over Corrine. I thought it was just frustration on your part for the time dragging out… but it was more than that wasn’t it? You knew, didn’t you? Before anyone else.”
“Where do you think the pictures came from?” he asked with a sideways, self-deprecating smile.
“I figured, what I can’t figure is why you started looking into Corrine in the first place. What happened?”
“You sure you’re ready for the full story?” he asked.
“Truthfully? No, but there’s no real good time for things like this is there?
“I don’t know, Charity came along and made it the right time for a lot of things for you,” he said slyly and I felt embarrassment heat my face.
“It shouldn’t have had to come to that,” I uttered and Radar reached out a hand and squeezed my shoulder, giving me a shake.
“Bro, we all know how in love with that girl you were, and are. What she did doesn’t change that, and it certainly don’t change a damn thing about how you feel about your baby girl. We get how much the accident, them…” he groped for a word and I sighed.
“Dying, they died, man.”
“See, that’s my point. Two, three weeks ago, if any of us put it that way? You’d have flown off the handle. Charity’s changed things for you.”
“I don’t understand it,” I said grimly.
“What?”
“How a guy like me could be so lucky twice in one lifetime.”
Radar snorted, “Maybe because it’s a guy like you. When you going to stop torturing yourself long enough to realize that you’re a good guy, Nothing? Better ‘n over half of us motherfuckers. We’re the lucky assholes to have you watching our backs.”
We stared at each other and a chair creaked, we both looked over to the bar and Atlas leaning back in his high backed barstool in front of his and Radar’s laptop getup.
“Light show!” he declared grinning and Radar and I smiled and bowed our heads laughing.
“That son of a bitch is gonna get hit again one of these days,” he said.
“You and I both know it, and you and I both know I’d better be there if he does, except now, the lucky bastard has two of us to bring him back from death’s door.”
“She good?” Atlas asked from the bar.
“We saved this drowned kid last week on the beach. She’s really good. I have to say though, I think she’d make a better paramedic than a nurse,” I gave it a second thought, “Maybe an ER nurse, would do it, but she’s an adrenaline junky, like me. Paramedic would be better.”
“Trouble,” Radar said, nodding judiciously.
“Sounds like the Captain had her pegged from day one with that nickname.”
More like salvation for me… I thought to myself.
“How long until the light show?”
“Meh, a couple of hours by what the Doppler’s spewing.”
Radar nodded, he and Atlas were partners in the bounty hunting field and Atlas, in addition to having a thing for maps and tracking had a side thing for weather which worked out well for the Captain’s salvage outfit, and Marlin’s fishing gig. He picked up the handset to the ham radio on the bar and radioed out to the marina and its harbor master, imparting the information. Just one more reason the town loved us, too. Share and share alike. They got the latest and greatest on impending weather before the news stations could even get it out, and in return, when we put out a B.O.L.O. or a ‘Be On The Lookout’ on someone or for something, they came through for us.
Everyone liked to think the worst when it came to this town’s willingness to give us the information we desired, or the willingness to withhold information from outsiders. They liked to think we held this town in thrall, under our thumbs using fear and intimidation tactics. No one ever counted on how this town’s love ran deep for us, and no one damn sure counted on how deep our love ran for it. So it was, when it came to citizens and the outlaw life, and I and my brothers had a motto for that: Fuck ‘em.
“C’mon, boys. Let’s go see what the girls are up to, and watch Lightning get his ass fried.”
“Hey, he makes a killing on those things if he gets one.” Atlas pointed out.
“Yeah, if he gets one and when they finally sell, he does rake it in. Not like it’s consistent.”
I listened to my two brothers’ banter back and forth about a third as we headed out the door, and got on our bikes. We rode back to the Captain’s house, and I felt a growing excitement in the center of my chest. An effervescence I hadn’t felt in a really long time as my spirits lifted and I thought about seeing Charity again.
Second chances didn’t come along every day, and I learned my lesson last night. I wasn’t going to cast a blind eye or turn away from this one again. No way.
Chapter 29
Charity
I put on a bikini and slid a wrap around my hips and a light matching swimsuit cover-up onto my shoulders. My hair I threw into a haphazard messy bun, before I slipped down the back stairs down into the dining room. The club’s prospect, Trike, was in the kitchen, drinking greedily from a glass at the sink, a rifle leaning against the counter at his hip. It gave me pause at the bottom of the stairs.
I caught the corner of his eye because he turned to look, “Hey,” he said out of breath. I smiled and inclined my head, trying to act naturally in the face of the obvious, and larger than life gun. I hated guns.
“Hey, yourself. Everyone at the meeting?”
“Yup.”
“Left behind with the women and children, huh?”
He grinned, “Women, anyhow.”
“Seen my sister?” I asked.
He inclined his head to the closed water closet door and I smiled, “Ah.”
“Water?” he asked.
I shook my head, “No thanks, I was wondering if it was alright if I went outside.”
“How far?” he asked, and I felt a trickle of unease go down my spine.
“The hammock?” I asked.
“Sure,” he started, eyes sliding over me, “You’re not a prisoner, you know. I’m just set to make sure both of you are okay, and I’m only one guy. I was just gonna ask that if it was a walk you wanted to go on, that you wait for Faith.”
I felt my smile slip and surge back to life although a little more watered down than it had been the moment before, “I’m not used to all of this,” I murmured. He picked up his rifle and slung the strap over his shoulder.
“That makes two of us; it’s never been quite like this before, even when the Sacred Hearts girls were here.”
I shook my head, not understanding the reference, and a small grin flickered to life, “I don’t know what that means,” I admitted.
“Sacred Hearts are an outfit up north; they got into it with another club, extreme disrespect. The other club hurt one of their women. For their girls’ safety, they stayed down here for a while, while their men took care of business
.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Should you be telling me any of this?” I asked.
He flushed a deep red, and went to the sliding glass door, opening it up for me. I heard the toilet flush and the water run in the bathroom. I took the last two steps and drifted towards the portal to bright sunshine and fresh sea air. The door at my back opened and Faith stepped out.
“Probably not, but don’t tell on him, okay? I don’t want to see him get in trouble for things we aren’t going to ever repeat anyways.”
I held out a hand and Faith drifted up to me, I hugged my sister and she smiled, I smiled back and smiled at Trike.
“Who would I tell?” I asked.
“Exactly,” Faith said with a nod.
“Nothing, maybe. He is our secretary.” Trike shifted uncomfortably.
“What would I tell Nothing?” I asked mock-innocently.
“That I told you –“ Faith and I giggled and Trike stopped mid-sentence, understanding dawning on his face. “Oh! Right.” He said and stepped aside. We slipped past him into the bright warmth of the sun and I paused, letting the daystar warm me.
“You okay?” Faith asked and I nodded.
“A little stiff, a little sore. I was going to lounge out here in the hammock.”
“Sounds good. I could use some cuddle time with my favorite sister.”
“I’m telling Hope.”
“You better not!”
Trike grinned at our banter as we slipped across the patio and down the steps. He lit up a cigarette and perched on the low wall to one side of the stairs while Faith and I hung up our wraps and cover-ups on the hooks at either end of the chains holding the hammock up. It took some laughing and a couple of attempts for us to get into it right, and it spun and dumped us on our asses at least twice, but in the end it was worth it for us to lie side by side in the sun, Faith’s head tipped and resting on my shoulder, talking like we used to when we were kids and it was late but neither of us could sleep.
We raised our hands and traced each other’s matching tattoos on the insides of our wrists and giggled over memories. Finally we settled into staring into the blue sky and talking about the here and now.