by Monroe, Evie
“Well?” he said, coming over to me and crossing his arms, waiting for my explanation. He got right in my face so I had to look at him. He was known for being one calm fucker, but now, I could feel the anger coming off him in hot waves.
I shrugged. “Well what?”
He looked about ready to punch me himself. “What the fuck was that little display for? Answer me! You really want to bury the Cobras? Is that it?”
I shook my head.
“No? Are you sure, fucker?” He shoved me in the chest. “Because that’s what it looked like back there!”
I looked beyond him, and a couple of my other brothers—Hart, getting another beer, and Nix, just staring at me like he backed up Cullen’s every word and hated the hell out of me. Yeah, they were my brothers, but there was one thing that mattered more than brothers. The Cobras themselves. And I guess I’d just gone and shit all over them.
Not to mention, I’d promised Sasha I wouldn’t do what I’d just done. I said I wouldn’t let Viktor know that I knew Sasha.
But I couldn’t help it. I ran right into it. It was like I wanted to fuck that guy up so bad, I didn’t care who I had to hurt in order to do it. Sometimes my sense of justice got the better of me. And that guy needed to be put in his place.
But maybe I shouldn’t have been the one to do it.
What the fuck was wrong with me? The guy was an asshole. What was I . . . jealous that he he’d had a family with Sasha before me?
No, that was wrong. I didn’t want that.
Cullen dragged his hands down his face. “I’ve just spent the better part of a week getting that man up to speed on our business so that I could convince him that our club was worth fighting for. He’d finally agreed that we needed to make a move, and quick, and you just went and tore apart the whole fucking deal in one minute. Why?”
I hitched a shoulder. “Because—”
“Don’t.” He held up a hand. “Because whatever answer you have ain’t good enough. I don’t want to hear it.”
I closed my mouth and prepared myself for the rest of his wrath. Instead, he turned away and stalked about three steps before railing on me.
“You’re fuckin’ his girl, is that it? And you don’t like the fact that he got to her first, so you felt you needed to get your digs in. I hope you’re Goddamn happy. What a fucking waste.”
“Not a waste,” I murmured. “He was married to her. He abused her, the whole time they were married. He’s an ass—”
“I don’t fucking care if he killed her!” Cullen boomed; his eyes full of fire.
That, I never thought I’d hear Cullen say. I never thought I’d hear a Cobra say that. We didn’t work that way. “Fine. If that’s the way you feel. But I do care. And I know what’s right.”
He shook his head and a small, ironic smile came over his face. “Good for you. But you don’t let it get in front of Cobra business. I don’t fucking care if he mass-murdered a thousand women. None of that concerns me, Zain. What does? The Fury, and they’re breathing down our necks worse than ever. We had a way of getting out without killing ourselves in the process. He was it. And now he’s gone.”
I looked over at Nix, who was hanging his head. Not interceding meant he agreed with Cullen. Scanning the other faces of the men, not a single one looked at me. Their silence felt like condemnation.
Maybe I had no one on my side in this.
“Sometimes I think you’re still working for the Fury,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Sometimes I think you forget what they did to you.”
That was wrong. I remembered. I remembered all those months of watching my back, waiting for them to strike, after I’d told them I was done. But I’d deal with it all for the rest of my life rather than fight next to Viktor Kotov.
I didn’t care. Right is right. If the Cobras died doing what was right, at least we wouldn’t die next to a total scumbag.
“And asshole or not, you will work with him. If I manage to get him back, which I don’t even know if it’s possible right now.”
I thrust my hands into the pockets of my jeans and averted my eyes, ignoring him.
That pissed him off. “You hear me, Zain? In fact, I want you to go and get him back yourself. It’s the least you can do for us. Get on your motherfuckin’ knees and beg him if you have to. Suck his fuckin’ dick. I don’t care. I want him on our side. You got that? Or else you’re out of this club.”
My eyes snapped to his. He couldn’t be serious.
He wanted me to go down on my hands and knees in front of Viktor? Suck his dick? Show him what a pussy we were?
Fuck that.
Viktor would just love that. Relish it. He was all for blatant displays of power. I hated that son of a bitch. And no one ever told me to bend over and take anything.
I’d never directly disobeyed an order from my president. But this was one I couldn’t carry out. No fucking way.
“Then I guess I’m out,” I said coolly, grabbing my helmet and striding to the exit, as something occurred to me.
Viktor was gone. I’d assumed he’d gone to tell his bosses in Russia to end the contract with the Cobras. But . . . more likely . . . what if he’d gone to find Sasha?
Fuck. After what I said, of course, that was where he’d gone. He’d never let her escape after that. And I’d told myself I’d protect her. What the fuck was I doing?
I broke into a run as I headed for the door. I could feel their eyes following me as I pulled open the door and escaped into the light of day. I knew at least one of them would try to stop me, and I was right. A second after I straddled my bike, Nix appeared. “Whoa. Zain. You can’t do this.”
I fixed my helmet on over my head. “Yeah, I can. And I’ve got to go.”
He gave me an incredulous look. “Wait. Don’t.”
“I’ve got somewhere to be. And I can go, Nix. I don’t even feel a little bit of remorse because I know it’s right. That asshole isn’t worth it, and I won’t be on the same side as him. I don’t care what Cullen says. I’m done.”
“You’re doing this for a girl?” He gave me an incredulous look and put his hands on my handlebars to stop me.
“Pardon me, but I think every fucking one of you went a little batshit crazy over some woman. Remember Liv? One would think you’d understand.”
Right then, he was probably thinking about his girlfriend. He’d found her in the trunk of a car we boosted and holed her up in his apartment to keep her safe from the Fury, against our better judgment. She was pregnant now, due to give birth to his first kid at any moment.
“Maybe we did. But we didn’t step out on the Cobras. No woman comes before your brothers.”
“Right. Because your brothers had your back. I’ve had all of your backs, all the fucking time, because I, more than anyone, know what the Fury can do. It’s mostly my fault they’re on our asses. But you’re refusing to have mine when I need you.” I got ready to turn on the ignition. “So I’m out.”
“Zain—”
I didn’t give him a chance to say more. All I could think was that Viktor must’ve gotten to Sasha by now, and whatever he had to say to her wouldn’t be good. I gunned the engine and tore out of the parking lot to find Sasha.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sasha
The living room of my apartment over the Chow Fun Chinese restaurant looked out onto the main road of Aveline Bay’s old downtown. Ever since they built the freeway that bypassed this place, it got very little traffic. Across the street was an old vacuum cleaner store. It had probably closed down twenty years ago, the storefront windows soaped up with a crooked and yellowed AVAILABLE sign. Homeless people sometimes walked up and down the street, panhandling, but it was pretty quiet, except for the occasional motorcycle engine or eighteen-wheeler’s air horn blasting through the air from the freeway.
I heard another motorcycle engine as Alena and I were sprawled on the once-tan, now-pink-splotched living room carpet, playing Chutes and Ladders. She was pouting because
she’d gotten the long chute that took her nearly to the start of the game.
“Do-over,” I said to her as I jumped up from crisscross applesauce and crossed to the window. “I didn’t see it. You can spin again.”
Normally, this would be a good time to teach her about the merits of being a gracious loser, but after a long day at work, I was too tired.
I didn’t have to tell her twice. Excitedly, she flicked the spinner again and continued on her way as I tented the blinds to peer out.
While at work, I’d thought all day about the man on the motorcycle I’d seen while playing with Alena at the playground. It’d distracted me from putting my best foot forward, and Marina had been in such an epically bitchy mood that I’d gotten more than a few dirty looks from her.
I knew that Zain’s club had enemies, and just by associating with him, I might be opening myself and Alena up to dangers. When I saw that man this morning, I had to wonder, would they come after me out of spite because of him?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I looked out the front window and saw Zain pulling to the curb on his bike. He yanked off his helmet and strode toward the staircase at the side of the building. A second later, I heard his heavy boots on the cement steps.
I turned to see Alena clapping her hands. “Look, Mommy! I won.”
Sure enough, her marker was at the top of the board. “Oh, good!” I said, giving her a hug.
When Alena had asked whether my friend was coming over tonight, I’d been happy to say no. I didn’t want her to see me getting too close to any man too soon. But after that strange man I’d seen in the morning, I was relieved to have Zain here.
When he knocked, Alena sprang up to answer the door. She pulled it open and let out a bright, “Oh, hi!” hanging on the doorknob, giving him her best eyelash bat.
“How ya doing?” he said to her. “Fist bump?”
She gave him one as I came up behind her. I kissed the top of her head as she said, “Look. Mommy, it’s your friend.”
His eyes were hot on mine. It made my heart do a little flutter. “So it is. Nice to see you, Zain.”
“We were just playing Chutes and Ladders,” Alena continued excitedly. Zain must’ve graduated to her favorite people list, because she was either completely bashful and unwilling to say two words to grown-ups she didn’t like, or she couldn’t shut up around those she loved. There was no in between. “Wanna play with us?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Haven’t played in years, so you might have to teach me.”
“I will,” she said excitedly. “Come on. It’s not that hard.”
I led him into the living room, and he looked over the game as we all crouched around the game board. We played, the two adults of the group mostly silent, since Alena filled all the gaps in the conversation with rules of game play, observations about life, and a thousand questions for our guest. “What’s your favorite animal?” she asked him. “Mine’s a dolphin.”
His gorgeous eyes lit up. “Dolphins are cool. Yeah. I guess they’re my favorite, too.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Blue,” he said.
Her jaw dropped. “That’s mine!”
“No way. Fist bump.”
She excitedly reached across the board to comply. “It’s like we’re twins!”
When we finished our third game, I told Alena to go in her room and play with her princess coloring books and let me talk to our guest alone. As she scampered off, I caught him watching her, a hint of a smile on his face.
“She’s a good kid,” he said.
“I know. Why did you come here?” I asked him.
He smirked. “What, you’re not happy to see me?”
“It’s not that. I could just tell by the look on your face that something was wrong. Did it have to do with Viktor? Did you see him?”
His mouth curled down and he nodded. “Yeah. I did. Unfortunately. And he might know about us.”
My blood ran cold. “Wait. What? How?”
His strong face turned just about as sheepish as it possibly could look. “I . . . might have told him.”
My jaw dropped. “What? You promised you—”
“I know. But I’ll keep you safe.”
“That’s not the point!” I shouted, throwing up my arms. “I didn’t want this complication in my life!”
“I get it. And I’m sorry.”
I probably should’ve been angrier than I actually was. Maybe because I’d never heard Viktor apologize to me for anything. “Are you really?”
“Of course. But he knows he can’t mess with me. I promise he won’t ever hurt you again.” He went to the window and peered out. “That’s why I came here. I thought he might be here.”
“Oh, he will. Probably. When he’s had enough vodka to kill a horse.” I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, God.”
Zain came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”
I shook him away. “You don’t get it. You just being here is a problem. He’s never laid a finger on me, but I can’t put it past him to degrade me in front of Alena and cause a big scene. If you’re gone, he’s more likely to talk calmly.”
“You really think he would?”
I swallowed. No. He’d gone ballistic just thinking I was fucking around with people. If anything could get him to push past his self-imposed limits and lay a finger on me, finding out Zain and I were lovers might be it. “I don’t know.”
“You really want me to leave?”
“Yes,” I said, but instantly regretted it. That was the last thing I wanted. Right now, every fiber of my being wanted him here. “No. I don’t know.”
“Make up your mind. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I reached for his hand and tilted his knuckles to the light. I’d seen the purple bruises there before, while he was playing the game, but I didn’t say anything then.
“Did you fight him?”
He nodded.
“And?”
He shrugged, looking smug. “He looks worse than I do.”
I let out a sigh. “No. Wipe that look off your face, Zain. He may not be the best person on earth but he’s that little girl’s father!” I pointed down the hall. “They may not have the best relationship on earth, but they do love each other. And if you hurt him, you’ll hurt all of us, too. We may be divorced, but because of Alena he’ll always be family.”
“He abused you, Sasha. Maybe not with his fists but with his words, which can be worse. If you think I can just sit back and let him—”
“Yes. That’s what you were supposed to do! It’s not your job to save me! I did that myself when I filed for divorce! I can fight my own battles!” I shouted at him, jumping up. “And if—”
“Mommy?”
The fragile voice stopped me cold. I swiveled and saw Alena was standing in the doorway, in her little pink tutu and her scabby knees, watching me with saucer-sized eyes. I’d left Viktor for this very reason. Because I didn’t want to subject her to this kind of incessant shouting. Not from me; I was always too afraid to quarrel with him and tell him what I wanted. But Viktor always raised his voice, all the time. And now here I was, shouting at Zain.
God, I must be the worst mother ever.
“Hi, honey. Everything’s okay,” I said, glaring at Zain as I walked over to her. I grabbed her hand and led her back toward her bedroom at the back of the apartment. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you all dressed in your nightgown and ready for bed.”
I closed the door and helped her slip on her Ariel nightgown as she stood on top of her bed. “Why were you yelling at that nice man, Mommy?” she asked me.
“I wasn’t yelling.”
“Yes, you were.”
I sighed. “I know, all right, I was. But it’s not anything to be concerned about. Like I told you. Grown-ups sometimes disagree. But it wasn’t anything for me to get worked up over. I was being silly.”
She nodded, too much in agreement.
As I handed it to her, I saw his face in the mirror. “I’m sensing a running princess theme,” he noted as his eye swept over the Little Mermaid shower curtain.
“You figured that out just now?” I muttered to him, laughing as she finished spitting into the sink. I motioned to her to use the potty and closed the door, which left Zain and I out in the hallway.
He said, “I get it, you can—”
I held up a hand. “Don’t. Stop. Whatever you say, you’re going to start me yelling again. And I promised I wouldn’t do that in front of her.”
As the toilet flushed, I pasted that happy smile on my face. She opened the door and eyed me suspiciously. She may have been only four, but she clearly wasn’t an idiot.
“Come on,” I said to her, as she ran ahead of me and jumped into bed. I pulled the covers up over her, still smiling that goofy smile of hers.
From the look on her face, she definitely didn’t buy it.
I ignored it and kissed her forehead.
She looked from between us and said, “You two better make up. My teacher says that even when you don’t agree, you should shake hands and make up.”
Zain let out a little chuckle and offered me his hand. I shook it, reluctant at first. “Happy?”
She nodded triumphantly.
I settled her into bed and pulled her covers up to her chin. “Good night,” I said to her, turning on her nightlight as she hugged Zain tight. I flipped off the light switch and blew her a last kiss good night.
Zain followed me into the living room, and I turned to face him. “What exactly did you tell Viktor?”
“I told him I knew you. And that was all. It was enough. It threw him into a fucking fit,” he said with a shrug. “After we fought, he said he wasn’t going to help our club and he stormed out.”