by Noir, Stella
That night that seemed like years ago now, when he came into my room and told me he was sorry and would do everything he could to get me out of here. I knew it was silly of me to put any faith in those words, but I had at least hoped there was some truth to them. The longer I was in that room, though, the more I wondered if I was ever going to see that Jake again. When I would hear the door open I knew that I would either be tied to the bed or a door or a chair and I would be paddled and slapped and punished. He had an array of gynecological instruments he would insert into whichever hole suited him on a regular basis and other times he would have me sit on that odd stool in the corner of the room while he fucked my mouth and made me pleasure myself. But no matter what he did, it always seemed like it was intended to produce equal parts of pain and humiliation in me.
In truth, I derived sexual pleasure from quite a few of the things he did to me, and it became easier for me to admit to myself as the days went on. It’s just that, without any kindness or warmth or affection, only force and intimidation, it left me feeling incredibly cold and hollow every time. He would have his way with me until he was finished and would then tell me to make myself come and I didn’t have any problem doing that at all. I was usually ready for the release by then, but that’s all it was really, a release of tension and energy. He seemed to want to watch me have an orgasm but was not even remotely interested in bringing it about himself, usually telling me right before he turned and walked out the door that I was filthy and disgusting and that I should be happy he was letting me come at all.
Every day I ate all of my meals in my bedroom alone, with breakfast always coming in after my first session of the day, but today I was startled to find my breakfast already in the room after my bath. I got dressed and went to the table where my food was always laid out and went ahead and ate, hoping that this wasn’t another one of his tests that would lead to even more severe punishment. I finished everything and sat down in one of the chairs in the room and waited for the inevitable.
Eventually, Jake came into the room looking more crazed than I had ever seen him. He didn’t look at me at all when he ordered me down on the floor in front of the bed and I could tell that something was different. I was sure that I was going to be punished somehow, so by the time I knelt down in front of him I was shaking. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head up so that I was forced to look into his eyes.
“You may think you’ve experienced pain, Abby, but you don’t even know the meaning of the word yet,” he said, grimacing as he gripped my hair even tighter. His voice was still even but sounded louder and more menacing than it ever had before.
“Jake! Please!” I yelled, bracing myself for whatever was coming. He threw me down onto the ground and laughed, but he seemed to be looking at something in the large mirror.
“Jake? You really don’t you get it yet, do you, Abby? I didn’t think you could possibly be that stupid, but I guess you are. I’m not Jake, Abby. Do you know where Jake is? He’s over there, hiding behind that glass wall and watching everything that goes on in here,” he said with wild eyes as he stalked across the room to a small picture that was hanging on the wall adjacent to the mirror. It opened on a hinge like a small door and behind the painting was a panel of switches that he used to control the lighting. He flipped one switch and the lights dimmed in the bedroom. He flipped another and a light went on in a room behind the mirror, illuminating everything inside. I gasped when I saw another Jake standing with his head hanging down and his hands pressed against the glass. I couldn’t even comprehend what was going on and could barely breathe as I uttered his name out loud. He didn’t look at me or respond in any way and I just sat there on the floor, staring at him in complete silence.
This can’t be real. There can’t actually be two Jakes. I thought as I pulled myself against the bed and leaned on it for support.
“I honestly thought you knew, Abby,” the doctor said as he chuckled and rubbed his forehead like he was just as surprised as I was. “I mean, I realize we’re identical twins, but are you really that gullible? I really thought there would have to have been something along the way to tip you off, like a touch…or a scent…or maybe a difference in the taste of our cum. Oh wait…that’s right…you couldn’t possibly have ever tasted Jake’s cum since he’s never been able to get it up when he’s been anywhere near you.”
I pried my eyes away from the image of Jake behind the glass wall and slowly turned to look at his exact twin who was now towering over me with that horrible smile that he always had plastered on his face.
“Who the hell are you?” I asked, clawing at the bed as I rose to my feet.
“I’m Jeffrey…Jake’s brother, of course. I guess I’m not too surprised he never mentioned me, taking into consideration the arrangement we’ve had most of our lives.”
“Brother? Jake’s brother? Wait, what arrangement?” I looked at Jake with pleading eyes, hoping that would somehow extract the information from him that I wanted, but he remained in the same position with his head hung down and his fists up against the window, like a stone statue or a column that was holding up a building. He hadn’t moved at all, but I swore I could see him shaking with anger that almost seemed like it was emanating from him in waves. I looked back at his brother, Jeffrey, who was still smiling that creepy, smirky smile, with those same cold, calculating eyes that had scared the hell out of me for weeks now. And it was then that I realized that these horrible, evil eyes were nothing like Jake’s.
How could I not have noticed? How could I have thought that those were Jake’s eyes? That this man could possibly be Jake?
I tried to back away from him as the realization came crashing down on me what an incredible fool I had been. Yes, his eyes were similar to Jake’s, but there was no mistaking that shallow coldness now. I felt the walls start to close in on me again as I tried to comprehend what had been going on.
“What arrangement do my brother and I have? Well, I guess you could say that we take turns…”
“Jeffrey!”
A warning voice came loud and clear into the room from behind the glass but Jake had still not looked up.
“What? Are you afraid I’m going to let the cat out of the bag, Jacob? Did you really think you had a way out of this without Abby finding out? I guess I could kill her and she then would never find out. But then how would I continue to torture you day in and day out by fucking the woman you love but could never fuck yourself?” he asked in a mocking voice. It was like he was poking a lion in a cage now, but why didn’t Jake fight back?
“Jeffrey stop this! You have to stop this, now!” he growled but still didn’t look up at his brother. I could tell that they were both about to explode with anger and but I didn’t understand why Jeffrey seemed to have so much power over Jake. I didn’t understand why Jake didn’t just make Jeffrey stop.
“You want me to stop, Jacob? I’m not sure that would be fair to Abby, though. I think she deserves to find out what a pathetic excuse for a man you really are.”
“Jeffrey, I’m warning you!”
Jake looked up at Jeffrey and glared at him through the window. He wouldn’t look over at me at all. He just stared at his brother with a look of pure hatred.
I watched them yell at each other for what felt like an eternity, while I waited for a chance to run out of the room, then find my way out of the house and down that long snow covered road so I could finally get away from all of this insanity. I was relieved that Jake wasn’t as much of a lunatic as I had previously thought, but I didn’t know how much better this new information was. He was still obviously disturbed, but looking at him behind that glass filled me with some kind of crazy relief and I knew, even after all that I had just witnessed, I still wasn’t over him.
“Do you really think she’s going to want you now? Do you think you still have a chance with her after she finds out what you’ve been doing to her for months? How you’ve been tricking her? And how you can only watch…”
“Jeffrey! Stop!”
I jumped as Jake pounded on the glass, shaking the entire wall, his eyes filled with rage.
“…but you can’t actually do anything.”
Jake was visibly shaking as he stared at his brother with his fists pressed against the window. I looked back at Jeffrey, who was still standing too close to me to chance making a run for the door so I waited, hoping I wouldn’t get caught in the middle of what was about to happen. The amusement in Jeffrey’s eyes was horrifying as he looked back at Jake, and he seemed like he was about to burst into laughter from what was coming out of his mouth next.
“What do you think she’ll do…when she finds out…Jacob?” he said in a calm, mocking tone. “What do you think she’ll think of you? Do you think she’ll have any sympathy for you at all when she finds out that you’ve never actually fucked her?”
“Jeffrey, you are going to regret this!” He pounded again, the glass wall sounding like it could crack at any second and come crashing down on him.
“What do you think she’s going to do when she finds out that you can’t get your dick up…”
“JEFFREY!” he screamed as he picked up a chair on the other side of the glass.
“…unless you’re watching your own brother fuck the woman you love,” he said with a big, evil grin that turned into a maniacal laugh as he watched his brother behind the glass cage. Jake looked like an animal as he continued to scream Jeffrey’s name, then stepped back and swung the chair at the glass wall, sending it crashing through and into the room where Jeffrey and I stood.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as I jumped back to avoid the shower of glass shards that came raining down around the room. Jeffrey, standing next to me and laughing uncontrollably, and Jake walking over the broken pieces of glass that were spread across the floor. He picked his brother up by the shirt and threw him against the wall behind him.
Jeffrey fell to the ground and Jake pounced on him, pummeling his face with a barrage of left and right hooks that would have put down a heavyweight fighter. I watched as the rage that I had seen in Jake’s eyes, from whatever had gone on between the two of them throughout their lives, flowed out of his fists and found it’s resting place on his brother’s face. Although I was still in total shock I realized that this was my opportunity to get away from these lunatics, so I tip-toed through the pieces of glass that had spread across the floor and made my way to the door of the room. I opened it just enough so that I could slip through and when I looked back one last time I saw Jeffrey’s face as Jake held him by the neck, choking the life out of him. And Jeffrey was still laughing.
Chapter 10
Abby
I quietly shut the door behind me and crept out into a long hall with nothing but closed doors and darkness in both directions. I walked to the right and passed two doors, one on either side of the hallway, then decided to try the third. Even though I was terrified of running into that nurse I had to find a way out.
I slowly turned an antique brass knob and opened the door into a dark room, then quickly jumped in and shut it behind me. I listened through the door for a minute and heard a creak outside in the hall but I didn’t know if it was Jake or Jeffrey and wasn’t sure if I trusted Jake or not, so I stayed quiet until the sound had passed.
I turned and looked around the room as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It looked like another bedroom, but not nearly as ornately furnished as the one I had just been held in. I noticed that there was light coming through an open door across the room and I walked over to it to see if I could hear anything on the other side. I waited for a minute or two, then slowly and silently pushed the door the rest of the way open. Light spilled over me and into the dark room I stood in as the door opened. When I saw that no one was in the room I went inside.
It was another bathroom that was somewhat similar to the one in my room, only not quite as elaborately decorated. It had the same sparkly marble floor and counter, with more subdued lighting, but was twice the size of my bathroom and, from what I could tell, it looked like it belonged to a couple. There were two of everything spread throughout the room: two enormous sunken bathtubs, two toilets, and two dressing lounge chairs. There were also two sinks set into the long, gold-flecked counter that ran across one entire wall. Next to each sink sat an array of teeny bottles and jars that appeared to double when reflected in another enormous mirror that, I hoped, had no one watching me behind it. As I walked past, I glanced at the counter and picked up a fancy little jar that I had seen in a magazine somewhere for over two thousand dollars. I laughed at the thought of Jake’s brother spending so much on skin care, especially when he was holed up here out in the middle of nowhere.
I walked through another door that led to yet another bedroom. This bedroom had a dim light in the corner but the main light in the room came from a series of monitors set up in the center of the opposite wall.
I moved closer to the stack of monitors and realized that I was looking at the bedroom I had just been held in, as well as a few other rooms in the hospital section of the house where I had woken up when I first found myself here.
I knew he’d been watching me, I thought as I looked to see where each monitor was set up and fumed when I saw one in the ornate bathroom I had been using this last week. On one of the monitors, I saw Jeffrey laying on the ground near the door of the room, but he wasn’t moving and Jake wasn’t in there with him. I didn’t know if Jake had killed his brother or not, but I was glad to see that Jeffrey was the one that was unconscious.
I didn’t know what I was feeling for Jake. I wanted to believe that he was good at heart, and still deserved the benefit of the doubt, but I was so overwhelmed with everything that had just happened that I could barely think straight. Old memories were blending in with everything that had gone on over the last couple of weeks and I just needed to get out of there so I could think clearly.
I walked back through the double bathroom and back into the other bedroom and found Jake standing in the middle of the room. He didn’t move or speak, he just looked at me for a moment with incredibly sad eyes, then quickly looked away. I didn’t know what to do or say. I wanted to run up to him and throw my arms around him, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about everything his brother had said, and done. And Jake had let him. Jake had watched.
He had clearly been crying and his shoulders were hunched over like he didn’t have a shred of energy or dignity left in his whole body.
Chapter 11
Jake
I knew Abby had left the room even before I set out to kill my brother. No matter what was going on around me or how far I had let things get out of control I still thought about her every second of the day and could feel her presence leave the room soon after I started to throttle Jeffrey. He had done me a huge favor by laughing in my face while I had my hands around his neck and as I increased my grip on him I felt his body go limp. I hated him with every fiber of my being, and watching that smile fade from his face into a far away look of terror gave me more pleasure than I could imagine, until the moment when I realized who it was that I really hated, and I let him go. I had been the one that had let all this insanity go on for so long. I was the one that had always been to afraid to stop him. But I could never really figure out what it was exactly that I was afraid of. I knew he was capable of killing, but that wasn’t it. I would have welcomed death over having him tell Abby how pathetic I was.
It was almost like I was trapped in my own fear. I didn’t know how to change myself, how to fix my problems, and he was always right there to offer up a solution. But I didn’t want any part of it after I met Abby. Twice. Twice I let him take over for me when I knew I couldn’t give her what she wanted, but after that, I told him I wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t want to do that to her. But then once I came back to this house it felt like everything spiraled out of control. I felt paralyzed and terrified like I had when I was a kid. But it wasn’t Jeffrey that I hated. It was me, for letting everything go way
too far.
When I let go of his body, Jeffrey’s head fell to the side, but I could still see his chest moving up and down. I was more concerned with finding Abby and making sure that she was ok, so I left him there. I knew I could never gain her trust back after everything I had let happen, but I had to help her get out of this goddamned house.
I looked out into the hall and didn’t see any sign of her, so I turned to the right and went to the elevator at the end of the hall. I checked to see what floor it was stopped at and realized that she had to be in one of the rooms on this floor since the arrow was still pointing at four. I made my way back towards the room where I had left Jeffrey and figured he must still be lying on the floor since I hadn’t seen him come down the hall. I quietly opened doors and whispered Abby’s name, but I wasn’t sure she would even want to see me. When I opened the door to my old bedroom I noticed a light streaming in from the adjoining bathroom. I wasn’t sure she was in there but I as I stood quietly and waited I heard a jar being gently set down on the counter and I knew it had to be her. No one else was in the house.
There was a part of me that hoped Abby would just go out Jeffrey’s bedroom door into the hallway so I wouldn’t have to face her but also didn’t want her to run into him when she was alone. I had been a coward for far too long and I knew I had to face the one thing I was most afraid of right now, the look of hatred I knew would be in her eyes. As I started to walk across the room that I spent so much time in as a child, everything that happened to my brother and me flashed back before my eyes. The beatings and the torture and the loneliness. I wished I had never come back, that he hadn’t forced me to come back by bringing Abby here. I had told Jeffrey over and over that I was done with everything, that I just wanted to be free of him and this house and everything that it reminded me of. Everything in this room brought back memories of the pain and humiliation our father imposed on us for years, and as I looked around the room it all came flooding back.