by Anjela Day
I inhaled deeply feeling his stiffness fill me. It was more painful, than the first time. He was rough, and thrust inside of me. He pushed my head down harder, and pounded inside of me. It was painful, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, but I felt like the more I fought this man the more, he made me feel as if he enjoyed making me suffer.
I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to deal with the pain that he had forced upon me.
My mind went to Saint. His arms and the way he held me. The way he kissed me, and the night he made love to me. That night. I moaned in pleasure, thinking of the cabin. When we sat in front of the fire, and he allowed me to cry, a cry I'd held in so long. The way his hands caressed every inch of my body, and tender kisses, trailed my body. I let my mind escape to Saint's strong arms. The way he lifted me from that old beat down sofa, and delicately lied me on the floor. His touch was firm, but still gentle. I knew in that moment that he was the only man I wanted inside of me. “I've never had an orgasim” I told Saint, and he kissed me sweetly, as if to say to brace myself. He spread my legs, before taking his shirt off. He parted my lower lips, and I breathed a sigh of relief. His mouth was warm, as he his tongue slowly, caressed my jewel. I tried to contain myself. I grabbed at the bare skin carpet, not to loose myself. Playfully his tongue, twisted inside of me. The tip teased my center, and I felt my body ooze.
“You feel so good,” I moaned my hands running through his hair, as he eased his way on top of me.
“No,” I moaned pulling him closer. My heart racing and my body lifting to take his stiffness. I exhaled deeply not expecting the thickness he filled me with. I traced his spine, while his hips pressed against my lower body. He grind inside of me, and I felt as if I couldn't breath. My nails dug into his strong back, when his curved pipe rubbed against my walls. Tears fell from my face, when Saint looked up, and kissed my lips.
“I love you,” I said and I wondered if he heard me. He pulled away, the thin rosary,around his neck brushed against my breast. I gripped it in my hand pulling him back to my lips. We didn't kiss. Our lips just hoovered over each others, and I breathed in his breath. Still sweet from the Sour apple jolly ranchers he had to live off of.
That's was the place my mind was, as Johnathan, fucked me as if I belonged to him. He finished releasing his tight grip on me. “You feel better?” I asked grunting. I slipped out of my bra, and walked into the bathroom. I don't know what I had done to be punished, but whatever it was, it had to have been bad.
****
After I damn near scrubbed skin off, I redid my make up. I found a dress. Something that I'm sure a nun would approved of. It was still strapless, and sure to be a show stopper, but it wasn't how I saw myself dressed.
“You, look cute girl,” Cree said walking into my bedroom
“Anyone knock?” I snapped on her.
“Yeah I did you didn't answer so I came in. Sorry.” She said walking over to me. Cree looked beautiful. Her small slender frame looked flawless in a cream gown. Her soft brown eyes glowed, as she looked at me with them sadly.
“Whats wrong best friend?” She asked me. I guess I did look a little flushed.
“Who's all here?” I asked fixing my hair, before stepping into my shoes.
“I'm great lets go,” I said walking down stairs.
My house was full of people, I wasn't ready to see.
“He's not here,” Cree said as we walked into the room full of overly dressed people.
“Who?” I asked knowing just who she was talking about.
“There she is,” I heard from Johnathan's dirty mouth, and I hissed under my breath.
“Girl you know who.” Cree said smiling
“And if you don't want Mr tall dark, and rich over there I will take him. He can play doctor with me anytime. She joked at least I hopped it was a joke, I thought walking into the study.
“Drink Ms. Jade?” Carmen offered patting my hand. At times I felt as if she was truly the only person who new me.
“Yes.” I said taking the glass off of a gold tray, and downing it. I placed the glass back on the tray, and grabbed another.
“Hey beautiful, you look perfect. Johnathan said, and I cut my eyes at him.
“Don't think because my father likes you I have to. After this is over I never want to see you again.
I started to walk away, and he gripped my arm tightly, pulling me back.
“Your mouth is going to keep you in trouble. When we're married.” He said in that cold cocky tone. His hand brushed, against my face. His eyes looked at me kindly, but his words were so cold I couldn't help but to feel a little nervous.
“Hello Jade,” a woman said her voice thick, and raspy. I looked up at a beautiful black woman with shoulder length hair, and a very slender frame. While her frame was small everything else on her looked raised. From her cheek bones , to her breast. She just looked so unnatural to me. As if she was trying to hold on to a once flawless body.
“Hello,” I said to her walking towards the dinning room.
“You are almost as pretty as your mother.” She said catching me off guard. I spun on my heels to look at this woman speaking on my mother. “Do I know you?” I asked her face rather familiar.
“I'm Johnathan's mother.” She said and I was annoyed.
“Oh,” I dryly said
“How do you know my mother?” I asked, and she smiled a sweet smile.
“We were friends,” She said walking into my space. She was so close I could smell her perfume.
“Be careful my love.” She said and I paused.
“I always am.” I replied.
“No really, you think you know the men around you, you don't . Trust no one. She told me walking into the dinning room.
I had no idea what I was doing here. She was just a woman. I'd been with my fare share. Sex, and murder was what I was good at. I didn't have to think about things like that.
Jade made me think. She made me stress. I was worried that she wasn't safe.
I really found it odd that her father had fired me right after someone tried to kill her.
“She's out of your league,” I remind myself looking at the neatly wrapped Tiffany's box. I tossed it to the passenger side of my car, and walked to the door. I popped a piece of candy in my mouth. I rung the bell and waited to be let in.
“Good evening” The maid said holding the door open for me.
“Everyone is already at the dinning table.” She said walking me inside.
I could here talking, however it wasn't what I thought it would be, when I stepped into a room full of people.
“He's here,” I heard someone whisper followed by a laugh.
“Oh my God, Saint you made it. She said standing from the table, and running over to me.
“Jade.” The stuffy dude she was kicking it yelled out.
“Yeah, I was invited,” I said sternly.
“You were,” She said grabbing my hand. She walked me over to the seat beside her. Everyone was staring at her in disapproving Jade didn't care. She was smiling from ear to ear, and I felt bad, that I didn't have anything for her.
“And you are young man.” A older man asked.
I lifted my eye brow wondering if he really wanted me to reply.
“This is Saint, dad. Jade's former body guard. I guess he thought his services were still needed.” Ole boy said, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
“Nah bruh I got that, hints the suit I'm wearing I was invited.” I informed him glancing from Jade to the other guest.
“Anyone here for you?” I leaned in asking her. I'd noticed the five older men, two older women, and the younger girls that were cutting their eyes at Jade the entire time. A side from the young white boys looking down at their plates, no one else was Jades age.
“No,” She said underneath her breath.
“You wanna get out of here.” I asked not giving a fuck that anyone could hear me. Jade paused and looked around.
“I can't go,”she said, and I
just know I looked at her coldly. She sounded dumb I thought sliding down a little in the uncomfortable over priced chairs.
“Why, who here for you, destiny's child over there, They'll be alright.” I said , and all eyes were on me.
“Fuck yall looking at?” I thought to myself. I'm sure my face said it.
“Let's go!” I told her taking to my feet, and extending my hand so she could take it. My eyes roamed her face. She looked puzzled. Almost like she was trying to figure out how to work her feet.
“I think you should go young man.” The older woman seated at the table finally spoke.
“You want me to go Jay?” I asked her watching her chew on her bottom lip as if she was starving.
“Last time ma.” I said still holding my hand out.
“You need to go,” Ole boy said standing up trying to flex on me. I laughed looking down on that fool. The little white boys that surrounded him looked up, then back at there plates.
“Jay come on I'mma grow old waiting for yo hand.” I told her and she laughed. Then shook her head no.
“Just go Saint,” She paused, and looked down as if she had something to be ashamed of. I could see the whips on the back of her neck, and I felt my blood boil.
“Jay you safe with me,” I told her assuring her he couldn't hurt her.
“Please Saint.” She said her voice shaky, a tear fell from her face, and squatted down in front of her wiping the tears.
“I'm a phone call away. On my momma I'll pick up just call Jay.” I told her kissing the top of her head before I stood to my feet.
“Fuck yall looking at?” I finally asked.
“You heard her go!” Boy spoke up again. I had to laugh. I eased my way towards the door doubling back to stand in front of him. He flinched before I even lifted my hand.
“My nigga You blessed. I don't fuckin fight.” I told him leaning into him. I made sure not to touch one hair on his head, and I spoke so only he could hear.
“On Jesus, you put yo hands on her again, you going to need God to pull me off of you.” I calmly said standing back up. I turned to Jade, and winked before making my way out that house.
“Yo” I said into my phone, as I reclined my seat.
“Where you at bro?” Psych asked.
“On my way home,” I guess. I said starting my car when the car door opened.
It closed as fast as it opened, and Jay was sitting beside me. I couldn't help but to laugh.
“Hey,” She said, lightly.
“Hey beautiful, I said backing out of the drive way.
Jade
I sat at that table damn near in tears as soon as Saint walked out the door. He made me feel alive, and the moment he walked away I felt so alone.
“Jade, we need to talk!” Johnathan ordered. Walking over to my chair, and pulling it out. I exhaled deeply before standing up, and walking into the seating area. Before the doors closed he raised his hand, and slapped me.
“Are you crazy?” I asked him my hand lightly brushing my face.
“You knew my family was here and still you made a fool of me.” he said through gritted teeth.
“I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I had no idea he'd come.” I told him still rubbing my face.
“Well you did, my family and friends think you're a whore. I can't marry a whore. He said gripping my hair and pulling me to the floor.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked falling to my knees.
“Someone needs to teach you discipline.” He said unzipping his pants. I knew he didn't think I was putting that in my mouth. I thought reaching my hands out to take his stick, I mean twig in my hand. Soon as he released the tight grip he had on my hair I reached up and twisted his balls. He screamed like a bitch grabbing hold of himself.
“Your purse ms. Jade.” Carmen said, from out of no where. I didn't bother to look back, as I thanked her, and started to run.
My hands shaking as I made it to the end of the circle drive way. I was floored when I saw Saint laid back in his car. I just reached for the handle and exhaled when it opened.
“Hey” I spoke,easing into the car.
“Hey Beautiful,” he said ending his phone call and pulling off.
I was so embarrassed I didn't want to look at him, so I looked out the window.
I knew he'd see my face, but just not now I thought holding my tears in as I looked out the window at the night sky.
“You cold?” He asking adjusting the heat before I spoke.
“A little.” I admitted
“grab the wheel” he said. I did as I was told. Saint started taking off his suit jacket. Oh My God. Get you a man who can do both. Saint looked so good in that all black suit, and a collarless shirt. He handed me his jacket, then took the wheel back.
“Jay what are you doing?” He asked and I looked at him baffled.
“Why you with him?” He asked, and I didn't know what to tell him. I would sound shallow to say because my dad wants me to marry him to keep wealth in the family. A tear just dusted my face, and I didnt bother to catch it.
Saint I just want to be – I paused in my words. I didn't want to fall apart in front of this man.
“If you can just take me to a hotel to night I will be able to get myself together tomorrow. After the pageant I'm moving out. I said. I wasn't really talking to Saint I just said it loud enough for him to hear it.
“My dress,” I cried out realizing I hadn't finish paying on it, and after tonight I was sure my dad wouldn't. All I could do is hope that they cut me a check tomorrow.
“A hotel Jay,” He asked and I looked away. I slipped my hands under my legs. I always balled or moved my hands around when I was nervous. My hand hit something, and I lifted up to retrieve it. A Tiffany's box I knew this box oh to well. I loved shopping there.
I felt a tinge of jealousy creep over me. Who had he bought a gift for. I wondered.
“You never said happy birthday.” I said still looking at the box.
“Yeah I didn't get a chance.” He said
“Oh I said dryly.
“Yeah I wasn't expecting for you to take my breath away when I saw you.” He said holding his hand out for me to take it.
“What's this? I asked, not taking his hand.”
“Man nothing,” He said snatching it and tossing it in the back seat. I could tell I had up set him, but hell I was hurt. It was my birthday, and he had bought someone else a gift. By tossing it in the back seat he'd all but admitted it.
I crossed my arm over my chest, and laid my head on the window. I would have done anything to be with him, and he has a woman. I didn't even know I was crying.
“Fuck wrong Jade?” He asked wiping my face with the back of his hand.
“Nothing,” I told him
“Can we please go get a room I'm so sleepy, and I just want to lay down.
“We'll be there in a second.” Saint said, and I sank into my seat.
She needed me. Maybe that's why I was so drawn to her. I told myself trying to convince myself Ali was wrong. I wasn't in love with Jade. I couldn't be. I loved that she put up this big front to pretend she didn't need me. Although the truth was she needed me.
Maybe I needed her. Whatever the case was I was so happy that she was next to me.
I pulled the blanket over her body, and ran my fingers through her soft hair. Jade was just beautiful. Despite the fact that she was a spoiled pampered rich girl I'd never be good enough for. She was everything a man would want in a woman, and I didn't know I wanted it until I went without her.
I ignored her all last week, and I damn near lost my mind. The hoes I fucked with, weren't even worth fuckin. Jade was made for me.
“Hey,” she said turning over on my lap.
“You say that a lot,” I told her bending to kiss her forehead.
“Where are we?” She asked, and I didn't reply I just continued to stroke her hair.
“Oh my God what time is it?” She asked and I laughed.
“Jay lay down g
et some rest.” I finally told her
“Where are we?” my house.” I told her standing her up. I took her hand into mines. I lead her to my bed room. I fell backwards on the bed, then pulled Jade between my legs. I took my time unzipping her dress. My lips followed the trail of the zipper. She smelt sweet, like flowers.
“Saint” She moaned, and I felt my dick brick up. “Fuck Jay I'm really not what you want. You need a preppy nigga. One of them school boys.” I told her pushing her back.
“Why do you do that?” She said turning around , and crawling in between my legs.
“Do what?” I asked. Shit I was really confused I had no idea what I was doing.
“Nothing Saint, nothing at all.” She whined climbing over my leg, and lying in he bed.
“Wake me up about eight please.” she said still in her dress.