by Kahlen Aymes
Oh, God, would leaving him ever get any easier? I wondered. This was our life now. We’d be saying goodbye over and over again.
I swallowed the hard lump of emotion in my throat, turning to walk into the terminal.
As Nathan and I flew home, I thought about the meeting with my manager, agent and lawyer coming up tomorrow afternoon. This was probably a taste of what was coming. Suits, managers and meetings. I loved the actual acting, but the business stuff might get tedious. Maybe it was something about my trip. Maybe someone was upset. I could worry for hours and it wouldn’t change anything, so I pushed it from my mind.
I texted Cade when we landed eight hours later.
Touchdown. Don’t forget I love you.
I felt warm and giddy as I remembered our time together in London. I would miss him, but I was happy and solid with the fact that we loved each other. I wouldn’t let anything come between us. Nothing.
*****
When I got back, the promotion schedule for the film was waiting for me at home. The good news was we had the MTV Music Awards, and Cade would be coming to L.A. It was the first of our interviews together to promote the film. I can make it through two weeks.
As I unpacked, I daydreamed about my time with Cade. My heart expanded when I remembered his tender lovemaking. God… I can’t believe that I fought my feelings for so long. I must have been insane.
I called Jeanne when we landed, and she read me the riot act for hopping a plane to London, but said we’d discuss it in further detail at the meeting.
My phone brought me back to the present, as I threw my clothes in the laundry. It was Wendy. She wanted to shop and I used the MTV event as an excuse to agree. I didn’t really care about how I looked for the event, but Cade would be there, so I suddenly had a new interest in being stylish.
When she picked me up the following morning, she was giddy and talked non-stop about a party she’d been to the night before and all of the hot guys. She noticed that I wasn’t paying too much attention and gave me a quizzical look. I told myself to stop being such a rotten friend and to snap out of my daydreams.
We went to some of the most posh boutiques on Rodeo Drive and she was all too willing to give me fashion tips. The problem was, her taste in fashion and mine, were two different things.
The awards were during the day and would have a lot of tweens and teens there, so Wendy said I didn’t need the standard ‘red carpet’ type outfit. This being my first event, I didn’t have a clue what the ‘standard’ was for any of it. After trying on several different ones, I decided on some black silk Capri pants and a simple white top.
“What do you think Wendy? Trés Chic?” I giggled a little bit. Wendy assessed my outfit.
“Kinda boring, if you want to know the truth.” She raised her eyebrows and wrinkled her nose.
“I like it. It’s simple but still dressy enough.”
“What’s with you today? You’re positively un-Brook-like! Usually you don’t give a rat’s ass about what you’re wearing.” She rolled her eyes at me. Usually our shopping trips were all focused on her, so she was picking up on my new attitude.
“Yeah, well, I have a meeting with my suits tonight, and I’m sure they will be telling me to start caring.” I shrugged. “I have a bunch of promotion to do for this film,” I said casually. “We’ll all have some.”
I didn’t want her to know that I cared so much about my outfit because I would be seeing Cade. She inevitably asked if he would be joining me at the MTV awards. She always wanted to know what he was doing. When I confirmed that he’d be there, she mentioned she wanted to call him to ask if they could hang out while he was in town.
Ugh! I hated to hear her ramble, but would I love to be a fly on the wall during that call. Of course, he would be otherwise occupied while in L.A., so I smiled to myself and let it drop.
We spent the rest of the day wandering around, and grabbed a quick lunch at a salad bar at an organic grocery near my house. A couple of hours later, the Paparazzi began trailing us, and it was time to call it a day.
Wendy thrived on the photographers and reading about herself in the rag mags. Again it was new, but the one time with David was enough to tell me that I hated it. Ugh! I cared about my career, not the glam sham, but Cade was surrounded by the hype day-in and day-out. I didn’t know how he did it, and doubted I’d ever find it palatable.
When I got home, my mom was waiting. She was ready to go to the meeting with my agent, publicist, manager, and attorney, but I was dreading the entire thing.
We met them at a trendy bistro near my house where my manager had reserved a room in the back. “Wow, a private room. Either this is a real big deal, or I’m paying them way too much,” I said. I was over eighteen, but I needed my mother’s guidance.
“I think it’s a big deal, honey.” She threw me a somewhat disapproving look. “I’m sure it has to do with your little trip off to London last weekend, and also what’s in store during the next months to promote your film.”
“Yeah.” My parents weren’t too happy with me, and Nate, over the trip, either.
My stomach fluttered nervously. I was paying these people, but this felt like they were all ganging up on me.
The room was warm with Asian décor with deep red and gold tablecloths. The soft lighting was a sharp contrast to the brightness to the weather outside. I knew Jeanne picked the place because she used it for her other clients. It was notorious for keeping the press at bay, and we were less likely to be mobbed.
Ken, my agent, Joel, my attorney and Jeanne, my manager, were already waiting at the table. My publicist, Ruth, came in a couple of minutes after we got there. The restaurant management had placed some oriental screens on the south side to separate us from the rest of the room, which was weird, considering it was empty anyway.
“Hey,” I murmured as I took a seat across from them. My mother took the one to my right.
“Hello, Brook. Diane,” Jeanne said. “Can we get you something to drink before we start?”
“I’ll just have an iced tea, thank you,” I told the waiter, and then my mother ordered a gin and tonic. It was only four o’clock, so I raised my eyebrows at her and was repaid with a dirty look. She must be thinking it was going to be a fucking ordeal. I’d never seen her drink so early. I ran a nervous hand through my hair.
“So,” I started. “What’s this about?”
They all glanced at each other, and then Joel started the conversation.
“Brook, it’s our job to advise and protect your interests, so that is what this meeting is about,” he began.
“I’m listening,” I said and took a sip from the iced tea the waiter had just left, raised my eyes to look at them and waited.
Jeanne waited until the waiter retreated and then she said, “This is partly my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten you those tickets to London without asking what you were going for, so for that I apologize.”
I was getting flushed, the heat coming up in my face. “What I did in London is my business,” I said. “I don’t have to ask any of your permission to take a trip.” I couldn’t help but be defensive and angry. “You’re saying you’re sorry now, after you bitched at me on the phone? I don’t get it.”
Ken spoke up. “Brook, you’re under contract with Pinnacle,” he paused.
“That’s not news to me, Ken. So?”
My mom put a hand on my arm. “Brook, just hear them out. Relax.” I glared at her. So now she was on their side?
“There are clauses in your contract that state that you will not become involved personally with any of your co-stars,” Jeanne continued. “Clauses, I might add, that were put in place to protect you. You were a minor when you started filming, and we took all the necessary steps to ensure that you’d be protected.”
I was getting upset now. “Are you telling me that I can’t make friends or socialize with my cast?”
Joel interjected by placing a hand on my arm. “No, of course not, Brook. You can
socialize, but you are prohibited from becoming romantically involved with any of them.”
“What is this? The sixteenth century?” I laughed nervously. How did they already know? I wondered.
They all just looked at me with serious expressions on their faces and Joel took out a cigarette.
“What are the consequences? Are others under the same restrictions, or am I special?” I asked sarcastically. My inner-bitch was rearing its ugly head. I was really feeling uncomfortable as my hand automatically covered up the bracelet on my left wrist. Even though I was keeping it hidden, it still calmed my nerves to touch it.
“No, the entire cast has the same clause. There could be some legal ramifications for not only you, but for whomever you’d become involved with. These could include losing your fee, and future royalties, cancellation of the contract, or dismissal from any subsequent roles with the studio.” He puffed away on his cigarette.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “I see.” The ice in my mom’s glass clinked as she took a drink of her cocktail.
Ruth, my publicist spoke up next. “Brook, you really need to be more careful in the future, of everything. It’s all so critical to your image. What you say, where you go, who you spend time with, and how you handle yourself. I know it isn’t fair, but this is part of the business.” She handed me a photo.
The picture was of me, and Cade, as I struggled to get away from him at Harrington’s Pub last Saturday night. I was crying, and we both looked upset, his hands on both of my shoulders, as I pushed on his chest with both of mine. What was going on in the photo was pretty obvious. My heart lurched in my chest.
“Oh, God…” I closed my eyes.
“This picture was taken on a cell phone,” she continued. “With technology the way it is these days, you can’t be too careful. Thank goodness no others have surfaced and I’ve been able to shut this person up with some money, but we won’t always be this lucky. If Pinnacle got a hold of this, you’d be in a lot of trouble.” She pursed her lips. “So would Caden,” she added pointedly.
“I understand. But, this conversation is a little late! Why didn’t I know this before I went to Vancouver?”
“Well, you were with David, so we didn’t think it would be an issue.”
“Then why did you put it in the fucking contract?” I blasted back.
“It’s standard language when a minor is involved. The entire cast and crew are bound in those cases.”
“We’ve already decided to keep things a secret, won’t that be enough?” I could feel the tears prick the backs of my eyes. They all just stared at me.
Jeanne shoved the picture at me again. “Obviously not.”
“What are we supposed to do now?” I put my hand over my eyes as I struggled to swallow the tears. They all waited for me to continue, and I swallowed. “Have Cade’s people told him the same things?”
Jeanne spoke to this. “We don’t know. We thought it best just to keep it close to the cuff so we haven’t called them to find out. We felt the less people that know about this, the better. I’m sorry to point this out, but you two haven’t done a great job of keeping it a secret up to this point. So my guess is that yes, they’ll talk to him.”
“We only just realized our feelings. This sucks.” I shook my head in confusion.
Jeanne sighed. “Brook. It’s been obvious how the two of you feel. Everyone can see how you are drawn to each other, and it will only get worse as the promotion gears up.”
“Right, so?” I nodded in understanding. “I tried not to love him, I really did.” Thinking of the pull I always felt around him, my desire to be with him when he wasn’t around… this is damn impossible. I resented that I had to sit here and justify my feelings.
“Does it make any difference now that I’m no longer a minor and that the film is already in the can?” I asked.
“No. The contract was in place before you turned eighteen. It is binding, and written for the length of the promotional tour. As I mentioned, the entire cast is subject to this clause. Pinnacle also indicated that should more of the book series go into production, the same rules will apply for the remaining films. They feel it is possible a relationship between costars may hurt the box office receipts.”
“That’s dumb. Surely, two romantic leads involved for real will only help ticket sales?”
“No. Particularly, if you broke up before the series was completed. It could injure your working relationship, and the promotional obligations would suffer. Another consideration would be that fans wouldn’t ‘believe’ your love connection on screen if they thought you suffered a bad break-up in real life,” Joel answered. “It’s just better to keep it professional, and fans can let their imaginations carry them from the books into the films.”
“There is also the matter of all the little girls and women screaming for Cade. They all want to fantasize that they’ll end up with him, and that won’t be possible if he’s openly in a relationship with you,” Ruth interjected.
“Good God,” my mother sighed, and looked toward me. I took it all in, the skin on my cheeks began to burn. “This is a little ridiculous, isn’t it?”
“Unfortunately their concerns are valid. If the two of you did end your relationship and the publicity of your personal lives affected the box office take, they’d have grounds to sue both of you. If you blatantly disregard the confines of your contracts it could seriously damage the chances to work with any major studios in the future.” Joel’s face was stern and determined, but he sighed. “Any of them, Brook.”
God, why do all these people have to make it sound like they are talking about a cardboard cutout? I’m a person. I have a life and feelings. And Cade… I shuddered at what this would do to him.
It was like Ken read my mind when he spoke up next. “I know you probably feel that your career can handle the controversy, Brook, you’re you and just getting established so mostly, the contracts aside, the public would overlook it on your part. But, they may blame Cade. Surely, we don’t want to jeopardize his future,” he said softly.
Man, that was low. I was a rebel at heart, and I didn’t give a flying fuck about the production company or their silly-ass rules… for myself. But, he knew if I cared about Cade, then I would heed their words and warnings only too well.
My mother was rubbing my shoulders and I sighed.
“Look, this isn’t a fling. We’re in love with each other. How are we going to hide it for several months, or freaking years?” I cried.
Joel’s eyes widened, and Ken got up from his chair to pace around the room. Jeanne just looked pissed as she loomed over me. I’d known her the longest, and she always was very honest with me on all levels.
“We never planned this, it just happened.” I stopped and put my sunglasses back on my head, using them to push my hair off my face. Could this be any more unfair? My heart hurt and my head was pounding.
“Not flaunting it is one thing, but I can’t promise that either of us can hide how we feel, and I can’t speak for Cade. I do know I won’t stop seeing him…” I trailed off softly.
“Keeping it a secret we can work with.” Joel spoke again. “Brook, you’ll have to convince him to go along with it. Who else knows?” he asked.
“My brother, Gavin Sims and Cade’s friend; Daniel Mayfield, and probably Cade’s family. Jennifer Briggs indicated to me that she is aware of Cade’s feelings, but other members of the cast probably suspect as well, if what you said is true about the two of us being so obvious.” I leaned my head on my hand.
“Is that it?” Ruth persisted as she raised her eyebrows at me. “We have serious damage control to do, Brook, you need to tell me everyone that might suspect.”
I sighed. “Martin knows for sure. He warned Cade to keep his distance and remain professional after he saw our chemistry at the audition. David also mentioned a suspicion although I’ve never confirmed anything with him.”
“You and Cade are both actors, so you’ll just have to put on a damn good s
how. You should remain with David.” Jeanne began. “Do you think he’d agree to be a beard?”
A beard was a stupid term that the press and industry used when one relationship was used to disguise another. I interrupted her angrily. “Wait! I don’t want to use anyone! Is this some sort of game to you people? This is my life! Cade’s life!” I leaned forward toward them all. I was so pissed.
“I can’t put Cade through parading David around as if we’re together again. It would kill him, even if we were only pretending. He’s already endured all of that for months, and it’s not fair to David either. I don’t want to do that to either one of them,” I cried.
“Honey, they are just trying to protect you both,” Ruth answered. “You and Cade can still talk on the phone and sometimes we can arrange some meetings after the two camps take the necessary precautions. But the two of you cannot openly date or show affection in public. It’s okay to go to cast functions, but you are not allowed to act like a couple in any way.”
She sighed at the sadness obviously on my face. “Also, you’ll have to be careful of how you act when the two of you are together for promotion of the movie, and what you say at interviews. You’ll need to arrive at and leave from everything separately, and you can’t even hug him on the red carpets,” she said, her face showing her concern. I put my head in my hands fighting the tears.
“Are you serious?” I protested. “This isn’t fair.”
“I’m so sorry, Brooklyn. We’ll do what we can to help, and we’ll script you on what you can say when you promote the film.” Jeanne came to the chair on my left to sit next to me.
“Oh, God,” I breathed. “I’ve watched Cade for the past couple of years. He’s hugged or put his arm around his other costars. Why am I so different?”
Jeanne sighed. “As we’ve said, the chemistry you have with Cade is volatile. It’s palpable, evident for the entire world to see. You have to tone it down.”
“So, I can’t ever let my feelings show for him unless I’m on set being Julia.” The tears pricked my eyes as I shook my head. “I don’t know if that is even possible.” I wiped a tear away. I couldn’t have the paparazzi seeing me cry with my staff, because they’d know something was up.