by Bush, J. M.
I had been sick with stomach cancer, but Dr. Granger cured it and repaired all the damage the disease had caused inside of me. It was after that, when everything was back to normal, that he found the Countdown. I kept it all from you to spare your feelings. I didn’t want you to worry.
August stopped again and covered his face with his hands. She had kept it from him to spare his feelings… just like his granny had done… just like he had kept his worries and feelings from Sam the past few days. It was like God was punishing him for not being honest.
“Oh, so now I believe in God?” August asked himself sarcastically. “Now that I need someone to blame? I can’t believe this is happenin’. What am I going to do without you, Sam? I can’t… I just can’t…” He trailed off and read on.
I didn’t want you to worry. I know that sounds stupid, sweets. And I know that you’re probably cursing my name right about now. I hate that I’m doing to you what your granny did. It’s not my intention to make you go through that again. But it’s my death. My life. I didn’t want to spend the last few days of it laying around crying about our lost future. I wanted to spend those precious last few days making love to you, and reading on the couch with you, and having a picnic with you. Those memories will stay with me in Heaven forever.
August threw down the unfinished letter and paced the room. He was alone… utterly alone. Forever. She had left him. It wasn’t her fault, but that didn’t change anything. If August was being honest with himself, he could see why she did it this way. It was her choice; she was right about that. Her life, and her death. It didn’t make this hurt any less for him, though. He picked up the letter again.
Those memories will stay with me in Heaven forever. But Heaven might just have to wait. You don’t have to be alone, sweets. I’ve given you a choice. Inside the envelope are two boxes. One of them is my ashes. Take them and spread them wherever you travel, all over the world. Leave a part of me everywhere you go. Or you could choose the other box. It’s your SameSoul prototype. I’m in it.
August dropped the letter this time and dove for the envelope. He plunged his hand inside and pulled out a box containing his wife’s remains. He stared at it for a long minute, before kissing it and placing it on the dresser. “I love you, babe,” he whispered.
He reached back in and pulled out the other box; the SameSoul. The one he had thought lost or stolen for days. One of the reasons he had been in such a bad mood recently, and Samantha had it the whole time.
“Damn it, woman,” he muttered. August stared at the SameSoul and rolled it around in his hands. Then he picked up the letter to finish reading it.
I’m in it. If you want me to be with you for longer, just call Woodrow, and he’ll come. I’ve dressed him in a few of my old things. You know what to do from there. It’s your decision, sweets. I’ve given you a choice because you are my everything. I have loved you more than anyone has ever loved someone else. I’ve loved you more than scientifically or spiritually possible. I have loved you, August, my tinkerer, my life, my one and only. I still love you and will always love you. I’ll see you at some point soon; either through the eyes of an automaton or at the Pearly Gates waiting to embrace you. Goodbye, sweets.
And that was it. Nothing more. August had to decide whether to let her go to Heaven, which he knew she wanted, but he wasn’t even sure if it existed or not, or to put her into Woodrow, which would be selfish and was something he knew Samantha didn’t want.
How could he possibly make that choice? August took the box containing her ashes from the dresser and opened it. Inside was another sealed container, but this one was translucent. He could now see what remained of his wife.
“But those are only her physical remains,” he thought.
In his other hand was her essence. Her consciousness. He could talk to her right now. His wife was the only person who could make August feel better. August could tell her how much it hurt not to have her here. He wanted to tell Samantha how much he loved her right then.
“Woodrow! Woodrow,” he called out loudly. “Get in here! Woodrow!”
August immediately heard the sound of clacking wood coming down the hallway. It rattled like the unrolling of a wooden plank bridge.
Woodrow stepped into the room, and the sight initially made August laugh; until he remembered the significance of the wooden automaton’s appearance. Woodrow had on a baseball cap that August had given to Samantha a few years ago, which said, “Kiss the Cook” on it. The automaton was also wearing Samantha’s wedding and engagement rings on a chain around its neck. But most importantly, Woodrow wore a navy blue dress with white dots all over it.
The sight of that dress sent August into a fit of sobbing again, and he fell onto the bed; burying his face in Samantha’s pillow, breathing in the smell of her hair. It was faint, and August knew it would only grow weaker every single day. Soon, he would forget the distinct scent of his wife’s long black hair. His favorite fragrance in the world was now gone forever, and so he greedily inhaled the last remnants.
At that moment, August seemed to make up his mind. He grabbed the SameSoul and walked over to Woodrow. The automaton already knew what to do, and opened the port created for a BrainSave that would now house a much more advanced tech,; one that August had designed and built.
Woodrow reached out his wooden hand and took the little box from August. Without missing a beat, the automaton raised it’s hand and began to place the chip in the receiver port.
“I’m sorry,” August whimpered.
He then reached out lightning-fast, and slapped the SameSoul out of Woodrow’s hand, sending it flying across the room.
Chapter 25
LET GO
The SameSoul soared across the room, and August immediately chased after it, his face a mask of fear. Before it could collide with the ground and possibly damage the consciousness of the woman within, he cupped his hands around the small data module and delicately plucked it from the air.
A large sigh escaped his lips as he opened his hands and saw the undamaged box held there. Looking over at Woodrow, who was now walking towards August and the SameSoul, August realized the automaton wasn’t done trying to implant the device yet.
“Woodrow,” he said in warning, “back off now, buddy. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to install this just yet.”
“IN STALL,” the human-like wooden automaton wearing a navy blue dress, baseball cap, and necklace replied as it reached out for the SameSoul.
Woodrow tried to take the data box from August, but met resistance; August wouldn’t let go.
He couldn’t let go.
“Stop it now, Woodrow,” August ordered his creation. “I… I’m... I don’t think I can do it. She wouldn’t want this.”
This time, the automaton heeded the commands given to it by the sole remaining creator. Woodrow stopped trying to take the SameSoul. He turned around and trundled to the corner where he powered down, the port for the SameSoul still open and waiting.
August scooped up the box containing Samantha’s ashes from the dresser. He took only that and the vessel containing his wife’s consciousness with him as he left their home and locked it up, never planning on never returning, and took out his cell phone.
“Hello?” a voice weary with sleep said over the Montek.Communication line.
August glanced at the time and wondered why on Earth his old friend, and the Best Man at his wedding, was doing still asleep at this hour of the day.
“Bobby, hi. It’s August,” he replied into his cellphone.
Bobby Li cleared his throat and August heard the sound of a cigarette being lit. Some people still clung to bad habits, even in today’s medically advanced world.
“Dude. What’s up? I was sleeping real hard. Had a late gig last night, you know. Shitty tips, too. So, what’s happening, man? Haven’t talked to you in, like, four months.”
“Yeah, sorry about the lack of contact,” August said, trying his best to hold it together, but aud
ibly struggling.
“I wanted…”
he choked on his words and held back a full-blown wail, leaving him unable to speak for a moment.
“August, you ok?” Bobby asked, concern touching the edges of his tired voice. “What’s the matter?”
He seemed genuinely concerned, which wasn’t all that surprising. He may be a product of the modern world, but Bobby was a lot better than most people. It’s one of the reasons August had always stayed friends with him. No matter what, Bobby would always be there to help. He may be late,; he may be rude about it, but unlike most people alive today, he would never say no to a friend in need.
“It’s Sam,” August breathed quietly into the cellphone. “Bobby… she’s dead.”
“What? How? When?” Bobby asked all in a rush. “August, I’m so sorry. Where are you?”
August thought about telling him, so they could meet up somewhere. Seeing a friendly face might offer some comfort, and asking Bobby for this favor in person would be the polite thing to do. But honestly, August felt like he would never be happy again, and seeing Bobby at this point would only drag out the process, keeping Augusts in New Dothan longer than he wanted.
“Listen, Bobby… I need your help,” August said with difficulty. “I’m… I’m leavin’ town, and probably never comin’ back.”
Bobby was silent for a breath or two, before he said, “Ok, I get it, man. So, like now? Are you gone? Right now?”
“Yeah… as soon as I can,” August replied. “But… I can’t let go of our house, Bobbo. I need you to… take care of it for me. I don’t want you to live in it or nothin’… just go there a couple of times a month, you know? Maybe pay a cleanin’ service to keep it livable. Like I said, I’ll probably never come back, but nothin’ is ever guaranteed. I learned that today.”
Bobby blew out a long breath, probably along with a large cloud of cigarette smoke, and said, “Man, of course , I’ll help. But, I’m like, you know, barely making ends meet as it is right now. I can’t afford a cleaning service. Sorry, dude. I mean, I can clean it myself if you want me to, though.”
August shook his head, even though Bobby couldn’t see him. His hands were shaking, too, he realized. He sat down on the curb, realizing for the first time that he was probably in shock. With his injuries still very fresh, and the loss of his entire world, it was a reasonably certain condition.
“No man, I’ll take care of the Credit. I’ve sold somethin’ to Montek… somethin’ big. They paid me real well. If you keep up the house for me, I’ll drop enough Credit in your account to pay for the cleanin’ and for you to live on. Call it a goodbye present from an old friend. You won’t have to worry about makin’ ends meet anymore, man.”
Bobby was lost for words. He stumbled through a few unintelligible syllables several times before finally finding his voice as he replied, “August, I can’t take your Credit, man. I mean, unless you really want me to. I could use it.”
“It’s done,” August said, glad to have this taken care of. “I’ll set you up, brother. I love you, Bobbo. Thanks for helpin’ me out… it means the world to me. I’ll be in contact sometime to check in.”
“Hey, no worries,” Bobby Li replied. “And don’t thank me, I should be thanking you.” He paused on the line, and then in a heartbroken voice added, “I am sorry about Samantha. I’m sure you don’t wanna talk about it right now, but when you do… please call me, Auggie. Where are you going?”
August thought for a moment. He didn’t really care where he was going. The tickets were already booked to Shanghai for him, Woodrow, and Sam. Of course, there was no way August was taking Woodrow now. He would just have to travel alone.
“Yeah, you’re right:; I don’t want to talk about it now,” August replied. “Just know she didn’t suffer. It was the Countdown that got her… just like Granny. I’m uh… I guess I’m going to China.”
Bobby nodded his head, even though August couldn’t see him. It made sense for him to visit Sam’s motherland. Bobby had more that he wanted to say, but he didn’t really know how to express those thoughts and feelings. Being a writer of music, Bobby had beautiful prose he could tap into at a moment’s notice. But the loss of life had been such a normal and humdrum thing for so long, most people didn’t get too worked up over it anymore, including Bobby.
But this felt different somehow. The love he witnessed between August and Samantha had been unique. In his lifetime, Bobby had never seen two people blend so perfectly. Her death actually broke Bobby’s heart, to his surprise.
“Listen… don’t… don’t worry about the house,” Bobby said, now the one fighting back tears. “I’ll make sure it’s ready for you, should you ever come back. And if you don’t, I’ll preserve all the memories you two shared in there. You just… you just go, man. Get out of here and start a new life. I know it hurts… hell, it hurts me, so I can’t imagine how bad it hurt for you… But your new life is ready to begin. Even if you don’t want it… it’s out there. Just let go.”
August was crying harder than ever at hearing these words from Bobby, who had never expressed such emotion in all the years August had known him. He couldn’t even say goodbye to his old friend. August just pressed the end button on his cellphone.
-
Using his new wealth and resources, August ended up in Birmingham later that day and checked into a hospital. He wanted to heal up properly before heading to China, and his wounds were still fresh from the accident with the AutoCar. The hospital in Birmingham was new and had the best healing tech in all of Alabama. It was top of the line, and August could afford that now.
August spent two days subjecting himself to the most expensive treatments available to mend his bones, and heal his cuts and scrapes. There was no pain, as the hospital staff was incredible in their profession. And best of all, in August’s opinion, they weren’t the personnel of the Granger Clinic on West Main Street.
After those two days, he spent a week wandering around, exploring Birmingham. After all, August had never left New Dothan, so he was curious about the biggest city in Alabama. He found that it was just like his home town, only a little larger with a few more tall buildings, a few more parks, and a few more restaurants. The automated sidewalks moved at the same speed, and he avoided them just the same as he always had back home. They even used the same lanterns as in New Dothan.
Seeing them, and with memories flooding into his mind, August fell to his knees in the middle of the street in downtown Birmingham. He wailed at the memory of his first meeting with Samantha between the lanterns on West Main Street. August couldn’t handle the pain. He couldn’t take the constant reminders of his wife. He had to get out of Alabama. He had to leave North America. The United States of Earth covered the whole planet, and he could go anywhere. It was time to leave. He had to let go.
Chapter 26
NEW LIFE
One month later, August was walking through the rice fields in a rural Chinese village near Guilin. He had set up a base for himself in the city of Chengdu and ventured out from there for days at a time.
August left all his tech at the apartment in Chengdu. He had chosen that city based on recommendations from locals in Shanghai, who said Chengdu had great food that was very spicy. Having no idea what was in store for him anywhere in this enormous and foreign land, August blindly trusted them and was glad he had done so.
It was shocking to see almost no other skin color than that of his recently dead wife. At first, it felt like the worst idea in the world to have come here to escape constant reminders of Sam. But everything else was so different, that the only distraction was the locals’ skin and hair. None of them were as beautiful as she was in his eyes, so he didn’t care.
Now, August was quite a local celebrity wherever he went. Despite the world having only one government, and with the advent of free Internet and wifi in every little village in the world, China still held onto its ancient culture with iron grips. So it was no surprise that he was the first blac
k man that many of the local villagers had ever seen.
They all, especially the elderly and the children, wanted to feel his skin and touch his hair. August didn’t mind, though. It was like being loved by someone again. Having them caress his arms and face, or press at his hair – even pulling at it sometimes – he could close his eyes and imagine it was Samantha.
Since coming to China, he had decided that letting go of her was impossible. Instead, what August desperately needed to do was accept his loss. Embrace the love they had shared, because it would sustain him. Sadness visited August almost every day, but he chose to find new ways each time to take his mind somewhere different, to a fearless and positive place.
Sometimes he helped the local farmers with their manual labor. Other times, he sat down and wrote about how he was feeling at that very moment. Mostly, though, when the feeling of sadness came over him so strongly August felt he would suffocate... that was when he cooked.
August would stop into the nearest restaurant or café, or sometimes even someone’s home, and offer him or her a large amount of Credit if they would teach him to cook something new. Every time he smelled the warm aroma of food cooking, and it was his hands doing some of the work, August filled with radiant energy; an almost… magical feeling.
His logical mind told him it was happiness. He was happy because he was doing something of which the woman he gave his heart to forever would approve. At the back of his mind, though, he always thought it was Sam. That she was there guiding his hands and helping him make these unusual and unbelievably delectable local dishes you would never find on a menu back home in a million years. A Nutricator couldn’t even begin to manufacture dishes this intricate.