“Oh, dear. I seem to be saying all the wrong things.” Alice blushed, lowering her head. She shouldn’t have stopped. She should have left Adam in peace.
He shook his head, looking back at her. “No, Alice, don’t feel bad. I… I don’t know what I’m saying right now. My mind is… in a fog. I have trouble thinking straight.”
“It’s only been a few days, Adam. You must give yourself more time. The pain will never go away but it will ease up with time. You will learn to live with it.”
Adam nodded. When he said nothing more, Alice thought again that she shouldn’t have stopped to talk to him. She clearly couldn’t say the right thing, certainly not anything that would ease his pain. Could anyone, though?
She stood for another minute or two in silence, watching the children playing and the townsfolk talking. Just as she was preparing herself to make her departure, he began talking.
“They all have such wonderful things to say about her,” Alice could hear his voice breaking and wanted to gather him in her arms and hold him tight. He resembled a lost little boy right then, someone she wanted to protect from harm. “She was friends with everyone. I know it’s because your family has always been in Wickenburg and everyone knew her. But just because you grew up here doesn’t mean everyone has to like you or be friends with you. But everyone here… they were all her friends. Who did she meet that did not like her?”
“And that she didn’t like in return.” Alice supplied in a soft voice.
“Yes, exactly that.” Adam nodded. He folded his arms over his broad chest. For the first time, Alice noticed that his arms were muscular and strong. His hands were large and looked like they had been used to do some very repetitive hard work. She moved her eyes back up to his face, really looking at him for the first time. His hair was a dark brown and waved back over his head and slightly down to his shoulders. His eyes, by contrast, were a blue that reminded her of the puddles that formed in the corners of the street after a rain shower. His face was weather-beaten but still smooth. She noticed for the first time that he was quite handsome.
“You were very good with her, Adam. Our family always appreciated it. You were so good to her.”
She noticed when his fingers dug into his arms. She felt bad. Was there anything she could say that would not cause him pain?
“I did try. I wanted her to be happy more than anything else. I wanted her to be happy.”
“She was happy. She was very happy. You let her do the things that pleased her and never complained about it.”
Adam had to grin, which made Alice feel a bit of relief. Finally she had said something right.
“I wouldn’t say I never complained about it,” Adam chuckled softly, which surprised Alice. “I just didn’t stop her. She took my complaining in stride. She would often say that I was acting a bit like a woman with my nagging. I just wanted her to stay home a few nights when she had made plans with the ladies in town. But no, I could not stop her. Doing things for others pleased her. That was what was most important.”
“You showed her true love, Adam. I’m so glad she got to experience that.”
Adam directed his eyes toward her. “And how about you, young woman? When will you find a man to love and marry?”
Alice shook her head. “God hasn’t blessed me that way yet. I have a bit more time. I’m not an old spinster yet.”
“And you never will be. You are as beautiful on the outside and inside as my Holly. I’m sure you will find a good man to take care of you and for you to care for in return.”
Alice looked away from him, wishing she had continued walking. The conversation had not gone in the direction she would have liked. She didn’t want to discuss her personal life, what there was of it. She was unhappy with it. Her prospects would only change if someone new came into town, and most of the men coming to Wickenburg were in search of gold. They weren’t the type of men she was seeking. They spent the majority of their time in the saloon if they weren’t in the upper rooms with the ladies that worked there. She wanted nothing to do with it. On the rare occasion one spoke to her in the street, it was not polite conversation and was nearly always something crass.
“I am heading back home now, Adam. I wanted to speak to you one more time before I go. You will tell me if you need help around the house, won’t you?”
“I will.”
“You are going to need someone to pick up the duties that my sister performed.”
“I have no money for a housekeeper.”
Alice looked shocked and dismayed. “Oh Adam, you are my family. How can you think that I would charge you a single dime for any work I do? I would not. I could not.”
“I apologize, Alice. I wasn’t thinking about it that way.”
“You just make sure you send me a message if you need my help. You know I will be there as soon as I can. We can even make it a weekly thing, if you want. I don’t have anything else to do.”
He smiled weakly at her and her heart softened for him. “You don’t belong to the sewing circle, the book group, and the lady’s bible study?”
She pursed her lips at him. “I do belong to several ladies’ groups in town. Only the sewing circle with Holly. Otherwise, I am in different groups.”
“So you do have something else to do.”
She shook her head, meeting his eyes with hers. “Nothing that is more important.”
CHAPTER THREE
SAM SPEAKS
SAM SPEAKS
Adam lifted a log of wood and set it on the table in front of him.
“Good morning, Adam,” he turned to see his neighbor, Mark, who had just come in the shop. He was wearing a torn shirt and had a towel draped over his shoulder. His skin was a dark red from working out in the sun the majority of the time, chopping down trees to use for lumber. “I’m surprised you are here today. Shouldn’t you be taking a few more days off work?”
Adam shook his head. “I can’t afford to do that, Mark. I’ve got these jobs to finish and without it, I won’t be able to feed my kids. I gotta get back to it. I need to be busy anyway.”
“I suppose it helps to distract your mind,” Mark nodded.
“It keeps me busy. It doesn’t stop my thoughts.”
Mark came over to help him steady the log. “You need help cutting this up? It’s a big one.”
“I could use your help, thanks.”
“How are the kids, anyway? Max doing all right? I saw them heading to the schoolhouse. He isn’t smiling much.”
“It’s going to take him some time, I reckon. It surprises me that it isn’t Riley without the smiles. My friend, that little girl has been trying to take over her mama’s duties. She’s been cleaning the kitchen and cooking simple dinners. She’s been… so good. I hate to think that she’s not doing her little girl things and is growing up too fast. I want her to have a happy childhood.”
“Maybe it’s good for her. If you get someone in there to help clean, I’m sure she will want to participate anyway. She is a smart girl, very smart.”
Adam ran the blade over the outside of the log, stripping the bark from it. “I am blessed with two great kids; that is true. I just wish…”
“What happened, Adam? If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. But Holly was so young, what caused that to happen to her?”
“Doc said it appeared her heart stopped. He didn’t have a good reason why. It just… it could have been an ongoing problem. She never had any trouble that I knew of. Not in pain. I wish we had known of it before it happened but…” Adam couldn’t continue. Mark gave him a sympathetic look.
“I’m sorry, my friend. We won’t talk about it anymore. Unless you need to or want to. Tell me what you have planned for tonight?”
“I don’t have any plans.”
“Me and Nathan are going to the Horse N Saddle for a couple beers. You want to go?”
“I don’t have anyone to watch the kids.”
“I’ll go get Lucy. She’ll do it. You want me
to go get her?”
“I’m not sure the saloon is the right answer for my problem.” Adam cut into the tree with the blade, taking off more than just the bark. He was an expert at his job and small mistakes usually got on his nerves. He barely noticed the cut into the wood and continued stripping the log.
“Sure it is. You can drown your sorrows in a bottle.”
“And go home drunk to my children. I don’t think so.”
“All right, don’t get drunk. Just come with us. You should get out. You’re spending time working, but otherwise, what are you doing? I suspect you are sitting on your porch chair staring out at the night sky. Or sitting in the sun sweating it out. You shouldn’t be doing either. I’m just trying to help.”
“I know you are, Mark. Maybe I will go to the Horse N Saddle tonight. Thanks for inviting me.”
Mark chuckled, raising his eyebrows. “You’ve never thanked me for inviting you anywhere. Who are you and where is the Adam I know?”
Adam shook his head as Mark helped him turn the log so he could strip the last of the bark from it. “I can’t be the same person, Mark. I never will be.”
“You will find love again, I’m sure.”
Adam frowned at his friend. “Why would you say that to me, Mark? It has been five days, not five years. I’m not interested in finding another woman to love. I want my wife back.”
Mark shook his head. “It was thoughtless of me, I guess. I know you’re in pain. I apologize. You’re a changed man. I hate to see you so down in the gutter. Come to the saloon tonight and we’ll do our best to get you to relax.”
“Don’t invite any of the ladies to the table. I don’t want any of that mess.”
“I know, I know.” Mark flipped his hand in the air, nodding vigorously. “You weren’t interested in them even before you found Holly. And there’s a bunch of new arrivals from the East, anyway. They like to take up the ladies’ time. Nothing better than a new man to torture, I guess.”
Adam couldn’t help snorting humorously. “Torture. That’s what you call what they do? You been with many of those ladies?”
Mark raised his eyebrows. “I’m a bachelor, Adam, with no prospects of marriage. Where else am I going to find the attention of a woman?”
“You don’t even try,” Adam pushed the log off the table onto the ground so that it was standing up on one end. He wrapped a rope around it and secured it in several places to a pole that ran from the floor to the ceiling. He rifled through his tool pouch behind him on another table and pulled out a long curved knife.
“Do you need any help with that?” Mark looked up and down the large log with doubt on his face.
“No.”
“I’ll leave you to it then. You going tonight, right?”
Adam nodded without answering. Mark waved a hand in the air and turned to leave. Adam looked up at him as he stepped toward the door.
“Hey Mark, you ever talk to my sister-in-law, Alice?”
Mark turned back. He looked up at the ceiling and leaned against the table Adam had taken the log from after stripping it. “I can’t recall. That’s the one who looks a lot like Holly, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“She’s really pretty,” Mark narrowed his eyes. “What are ya thinking? You tryin’ to set me up on a date?”
“If you were going to take someone out or consider them for marriage, she’d be a good woman to consider.”
“I don’t know her.”
Adam pulled his eyebrows together and turned from the log to face his friend. “You’ve lived in Wickenburg for over ten years. How can you not know her?”
Mark shrugged, pulling several shelled peanuts out of his pocket and breaking them open to eat the nuts inside. “Just never have. I guess we don’t go to the same places.”
“You haven’t seen her at church?”
“When was the last time I was at church, Adam? You even notice?”
“You need to go to church more often then. Come with us this Sunday. I’ll introduce you to her.”
Mark pulled in a sigh, tossing several peanut shells on the ground to mix with the dirt and bark. “All right. I’ll come with you. However, I’m not making any promises. Don’t know why you want to play matchmaker. I’ve done fine on my own. Don’t need a woman bossing me around.”
“She’s not like that. She won’t tell you what to do or boss you around. She’s no shrew.”
“Oooo, fancy words from the lumberjack.” Mark grinned at him.
“Don’t be a goon, Mark. Just come with us. And when you meet her, be nice. No crude comments.”
Mark lifted his eyebrows, trying his best to look innocent. “Crude? Me? Never.”
He laughed as he turned to the door. “I’ll see you later, Adam. Don’t work too hard.”
Adam turned back to the log and set the curved knife on the soft wood to make small carved loops. When he was done with it, it would be one of the nicest pieces of furniture he’d ever made. He was sure of it.
The Horse N Saddle Saloon was nearly empty when Adam walked in four hours later. He’d secured a babysitter for his children, assuming Mark had forgotten to ask Lucy, cleaned himself up and struck out for the bar on Musty, his horse. After tying Musty’s reins around the hitching post, Adam pushed the doors open and stepped into the dark saloon. His eyes had to adjust to the dim light from the lanterns. He looked around for Mark and Nathan but they weren’t there.
He went straight for the bar, nodding once to Sam, who was wiping off the surface with a towel. He slid onto a bar stool. “Tell me something, Sam; how come every time I come in here, you are wiping down this counter? Doesn’t seem to me like it could get that dirty all the time.”
“You don’t know how much dust gathers in here, my friend. How are you doing? My condolences. Holly was a beautiful and smart woman. You were lucky to find her.”
“I was blessed, yeah.”
“And those two great kids of yours.” Sam shook his head, pulling out a large bottle of Vodka and placing a shot glass in front of Adam. “You need a drink, my friend. You are overdue.”
“I haven’t drunk Vodka in some time, Sam. Are you trying to get me in trouble?”
“No, but as your friend and the local barkeep, I’m telling you, you need a shot or two. Here, have some peanuts.” He reached below the counter and slapped a large bowl of peanuts on the counter next to the shot glass. He unscrewed the top of the Vodka bottle and poured a shot neatly into the waiting glass.
Adam gave him a look before picking up the shot glass and tossing the drink back in one swallow. He reacted to the sudden hit of liquor in his system, blanching and shaking his head, sucking in a deep breath.
“Whew!” He exclaimed. “That’s strong.”
Sam laughed. “It’s the weakest liquor I’ve got in the building, Adam. You just don’t drink it as often as you should.”
“No, I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Yeah, you think it’s the devil’s drink, don’t ya?” Sam continued to laugh. “That’s okay. Sometimes it comes in handy when people need to get bad things off their mind.” He leaned forward on the counter, wiping non-existent dirt away with his towel. Then he slung it over his shoulder and clasped his hands together, lacing his fingers. “I don’t think I ever told you, Adam, but I lost my wife, too.”
Adam stared at him in shock. “You didn’t tell me.”
Sam shrugged, preparing another shot of liquor for Adam. “I didn’t tell nobody. I been here in Wickenburg for goin’ on twenty years. But no one knew my wife or knew about my past. Doing this job, ya learn to listen to other people’s problems and try not to judge. But I don’t reveal much about my life before Wickenburg. There’s not much sense in it. I’m not trying to get sympathy from anyone. I just thought I’d share it with ya so ya’d know ya wasn’t alone in this. I been there and I feel for ya.”
“Can I ask how?”
Sam poured the shot, capped the bottle, and set it next to him,
leaning forward again. “Well, that was a time when there was some mad Indians runnin’ around up near Tucson. Mighta been Hopis. I don’t rightly know, as I never stopped ‘em to get their tribe name, ya know?”
Adam nodded, dreading where this was going.
“So me and some of my neighbors had ta go out and settle things with these Indians that kept coming through our land and stealin’ our cattle. I was cattle ranchin’ back then. And one day, I came back from runnin’ the cows out across town, just helpin’ out one of my neighbors, ya know. Well, they’d come through and destroyed the house I’d built for me and my wife. They killed her, set fire to my place… it was a horrible time, I’ll tell ya. But it was some twenty years ago and I left and came here right after. Now I got me another beautiful woman to take care of me and two kids. I woulda had one with Beatrice. She was with child when they killed her.”
“Oh, Sam, I’m sorry to hear about this.”
Sam shook his head. “No need for that now. She been in Heaven for a long time, laughing at my foolishness. She was a good woman. But I’m bettin’ she’s an even better angel.”
Adam couldn’t believe how much comfort Sam’s words gave him. He pictured Holly as an angel, looking down on him and laughing at his foolishness.
“Thanks for telling me about that, Sam. It was mighty kind of you to reveal your past to me like that.”
“Yeah, don’t spread the word, if ya don’t mind. I’m not trying to get any attention from anyone. And my wife and kids don’t need to have my past brought up to them either.”
“I wouldn’t dare. I swear.”
“Thanks. You waitin’ on your friends or you want another couple shots?”
“I can’t afford all these shots, Sam, now come on.”
Sam laughed. “Your drinks are on the house tonight, my friend. Ya deserve ta get drunk if ya want. I know I did. For about three months. Then I left town. Don’t leave town.”
Adam shook his head. “Not gonna leave town, Sam. Thanks for this.” He lifted the shot glass and downed the third shot Sam poured for him. He heard the saloon doors swing open and looked over his shoulder to see Mark and Nathan had entered.
Handsome Widower’s Second Chance (Family of Love Series) (A Western Romance Story) Page 3