by Sumida, Amy
I felt my stomach drop and my eyes turned immediately to Vidar and Vali. Did she know about them? I looked at Odin next and his gaze was just as concerned as mine.
“Yes, I know about your brats,” she answered my unspoken question. “You think just because you can't find me that I'm not watching you?” She paused to cackle. “I'm going to do worse to them than I did to that bald lion of yours. I'm going to really take my time and enjoy them since you've completely turned my daughter against me and I can no longer enjoy her company.”
“Don't worry about us, Mom,” Vali put a hand on my shoulder. “We can take her.”
“I am like the seasons,” Demeter continued. “Like the frost that comes in the night or the heat wave that suddenly chokes the harvest. You will never see me coming.” She laughed again. “So go home and enjoy your babies while you can, Godhunter. They will not be yours for long.”
“Wrong again, bitch,” I growled at Demeter's face.
I didn't scream, I didn't smash anything like I wanted to. I just pulled up my claws and stomped out of the house with everyone else following behind me. I walked right up to the closed gate and pulled the gate remote out of my pocket. I'd pilfered it years ago when I'd stolen Ku's car and I was glad I'd held onto it.
I wasn't sure it was still going to work after all those years but now that we'd established that Demeter was gone, there was no sense in being quiet. We could walk out the gates instead of climbing over them, like we'd done to get in. I pointed the remote and clicked it. The gates opened.
“She didn't even change the code,” I growled. “She wanted me to come here. She was hoping I would.”
“Yeah but that was before she angered all the Froekn and Intare,” Vali said from my side. “Now the huntress is being hunted and she knows it. She threatened us to try and throw you off your game.”
“There's got to be a way to find her,” I grumbled as I walked down the road toward my car.
The road was lined with all of our vehicles and I leaned against my car as I watched the others get inside their own. I wasn't about to leave before I knew everyone else was safe.
My lions piled into a few vans and I nodded at them to leave. Kirill was still with me of course, so they didn't have a problem with it. The Froekn had a bunch of personal vehicles that they'd car pooled over in. Car pooling to an assassination, isn't that a hoot? Anyway, they all got going fairly quickly too. The only ones who remained behind were the Vikings, Kirill, and my wolf.
So it was easy to notice the sleek sports car with heavily tinted windows... including the windshield. I stood up from my leaning position and Kirill went immediately on the alert next to me. I started walking across the street, the other men following me without being asked, but before I made it even halfway, the car started up and sped off. It nearly hit me in the process.
“Son of a bitch,” I cursed as I stared after it.
“Should ve follow car?” Kirill growled.
“No, stand down,” I sighed. “I think I know who that was. Or at least what that was.”
“What does that mean?” Trevor was standing by my side, opposite Kirill, flanking me.
“I think vampires have been following me.”
Is it still paranoia when they really are out to get you?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Odin,” I called out as I walked out of the tracing room.
“There you are,” he smiled as I caught up with him in the doorway of the dining hall.
The party was raging but it was just background to him, I barely even glanced at the others. He took my hand and kissed it tenderly, then used it to lead me inside. I squinted as the light from hundreds of candles reflected off the silver walls in an attempt to blind me to Valaskjálf’s beauty. To blind me to Odin's beauty. Both were impossible.
“I find myself tired of revelry” he winked at me, sliding his hand to the small of my back as he ushered me to the opposite end of the hall and through the doorway on the left.
“Where are we going?” The faces we passed were a blur, I hadn’t even said hello to my sons.
“I’ve got something to show you,” as soon as we cleared the door, he scooped me up and ran for the stairs. I felt the laughter pour out of me and he started to laugh as well, our joy ringing back to us from the paneled walls. I clung to his wide shoulders as he took the steps two at a time, and soon he was slamming the bedroom door shut behind us.
He lowered me to my feet and then lowered his mouth to mine, cutting off my mirth with passion. His lips were soft but his tongue was ruthless and I sighed, giving in to the fire that had been building. I leaned in and felt his heartbeat through my hand, it seemed to vibrate into my skin and link us more securely than the kiss. Then his shirt was off and there was bare skin beneath my fingers. I stroked the hard planes of him, his smooth skin marred only by the raised ridge of scar tissue near his side.
“We can't do this,” I gasped, “what about...”
“Forget them,” he leered.
I felt my dress slide to the floor, followed quickly by my underwear, and then we were pressed flesh to flesh. There were no thoughts of restraint then. It had gone too far, I needed him too desperately.
His hands were everywhere, his mouth was everywhere. I gasped and opened my eyes to see him kneeling before me, stroking his hands over my breasts as he kissed my belly… but I could feel him licking a path down my back as he rubbed the inside of my thighs. At the same time, his mouth was on my neck and his finger slipped inside me… or so it seemed. Invisible hands and mouths were all over me.
“What are you doing?” I started to shake, so he picked me up and carried me to the bed.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he whispered, “let my magic pleasure you.”
“Magic?” I groaned as the sensation of multiple hands roaming my body, some rough, some gentle, sent waves of delight through me.
“Spread your legs,” Odin pushed at them lightly and I obliged, unable to do anything else.
He lowered his face as I felt his magic enter me, feeling like the silkiest, most perfect piece of flesh in the world. He licked me and I screamed as the orgasm hit. The feeling of him sliding in and out of me was so real, I had to focus on his face between my legs to understand what was happening.
I came again as he continued, hands sliding over my breasts as invisible tongues licked both of my nipples and his shaft of magic pierced me. More magic hands held my thighs as they clenched and trembled with my release, sending me spiraling into depths of pleasure I hadn’t thought existed. I felt the invisible hardness slide out a split second before Odin rose up and filled me with the real thing… which was even better.
His massive chest lowered over me as he slammed home, his forearms holding him up enough to keep from crushing me but I didn’t care about being crushed. I wanted him closer, deeper, if it meant suffocation, so be it. I pulled on his shoulders, raising my legs so I could push my hips up to meet his thrusts, the magic falling away until it was just us. He groaned and looked down at me with his beautiful eyes. Eyes, as in plural. I gasped as he lowered his face to mine.
“I love you, Sabine,” his kiss was gentle before he pulled back to look at me. “I’ll never love another. I swear it, only you… forever.”
I inhaled sharply as I sat straight up in bed, clutching the tangled covers to me and fighting back a cry. I felt movement next to me and looked down to see Trevor snuggle closer in his sleep. I started to cry then, silent, miserable tears that fell down my face and soaked into the sheet I shared with my sleeping wolf.
Chapter Thirty
I dried my eyes and snuck out of bed. I couldn't live like this anymore. Something had to be done about Odin. Something needed to be resolved. I had no idea what I was going to do but I had this burning need for action. So I ninja walked through the bedroom and threw on a dress before creeping outside and tracing over to Valaskjálf.
The silver hall was eerily quiet, a stark difference to my dream version. The silve
r was muted without light to bring it to life and the fire in the fireplace was banked to a few glowing coals. Odin was probably asleep and there I was, just walking in like I owned the place. I didn't care though, somehow I knew he'd have the answers I needed and I needed to hear them now. I walked determinedly through the dining hall and through the doorway on the left.
My steps echoed in the wood corridor and I didn't try to quiet them. I wasn't here to kill, I was here to confront. There was no need for subterfuge.
When I reached Odin's door, I lifted my hand to knock but before I could, it swung open and Odin stood before me, dressed in nothing but white linen pants. Even his eye patch was gone and I could see his closed and slightly concave lid. Strange, that the bare eye felt more intimate to me than his bare chest.
“Vervain,” he whispered and pushed the door open wider. “Come in.”
I walked in without a word and went to sit on the curved couch before the fireplace. This fire was banked as well for the night but it still gave off a comforting glow and I stared at the red coals as I tried to compose my thoughts. Now that I was there, I had no idea how to start.
“You have questions,” Odin placed a fur blanket around my shoulders and I pulled it in automatically.
“You could say that,” I finally turned to face him. He, however, turned away and went to stoke the fire. “Why do I have these memories, Odin?”
I saw his back stiffen, the skin pulling as his shoulders hunched in and I suddenly had the memory of him telling me about how he'd been scarred. It was a spear, his spear, though it hadn't been wielded by his hand. Not then, at least. He'd been in the forest with Rind, Vali's mother, and Frigg, his then wife, had found them. She must have known about their trysts because she came prepared. She had the spear Gungnir.
Odin and Rind were at the base of a large tree, making love, when Frigg came upon them. She thought to kill them both, spearing them together to die in their adultery, but she forgot one major thing. Gungnir was Odin's weapon and though it was not purely sentient, it did have a will of its own. Frigg's vengeance went against that will and the spear shifted at the last moment, catching Odin in the side and allowing him the chance to defend himself.
He didn't hurt Frigg. He didn't say anything. He just pulled that spear out of his side and climbed up into the tree, much to the shock of the two women. He wouldn't come down, no matter what they said to him and they finally just left him there. He sat in that tree for nine hours, just contemplating the events that had occurred. When he finally came down, he felt enlightened, renewed. He realized he'd been cruel and unfair to Frigg and decided to give their marriage another chance. He went home with the intention of starting fresh.
Frigg was overjoyed and forgave Odin his indiscretion but then Rind had returned with a baby. A baby Rind wanted no part of after Odin had abandoned her so easily. She laid the child in his arms and left, never to grace his hall or their child's life again. He thought that surely Frigg wouldn't hold his sins against a child, and he asked her to help him rear his son. She sweetly agreed and the surface of things looked so smooth for awhile. Underneath, however, resentment was churning.
Frigg hated Vali for what he represented, her husband's desire for another woman, and she neglected him. As far as her marriage to Odin, with a constant reminder of his indiscretion, Frigg couldn't move on and her bitterness finally began to show. Odin's efforts to save their marriage were no match for her anger and he finally accepted the fact that their relationship was over. That's when he met Sabine and finally found the woman he knew he could be happy with for eternity. He asked Frigg to dissolve their ties and she agreed, saying she was already in love with another man. She built her own Hall and moved out.
Balder's anger made more sense to me after that little trip down memory lane, and so did Rind's abandonment of Vali. It didn't change how I felt about either of them though. In fact, it made me respect Odin more for not simply growing tired of Frigg and tossing her out for a new woman. She had given him one hell of a wake up call and he had done his best to make things better for her. It was just too late.
“Vervain,” Odin was kneeling in front of me. “Vervain, are you okay?”
“Another memory,” I pushed his hands away. “They've been coming more and more frequently now. It gets worse when I'm around you but tonight you were in my dreams.”
“Your dreams?” He sat back on the carpet in front of me and just stared at me balefully.
“We were having a party,” I stared back at him, “but we left it to come up here.” I looked over at the bed and felt the blood rush into my cheeks. Sex with him had been amazing, even in a mere memory.
“I remember,” he swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead.
“What's happening to me?” I launched myself off the couch and pushed both of my hands into his shoulders, jolting him out of his reverie. “This is driving me insane!”
“I'm so sorry,” his face fell into the palms of his hands and his shoulders began to shake.
“Oh, fuck no,” I pulled his hands away and jerked his face up. “I don't want your tears, I want the truth. Tell me what's going on. This shouldn't be happening, should it? As much as I love you, as much as I love Vidar and Vali, something inside me feels the wrongness of this.”
“It's not wrong,” he whispered. “Not wrong, just not...”
“Natural?” I searched his face and for a split second it changed. I saw him again with two eyes and they were both spilling tears as he leaned over me. “What did you do?”
“I gave up my eye,” his voice sounded like it was pulled from him but he looked up at me with relief. “I traded my eye for the knowledge to bring you back.”
“What?” I fell back against the couch. “You what?”
“I couldn't live without you,” he got to his knees and edged forward. “When you left, my whole world left with you. I told you I would never love another and you still chose to leave me. I couldn't understand that, Sabine.”
“Vervain,” I whispered.
“You are Sabine,” he stroked the side of my face. “You have these memories because you are her. This is not reincarnation. You're not an old soul reborn into a new body, reborn to live and learn new lessons. You're Sabine in a new body, brought back through my magic.”
“No,” my stomach clenched and cringed away from his hand. “Are you saying I'm a fucking zombie or like the Bride of Frankenstein?”
“No,” he smiled a little. “You were born again, your body shaped inside a new mother and brought into a new life, but this is the same.” He lightly touched my chest over my heart. “Your structure is slightly different, altered by the woman who carried you, but the cells that make you are the same, and the soul that lived inside you before is the same. You had to mature before you were able to handle the memories, although you probably experienced them as dreams when you were younger.”
I nodded, as I began to remember snippets from childhood. Situations that had seemed familiar to me, knowledge of spellcraft before I was taught. I was performing basic spells before I was five and when my mom asked me how I knew to do what I did, I'd tell her it just seemed right. I had a baby doll named Vidar that I would carry everywhere. How had I forgotten that?
“What have you done?” I looked at him in horror.
“I dove into the well of souls after you and pulled you out,” He said as he stood and looked down at me defiantly. His massive body seemed even more huge from where I sat. “I pulled you out and bound you with hair from your head. I melded you with your physical connection and then I laid you in the womb of a human woman.”
“Why not come to me sooner?” I wondered what my life would have been like if I'd met Odin first. “Why wait till now?”
“As soon as I released you, the magic took its payment,” he sat heavily on the couch and I got up to sit beside him. “I lost her, your mother. I knew you were out there, knew you would be born, but had no way of knowing where you were or if you'd even live to adultho
od. I admit I gave up. I thought I'd never see your face again. I sank into a depression even deeper than the one I experienced when you first died. Then you walked into Valhalla on the arm of my own son. I wasn't sure it was you at first, there are things different about your face, but then I spoke with you and you called me Sweet Raven like you always had. I knew you were back then but still out of my reach.”
“Magic always has a price,” I huffed a small laugh, then sighed deep. “I've always felt strange, like I didn't belong, until I met my lions. They gave me a purpose, they gave me a family to care for. Now I know it was so much more than that. I was missing your wild magic, Vali's somber loyalty, and Vidar's unconditional love. Things I couldn't find with humans, I found with the Intare, but now here you all are and I don't know where to put you. I've filled the spaces that once were yours and if I make more room, I may lose the heart of another man with wild magic. Another man I love completely.”
“I know,” he hung his head. “I understand even. The years I waited for you taught me to be careful of what I wished for. I went over the spell in my head, time and time again, wondering what I could have done differently and then finally wondering if I should have done it at all.”
“And what answer did you come up with?”
“Nothing,” he smiled sadly. “I could have done nothing differently and I would change nothing at all. Even now, feeling the pain of you professing your love for another, I can't regret bringing you back. I can't regret giving Mimir my eye. I would do it all again, just for this. To sit here and talk with you. To breathe the air you're breathing and know that you live again. It may be unnatural, it may be selfish, but I don't care. I regret nothing.”
“Love makes selfish bastards of us all,” I reached out and pulled his face to mine.