by April Marcom
Nicole’s biggest secret and potentially the most devastating was still her bought position of varsity cheer captain. If she was stripped of that, she would lose everything. She would finally get what she deserved.
“…Hadley, for the grand finale.” Brittany held a hand out to me and everyone started clapping.
I hadn’t paid her any attention before the mention of my name. My short breaths seemed like thunder leaving my body.
Lavender stood closest to me and held out her mic. I took it in one hand. When I realized how badly it was shaking I wrapped my other hand around it too, squeezing tight enough to stop the shuddering.
Slowly, the crowd quietened. I stood there facing them, hardly able to breathe. Half the school held their phones fixed on me, ready to catch every second of the big reveal on camera.
“Go, Team Hadley!” Sid shouted from the top of the stands.
A bunch of the guys around him shouted, “Go, Hadley! and let out whistles.
I hardly noticed with the pitiful image of Nicole’s injured arm and tear-stained face burning inside my head. Me piling her secrets on top of that—it was simply too much to inflict on anyone. Only a monster, or Nicole, would do something like that. It was horrible, cruel, scandalous.
That’s when I knew—I couldn’t do this to her.
45
“I know, I know you’re all expecting me to reveal some pretty heavy stuff today,” I began. “This week—” Deep breath. “—was probably the worst I’ve had since my father passed away. Someone said the most hurtful things anyone’s ever said to me, and led me to ruining the best relationship I’ll probably ever have.” I only glanced at Ty, because anything more would have brought me to tears. I was already so close.
My eyes scanned the crowd. Everyone was deathly quiet and still. My fear returned quietly again as to whether they would all hate me after today.
“But no matter what Nicole’s done to me…” One final, huge deep breath. “…I just can’t do this to her. I’m sorry.”
The quietness broke into whispers. My gaze hit the floor because I was too afraid to face the horrible looks I was probably getting.
No cheerleader made a move or a sound. Everyone waited for me to say more, but I had nothing left to say.
“Are you recording me?” someone who sounded exactly like me said, big and loud enough for everyone to hear.
I stared at the big screen in time to see myself staring back at me, and everyone else inside the gym, before the image turned sideways.
“I’m just waiting for my mom to text me back,” Poppy said off-screen.
Oh—my—gosh.
I stared in horror at the real Poppy. She was squatting beside the machine under the announcer’s table, her cell now hooked up to it. She winked and nodded behind her to Ty. He was watching the screen intently.
Part of me wanted to rip the phone from her hand to stop everyone from seeing my meltdown, but I really wanted the one who mattered most—Ty—to see it, too.
“Oh, sorry,” my on-camera-self said.
“You’re fine. Go ahead and finish what you were saying,” the on-screen-Poppy told me.
“I don’t know what to do, Poppy. I told Ty he was just a stupid dare so he wouldn’t try to talk me out of breaking up with him, but it was a lie. He was—the most wonderful dare—the most wonderful boyfriend. It’s just…”
The sideways image of me on screen gasped noisily, then let it out.
“Everyone in school hated me. People were knocking me over in the hallway and nearly breaking my arms stepping on me. I’ve never been so terrified in all my life. I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought if I just broke up with him… Nicole would take the scandalous thing back and maybe I’d get over Ty eventually…” My image wiped her arm across her face, smearing makeup everywhere.
Suddenly, I felt the wetness against my face and wiped tears away for real, staring down at my hands like they weren’t mine. Everything about this morning was just too, too much. I hardly even knew I was crying.
“But I can’t get over Ty. I love him—so much, and… I’d rather spend every day like last Monday and have him back than go on without him.” I looked up at Ty. He was watching me now.
“He’s probably feeling just like you are,” the recording of Poppy said.
“Yeah, and that’s the worst part. I broke his beautiful, perfect heart…”
Ty and I stared at each other from that moment on. My chest shuddered as I took breath in and out. The surreal crying was uncontrollable.
“In a moment of selfish desperation, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I can’t believe I let Nicole make me do that to him. If he could just forgive me, I would never ever hurt him again. Not even if my life depended on it.”
The gym remained frozen as the seconds ticked by. The silence told me Poppy’s recording was over.
Finally, I tore my eyes away from Ty and held the mic near my lips. “You see?” I moved the microphone away to clear my throat and swallow down involuntary whimpering. “This is what bullying does, and it’s not who I am. So I won’t be revealing anyone’s secrets today.”
I handed the microphone back to Lavender. “I’m really sorry, girls.” Then I turned to leave them all behind for the exit doors.
I barely took my first step before someone whistled and started clapping. A few more students began clapping, then a few more. Tons of kids were standing and cheering for me when I looked over at them. It felt wonderful to know that at least I hadn’t turned the whole school against me.
I still needed a minute in the bathroom to get it together, though. Watching myself on screen, breaking down so hard, dragged all the pain back up and over the surface, intensifying it horribly.
“Oh, my,” someone said when I threw the gym door open and nearly whacked them with it.
“Sorry,” I said, then recognized Mrs. Black.
“That’s all right. Oh hello, Hadley. Are you all right, dear?” She put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.”
“I just came to get Ty and Poppy. I hadn’t really expected her presentation to take so long.”
“It’s over now, so you can probably get them.” I left her for the bathroom, feeling bad that I wasn’t more helpful. I just couldn’t face the school again yet. Today’s pep rally was over for me.
Mrs. Black gasped when the gym door flew open again.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Ty asked.
I stopped halfway to the girls’ bathroom and looked back.
“Your appointments start in five minutes and it takes ten minutes just to get to the dentist!” His mom suddenly sounded frantic. “I need you to get Poppy.”
Ty glanced at me. “But I—”
“Right now!”
He sighed and disappeared inside the gym at the same time my four best friends ran through the second set of doors.
“Are you guys mad at me?” I asked.
“Nah,” Stephanie threw an arm over my shoulders and led me with the others toward the bathroom. “You can’t help it if you’re sweet as sugar.”
“Steph’s right,” Brittany said, entering the bathroom first and holding the door open for the rest of us. “This was the most exciting week of my life. I feel so accomplished.”
Zaniah laughed. “And Nicole took care of turning the whole school against her for you.”
Lavender went to unravel about half a roll of toilet paper to hand over to me. “Well I think you’re wonderful for taking the high road. Not everyone would have done that. You’re like a hundred times more trustworthy, too, because now we all know you’ll take our secrets to the grave.”
Even I laughed at that.
The bathroom door creaked open rapidly. “Girls!” We heard Ms. Nordik’s voice before we saw her. Then she was storming in, looking aghast. “Principal Horawitz’s killing time talking to the school, but the football players are ready to come out. You have to get back out there.”
“But Hadley needs us,” Lavender said.
“The school needs you more. No offense, Hadley. You can stay here.”
“I’ll be fine. Go have fun.”
“You sure?” Brittany asked.
“Yeah. I just need a minute.”
“Okay.” My girls all hugged me super tight.
“Hug her later,” Ms. Nordik fussed. “Now, come on.”
In about two seconds, I was left all alone. My goodness, my face was a dirty tear-streaked mess. It was a good thing I kept emergency makeup in my purse. I just needed to grab it from my locker.
So nothing turned out like I or anyone else had expected, but it was still the best turnout I could have asked for—except, of course, that my heart was still empty without Ty.
Just like the day before, I got tons of sympathy. It was really annoying. People kept trying to sit by me or talk to me in class so they could tell me how they knew exactly what I was going through, or how great they thought I was for making such a difficult decision. I thanked each person before I tried to brush them off politely.
I didn’t have much of an appetite at lunch, so I got a little side salad just to keep me going. I was the first to sit at our table, so I got out my phone to text Poppy:
Ty said anything about this morning?
Blaine set down a tray of sloppy joe and French fries right next to me. It surprised me, since he hadn’t said anything to me all day. “I saw the video of you this morning,” he said.
It was hard to meet his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I love you so much, but—I want you to be happy, Hadley. So, I’m setting you free. If you really want to be with Ty, I won’t stand in your way.”
“Thanks, Blaine, but it doesn’t matter, anyway. He’s still not talking to me.”
“Well, that makes him the biggest idiot in the world.” He jammed a bunch of French fries in his mouth, shaking his head. “But I’m not complaining.”
Stephanie and Zaniah sat on my other side. “I’m so pumped for the game tonight, I can hardly stand it,” Stephanie said.
“Me, too.” Blaine’s voice was muffled by the fries. “Always gets me going to have Hadley cheering for me.” He gave me a wink.
“Actually…” I said tentatively. “I was kind of planning to skip the game tonight.”
Brittany set her tray next to Zaniah’s and froze to stare at me. “What? Why?”
“Cause I just need a break. After how crazy this week’s been, I’d really rather spend the night at home trying to forget everything.”
“Didn’t your mom fly out yesterday morning?” Lavender asked.
“Yeah, but she’ll be home in the morning. I just wanna stay home tonight.”
“I could blow off the game, too, and join you,” Blaine said.
I tried to give him a sweet smile. Without a doubt, he never would have done that for me before our breakup. “I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. Are you girls okay with that, though?”
“Yeah, we’ll be okay,” Zaniah said.
Brittany finally sat down. “It won’t be any fun without you, Hadley. I hope you know that.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just don’t go and quit the team or anything. We’d all be lost without you.”
“Aww, thanks. And don’t worry; I would never quit this team,” I promised.
46
It felt great walking into my house after school. I sooo needed the distance between me and the Clash of the Cheerleaders drama and Silver Wing High.
I headed straight for the kitchen to throw a bag of popcorn into the microwave. Then I went upstairs to put on a pair of pajamas and pile all my hair on top of my head in a messy, I-don’t-care-cause-I’m-home-alone bun. The microwave was just starting to ding, ding, ding when I returned to the first floor. I got sidetracked when a knock came at the door.
Nicole’s distorted figure waited on the other side of the stained glass. I was totally freaking out! I mean, should I answer the door? Was I even safe all alone with her? She was injured, but she’d been so unstable and nuts lately, taking out all her craziness on me. What if she was here just to hurt me or something? I felt stupid, but I reached inside the coat closet for the old baseball bat my dad always kept in there, just in case I needed to defend myself.
Keeping the chain on the door, I cracked it open just enough so we could see each other. “Nicole,” I said stiffly.
“Hey, Hadley. Can I come in?”
“What for?”
She looked down at her feet and scraped the bottom of one of her shoes against the toes of the other. “So I can apologize…” She shifted her weight slightly, sliding her opposite foot against the opposite toe. “…and so I can thank you. I can’t believe you backed out this morning after everything I’ve put you through.”
I looked her over from my side of the door. She had on jeans and a shirt that was too fitted to be hiding anything. She didn’t have her purse and her hair was down, so I doubted she had any weapons. Yeah, I know I was being paranoid, but can you blame me?
I shut the door and unchained it, although I kept a firm grip on the baseball bat. Then I opened the door all the way. “Come in, I guess.” I glanced outside and noticed the absence of her mom’s van. “Did you walk over here?”
Nicole pulled out a kitchen chair with her good arm and sat far enough away from the table to prevent bumping her fracture against it. “Yeah. I haven’t done it in like a year and a half, so I thought it might be nice for old time’s sake.”
That was brave, considering how many people wanted to seriously hurt her.
I took the seat at the opposite end of the table and stared at her. The yummy smell of popcorn made my stomach rumble.
“I saw the video of you this morning on Underground’s website. Someone uploaded it to YouTube, too. It’s already gone viral.”
“Really? Did they get my breakdown on the big screen?”
Nicole nodded.
“Dang it,” I muttered under my breath, totally embarrassed.
“I wouldn’t be too upset. It’s already gotten over ten thousand likes, and all the comments are positive. I’ll text you the link.”
I nodded. This was too weird, having Nicole sit at my table like nothing had happened between us.
“What made you change your mind?” Nicole met my eyes for the first time since I let her inside.
“It just felt wrong—and cruel. I kept thinking about you calling me last night, and how my dad wouldn’t have wanted me to do it. It wouldn’t have been right, even if you did deserve it.”
She dropped her gaze. “Well, thanks, and I’m really sorry for everything I did to you. I wish I could take it back.”
Yeah, so you wouldn’t have to live in fear anymore, I thought. “I guess I figured I might feel that way, too, if I told everybody your secrets… But why did you take it so far, Nicole? Do you really hate Ty that much?”
She shook her head, and kept shaking it as tears began to fall. “Hadley, I’m pregnant.”
The baseball bat fell from my hand and banged loudly against the floor. “Pregnant?” Had I heard her right?
Nicole’s head shaking became nodding. She sniffled and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
“How did that happen?”
She looked up and glared, holding her good hand up like, What the heck?
“Sorry. I mean when did it happen? You’ve never even had a serious boyfriend?”
“When my parents and I went to see Claudia at the end of the summer. I went with her to a frat party and there was this guy—he was so hot and mysterious—like, the most gorgeous, coolest guy you’ve ever met in your life—And I was drinking and I made a mistake. I took a pregnancy test three weeks ago, so I haven’t known that long.”
Well, that explained the craziness somewhat. My anger began bleeding out, because nothing I’d gone through could compare to finding out your whole life’s over. “Have you told anyone?”
“Just Cla
udia. She talked to the guy and said he wants a paternity test before he’ll do anything.”
“So you’re going to keep the baby?’
She shrugged. Another tear fell. “Ty kind of reminds me of him. I know it’s horrible, but I thought maybe we could suffer through this together.”
“You wanted me to get pregnant, too?!” Back to total anger.
“Not necessarily, I mean maybe. You having a broken heart would have been enough.”
I shook my head back at her. “That sucks, Nicole.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that, too. I didn’t mean to get so out of control, but you put up all that ladybug stuff, and it was like you were rubbing it in that my childhood, and even my teen years, were officially over. I was so mad at you.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. I’m not saying you should do it, but there’s always adoption. That way the baby gets a mom and dad that would give anything to have a baby. They’ll be ready to raise a kid. And you can still be a teenager.”
Nicole shrugged.
“You know, before the Clash of the Cheerleaders, me and the other girls probably would have been fighting non-stop over who gets to help take care of your baby.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. Babies are like the cutest thing on the planet. Every cheerleader sleepover would have been a clash over who gets to snuggle with the baby.”
“I guess it’s too late for that now.”
My phone rang from under my arm. I slid my arm off it and saw a number that wasn’t registered to my contact list. “Just a sec,” I told Nicole, then answered it. “Hello?”
“Hello, Hadley Cane?”
“Yes.”
“Hi. This is Connie Slider. I’m the social media manager for Channel 3 News. We’ve been getting calls about you all day from teachers and students at Silver Wing High School. I just watched the video of you and I’m calling because we’d like to feature you on tomorrow night’s news. Could we come over in the morning for an interview?”
“Seriously? You want to interview me for Channel 3 News?”