3. On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not at all important and 10 being critically important), how important is it for me to____________(get more exercise or improve my eating habits)?
4. What kinds of things have I done in the past to_______________(start exercising or eat healthier)?
5. Which of these strategies worked and which strategies didn’t? Why?
6. Some people say that they’re divided: They want to_______________(get enough exercise or eat healthier), but part of them doesn’t really want to change. Is this at all true for me?
7. On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not ready at all and 10 being very ready), how ready am I to work on_____________(getting enough exercise, such as setting aside time to work out, or eating healthier, such as stocking my kitchen with healthy foods)?
8. What could I start doing today or tomorrow to overcome___________(my exercise resistance or junk food habit)?
9. What was my life like before I_____________(became so sedentary or started overeating)?
10. How much does it worry me that I might return to old patterns of____________(being sedentary or not getting enough exercise or overeating) once I change them?
11. What makes me feel like I can sustain my progress?
12. What are my hopes for the future if I am able to_____________(become physically active, have a healthy diet, and/or lose some weight)?
13. How would my life be different if I_____________(started exercising, eating better, and/or lost weight and adopted a healthier lifestyle)?
Interpreting Your Answers: Exercise-Related Interview
Question 1: How is my current weight affecting my life right now?
There are really two ways you can go when answering this question. One is the obvious answer; the other is the deeper and more relevant answer. On the surface, maybe your response is that your weight is making you feel unattractive and even embarrassed. In short, you feel bad about yourself. This isn’t to suggest that this isn’t important—it is very, very important—but let’s also talk about other problems that you may not want to think about as much. Maybe your weight is keeping you from fully participating in life: You don’t go to parties because you think you look fat in dressier clothes. You love the beach but hate to go because putting on a bathing suit is a nightmare. You don’t play on the playground with your kids because it’s physically uncomfortable for you. Traveling isn’t fun because you hate having to squeeze into an airline seat, and sightseeing is a drag because you have all that extra weight to haul around.
Another thing you should think about is how your weight is affecting your health. You may feel fine and even get a good report from the doctor each time you undergo a checkup. But being overweight can take a toll. It’s the rare person that doesn’t develop some sort of adverse health effect related to being overweight. This may not be affecting your life now, but don’t ignore the fact that it could affect your life significantly in the future.
Consider the life you have now and consider the life you want to have. If they’re not the same, and part of that is because you’re uncomfortable with your weight, then you know you’ve got to make some major changes. Let regular exercise be one of those changes.
Question 2: How is being sedentary, or not getting enough exercise, affecting my life right now?
If you’re honest, lack of exercise in your life may be kind of a plus. It gives you more time for other things, you don’t have to spend any money on workout shoes or gym memberships, and you don’t have to put your body through some truly uncomfortable paces. Maybe you even love the fact that you don’t have to worry about having to deal with sweaty hair. So life without exercise is, well, pretty good.
On the other hand, is it really that good when you’re so out of shape that walking the length of the local mall is exhausting? Is it really that good when you’re cranky all the time? How about when you don’t have the strength to carry groceries, do work around the house, or even hold a crying child or grandchild that needs comforting for any length of time? If there was an emergency, could you pick up that child and run? You may have more minutes in the day to devote to work or personal interests, but is it worth the risk of illnesses that could potentially take away all of your free time? I’m simply asking you to weigh the pros and cons: What are you getting in exchange for not exercising, and is it worth missing out on the benefits?
Question 3: On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not at all important and 10 being critically important), how important is it for me to get more exercise and become more fit?
In chapter 4 you were asked to zero in on something that you felt could help motivate you to exercise regularly. If you gave the importance of fitness a 5 or lower, then you probably still haven’t found a compelling reason to be physically active. Perhaps you think that cutting calories alone will be enough for you; if that’s it, go back and take a quick look at chapter 6, which describes the results of the National Weight Control Registry study. Virtually no one succeeds at weight loss without some physical activity worked into the mix.
If you gave the importance of fitness closer to a 10, then you’ve taken a first step toward making exercise a reality in your life. What you’re going to need to work on now is how to get past the discomfort and other barriers that can keep even people who really believe activity is important from fulfilling their goals.
Questions 4 and 5: What kinds of things have I done in the past to start exercising or to step up the pace? Which of these strategies worked and which didn’t? Why?
These questions are meant to help you assess your past experience with exercise. There are so many things that stop people from exercising, among them bad relationships and a simple inability to juggle both life’s tribulations and a regular exercise schedule. Many people also give up on an exercise routine because they don’t feel capable while working out. Did you always seem to get tired out (or bored) before you reached one mile? Did you feel clumsy in exercise class? Did you never seem able to lift anything but the lightest weights? It’s easy to think that you’re just not good at exercise—that’s why you always quit—but before you come to that conclusion, think back on what did work, even if it happened a long time ago. Maybe it’s been years since you played tennis, but you really liked it. Could you start playing again? Maybe you used to walk with your former next-door neighbor, which made it so much easier to endure—you hardly noticed the miles going by. Could you enlist someone in your new neighborhood (or seek out a walking group; even start one with colleagues during your lunch break)?
It doesn’t really matter exactly what prevented you from exercising regularly in the past. What matters is that the potential for that bump in the road to derail you again has now been significantly reduced or removed. Assess your present circumstances with care. It’s also important that you be ready to get creative about finding ways to sustain exercise. Most of all, don’t let flashbacks of past failures hold you back. If you are motivated enough, you’ll be able to keep an exercise regimen going regardless of your previous experience with activity.
Questions 6 and 7: Some people say that they’re divided—they want to get enough exercise, but part of them doesn’t really want to change. Is this at all true for me? On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not ready at all and 10 being very ready), how ready am I to work on getting enough exercise, such as setting aside time to work out?
Because exercise is an imperative in our society—everyone from the surgeon general on down recommends it—there is probably a side of you that wants to comply, to do the right thing. But you may also feel ambivalent. You don’t like exercise, so deep down you don’t really want to do it. Be up front about your ambivalence. If you don’t admit it to yourself, you’re going to repeatedly start and stop exercising, always wondering why it doesn’t work out. You shouldn’t start an exercise program unless you’re deeply committed to it. This book is designed to help you find that level of commitment, so use the tools in the preceding pages to assist you. But d
on’t start until you’re ready to do the work.
And what does it mean to be ready to exercise? It means more than just wanting it to happen. It means that you are ready to take the time to sit down with a calendar and map out an exercise schedule. Or ready to inform your family that you are setting aside time for activity and that it’s nonnegotiable. Or ready to study up on a way to properly build up your workouts so that you don’t exercise so hard in the beginning that you feel terrible and quit. Be enthusiastic; yes, that’s half the battle. But being ready also means being prepared to deal with the practicalities of becoming an active person.
Questions 8 to 11: What could I start doing today or tomorrow to overcome my exercise resistance? What was my life like before I became so sedentary (or lowered my level of physical activity)? How much does it worry me that I might return to old patterns of being sedentary, or sporadic, about exercise once I change them? What makes me feel like I can sustain my progress?
How about starting small. Take a short walk outside and see if you don’t feel better when you get home. You probably will. That small effort may jog your memory. Think back on the times when you were more active. No doubt it felt good, especially if you were trimmer and stronger as a result. But even if you’ve never been active a day in your life (that you can remember), imagine what it could feel like in the future. Visualize feeling lighter and more energetic. Maybe you’re playing outdoors with your children, or hiking in the mountains, or on vacation, walking around a new city. You’ve doing it with vigor and no pain, and it’s immensely enjoyable. Keep these images in your head. They’re going to inspire you now—and help you stay inspired, too.
Still, past experiences have the potential to put you off exercise. Let’s amend that: past negative experiences. So if you’re worried that you might return to your old patterns of stopping and starting exercise, approach it differently than you have before. Choose a different activity, a different time of day, a different place. Enlist a workout buddy. Be creative and flexible so that you’re able to create a new pattern—one that you enjoy.
Questions 12 and 13: What are my hopes for the future if I am able to become physically active and/or lose some weight? How would my life be different if I started exercising (or ramped up my current level) and/or lost weight and adopted a healthier lifestyle?
Visualize yourself lighter and able to move more freely. Imagine being strong enough to lift boxes and groceries with minimal effort. Picture yourself going up stairs and chasing after a child without getting winded. These are some of the rewards of becoming a fit person. Allow these mental images to creep into your consciousness so that you can feel what it’s like to be a regular exerciser. It’s a little like practicing self-hypnosis. Letting yourself experience positive changes, if only through your imagination, can motivate you to strive to make those changes real. As you think about what the future will hold, see the life you want in front of you—then go out and make it a reality.
Interpreting Your Answers: Eating and Nutrition Interview
Questions 1 and 2: How is my current weight affecting my life right now? How are my eating habits affecting my life right now?
When thinking through the consequences of your current way of eating, you may have listed “high blood pressure” or “setting myself up for cancer,” or any of the other diseases mentioned in the Why List starting on page 91. Or disease risk might not have even made your list when answering these questions. Instead it could be something like not being able to join your family and friends for a walk or a shopping trip because your body weight makes moving around uncomfortable. Go back to these answers when your motivation flags—it’s a reminder of where you don’t want to be.
Along with the negatives, don’t censor yourself if some of the advantages to your current way of eating occur to you. In fact, take a few moments to think about that. Despite the heartache it’s causing, you wouldn’t be eating this way if there weren’t some benefits. For instance, you enjoy the high you get from food. Or, after exhausting internal battles over food, such as trying to restrain yourself from opening a bag of chips, giving in is simply a big relief.
So go ahead and write down both the negative consequences and the plusses. As you work on your eating issues, you’ll find that the new benefits far outweigh the old ones.
Question 3. On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not at all important and 10 being critically important), how important is it for me to change my eating habits?
As we emphasize throughout this book, motivation hinges largely on seeing that a behavior is important to you and believing you’ll benefit from it. If you answered a 5 or lower on this question, then go back and reread the Why List to see if that helps bump your number up a little. The more importance you place on nutrition and on regaining control over your eating habits, the easier it’s going to be for you to do just that.
Questions 4 and 5. What kinds of things have I done in the past to address my eating issues? Which of these strategies worked and which didn’t? Why?
Another key to motivation is the sense that you’re capable, that you feel you can handle the task at hand—in this case, changing your eating habits. In question 4, you’re listing ways that you’ve improved your eating before; in question 5, you’re narrowing it down to what actually worked, at least for a while. “Worked” means that you not only improved the nutritional quality of your diet and/or decreased cravings for unhealthy foods, but also that the habits you developed were ones that you could live with over the long haul. So many times people say they just love this diet or that diet, but talk to them a few weeks later, and they’ve burned out on it. “I just couldn’t keep eating all that salmon” or “Too much cooking was involved—I was exhausted.” But when you find some healthy cereals that you like, or you start taking a short walk at the time of day that you used to have a doughnut—and enjoy the walk—these are the successful changes that you should focus on.
What if nothing has ever worked when it comes to trying to overcome food addiction or eat a nutritious diet? Then shift to other accomplishments in your life: school- or job-related achievements, your ability to make and keep friendships, your parenting or leadership skills, or anything else you’re proud of and know you’re good at. Can any of those skills transfer to overcoming your diet issues? Keep in mind that if you were able to master other tasks, with the right mind-set, you can change your diet as well.
Questions 6, 7, and 8: Some people say that they’re divided—they want a nutritious diet and to feel in control around food, but part of them doesn’t really want to change. Is this at all true for me? On a scale of 0 to 10 (with 0 being not ready at all and 10 being very ready), how ready am I to work on improving my diet and/or gaining control over food? For instance, am I ready to experience the momentary discomfort of not giving into a craving? What could I start doing today or tomorrow to tackle my eating issues?
These questions reveal how ready you are to change your eating habits. Answering them honestly, it could turn out that you’re not very ready or enthusiastic about it—maybe question 6 revealed some ambivalence (totally normal), or you scored, say, a 2 on question 7. That’s okay—a 2 is better than a 0. And if you wrote down 0, give it a little more thought. Are you sure you’re not ready to do anything, even something small such as adding a fruit or a vegetable to your day? If it’s truly 0, then read through chapter 3 and see if you’re willing to try any of the suggestions. If not, come back when you do feel more ready. Meanwhile, you might be up for making some changes on the exercise front (chapter 4) or addressing emotional issues (chapters 2, 5, and 7).
If you approach treating your food addiction (or other diet issues) smartly, with realistic goals and approaches that fit into your life, you’ll usually find that after a while 2 moves up to a 3, then a 5, and so on. As you gain mastery on the food front, resistance starts melting away. In the Nine step Program starting on page 98, we’re going to help you start off on the right foot. Where to begin? Give some
thought to question 8 on what you could do, and we’ll offer up more ideas in chapters 2 and 3.
Questions 9, 12, and 13: What was my life like before, when my diet was more nutritious and I felt more in charge of my food choices? What are my hopes for the future if I’m able to gain control over my diet and lose weight (if needed)? How would my life be different if I started eating a nutritious diet and lost weight (if needed)?
Put all your fears and insecurities about changing your eating habits on hold while you answer these questions, and imagine how you’d feel if you were in control of your diet and eating healthfully. Allow yourself to relish the sensation of leaving a meal satisfied but not stuffed, of being able to put one scoop of ice cream in your bowl, enjoy it, and not feel compelled to return to the freezer the rest of the night. If you’re currently overweight, picture yourself at a healthy weight, being able to walk with greater ease and more energy. These are images you can conjure up when you need a shot of motivation.
Questions 10 and 11: How much does it worry me that I might return to old eating patterns once I change them? What makes me feel like I can sustain my progress?
Even things that worked may not have worked for long—that’s probably why you’re reading this book. Question 10 gets at your fear that even if you make changes again, they may not last. If you’ve lost and gained back weight repeatedly, it’s natural that you might not feel all that capable of sustaining a weight loss. Here’s a little fact to boost your confidence: As we reported earlier in this book, 90 percent of the successful weight maintainers in the National Weight Control Registry went through cycles of weight loss and regain. The average maintainer in this study lost a mean of 565 pounds before the weight loss finally stuck.
The Life You Want Page 27