by Nora Roberts
"I was thinking we could take that trip back east once you're out of here. You can work on your tan and nag me about stress points." His fingers tightened uncontrollably on hers. "For God's sake, Abra, don't leave me."
He thought-or perhaps it was only a wish-that her fingers pressed just for an instant against his hand.
* * *
"You've got to get some rest, Cody."
He'd been staring at the same paragraph of the newspaper for twenty minutes. Now he looked up and saw Nathan. "What are you doing back here?"
"Putting my foot down with you." Nathan sat on the couch beside him. "I left Jack at the hotel. If I can't go back and tell her I convinced you to take a break, she's going to insist on coming out herself."
"I'm doing better than I look."
"You'd have to be to still be conscious."
"Be a pal, Nathan." He gave himself the luxury of sitting back and closing his eyes. "Don't push."
Nathan hesitated. He wasn't the kind of man who interfered in other people's lives. There had been a time when he'd chosen not to become involved at all. That had been before Jackie. "I remember saying almost the same thing to you once when I was confused and upset. You didn't listen, either."
"You were being too stubborn to admit your own feelings," Cody said. "I know what my feelings are."
"Let me buy you something to eat."
"I don't want to miss Bost."
"How about an update on Thornway?"
Cody opened his eyes. "Yeah."
"He made a full confession." Nathan waited while Cody lit a cigarette. The ashtray was already littered with them. "He admitted to substituting materials, the payoffs, the bribes. He claims he was drunk and in a state of panic after you and Abra confronted him. He made the call to arrange the arson with some kind of crazed idea that no one would be able to prove anything against him if the project was destroyed."
"Didn't he think there would be an investigation?" Cody expelled a quick stream of smoke. "Did he think we'd all just keep quiet about it?"
"Obviously he didn't think."
"No." Too drained even for anger, Cody stared across the room, where Jessie dozed on Barlow's shoulder. "And because he didn't think, Abra was almost killed. Even now she could be-" He couldn't say it. He couldn't even think it.
"He's going to spend a lot of years paying for it."
"No matter how many," Cody murmured, "no matter how much, it won't be enough."
"Still up and around, Mr. Johnson?" The young resident walked in, looking as though he'd slept in a packing crate. "I'm Dr. Mitchell," he explained to Nathan. "I patched your friend up, oh-" he glanced at his watch "-about eight hours ago." He looked back at Cody. "Hasn't anybody chained you to a bed yet?"
"No."
Mitchell sat and stretched out his legs. "I pulled a double shift, but I still don't feel as bad as you look."
"Thanks."
"That was a free medical opinion. I ran into Dr. Bost up in the lab." He looked longingly at Cody's cigarette, reminded himself he was a doctor and subdued the urge to ask for one. "He was just finishing up with the results of Miss Wilson's tests."
Cody said nothing, could say nothing. Very slowly he leaned forward and crushed out the cigarette.
"It looks good, Mr. Johnson."
His mouth was dry, too dry. He couldn't find the saliva to swallow. "Are you telling me she's all right?"
"We're moving her from critical to guarded condition. The scan and the X rays don't indicate brain damage. She's got one whopper of a concussion, to couch things in unprofessional terms. Bost should be down in a few minutes to give you the details, but I thought you could use a little good news. She came to briefly," he continued when Cody remained silent. "She recited her name and address, remembered who was President and asked for you."
"Where is she?"
"It's going to be a little while before you can see her. She's sedated."
"That's her mother." Cody rubbed a hand over his face. "Her mother's sitting over there. Will you tell her? I've got to take a walk."
"I've got a bed with your name on it," Mitchell said, rising with Cody. "The best way to stay close to your lady is to check into our little hotel. I can recommend the chicken surprise."
"I'll keep that in mind." Cody found his way out and walked.
Abra wanted to open her eyes. She could hear things, but the sounds ran through her mind like water. There was no pain. She felt as though she were floating, mind and body, inches off the ground.
She remembered. If she forced her mind to focus, she remembered. There was the sun shooting in red-and-gold fingers through the dome, and a sense of contentment, of purpose. Then came the fear.
Had she screamed for him? She thought she had, but that had been before that horrible noise had thundered around her. There was another memory, but it was unclear and dreamlike. She had gone flying- Something like a hot, invisible hand had scooped her up and hurled her through the air. Then there had been nothing.
Where was he?
She thought, was almost certain, that he'd been with her. Had she spoken to him, or was that a dream, too? It seemed to her that she'd opened her eyes and seen him sitting beside her. There had been a bandage on his face, and his face had been drawn and pale. They'd spoken. Hadn't they spoken? With the drugs clouding her mind, she struggled to remember and was frustrated.
Jessie. Her mother had been there, too. She'd been crying.
Then there were strangers' faces. They'd peered down at her, shone lights in her eyes, asked her foolish questions. Did she know her name? Of course she knew her name. She was Abra Wilson and she wanted to know what was happening to her.
Maybe she was dead.
She'd lost track of time, but so had Cody. He'd spend every minute he'd be permitted to, and as many more as he could fight for, beside her. Two days had crawled by. She'd been conscious off and on, but the medication had kept her drowsy and often incoherent.
By the third day he could see that she was struggling to focus.
"I can't stay awake." For the first time he heard petulance in her voice, and he was cheered by it. Until now she had accepted everything without complaint. "What are they giving me?"
"Something to help you rest."
"I don't want any more." She turned her head so that she could look at him. "Tell them not to give me any more."
"You need to rest."
"I need to think." Annoyed, she tried to shift. She saw the cast on her arm and fought to remember. It was broken. They'd told her it was broken. There was a cast on her leg, too. She'd been confused at first, wondering if she'd been in a car accident. But it was becoming easier to remember now.
"The buildings. They're gone."
"They don't matter." He pressed his lips to her fingers. "You gave me a scare, Red."
"I know." She was beginning to feel now. Whenever she was awake for this long she began to feel. The pain reassured her. "You're hurt."
"Couple of scrapes. You're having pain." He was up immediately. "I'll get the nurse."
"I don't want any more medicine."
Patiently he leaned over and kissed her just below the bruise on her cheekbone. "Baby, I can't stand to watch you hurt."
"Kiss me again." She lifted a hand to his cheek. "It feels better when you do."
"Excuse me." The nurse bustled in, all business. "It's time for the doctor to examine you now, Miss Wilson." She shot Cody a look. He'd given her more than his share of aggravation over the past few days. "You'll have to wait outside."
"Yes, ma'am."
"I'm not taking any more medication," he heard Abra say. "If you've got any needles on you, you'd better lose them."
For the first time in days, he laughed. She was coming back.
In another week she was frantic to get out. The night nurse caught her trying to hobble into the corridor. Cody ignored her pleas to smuggle her into the elevators. The doctor scotched her compromise suggestion of outpatient care.
Abra found herself trapped, her arm covered with plaster, her leg in a cast to the knee. She'd gone through phases of anger and self-pity. Now she was just bored. Miserably bored.
When she awoke from a nap she'd taken in self-defense, she saw a woman in her room. She was small and obviously pregnant and had a wild mop of red hair. As Abra looked, she shifted around the arrangements of flowers and plants.
"Hello."
"Hi." Jackie turned and beamed a smile. "So you're awake. Now Cody's going to yell at me because I chased him downstairs to the cafeteria. He's gone from lean to skinny in a week. He'll be gaunt in another couple of days." She walked over to the bed and made herself comfortable beside it. "So how are you feeling?"
"Pretty good." It was easy to smile. "Who are you?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm Jack. Nathan's wife?" She glanced around. "Even with the flowers, hospitals are depressing, aren't they? Bored?"
"Stiff. It's nice of you to come, though."
"Cody's family. That makes you family, too."
Abra glanced toward the doorway. "How is he?"
"He gets better as you get better. We were worried about both of you for a while."
Abra glanced back and studied Jackie's face. She'd had a lot of time to study faces in the last week. This one was friendly and-thank God-cheerful. She'd spoken of Cody as family, and Abra was certain she'd meant it.
"Will you tell me something?" Abra began. "Straight?"
"I'll try."
"Will you tell me what happened? Every time I try to talk to Cody about it he changes the subject, evades or gets angry. I can remember most of it, but it's patchy."
Jackie started to evade, as well, but then she looked into Abra's eyes. Eyes that strong, she decided, deserved the truth. "Why don't you tell me how much you remember?"
Satisfied, Abra relaxed. "We'd gone out to the site, then into the main building. It was still dark, so Cody went out to the car for a light. I was looking around. You know about the switch in materials?"
"Yes."
"When I was alone and looking around, I saw what I took at first for a bunch of drywall compound. It was plastic explosive. I ran for the door." She half lifted her casted arm. "I didn't get there."
Jackie realized she'd been right about the strength. It wasn't fear she saw but determination, laced with what she imagined was a healthy dose of frustration.
"Cody was still outside when the building went up. He managed to get through and find you. I don't know the details about that-he doesn't talk about it-but it must have been terrifying. He managed to drag you out. He told me he thought you were dead."
"It must have been horrible," Abra murmured. "Horrible for him."
"Abra, he's blaming himself for what happened to you."
"What?" She shifted, fought off a twinge of pain and struggled to sit up straighter. "Why should he?"
"He has the idea that if he had dropped the ax on Thornway straight off…if he hadn't wanted to go out there that night… if he hadn't left you alone in the building. If."
"That's stupid." She found the control button and brought the head of the bed up.
"What's stupid?"
Jackie glanced over as Cody walked in. She rose and moved over to pat his cheek. "You are, honey. I'll leave you two alone. Where's Nathan?"
"Took a side trip to the nursery."
She laughed and patted her belly. "I'll join him."
"I like her," Abra said when they were alone.
"Jack's hard not to like." He handed her a rose, careful, as he had been careful for days, not to touch her. "You've got a roomful of flowers, but I thought you might like to have one to hold."
"Thanks."
His eyes narrowed. "Something wrong?"
"Yes."
"I'll get the nurse."
"Sit down." She gestured impatiently toward the chair. "I wish you'd stop treating me like an invalid."
"Okay. Want to take a quick jog around the block?"
"You're a riot."
"Yeah." But he didn't sit. Restless, he roamed the room, stopping off by the table, which was loaded with flowers. "You got some new ones."
"Swaggart and Rodriguez. They called a truce long enough to bring me carnations. They were fighting when they left."
"Some things never change."
"And some things do. You used to be able to talk to me, and to look at me when you did."
He turned. "I'm talking to you now. I'm looking at you now."
"Are you angry with me?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not being ridiculous." She pushed herself up, wincing. Cody's jaw tightened. "You come in here every day, every night."
"I must be furious to do that." He walked to her with some idea of helping her settle comfortably.
"Stop it." She took an ill-tempered swipe at his hand. "I can do it myself. A broken arm's not terminal."
He nearly snapped back at her before he bit down on temper. "Sorry."
"That's it. That's it. You won't even fight with me." She gestured with her cast, which was crisscrossed with signatures. "All you do is pat me on the head or hover over me or ask me if I need anything."
"You want to go a couple rounds, fine. We'll take it up when you're on your feet."
"We'll take it up now, damn it. Right now." She pounded a frustrated fist on the bed. She couldn't even get out of bed by herself and pace off the rage. "You've treated me like some kind of slow-witted child these last few days, and I've had enough. You won't even talk to me about what happened."
"What do you want?" The strain that had stretched his emotions to the breaking point finally snapped. "Do you want me to tell you what it was like to see that building go up and know you were inside? Do you want me to describe to you what it was like to crawl through what was left, looking for you? Then to find you half buried, bleeding and broken?" His voice rose as he strode toward her, and he gripped the rail along the side of the bed, his fingers white. "Do you want me to go over how I felt waiting in this damn place, not knowing if you were going to live or die?"
"How are we going to get beyond it if we don't?" She reached for his hand, but he snatched it away. "You were hurt, too." Her own temper and frustration broke free. "Don't you know how it makes me feel to see your hand, your face, and know it happened because you went back for me? I want to talk about it, damn you. I can't standing lying here and trying to reconstruct it."
"Then stop." He waved his hand and sent a pitcher flying. There was some small satisfaction in hearing the plastic hit the wall. "It's over and it's done. When you get out of here we're not going to look back. You're never going to put me through anything like this again. Do you understand?" He whirled back to face her. "I can't stand it. I want you out of here. I want you back with me. I love you and I'm sick of lying in bed at night and sweating through what might have happened."
"What didn't happen," she shouted. "I'm here, I'm alive, because you saw to it. You didn't cause this, you jerk. You saved my life. I love you too much to sit here and watch this eat at you. It's going to stop, Johnson. I mean it. If you can't come in here and treat me normally, don't come at all."
"Stop this." A nurse hurried in. "We can hear you arguing all the way down-"
"Get out!" both of them shouted in unison.
She did, shutting the door behind her.
"You want me to leave, I'll leave." Cody stalked toward the bed again, this time sending the railing down with a crash. "But not before I have my say. Maybe I do blame myself for this. And that's my business. You're not going to sit there and tell me how I should feel or what I should feel. I've played along with your way of doing things too long already."
Abra set her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"No strings, no commitment, no long-term plans. Isn't that the way you set things up?"
"We agreed-"
"I'm through agreeing, and I'm through waiting until the time's right, the place is right, the mood's right. Did you hear what I said a
few minutes ago? I said I loved you."
"You didn't say it." Abra frowned down at her hands. "You yelled it."
"Okay, I yelled it." He sat beside her, barely controlling the urge to shout again. "Now I'm saying it, and I'm saying you're going to marry me. And that's the end of it."
"But-"
"Don't." His temper vanished so abruptly that he could only press his fingers to his eyes. "Don't push me now."
"Cody, I-"
"Just shut up, will you?" He dropped his hands, thinking-hoping-he'd regained control. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, a shouting match with you flat on your back. It seems whenever we plan things out it doesn't work. So here it is, Red-no plans, no design. I need you. I want you to marry me, to come back east and live your life with me."
She looked up and took a long breath. "Okay."
With a half laugh he rubbed his hands over his face. "Okay? That's it?"
"Not exactly. Come here." She held out her arm and took him to her. For the first time in days he held her as if he meant it. "You probably heard what I said a little while ago, about being in love with you."
"You didn't say it." His lips curved with a combination of pleasure and relief as he pressed them to her neck. She was warm and very much alive, and she was with him. "You yelled it."
"It's still true." She eased him back so that she could look at his face. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For putting you through all of this."
"It wasn't your fault," Cody told her.
"No, it wasn't." She smiled, curling the fingers at the end of her cast into the fingers at the end of his bandage. "It wasn't yours, either. It's not something I'd like to go through again, but it did push you to ask me to marry you."
"I might have done it anyway." He grinned and brushed his lips over her fingers. "Maybe."
She lifted a brow. They'd crushed the rose between them. Carefully Abra smoothed out the petals. "I have a confession. I was going to come east whether you wanted me or not."
He drew away to study her face. "Is that right?" "I thought that if I got in your way often enough you'd get used to it. In my head I told myself I was going to let you walk away, but in my heart…I wasn't going to give you a chance."
He leaned closer to kiss her. "I wasn't going anywhere."