I sense his frustration and anger with me. I close my eyes and plead with my mind to shut down. I open my eyes again and watch the red numbers of the clock change until it's time to get ready for school. I slip out of Lennox's hold and walk to the closet to get dressed. I pick jeans and a simple black top and black sandals. I hear Lennox sit up in bed when I walk out of the closet and into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and put my hair up in a simple ponytail. I apply mascara and leave the bathroom, finding Lennox standing right in front of me.
"You didn't sleep well." I nod in response. "I expect you to call me if you want to leave early."
"Okay." I answer walking past him. He goes into the bathroom turning on the shower and I leave. Grabbing my book bag on my way out of the front door. I don't want to wait for him. I want to walk and breathe without him.
It only takes ten minutes to walk to school. I see a few other cars already here and walk through the front double doors. I find my locker and grab the books I need for first and second period.
The door to my first class opens as I get closer and I sigh. At least I don't have to wait in the halls. I smile at the teacher and sit on the far side by the window. The class starts to fill up shortly after. I hear a couple hushed conversations about me but I don't bother to pay attention. The teacher starts lecturing just as the door slams open. I look at the door confused to see Lennox standing there. He motions for me to come to him and I do mindlessly. What now? Because I left without telling him? Big deal, I didn't tell him. Look the world didn't end when I did something for myself.
He pulls me outside the door and closes it shut. He takes my hand walking us out of the building and to his truck. "I left my bag."
He doesn't respond just puts me in my seat and shuts the door. I roll my eyes, I understand that he likes taking care of me, but at this point he's making me feel completely inept to do anything. I can't take the electives I want in school, I still can't run with the pack, I can't leave the house without telling him, I can't get in and out of the truck without help, this is all too much.
I wait until he gets in the truck. "Is this because I left without telling you? Because I'd rather you just yell at me so I can get back to school."
I hear his grip on the steering wheel tighten. "Are you trying to make me mad as payment for your sister leaving?"
"No." I answer, truthfully.
"Then why are you deliberately provoking me?"
"It's not deliberate. I just don't care if you’re mad about anything anymore. I shouldn't have to tell you I'm going to school, you knew where I was."
"You don't care that you're making me angry." He states. Not asking a question, more like he's repeating what I said and now he’s trying to understand it.
"You don't have any reason to be mad. I can't help that I'm upset about my sister leaving and I won't apologize for it. If there's nothing else, can I be excused and go to class?” He starts the truck and reverses out of the parking spot.
"Where are we going?"
"Home."
"What about school?" I ask.
"The only thing you need to concern yourself with is me."
I look at him. "What does that even mean?"
"It means were going home and you're going to satisfy my every want and need."
I watch him shocked. He expects me to just lay down and- What am I even thinking? Of course he does. When he pulls into the driveway I start feeling my heart rate quicken. He parks and comes around to my side I open the door before he can get to me and scramble out. He growls low in his throat and I act like I can't hear it as I walk to the door. I open the door feeling the heat from him along my back.
"Upstairs." He orders. I turn to the stairs and start walking up them slowly. It occurs to me my plan to piss him off backfired when I feel his hands cup my butt. I gasp and speed walk up the rest of the stairs. I run to our bedroom and turn putting my hand up to hold him off.
"I don't want to." I say, looking at him nervously.
His eyes are mercilessly scanning my body and I realize my mistake, I ran. His eyes are dilated and full of need as he steps closer. "Lennox." I try again, but he grabs my waist and pulls me to him. He picks me up holding me higher as his head lowers to my neck. His lips brush my mark, instinctively I give him better access. He moans nipping at my flesh and I whimper as my body responds to him.
He moves us over to the bed trailing kisses down my chest. He hooks one hand beneath my knee and braces my back with the other, laying me down on the bed his large body covering mine. He pushes against me igniting my pleasure as he kisses me roughly. I dig my nails into his back when he rubs against me again, earning a low groan. He sits up pulling my pants and underwear off quickly. He doesn't let anything register in my head before his head is buried between my legs licking and suckling. I grip the sheets and raise my hips wanting more. When I'm at the cusp of completion he grabs my waist and trusts into me, almost pushing me over the edge. He picks me up and turns us so that now he's sitting against the headboard and I'm on top. His hands bring my hips down against him as he arches his back, embedding himself inside me as deeply as possible. He holds me still as he nibbles on my neck, making me moan and buck against him. As he starts to play with the hood of my sex I try moving and fighting against his hold. I cry out, needing the friction. He finally snaps picking me up by my hips and slamming me down on his shaft repeatedly. He shifts our positions forcing me back until he's back on top, I grip his butt as I come undone my nails digging in as he finds his own release.
*********
Learning Curve
Alpha Lennox Hall
I pull her towards me instantly feeling guilty for my behavior. I just don't know how to reach her. How else can show her I care about her more than anything? I've never felt resentment towards my mother and father until I realized how lacking I am in saying how I feel. I'm angry, not only at her for not seeing how much she means to me, but myself as well.
The only apology I've ever given has been to her and I don't think making her rice crispy treats will make up for my behavior this time. I love her and I don't want to upset her. Knowing she's hurting is killing me, but I have responsibilities and I lead a strong pack. I won't bend the rules for a wolf like Theo Robinson.
I feel her body refusing to respond to my touch, she hates me and I don't know what to do to fix it. I gently turn her towards me taking in her tear streaked face. I wipe her face and kiss her fresh tears. Letting my feelings for her flow through me. I watch for any sign she feels what I feel. She looks up underneath her makeup smeared eyes. My heart pounding fiercely as I take in her beauty. "I'm sorry, about everything. I don't want to take you from your sister. I know you think I should let them stay, but I can't do that. It's not a matter of making me look weak, it's a matter of doing what is right. I can't pick and choose who will be exempt from my laws, it wouldn't be fair."
She looks back down and continues to cry. What can I do? What does she expect from me? I sit up. "Tell me what you want from me?" I question defeated.
"I expect you to feel a little more remorse about making my family leave. I expect you to let me grieve and-"
"It does matter to me." I state honestly.
"It only matters because I'm upset. You called them my fake family. You dismissed them from my life like they were nothing, like my time with them was nothing." She accuses.
I feel my irritation raise. She should resent the fact they lied to her like I do. "You don't care that your family is a lie? They lied to you for almost eighteen years." I point out.
"Can't you listen?" She screams at me sitting up. "I do care! I hate that they lied to me! It doesn't change the fact that we were a family for eighteen years! I love them they're my family. How can you pretend to love me when you don't know a thing about me? Just get away from me and leave me alone." Her anger and hate directed at me.
I look at her small figure, completely at a loss. "It's hard for me to understand your love for people that have lied to you.
I told you about my own parents, there was no love lost in either of those relationships. I don't understand your loyalty to them. To me they're undeserving. I admit I can't comprehend something I've never had a choice but to lose. I'm not pretending to love you, I do." I explain standing up. I'll leave her alone if that's what she wants, but not before I say what I have to say. "I love the way you blush and your completely innocent sincerity. Your capacity for forgiveness and love astounds me. When you walk into the room my need to touch you is almost overwhelming, I find myself watching you, trying to learn something new. You're not boring even if you think so, you fascinate me." I look down on her bowed figure. I lean over and kiss the top of her head. I pick up a pair of basketball shorts off the floor and leave the room. I dress just outside the door and walk to the office, ignoring the pain from her rejection.
I start working on land regulations and filing permits to expand my mining operations. It's something I had in the works for the last few weeks and time is getting tight on my deadlines. Two hours later, even with so much to do I can't stop thinking about Jocelyn. I'm worried about her eating habits. From what I've seen she's always had a healthy appetite, yet with me she doesn't seem to eat as much. Maybe I should take her something? I hear her soft footsteps to the door and a knock.
"Come in." She comes in with a plate with a sandwich and chips. "You don't need to knock." I tell her. She doesn't respond but walks towards me in a tight white tank top and dark grey leggings. I watch her every move as she sets the plate in front of me. I fist my hands tightly to keep from grabbing her.
She moves cautiously around the desk, keeping her head down. When she stops beside me I turn to face her trying to figure out what she's doing. She lifts her arms, wrapping them around my neck and lifts her legs one my one to sit on my lap. I'm almost nervous to touch her but the need is too great. I wrap my arms around her, my hands resting on her waist.
She leans forward and kisses my neck. "I'm sorry." She whispers and my hands tighten on her. I wait for her to continue. "I blamed you for not knowing me. When it's me who hasn't tried to get to know you. I assumed so much about you and it wasn't right."
I pull her closer hugging her against my chest. "It's not your fault. I'm not used to this, I'll get better." I reply, knowing it's not entirely her fault. I know I'm not an open book. I shut down most of my reactions and keep my thoughts to myself. I've learned to not be so closed off with her, but it's still hard to do at times.
"Let's move on." She says calmly, "I know what you're doing is fair and just for the rest of the pack. I understand even if I don't like it. I'm just going to have to visit and speak to them when I can. I'll miss my sister but I don't hold you responsible. You'll let her come whenever she wants, right?"
"Yes." I answer, apprehensive to say anything more. I don't want to spoil this by saying the wrong thing.
"Are you busy?" She asks.
"No." I reply, automatically.
Jocelyn's POV
What is wrong with me? I watch Lennox leave and my heart sinks. I've judged him for doing something he had no choice to do. Granted he was still wrong to say it was a fake family, but he didn't like the thought of someone lying to me. To him it's unforgivable, a lie is a lie. He's never had to forgive someone, it's never came up for him. He's never loved someone and chose forgiveness and moved on. Lennox doesn't know what having a family means, he has no clue. As much as he can't understand me needing my family, I can't comprehend him not needing a family. What has it been like for him never having anyone? The isolation I've been feeling isn't anything compared to what he must have felt. I've never been alone he's been with me and I just didn't think he was enough. I close my eyes thinking about the hurt I must have inflicted on him.
I climb out of bed and go to the bathroom to take a shower. As I wash my body I can't help but wonder about Lennox. I want to assure him I accept him. Although a she wolf’s bite isn't needed especially in an alpha mate situation it will show my loyalty to him. It won't deepen our bond but it could strengthen our relationship. I need to do something for him, I feel like I've been so selfish. I want to start over, really try to understand and get to know my mate.
I turn off the shower and step out, grabbing a towel to dry off. I blow dry my hair and get dressed before going down stairs. It's a little after noon so I go to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and take out turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo. I make him a sandwich and put chips next to it on the plate. Carrying the plate I walk to the office door. I knock once.
When I hear his voice telling me to come in I feel anxious and nervous. I pay close attention to my feet at I walk to the desk and set the plate down. I hear him say something but I'm not really listening. I start walking almost on autopilot to him wrapping my arms around his neck, certain he's going to turn me away. I feel his arms rest on my hips and I lean forward hesitantly. I kiss his neck and whisper, "I'm sorry." Feeling like it's just not enough. He pulls me closer hugging me against his chest. I relax into him enjoying just being in his arms. "I blamed you for not knowing me. When it's me who hasn't tried to get to know you. I assumed so much about you and it wasn't right." I explain ashamed. I listen to him telling me it's not my fault, but I barely hear him. "Let's move on. I know what you're doing is fair and just to the rest of the pack. I understand even if I don't like it. I'll have to visit and speak to them when I can. I'll miss my sister but I don't hold you responsible. You'll let her come whenever she wants, right?" I ask.
"Yes." He states.
"Are you busy?" I question.
"No." He replies, quickly.
I smile. "Good. Let's do something together." I suggest.
He nods. "Anything."
"Wanna run?" I question. He shakes his head no and I laugh. "Didn't you just say anything?"
He smirks. "We'll get three feet out that door before my wolf is on you. Since I'm guessing that isn't what you had in mind for spending time together, I advise something else."
"Oh, okay. Movie?" I suggest.
"Perfect." He agrees, standing up and carrying me out of the room. He turns right once we're out of the office door and walks to the door at the end of the hall. I open it for him and we start doing down a set of stairs. At the bottom he turn on the lights. I see a large flat screen plasma television with speakers on both sides. The large sofa with lots of pillows looks inviting he sets me down and turns on the TV. He flips the channels until we get to the movie stations and hands it to me to pick. I select Hunger Games and it starts playing. Lennox sits next to me I smile up to him resting my head on his chest.
"What's your favorite food?" I ask.
"Apple's."
I sit up to look at him. "Out of everything there is, you pick Apple's?"
"I really like them." He shrugs. I smile at his simple answer and lay back down on his chest. A question a day should do. I'll continuously learn something new about him every day.
At the end of the movie Lennox suggests we eat and I follow him up the basement steps. He makes us sandwiches since the one I made him earlier isn't good anymore. "Why do you always insist on heating up my meals or making them?"
"I like to do things for you. It makes me feel needed." He answers sliding the plate towards me.
I didn't expect that answer. I pick up my sandwich taking a bite. "Well, thank you for taking care of me."
"It's my pleasure." He smirks. A knock on the back door behind me makes me turn. Liam comes in. "Are we training today?"
"No, take today off."
Liam nod his head and leaves. "I should probably do all the homework he brought to me." I say.
"We need to talk about that."
"Okay."
"When you go to school you'll be guarded. That's why I was mad earlier. You left without protection. Your father doesn't know where Rachel is and I don't want her coming here. I don't think she would, but as a precaution until they locate her you'll have protection when you leave the house without me."
"You reall
y think that's necessary?"
"No, but it's for my piece of mind."
"You don't think it's necessary, but it would make you feel better?" I ask, to clarify.
Top of Form
"Jocelyn, you could get pregnant at any point. I don't want to jeopardize your protection or our pup on what I think will happen, because anything could happen."
"You're right." I say, thinking about being pregnant. Am I ready for that? Should I ask him to start using protection until I know for sure? "Would you start using condoms if I asked?"
He looks at me guarded. "Why?"
"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." I reply truthfully.
I can see he's not happy. "You're telling me this now?"
"Well, I didn't really think I would get pregnant. I just ended my period. I'd like to be more cautious now, if that's okay?"
"It's fine."
"Are you mad?"
"No, just a little disappointed. I'm ready for a family, its okay that you're not. I can wait." He says reassuringly.
**********
Visiting Bottom of Form
After getting ready for school I poke my head into Lennox’s office. "I'm leaving. I'll see you after school."
"Come kiss me goodbye first." He orders with a smile. I feel his eyes on me as I make my way to him. I lean down and kiss his lips quickly. "Liam is waiting for you in the driveway." He says, huskily. I nod and turn to leave, I feel his eyes on me as I close the door and shiver.
I walk to the front of the house just as Liam comes in. "Ready?" He asks when he sees me.
"Yeah, sorry I didn't know you were waiting for me." I apologize.
"Don't worry I just got here. I have your book bag in my truck."
"Thanks." I say, following him outside. I notice an SUV behind his truck. "How many men are guarding me?" I question curiously.
"Five total." He answers as he sits behind the wheel.
The Wolf's Prey Page 13