by Nora Roberts
“I don’t like to leave you alone,” he murmured.
“There’re a million people out there.” She yawned and snuggled down. “I’ll hardly be alone.”
“I’d rather be with you.”
“Don’t worry about me, Jordan. I’m going to look for a sweatshirt and some jeans for Alison. Something cheap and symbolic that she can grub around in.”
“For making mud sculptures?” He felt the smile tugging at his mouth again.
“Mmm-hmm.” She smiled, remembering the expression on his face the first day she and Alison had made them. “And I want to see all the Christmas decorations. I’m going to have a lot more fun than you are.”
“Can you break off from your busy schedule to meet me for lunch?”
“Hmm, maybe. Where?”
“Where would you like?” He knew he should be up and dressing, but he found it impossible to move.
“Rajah,” she said drowsily. “West Forty-eighth Street.”
“Two o’clock, then.”
“Okay. Did I bring my watch?” she asked him.
“I’ve never seen you wear one.”
“I keep it in my purse so it doesn’t intimidate me.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I have to get up. If I stay much longer, I’ll have to make love with you again.”
She lifted her face, and her eyes were half-closed. “Promise?”
He drew her back to him.
“Twenty minutes late.” Agnes gave her watch a hard look. “That’s not like you, Jordan.”
“Sorry, Agnes.” He settled back in a leather chair. Agnes sat behind a six-foot desk. It was piled with manuscripts and memos. Jordan had always felt that sitting behind that desk, she looked like a general waging battle.
“Well.” She saw the humor in his eyes and leaned back, a pencil tapping on her lip. “I hope it was worth it.”
Jordan lifted a brow and said nothing. Agnes had expected nothing else. She had never been able to bait him. A very cool character, she thought, not for the first time. She remembered the animated woman he had brought with him the night before. An interesting combination.
“About your collaborator,” Agnes began, pushing a few papers aside. “Is she as good as you were led to believe?”
“Better,” he told her.
She nodded. “Then it’s money well-spent.”
“I want her to have a percentage of the royalties.”
“A percentage of the royalties?” Agnes scowled and shifted in her chair. “You contracted her for a flat fee.”
“She’s to have that as well.” Jordan sat back and laced his fingers.
“Jordan, the fee you’re paying her is very generous.” Her voice was patient. “Your personal life is one thing, but business is business.”
“This is business,” he countered. Jordan’s voice was patient, too, but firm. Agnes recognized the tone and stifled a sigh. As well as being cool and cautious, he was stubborn, and she knew it. “I never expected, when we wrote up the original agreement, that I’d be able to draw so much out of her. Agnes, the book’s nearly as much hers as it is mine. She’s entitled to benefit from it.”
“Ethics.” Agnes sighed. “You have such a sterling character, Jordan.”
“So do you, Agnes.” He smiled at her. “Or you wouldn’t be my agent.”
Agnes shrugged. “What percentage did you have in mind?”
Kasey fought her way through Gimbel’s and loved every minute of it. She’d run into a sale and had three sweatshirts and two pairs of jeans tucked into her shopping bag. Shopping was something she did rarely, but when she did, she did it passionately. She could spend three hundred dollars on a dress without a qualm and haggle furiously over a five-dollar sweater. She pushed her way through the crowds and scrambled happily through racks of bargains as she shot from store to store.
Passing a window, she spied an inch-high pewter unicorn and rushed inside to dicker over the asking price. A pang of hunger reminded her of the time, and she began to search through her purse for her watch.
“Six-twenty-seven,” she muttered, frowning at it. “I don’t think so.” She tossed it back into her purse and smiled at the clerk who was boxing her unicorn. “Do you know what time it is?”
“One-fifty.” He responded to the smile.
Deciding she could make twenty blocks in ten minutes at an easy jog, she took off without hailing a cab. When she arrived at Rajah, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were brilliant. She passed through the elaborate entranceway and stepped inside.
The heat rushed to meet her. It felt wonderful after the stinging cold, and she pulled off her gloves to stuff them into her bag.
“Madam.”
She turned her smile on the mâitre d’. “Jordan Taylor.”
“Mr. Taylor just arrived.” He bowed in her direction. “This way, please.”
Three hours of shopping and no breakfast had left her famished. Jordan watched her coming toward him and rose.
“Hi.” She kissed him, then let him help her off with her coat.
“You were serious about the shopping, I see,” he commented, glancing at the bag before she tucked it under the table.
“Deadly,” she agreed as she accepted a chair. “I bought you a present. You can have it after I see the menu. I’m starving.”
“Some wine first?” He gave the order to the captain at his elbow while Kasey buried her face behind the menu.
“The Crab Goa’s always good. And the Barra Kabab.” She put the menu down and grinned. “I think I’ll have both. Shopping gives me an appetite.”
“Everything seems to,” Jordan commented wryly. He took her hand, needing to touch her. “I’ve watched you eat. It’s amazing.” He brought her hand to his lips. “Did you really buy me a present?”
“Yes. It’s in the bag with Alison’s sweatshirts.” Kasey reached down to forage and brought up the box. “You can open it if you promise to order immediately afterward.”
“Agreed.” He lifted the top of the box and uncovered the unicorn.
“It’s for luck,” Kasey told him as the captain brought their wine. “You can’t go wrong with a unicorn. I almost bought you a bumper sticker with a lewd saying, but I didn’t think it would look quite right on your Mercedes.”
“Kasey.” Touched, he took her hand again. “You’re outrageously sweet.” Jordan tasted the wine and nodded to the captain. “The lady will have the Crab Goa and Barra Kabab. I’ll have the Fish Curry.”
“How hungry are you?” she asked when the captain withdrew.
“Hungry enough, why?”
“I was wondering if I’d get any of your fish.” She smiled when he laughed and slipped the small box into his pocket.
“So you bought me a unicorn and Alison sweatshirts. Did you buy anything for yourself?”
“No.” She tossed her hair out of her eyes, then settled her elbows on the table and cradled her chin on her hands. “There were some earrings in the shop where I got the unicorn, flashy little drops in scrolled gold, but they wouldn’t bargain with me. I was in the bargaining mood. And I got hungry.” She grinned and reached for her wine. “How was your meeting?”
“Fine.” He had debated discussing the royalties with her and had decided against it. She might object, citing Agnes’s argument about the original agreement, and in any case, he didn’t want business to intrude on their time together. They had only one night left. “I’ve another one at four with Germaine. He’ll probably ask me to use my influence to talk you into writing that book.”
Kasey laughed and shook her head. “I think the writing’s safer in your hands. But give him my best.”
“What would you like to do tonight?” A basket of bread was placed before them, and Kasey dove into it immediately. “Would you like to see a play?”
“Mmm, a musical.” She buttered the bread lavishly and offered him some. Jordan shook his head, smiling as she took a hefty bite. “Something with a lot of flash and a happy ending.”
“I’ll meet you back at the hotel at six?”
Kasey nodded, then reached for more bread. “Okay.” Narrowing her eyes, she calculated the time between six and curtain. She smiled over the rim of her glass. “We’d better plan on having a late supper.”
Kasey was dreaming. It was a familiar dream, too familiar, and her mind struggled to reject it before it took hold. She was alone, abruptly dropped down into a pure white sea in a small boat. She knew what would happen next and tried to push the image aside. But she wasn’t strong enough.
The boat began to rock as the wind picked up, but she had no sail, no oars to guide herself. The water stretched as far as she could see. There would be no swimming for land. She was lost and alone and afraid. She was only a child.
When she saw the ship coming toward her, she shouted for it, steeped in relief. Her grandfather was at the helm, and raising a hand, he tossed out a life line. Before she could reach it, another ship floated up to her right. The wake of the two ships set her small boat rocking dangerously. Water hurled into her face and was soon ankle-deep on the deck. She was caught in the middle as each ship tried to draw her aboard.
She couldn’t reach her grandfather’s life line. The waves were knocking her around the boat until she screamed in frustration and begged him to come for her. He shook his head and drew the line away. She was sucked closer to the second ship. And the waves grew high until they tossed her into the sea. Water closed over her head, cutting off her air, her light.
“No!”
She shot straight up in bed, covering her face with her hands.
“Kasey.” Her cry had roused Jordan from sleep. He reached for her and found her cold and quivering. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Just a dream.” She fought for control. “I’m all right, it’s nothing.”
Her voice was shaking as desperately as her body, and though she resisted, he pulled her closer. “You’re not all right. You’re like ice. Hold onto me.”
She wanted to do as he said but was afraid. Already she depended on him too much. She’d handled the dream alone before, she would handle it again. “No, I’m all right.”
Her voice sharpened as she pulled out of his arms. She struggled out of bed and drew on her robe. When Jordan switched on the bedside lamp, she began to hunt for her cigarettes. He watched her as he reached for his own robe. There was no color in her face, and her eyes were dark with fright. She was shaking from head to foot, and her breath was still trembling.
Finding her cigarettes, she fumbled to pull one out. “I’m a scientist; I know what a dream is.” She covered her mouth with her hand a moment hearing the jerkiness of her own voice. Her teeth were chattering. “A sequence of sensations, images or thoughts passing through a sleeping person’s mind. It’s not real.” She picked up Jordan’s lighter, but her hand shook and she couldn’t work it.
Quietly he crossed to her. Taking the cigarette and lighter from her hand, he set them back on the table. “Kasey.” He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling her shudder convulsively under his palms. “Stop this. Let me help you.”
“I’ll be all right in a minute.” She stiffened when he drew her close again. “Jordan, please. I can’t stand to fall apart this way. I hate it.”
“Do you have to handle everything by yourself?” He was stroking her back, trying to warm her. “Does needing comfort make you weak? If I needed to be held, would you turn away from me? Kasey, let me help you.”
With a sob, she was clinging to him, her face pressed against his throat. “Oh, Jordan, it frightens me as much as it did the first time.”
Without speaking, he picked her up and carried her back to bed. Keeping his arm tight around her, he drew her against his side. “You’ve had it before?”
“Since I was a child.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. He could feel the racing of her heart. “I don’t have it often anymore. Sometimes years.” She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. “When I have it, it’s always the same, always so vivid.”
Her trembling had lessened, but he kept her tight in the circle of his arms. She was bringing out something new in him: the need to protect. “Tell me about it.”
She shook her head. “It’s just foolish.”
“Tell me anyway.”
She was quiet a moment, then, with a sigh, she began. Her description was short and her words were unemotional, but he could sense the feeling beneath them. It was childishly simple to understand, but then, it had been the dream of a child.
“I never told my grandfather about it,” she went on. “I knew it would upset him. I only had the dream twice the whole time I was in college.” Her voice had grown steadier and her hold on Jordan less desperate. “I had it once when I read a rehash of the custody case by some enterprising reporter who’d picked up on it when one of my uncles had been running for re-election. And again the night before graduation. I’d put that down to too much beer and the pressure of delivering the valedictorian address.” She sighed now and felt her body relax.
“And since then?” He had felt the fear and tension pour out of her. Her body was warming.
“A couple of times. Once when Pop was in the hospital with pneumonia. It scared me to death; he’s always bursting with health. Once on a dig. We’d had to shoot a rabid dog. It broke my heart.” She felt safe and grew sleepy again. Now she’d given him her trust as well as her love. She was content, for the moment, to be cared for. “That was two years ago. I don’t know what set me off tonight.”
He heard her voice thickening and said nothing. She’ll sleep now, he thought and stared up at the ceiling. He wouldn’t. His mind was too crowded with Kasey Wyatt.
When he had first met her, he had thought her a tough eccentric with a great deal of charisma. Now he realized there was far more to her than that.
Her breathing was even now, and quiet. Tomorrow they would return to Palm Springs and complete their work on the book. In another few weeks, Kasey would be finished with her work. Then it would be up to him.
Reaching beside him, Jordan found his cigars and matches. He lit one and smoked in silence while he listened to Kasey breathing deeply in sleep.
10
In two weeks it would be Christmas. Kasey could feel the time rushing by her. The brief interlude in New York had done much to settle her. She felt in control again—of her nerves, of her situation. What she had with Jordan, she was able to accept again without all the doubts and discomfort which had been piling up. She loved him, needed to be with him. When the time came to pay the price, she’d pay it. Still, she wished time wouldn’t move so fast.
For Alison’s sake, she would have liked Christmas to come quickly, but for her own, she could wait. She would have drawn out each day, each hour. After Christmas would come the new year. With the new year would come the time for her to go.
Watching the child’s simple pleasure helped to keep Kasey’s mind off herself. For two short weeks she could spend her free time making the holiday come alive for the girl. The elegant red garland and silver bells that Kasey had seen the staff unpacking weren’t really Christmas. She had spent one stiff, formal Christmas in her life. That was enough for her.
“Jordan!” Kasey dashed down the stairs and burst into Jordan’s study. “You’ve got to see this. Come upstairs.” She was pulling on his arm and laughing.
“Kasey, I’m in the middle of something here.”
“Put it down,” she ordered. “You work too hard.” She leaned over and gave him a quick, hard kiss. “It’s really terrific. You’re going to love it,” she promised. “Come on, Jordan, you can be back at work before your typewriter knows you’re gone.”
She was difficult to refuse under any circumstances, but when she was pulling on his arm and laughing like this, it was impossible. “All right.” He rose and allowed her to drag him toward the stairs. “What is it?”
“A surprise, of course. I’m crazy about surprises.” Upstairs she pushed open the door
to her room and motioned for him to enter. He did, then studied the room in silence.
Red and green paper chains hung everywhere, crisscrossing and draping from wall to wall. They wound down the bedposts and framed the windows. Cardboard angels, Santas and elves hung from doorknobs and balanced on dresser tops, and a red felt stocking overflowed with candy canes. There was a bright gold star suspended from the center of the ceiling.
Jordan took a turn around and faced Kasey again. “Redecorating?”
“I didn’t do it.” She rose on her toes and kissed him again. He delighted her when he used that dry tone. “Alison did. Isn’t it wonderful?”
“I can certainly say I’m surprised.” Shaking his head, he looked around again. “And I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”
“You should see the bathroom,” Kasey told him. “It’s spectacular!”
He smiled at Kasey and sent an elf spinning on its string. “And, of course, you told her you loved it.”
“I do love it,” Kasey countered. “It’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me. She wanted me to feel at home for Christmas. And now I do.”
Jordan reached out to touch her hair. “If I had known paper chains would make you happy, I’d have made some myself.”
Kasey grinned and threw her arms around him. “Do you know how?”
“I think I could manage it.”
“Can you string popcorn?”
“Can I what?” He was distracted from kissing her hair.
“String popcorn,” Kasey repeated, linking her hands around his neck. “What I’d really like to do on Christmas Eve is string popcorn for the tree. And I want to get Alison a puppy.”
“Wait a minute.” Jordan drew her away. “Sometimes it takes me just a minute to catch up.”
“Just say yes to both and think of the trouble we’ll save. I can’t bear a tree without popcorn strings, Jordan. It’s positively naked. And Alison needs a puppy.”