“We’ll replace them,” Faith explained as Sofie fingered one of the forks bent over a branch.
“Don’t you dare worry about that.” Her friend’s eyes grew warm. “He cut you down a tree?”
She lifted a shoulder and dropped it. “Yeah.”
“Oh my gosh.” Sofie’s eyes were wide. “He likes you.”
If she only knew. Connor told Faith he loved her. And they’d shared several special, intimate moments no one would understand unless they were here and saw them play out.
“Really likes you,” Sofie repeated, looking up at the massive tree.
“I like him, too.” Faith went to the kitchen and rinsed the mug she drank coffee from yesterday. When he had surprised her with a cup of coffee from the packet he’d found in her purse.
Faith could feel her curious presence in the kitchen, but her best friend said nothing.
After she’d poured half the steaming coffee into the mug, Faith turned. “What, Sofe? What are you thinking?”
With a blink of her green eyes, Sofie walked over and rested her hands on the countertop. “I know you went through hell with Michael. And I know you are afraid to trust again. But what I know for sure is if this is real for you and Connor, the way it is for Donovan and me, the way it is for Charlie and Evan—”
“This isn’t that.” It couldn’t be that. What her friends had with their guys was…well, it was a long-term relationship with intertwined pasts. Faith may have known Connor in passing for a minute several years back, but they had no real history to fall back on.
“But if it is,” Sofie continued, “then you owe it to yourself to open up and let him in.” She held up her hands and backed a few steps away. “That’s it. That’s all I’m saying. I’ve said my piece.”
“It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about…everything over the last couple of days, you know.” She screwed the top back on the thermos Sofie brought and lifted Connor’s mug. “Not like there’s a lot to do in here.”
“Mm-hmm. I see that.” Arms crossed over her chest, her friend slid her eyes to the floor under the kitchen table before pegging Faith with a smug smile.
One of Faith’s shoes—one of her very fancy shoes—rested on its side on the linoleum. Shoes she had no business wearing in a cottage covered in snow unless she’d put them on to prance around for Connor’s benefit. When she met Sofie’s eyes, she was still grinning.
“Okay, there were a few things to do.” She lost the battle and returned her friend’s smile.
Sofie bit her lip—to keep from laughing—but Faith wondered if she wanted to say more. Probably wanted to remind her how things had started out hot and heavy with her and Donovan and ended up with the two of them completely in love.
But that was Sofie’s story. Not hers. Faith had given the road to Blissville a shot with Michael, and it hadn’t worked out. Even though she didn’t mind hanging out with Connor, or sleeping with him—come on, who wouldn’t like that?—love and marriage and kids were a whole different ball game.
An entirely different sport.
The honeymoon would end eventually. Faith hoped Sofie and Donovan lasted. Hoped when they encountered strife, they made it through the hurdles that always came and found their way back to happiness. Charlie and Evan seemed to have hit their hurdles early, and passed the test without incident. Those two were a matched set.
Again, Faith pictured Gloria and Asher, and how very hurt they were whenever they were around each other. They were proof things didn’t work out for everyone. There was a fifty-plus percent rate of divorce in this country, for Pete’s sake. It wasn’t like Faith wasn’t being realistic.
“Can I say something else?” came Sofie’s small voice as Faith headed for the front door with a filled mug for Connor.
She felt herself deflate. “Can I stop you?”
Sincerely, Sofie said, “Yes.”
“I love you but I’m not sure if I can handle any more truth.” The truth from Sofie’s view of things—her pie-in-the-sky worldview.
“Fair enough.” She could tell it was hard for her friend to keep her opinion to herself. And honestly, Faith had not kept her opinions to herself, either, when Sofie was going through her stuff with Donovan. But right now, Faith was feeling so…raw. Vulnerable. Another slash of truth might be the blow that drew blood.
Outside in the sunny but frigid weather, she handed over half her coffee to the man occupying her present and, possibly, her future. Before tasting the steaming drink, he kissed her, pressing his cold nose to her cheek. “Thanks, Cupcake.”
When she turned, she caught Donovan’s eye. His lips pulled, his expression uncertain. Faith wondered what he and Sofie talked about when it came to their best friends. Did Donovan share Sofie’s hopefulness? Or did he see trouble coming? Did he see, because he and Sofie had a seven-year break, that maybe Faith and Connor would not work out until some time had passed between them?
Or maybe not. Maybe she was simply in the way of a task two really good-looking men were trying to complete. That seemed safer, so that’s what she chose to believe.
“I’ll let you get back to it,” she mumbled, and scampered back into the cabin.
* * *
At her apartment, Connor pulled her suitcase out of his truck and walked with her up the stairs. He used his key to let them in and turned off the alarm on the wall.
Faith stepped in behind him, taking in a deep breath. She felt like she hadn’t been home for a week, though they were only gone a couple of days. Her little Christmas tree sat in the dark, looking sad, even with presents still under it.
A switch clicked, and her tree blinked to life.
“Technically, it’s still Christmas. Dinner at Mom’s tonight.” He walked through the hallway with her suitcase, calling behind him, “They probably bought you something, but you don’t have to reciprocate. They won’t expect it, anyway. So no feeling bad about it.”
She twisted her fingers together and chewed her lip. The very last thing she wanted to do today is go to his parents’ house and be around his entire family. Just thinking of Kendra’s and Dixie’s penetrating stares was enough to make her want to crawl into bed and hide there.
Everything she and Connor had shared these past few days, the intimacy, the aloneness, had been perfect. But now, back in her apartment, surrounded by her things—by reality—she was feeling out of sorts.
“Tonight,” she said quietly. “I forgot about that.”
“Yeah?” He stood in front of her and palmed her jaw. “You’re probably beat. I sure as hell am.”
“Exhausted.” She hoped he took the hint. “All I want is a hot shower and my bed.” Smiling, she added, “Maybe watch A Christmas Story three or four times.”
“Sounds like the perfect day.” He studied her a little too closely, and for a moment she worried he might argue with her, or try to make her go with him tonight. She bristled for the possibility, but he surprised her. “You should stay home if you don’t want to go.”
“Really? You don’t mind?”
“Not like you’re excited or anything, are you?” His lips twitched, amused.
“It’s not that I don’t want to see everyone.” Even though it kind of was. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the invitation…” Embarrassed, she looked down at her fingers.
“Cupcake, I get it. It’s a big family thing. You don’t have big family things. Besides, they aren’t dating you, I am. Long as you let me back in tonight when I come over, you won’t get any argument from me.”
She tipped her chin, said nothing.
He ducked his head and looked into her eyes. “That okay? If I come back?”
It wasn’t like him to ask. What an odd juncture. “Of course.”
“Good. Call me if you need anything.” He gave her a soft, brief kiss, and headed for the front door. Then he left. She watched the deadbolt click and heard him call through the panel, “Alarm, Cupcake.”
Obediently, she strode over and set the f
our-digit code. She blew out a breath and closed her eyes, and without thinking of one other thing, walked to the bathroom and pulled on the shower.
* * *
Gifts had been opened, and his nephews were in the other room playing with their new toys. Connor’s father was lounging on his recliner in front of the television, paying the rest of the family no mind.
Dixie and Mom were looking at old photo albums. That left Connor, who was palming a beer and standing in front of the family’s Christmas tree under the pretense of walking down memory lane. But it wasn’t the ornaments from when they were kids that held his attention. The only thing on his mind was Faith.
“Okay, where is she really?” This came from Kendra, who was also holding a bottle of beer and doing her impression, dead-on, he might add, of a prying older sister.
“I wasn’t lying, Ken. She’s at home, beat. Probably scared her off with that Thanksgiving voodoo ritual the two of you perform in the attic every year.”
This earned him a punch in the arm. She squeezed his biceps when he didn’t flinch. “Good God. I remember when you used to be little. You are a monster, you know that?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“If you don’t tell me what happened, then I’m just going to guess.”
He gave her the side-eye. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on. I’m not as clueless as Mom. And I’m not as wrapped up in myself as Dixie. The last time I saw the two of you together, I could see you were enamored with this girl. Now I see you without her, and I have to tell you, baby brother, you look kind of heartbroken.”
He took a pull of his beer and rolled his eyes. “Kendra, I am not heartbroken. She’s at home. She’s expecting me tonight. We’re good.”
“But it’s not advancing the way you’d like it to?” she guessed. Accurately.
Why? Why didn’t he have brothers?
“No complaints on my end,” he told her. “It’s good.” Sure, he may have dropped the I-love-you bomb a little early, but Faith knew he wasn’t going to push her on this. And, proving he wouldn’t, he had let her stay home without forcing her to come here. He bet if he’d kept on her about it, he could have convinced her to come, but that wasn’t what she wanted. He respected that.
“You do realize the last girl you brought home for a holiday was Maya, right?”
He sighed and walked away from the tree. Kendra followed him.
“I like Faith,” she said. “I think whatever stuff you’re dealing with, maybe you should let her in. Maybe you should share things with her. Tell her about Afghanistan. Tell her you’ve been lonely since you came back home. Tell her…”
Getting that his sister wasn’t leaving him alone anytime soon, he spun on her. Keeping his voice down, he used a sharp tone to get his point across. “Tell her I love her?”
“Oh, Connor.” Kendra’s mouth snapped shut. Then her eyebrows bent in concern.
He pulled a hand through his hair, frustrated. While he would’ve liked to blame his frustration on his sister, he suspected this was his delayed reaction over Faith’s reaction to his heartfelt admission. Over her non-reaction.
“I told her about Afghanistan,” he said to the ugly wood paneling in the room. “She told me she got the truth out of the two of you first.”
Kendra winced. “Yeah, sorry about that…”
“I don’t care about that,” he said honestly. “I want her to know. Just like I wanted her to know about Maya. Just like when I realized that I was falling for her, I thought she should know.” He shrugged. “We were snowed in at this little cottage. I cut her down the Christmas tree. We shared meals, wine…” A pregnancy scare. “I know it’s fast. I didn’t expect her to jump in and tell me she loved me, too. I still don’t expect her to.” Another deep sigh. But he’d like to know there was a possibility for a future.
Kendra’s hand wrapped around his arm again, showing support with the gesture. “Hey, it’s only one family dinner, right? There’ll be plenty more McClain meals she can attend. And it sounds like you two have shared a lot with each other. I’m sorry I brought it up. I guess I assumed—”
“You assumed your baby brother wasn’t dealing with his shit. Thought you’d come over here and set me straight.”
His sister’s mouth curved into a sardonic smile. “All right. I’ll give you that.”
They clanked the necks of their beer bottles together and drank.
“Your turn,” he said. “Tell me who you’re dating. And why he isn’t here.”
“He.” Her eyebrows went up and her mouth quirked. “That’s a big assumption.”
His lips twitched. Ken and her secrets. “I see you have more to talk about than I first assumed.” He dipped his chin at her now-empty beer bottle. “Refill?”
“Refill.”
Connor dumped their empties in the recycling bin and walked to the garage to get two more beers, looking forward to getting to talk to his sister. To chill out with his family. To enjoy the holiday the best he could without his girl on his arm. But that was okay, he reminded himself. Because he’d be at Faith’s place in a few short hours and crawl into her bed.
Or so he thought.
When his cell phone rang an hour later, his plans changed in a heartbeat.
* * *
How long did family Christmas functions last, anyway?
Faith had emptied the bottom of her wine bottle into her glass and frowned at the red liquid. When she opened the wine an hour or so ago, she assumed she would be sharing the bottle with Connor.
Of course, she realized it was ridiculous to be jealous of him spending time with his family when she had elected not to go with him, but it didn’t stop her from being upset he wasn’t here.
When her glass was again empty, and her eyes grew heavy, she found herself getting almost angry she hadn’t heard from him yet. It was midnight. Surely, Dixie and Tad had put the kids to bed by now. Surely Kendra had gone home and his parents had retired for the night.
She picked up her cell phone and cleaned the screen with her sleeve. In the background, A Christmas Story played on DVD for the umpteenth time, the chant of, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” having lost its novelty the third time around.
Maybe she could text him. A simple “good night :-)” would be a good way to let him know she was not waiting up for him, but also wouldn’t be too aggressive. Just as she was keying in the message, her phone rang.
Connor. His instinct on the nose, as per his usual.
She smiled and answered with, “About time. I was beginning to wonder if your sisters had a Christmas ritual that involved gagging you with ribbon.”
“Faith, it’s Kendra.”
“Kendra?” It took her a second to regroup when Connor’s sister’s voice came over the line. And she sounded scary serious. “Everything okay?”
“No. We are at the hospital…”
Her entire world narrowed into one small circle. Her brain stopped processing the meaning behind Kendra’s words. The only thing reverberating through Faith’s mind was the word hospital. Connor was in the hospital?
“…Not looking good. I thought you should know. Connor is pretty torn up. I offered to call you, and he let me.”
Wait…
“I’m sorry, Kendra. I think I missed something. Did something happen to Connor?”
“No! No, oh my gosh, I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear. I bet I just scared the life out of you.”
She had. Faith’s hands were shaking. Her everything was shaking.
“It’s Jonas. His friend from the army? He attempted to take his own life late last night. His ex-wife happened to be in town and stopped by with his daughter. They found him…” Emotion clogged Kendra’s throat, and her next words came out quiet and garbled. “Oh, Faith. It was awful. Anyway, he’s lost a lot of blood. He’s in intensive care now.”
Jonas. Blood. What had he done? Faith lowered herself to the couch, her hand gripping the arm.
“I can’t come to the hospital,” she said vacantly. “I drank an entire bottle of wine.”
“It’s okay. I don’t think this is a place you want to be. Just thought you should know that Connor isn’t going to be coming over to your house tonight. He didn’t want you to worry.”
Tears began streaming down her cheeks. Well, she was worried. Not because Connor wasn’t showing up at her house, but because his best friend was fighting for his life in an intensive care unit.
“Can you please tell him to call me as soon as he can?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
Faith thanked her and hung up the phone, then stared at the screen until it went dark. If she hadn’t drank as much as she did, she would be in her car heading over to the hospital right now.
More than anything, she wanted to be there for him. But then again, didn’t Connor have enough people there for him now? And, she had the selfish passing thought that if he really missed her, he would’ve called himself. It was nice of him to ask Kendra to call, but didn’t couples who meant something to one another tend to call in person during emergencies?
She dropped her phone and closed her eyes, pressing her palms to her face. That was the wine talking. Using her feelings of inadequacy to salve over her worries. Suddenly, she couldn’t sort her emotions. She was feeling angry and sad and nervous and overwhelmed all at the same time. Maybe it was better that Connor hadn’t called. Who knows what she would have said?
Kendra promised to have him call her later. Faith would be here for him when he did.
* * *
Connor had met Jonas’s wife and daughter once, right before his wife split. He and Jonas had both been on leave, back in the Cove, and as far as Connor knew, Mindy was perfectly fine and dandy. Sure, she was rigid. Flat line of a mouth, straight dark hair, leading down to her waifish figure. She was thin, but unlike Faith, too thin.
A Bad Boy for Christmas Page 26