“In her face and form, yes. Beneath that she is ugly. Never forget that that beautiful woman set her own child in the arms of a dying woman living on the desolate moors and never gave another thought to the child.” He grimaced. “As if you ever could, for that was a time of grief for you. But that is the true Beatrice. Cold and deadly. That is what I saw when I finally had the blinders taken from my eyes. And that was before I learned the whole truth, a truth that revealed just how deeply ugly she really is.” He kissed Chloe’s cheek. “You are far more beautiful. Your beauty goes to the heart.”
Chloe had no chance to respond to what she considered was a ridiculous piece of flattery, for the carriage came to a halt in front of Leo’s home. She allowed Julian to help her out of the carriage and then tried to hurry into the house ahead of him, but he was far too quick for her. Instinct told her that she had just lost all chance of escaping his attention for the evening. It was cowardly to even considering hiding in her room, but that did not make the thought any less tempting.
She inwardly sighed with resignation when she heard him order Wynn to bring them some wine before he led her into the blue salon. Chloe had to wonder if Julian had chosen the room purposely. Leo did have another salon, after all. They did not have to sit in this one.
“Sit, Chloe. We need to talk,” he said even as he pulled her down onto the settee beside him as if he did not trust her to obey him.
That was probably wise of him, Chloe thought, and nearly grinned. Her good humor was fleeting, however. She had a sinking feeling she knew what he was going to talk about. There were not that many topics he would look so serious about, and since they talked freely about Arthur and Beatrice, that left only her exam and the marriage he and Leo were planning on. As Wynn served them some wine and then left, Chloe tried to prepare herself for what could well be a very uncomfortable conversation.
“First I would like to beg your forgiveness for what you had to suffer through earlier today,” he said, staring into his wine, for he felt awkward looking at her while he spoke on the intimate exam she had had to endure. “I did not do it just to prove to myself that you were pure. You do know that, do you not?”
“I know that. It was for Anthony. There must be proof that he is not my child, or someone could try to steal what is his rightful place as your heir. It is the only reason I allowed it to be done. For him.” She was not about to tell him that she had wondered if he had needed to reassure himself of her innocence. It had only been a passing doubt, and telling him about it would do no good, could only insult him.
He cleared his throat with a sip of wine. It surprised him, after all the sin he had indulged in for the last year, that he found it so awkward to speak about her exam. Julian supposed it was because it had been such an intimate thing and he knew she was a complete innocent. He had been well trained to be careful in how he spoke to a virginal miss, and some lessons could not be shaken off.
“And now we must speak about the marriage,” he said and sighed when she grimaced. “I will be a good husband to you.”
“I never thought you would be a bad one,” she said.
“Then why have you refused to say yes?”
“Why should I offer an answer when I was never asked a question?”
“Ah, you wish to be proposed to.” He took her hand in his and kissed her palm, pleased when she shivered slightly. “Marry me, Chloe.”
“That is still not a proposal.”
“Chloe, you were prepared to give me your innocence. Right here on this settee. If Leo had not interrupted us, that exam you had this afternoon would have been a waste of time. It was not well done of me, but I did it, and—”
“Now you must pay the consequences?” she snapped.
Julian sighed and dragged his hand through his hair, ruining his queue. “I do not think of marrying you as a consequence. I will be honest and say that I had thought to never marry again. Can you blame me for that thought?”
“Nay. I daresay I would feel much the same if I had suffered like you. Although it is no compliment to be thought of in the same breath as Beatrice.”
“I know you are nothing like Beatrice. For one thing, you make me smile and she never did. Neither did I need to get her in my arms simply because she is in the same room with me. I do not know how to explain this to one who is so innocent, but you enflame me with just a look. I knew I should leave you alone, that you are a virgin miss and that I am still married in the eyes of the law and the church, but I could not.”
That was a very flattering thing to hear, but Chloe struggled not to let it turn her head. “Desire is not a good reason to get married. Marriage is forever. Desire fades. I am the penniless daughter of a knight and my own mother cast me off. I live on Leo’s charity. You, m’lord, could do so much better than that in a wife.”
“No, I could not. And do not belittle the importance of passion, Chloe. It is important in a marriage. And there is more. I trust you.”
“In everything?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have suffered the sting of an unfaithful wife. Do you trust me to be faithful to my vows, or will you always be watching for me to betray you as she did?”
Julian stared at her for a moment. He thought about her question, even imagined a few incidents that could look suspicious, yet he found he did not immediately feel threatened by them. At some point during his stay at the Wherlockes’, he had come to trust Chloe in every way. It surprised him, but he was glad of it. Not only did he know such constant doubt and mistrust would sour a marriage, but it would also sour him.
“No, I will not. I said I trust you and I do. I know you will hold as firmly to your vows as I will.”
Chloe breathed a sigh of relief, but she was still not sure what he offered was enough. She feared she was being foolishly greedy. Julian was the man she wanted, but she had thought they would just have an affair. That would be a disaster in the end and she knew it, but she was not sure she should step into a marriage simply because they both wanted to fall into a bed.
“Chloe, I also like you. We enjoy each other’s company. We can talk about so many things, so there will be no long, silent meals with me at one end of the table and you at the other. And, Chloe, you love my son.”
“Ah, aye, I do. And with you comes Anthony, is that what you are saying?”
“What I am saying is that no matter what my thoughts on marriage were, I feel that at some time I would have begun looking for a mother for him. I can think of none better than you, none I would trust to love him as he deserves to be loved.”
“So what you offer me is passion, liking, trust, good company, and Anthony.”
He just stared at her and she sighed. It was a lot more than she had thought she was getting from him, and she really could not say what else she wanted. Yet it was such a big step to take. Marriage was forever. Could she marry a man who did not speak of love? And did she even love him? Did it even matter?
“What about my gift? My visions? My family that is riddled with such gifts?”
“I cannot promise to believe in all of them, but they do not frighten me.”
“And if we have children?”
“I am hoping that we will and if they, too, have gifts, I will still love them. And you have family enough to help them learn how to deal with whatever gift they are born with.” He took both of her hands in his. “I know you fear that I will flee as so many in your family have done, leaving wives, husbands, and children. I swear I will not do that. It is not something I can prove to you now, is it. You will just have to trust in my word.”
She stared at her hands in his and then at his face. He was so handsome he made her heart hurt. Chloe suddenly knew that if she did not at least try to make a strong marriage with him, she would regret it to her dying day.
“Then I will marry you.”
When he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, Chloe decided that there was one good reason to marry him. She did not believe any other man co
uld ever make her feel the way he did. Her whole body ached for him.
She cried out in surprise when he lifted her into his arms and strode toward the door. “What are you doing?”
“I plan to show you the importance of passion,” he said.
“Now? What about Leo? What if he comes home?” she asked as he carried her up the stairs to his bedchamber.
“I do not believe you need to worry about him.”
Chloe had no chance to argue that. Julian carried her into his room, kicking the door shut behind them, and tumbled her down onto his bed. He kissed her and she quickly forgot what she wanted to argue about. Curling her arms around his neck, she kissed him back with all the passion that was burning through her veins. It was as if every feeling he had stirred inside her with every kiss and every touch had remained lurking inside her and was now flooding her whole body. Chloe knew she would never tire of kissing this man.
She tensed a little when she realized he was not only caressing her, he was removing her clothes. No man had ever seen her naked. Even during that humiliating exam, her modesty had been protected as much as was possible. She forced a sudden attack of shyness aside and began to undo the buttons on his coat and waistcoat. If she was going to be exposed, then so was he.
Julian needed to see her naked. It was a need that demanded to be fed, but he tried to be careful as he stripped her of her clothes. He could see her blushing and he did not want to frighten her with the ferocity of his hunger for her. He paused when he got her stripped to her shift and, keeping his gaze fixed upon her lithe body, he stood up and began to shed his own clothes. It was only then that he noticed she had been trying to get his clothes off as well. He certainly had not undone his coat or waistcoat.
It proved to be highly arousing to take his clothes off before her. The way she watched him, her cheeks flushed and her breathing rapid, fired his blood as much as it flattered him. Julian did not think he had ever been so enflamed simply by the way a woman looked at him. He hesitated only briefly when it came to remove the last of his clothing. She was a virgin, after all. Then he shrugged and decided it was best to begin as he meant them to continue. He intended to spend a lot of time naked with Chloe.
Chloe stared at him when he was finally fully naked. He was beautiful, she thought. Dressed he was handsome and elegant, a true gentleman of society. Naked he was somehow more manly, more primal. She reached out to touch the erection that jutted out from a thick nest of golden brown hair and he groaned.
Even as she started to withdraw her hand, afraid she had done something wrong, he joined her on the bed and finished stripping her of her clothing. Chloe shivered with pleasure at every brush of his fingers against her skin as he unlaced her shift and pulled it off over her head. When he sat back on his heels and stared at her, however, all the warmth of desire began to slip away. She was all too aware of the fact that she did not have the lush curves Beatrice did.
Julian ran his hands down her sides, savoring the feel of her soft, warm skin beneath his hands. Her skin was unmarred, her body slender yet holding all the womanly curves any man could desire. He wanted to bury himself deep within her immediately, but he knew he had to go slowly. The very last thing he wanted to do was give her pain. A little was probably unavoidable but he was determined to make it as little as possible.
He slid his hands up her rib cage and covered her breasts. Her nipples hardened and pressed against his palms, begging for his kiss. With a soft groan, he bent his head and granted their wish. The soft cry that escaped Chloe and the way she clutched at his shoulders pleased him more than he could ever say. There was a deep well of passion in Chloe Wherlocke, and he intended to wallow in it.
When Julian’s mouth covered the tip of her breast and he drew her aching nipple deep into his mouth, Chloe felt all of her desire rush back. She clutched at his shoulders, wanting to hold him close even though he showed no sign of leaving her. When he moved his mouth to her other breast the cool air dried the warm dampness he left behind, and she gasped at how good it felt. The way he suckled her made an ache begin low in her belly, need throbbing there with every draw of his mouth.
Chloe slowly moved her hands over his broad back, trailing her fingers down his spine, and back up again. He growled softly and she heard his pleasure in the sound. That proof that he enjoyed her touch as much as she did his encouraged her. The heat of his skin seeped into her blood and enhanced the passion that was burning inside of her. In her curiosity about the body that was giving her so much pleasure, she smoothed her hands over his taut buttocks. He shifted against her and the feel of the hard length of him rubbing against her womanhood sent a blaze of fire right through her.
She murmured in disappointment when he began to kiss his way down to her stomach, for she could no longer reach all the way down his back. He slid his hand over her thigh and stroked the place where she now ached almost beyond bearing. His touch was both shocking and soothing, but all too soon his touch was not enough. Instead of shying away from such intimacy, Chloe opened to it. When he slid a finger inside her, she tensed for just a brief moment, the humiliating memories of the earlier exam trying to break through the haze of desire in her mind. Then he kissed her again and the chilling effect of those memories vanished.
Julian slid another finger inside Chloe, and the wet heat surrounding his fingers had him gritting his teeth against the need to unite their bodies. He wanted to be buried to the hilt inside, but he had to ready her as much as possible. The way her body wept for him told him he could have what he craved soon. All he needed was patience. That was hard to grasp when her small, soft hands moved over him with an increasing boldness.
“Julian,” Chloe whispered, hardly recognizing the soft husky voice as her own. “I need.” She could not think of what else to say, or even if there was more to say to make herself clear. “I need.”
“I know. I but try to ease my way so that I do not hurt you too much.”
“This hurts.”
He understood exactly what she meant, for he was feeling the same way. As gently as he could, he eased into her. When he met with the shield of her innocence, he kissed her and pushed through it. A strangled noise escaped her and her nails dug into his back, but she did not retreat from his invasion. Julian grit his teeth and went still, struggling to remain that way as he kissed and caressed her to restore the passion the pain had dimmed. He was just wondering how much longer he would be able to endure being so still while the tight heat of her made his body ache to thrust when she moved against him.
Chloe tried to shift even closer to Julian. At first she had felt as if he had stretched her too wide. She had expected the brief pain but not the feeling that she was too full. Then her body softened around the intrusion and she felt her desire return to its previous ferocity. What had felt odd now felt wonderful, but she knew instinctively that it could feel even better. She shifted again, moving against him, and it felt as if he was driven even deeper inside her. That felt so good that Chloe moved yet again, wrapping her legs around his waist.
She gasped when he suddenly began to move, thrusting into her and withdrawing just enough to thrust again. Strange as the movement seemed, her body was rejoicing in it. Chloe found herself quickly meeting and matching his rhythm. A part of her could hear herself panting, hear Julian murmuring soft words against her skin, but all of her attention was fixed upon the way they moved together, the way his body was joined to hers, and the way each stroke of his body inside hers made the heat of her desire begin to pool down low in her belly.
Then it exploded, sending ripples of sharp fire throughout her body. Chloe heard herself cry out his name as she tried to hold him as close to her as possible. Julian’s movements briefly became fierce, his body ramming into hers, and then he tensed and warmth filled her at the point where they were most deeply joined. His seed, she thought, and felt herself shatter yet again. When he collapsed on top of her, she held him close, enjoying the way his body trembled just like hers did.<
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Chloe felt as if every bone and muscle in her body had melted away. She muttered a protest when Julian moved but could not seem to even open her eyes to see where he was going. Then she felt a cool, damp cloth move over her privates and she squeaked in shock. When she tried to grab something to pull over her naked body, she was prevented from doing so by Julian. Chloe just grimaced and kept her eyes closed tightly until he rejoined her in the bed.
Julian had to grin at the way Chloe had her eyes closed, like a small child who was trying to hide. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, idly undoing her badly mussed hairstyle and wondering how he could have forgotten to take it down. He usually liked to take a woman’s hair down, but with Chloe, his need had been too strong for such niceties, such idle seductions. He was thankful he had retained enough of his senses to make her first time more about pleasure than pain.
And she had felt pleasure, he thought with what he knew was a cocky grin. The passion Chloe revealed was more than any man would need. He admitted to himself that he had had a doubt or two. Some gently bred women could love the kisses and caresses that began a wooing, but loathe the messy business of making love. Chloe did not hesitate to take her full enjoyment. The fact that she had found her pleasure not once but twice during her first time told him that she allowed no maidenly fears or doubts to dim her desire or her pleasure. It was going to be a joy to show her all the ways that could bring back that pleasure.
“I concede,” she said as she snuggled up against him, openly appreciating his body in a way that could easily make him vain, he thought with a smile.
“Concede to what?” he asked as he combed his fingers through her thick hair.
“Passion is very important in a marriage.” She smiled against his chest when he chuckled. “I should probably slip away to my own bedchamber.” She felt his arms tighten around her.
“Nay. You shall stay here.” Julian realized that he was not just reluctant to have her leave and make him sleep alone; he loathed the very thought of it.
If He’s Wicked Page 14