by Sand, A. J.
“Wait! Holy shit! You’ll never believe this!” Winslow wrote quickly, but Dylan was already closing the chat window. This was her favorite class, but Jordan’s finals mirrored her high expectations when it came to the type of information they were supposed to be retaining from the lessons. Jordan never said, “This won’t be covered on the exam.” If it came out of her mouth, it was fair game for testing. Her take-home would be brutal.
Fifteen minutes into the film, the noise became too much of a distraction, even for a silent movie, and everyone wanted to know what was going on outside. A guy sitting next to Dylan was decidedly disregarding the film in favor of texting. She could tell by the way he kept fidgeting that he was anxious to get out of there. A chorus of cell phone vibrations rumbled behind her, and when Dylan turned, very few people were looking at the screen still. She fought the urge to reach for her phone, which was buried beneath her belongings in her bag. It had buzzed too. It was the combination of the garbled chatter outside and the steady stream of voices filling up the stairway that finally made Professor Jordan dismiss early.
Dylan stayed behind, even as everyone else rushed out, to assure Professor Jordan that she was already looking into other internships, and she wanted to formally request a recommendation or reference listing for this round of applications. Nothing had the same sparkle as Kai’s web series, but many had the potential to grant her relevant experience and, as an upside, she was probably a more viable candidate.
“I guess you’ll be the first to know that whether or not we finish the entire film during the class period next time, it’s on the final still.” Professor Jordan looked up from assembling her class notes with just a hint of the same understanding expression she had worn the entire time.
“Got it.” Dylan tucked her hair behind her ear and bit her lip. “I think I’m going to apply for the Sherman Studios internship. You mentioned it right at the beginning of the year.”
Professor Jordan put her hand on her hip and sighed before her features took on a troubled look. “You could get that internship on your worst day.”
“So I should just submit my first movie?” Dylan asked wryly as she lowered her bag and balanced it upright between her shoes.
Professor Jordan nodded and chuckled. “It’s a great internship, but you’d be bored there. I’m all for paying your dues, but it’s a lot of grunt work, and I think you’re past that now. I’m really pushing that one to frosh and sophomores. I’ll dig into some better ones.”
Dylan rocked back on her heels. “So, did Nina say why?” This particular unanswered question kept gnawing at her.
“You know me too well.” Professor Jordan cleaned her glasses lens with the hem of her blazer. “No, she didn’t say when I asked. I don’t think it was anything you did wrong. She said Kai spoke highly of you.”
Dylan broke out into a smile. “That’s great.”
“Any idea what’s going on out there?” Professor Jordan ticked her head back toward the quad, and Dylan shrugged. “Ah well, anyway, I will find you something better,” she promised. They walked out into the hall together, and her professor excused herself to the bathroom. The jumbled voices were frenzied, like a million squawking birds, when Dylan stepped outside. Students were posted around the quad in small groups, but a mass that reminded her of a rally was huddled toward the middle. Dylan stood on her tiptoes and stretched her neck, but whatever was happening within the crush of students was still out of her line of sight. More people drifted over to the bulk of bodies to get a peek.
She tapped a girl she didn’t know on the shoulder who was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk that wrapped around the quad. “Is there a march today?” This was San Francisco; there was always a march.
“No, they’re filming something,” the girl said. Dylan arched her eyebrows, becoming more curious when she surveyed the crowd again. Her three favorite words had just been mentioned. CSFC had a beautiful campus so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see photography or film equipment around someone’s neck or on their shoulder, but few things drew numbers like this. It was probably a movie, and an idea sharpened in her mind as she ambled over. What if she gave one of the film crew her résumé? What was the worst that would happen? She had one on her. She always had one on her. She was in California, after all.
After a few less than polite cuts through the throng, she emerged as close as she would get to the inner most part. She finally ran into a wall of football bodies. Dylan made a tactical move horizontally after spotting a running back she had lived on her freshman hall with. When he saw her, he gestured for her to come closer after securing her a spot right in front. Dylan shook the nerves out of her shoulders and stepped into the space. Her eyes widened as she took note of who had caused such excitement. Right in the middle of the circle of people…was Kai White.
She was staring right at his profile and Dylan froze. He was giving an on-camera explanation of something to the film crew a few feet away from him. He looked even better today than he had when she had met him. His facial hair was thicker but groomed. He was flawless and natural in front of the camera, especially for someone who didn’t like it so much. Although she couldn’t hear him, the few people who could hear were laughing at whatever he was saying. As she watched, the full weight of her bottled-up longing to work on the project crushed her optimism from before. She should’ve gotten the job, and she still wanted it.
Kai talked with some of the students, pulling them on camera, mostly giggling girls. Dylan prepped a friendly, casual smile on her face even as her heart drummed ferociously against the walls of her chest. Kai paused mid-sentence when he turned in her direction and stared like he didn’t believe she was actually there. A delighted grin spread slowly on his face, and Dylan’s legs quivered, as she smiled back. He was really cute. The rise in the drone of the crowd sounded like the current that pulsed between them. He walked right up to her and gripped her shoulders.
“Bob Dylan Carroll, I’ve been looking all over this campus for you,” he announced, sounding relieved. At first, she was utterly embarrassed when the camera crew turned its focus to her, but the feeling was fleeting, and it bled into something more pleasant. She was touched and a little surprised. She also tried not to think too much about the blazing heat throbbing up from beneath her skin where his hands were.
“Um, what for?” Her voice had an unintentionally suspicious tone about it. Her gaze trailed him as he shifted to her side, and he slung his arm around her shoulders.
“This…” Kai pointed at her for the camera. “…Is the new director of my web series on Kai White dot com.” The crowd erupted with cheers, but Dylan was shocked. Her stomach plummeted and she eased out from under his arm. She faced him but could only shake her head with her mouth open as her thoughts were too twisted up to express. Her feelings bounced from one to the other, like the ball in a pinball machine—confusion, shock, excitement, and confusion again—and she was unable to hold on to any one of them long enough to really react beyond the deer in the headlights look. “But Nina said…”
Kai shook his head with a dismissive smirk. “I—”
“Fucking douchebag!” Everyone turned toward the sound of the loud, angry voice, even though it was impossible to tell who it had come from. Kai’s expression darkened and his jaw tensed in anger.
“You’re a douchebag, Kai White! You suck!” Kai’s eyes flared as he stormed off from her and broke through the mass; although, it had parted for him on its own. The camera crew started to shut down, and they asked the surrounding people to put their camera phones away. Dylan went after Kai. He had changed Nina’s mind, so it was the least she could do.
The tone of the crowd was changing, charging up, as they followed Kai. Some people looked concerned, while others relished the chance to be spectators to some altercation. The distant blare of a siren didn’t even scatter them. Kai swiveled around with his fists clenched, not really focusing on anyone in particular.
“Yeah, it’s really easy to
yell shit when you’re anonymous!” he screamed to no one.
“Kamikaze Kai.” The guy finally stepped forward, walking within a few feet of Kai just as Dylan reached his side, and the nearby horde of people closed in around them. The guy probably went to her school but she had never seen him before. She eyed the group of guys behind the provocateur, standing up on the short brick and stone benches that encased palm trees in the quad, with their camera phones aimed right at Kai. They were trying to bait him for Internet footage. The guy pierced Kai with a smug glare and Kai shot a menacing look back.
“I don’t get why anyone pays you to do anything. You’re a shitty singer,” the guy spat, and the crowd went wild with jeers at Kai. Dylan was terrified and started to reach out to grasp Kai’s hand to pull him out of there. She had never seen the people on her campus behave like this. It was as if Kai’s being there had warped them somehow.
“Let it go, Kai. Let’s get out of here…”
Dylan retracted her hand before her fingers enclosed his wrist. It was one of his crewmembers pleading from behind them, but Kai’s temper was still smoldering as he jerked his head toward the man in his group. Before he could make a full rotation, his gaze landed on Dylan and his face softened. He looked mortified, stunned and a little embarrassed. She pressed out what she hoped was a reassuring smile, a smile meant to talk him down off the ledge. His gaze stayed hooked onto her and she imagined the noises falling away. It was cliché to think of them as the only two people in an energetic quad full of others out of blood, but for a moment, she heard nothing, and saw only the smile he returned. His blue eyes flashed, as if to tell her that he was okay. She nodded.
“You’re a pussy, Kai!” the guy yelled angrily, but Kai stayed impervious to the taunt. He didn’t even look at him. Looping sirens were a lot closer now, and the edges of the crowd began to break.
“Kai! Let’s go!” a crewmember yelled again with more urgency and conviction this time. Kai obeyed and backed off slowly. Dylan turned to watch him go and the crowd groaned in disappointment. The belligerent guy, however, was still calling after him with aggressive verbal jabs. Kai broke into a jog toward the far end of the quad in the direction of the parking lot. Dylan wanted to kick herself for not saying anything before he left. Like I accept. Thank you. See you in December.
Suddenly, Kai stopped running, did an about face and ran back, straight up to her. “By the way, the job’s still yours…if you want it.”
The Offer – Chapter 4
Yes. She definitely still wanted it. And that’s what she told everyone: both Kate and Winslow on the way back to her dorm, her parents later that night, and Professor Jordan the following class period. Kai made it official with an email welcoming her to the team, and she was severely disappointed when Nina took over the email reins with documents to fill and information on housing on Maui. Dylan would have to pay weekly rent for the time there, but Nina would locate the place and send some options her way. Nina also insisted on meeting her in person before Dylan’s travels, so they scheduled a meeting in Palo Alto, an affluent town outside of San Francisco and near Silicon Valley, where Nina was courting a few potential tech clients. Nina explained that she ran Kai White, LLP, as Kai’s partner, but she also ran a management and public relations firm that oversaw careers across various industries, though her roots were in talent management.
Dylan’s class work slowed down significantly by the time Thanksgiving break arrived. After the gathering at Winslow’s, she and Kate left the next day for their respective homes. Dylan spent most of the holiday in her room outlining her notes for her exams to lessen the workload when she got back. She was in the middle of Psych when a request for a video chat from Nina popped on her screen. She wanted to impress her so she accepted, only to discover Kai White on the other end. Dylan’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Busy?” Kai asked. He was so casual with her.
“A little…” she said, biting her lip, unsure of what to say as she tried not to look so starstruck. Her heart was bouncing around in her chest. “Getting my Psych notes in order. Exams are coming up.”
“Nina and I have a bunch of meetings with some label execs in L.A. I had a break and she made the mistake of leaving me with her laptop. I saw your name in her contacts,” he explained after a half-smile. “What are you studying in Psych?”
“Intro to Social Psychology,” she said.
“I thought you were a film major?” he asked.
“I needed the credit to round out my schedule, and my best friend begged me to take it with her,” she said. “Or coerced, rather.”
“Is this the ‘Screw Your Roommate’ friend?” he asked.
“Yes!” she said, laughing. Kai furrowed his brow in silence.
“So, like, studying people…and how we interact with each other?” he asked, leaning back a little. His face stayed serious like he was really interested.
Dylan smiled and nodded. “Yup. And how we see ourselves and others and how we’re influenced by all the information we pick up in the world.”
“Ah. And perception often dictates behaviors and beliefs,” he said. His lips slipped into another half-smile. “So the film student likes to study people too. Sounds cool.”
“Cool only in theory,” she joked, sliding her pen behind her ear. “Only when a GPA isn’t on the line.”
“You plan on only studying over the holiday?” he asked. “I think J.Kutch is performing in D.C. this weekend. Are you gonna go?” He was a popular rapper she was familiar with.
“No…” She tried to think of a reason to explain away her lack of a social life. Everything besides what it really was: her refusal to do anything fun anymore. “Lots of family stuff.”
“Oh…yeah...right,” Kai said, rubbing the back of his neck. “‘Cause if you want to, just let me know…he’s a good friend of mine.”
“Thanks, but I just don’t think I’ll have the time.” Dylan gave a gracious grin. “And are you namedropping?” she teased.
Kai leaned in to the camera as though he were about to whisper into her ear. “Definitely. How else am I going to impress the girl filming my series? It’s a bribe, actually. My career is essentially in your hands!”
“Oh,” she said, holding one of her hands up then smirking. “No pressure or anything.”
“None…except…what’s your middle name?”
Dylan furrowed her brow in confusion. “My middle name? Kimberly.”
“Dylan Kimberly Carroll. The name I’ll drop when I’m sitting at the same bar every night when I’m forty, screaming at anyone who’ll listen to how my career got completely derailed. The fight won’t be discussed, just Dylan Kimberly Carroll.”
“Oh, great,” she said, smacking herself on the forehead. He was kind of funny.
Kai looked away from the screen for a second. “Well, I hear my overlords heading my way,” he said after a laugh when he twisted his head back around.
“Oh…okay,” she said, trying not to sound so disappointed. Twice now, she had gotten sad when he had to go. She pressed out a strained smile.
“So, um, good luck with studying,” he said weakly, looking disappointed as well.
“Thanks. Bye.” She released a heavy breath after he disappeared. Were she and Kai becoming friends, or was he just being friendly because they had to work together? Either way, as she continued to prepare for finals, she developed a giddy feeling that was still gripping her when she went to bed. Dylan assumed that it was the last time she would hear from him, but Kai video chatted with her for the entirety of her vacation. Their talks continued on the same trajectory. They started with school or the film project but usually ended in more personal conversation about favorite movies or music. Thanks to Taylor, she discovered that the incident at her school had ended up on a celebrity gossip website with another Kamikaze Kai headline, and she was glad that her parents thought the Internet existed only for checking email and forwarding Aunt Mabel’s pictures of her knitting group. They might’ve had
second thoughts about letting her spend several weeks with him, which was a situation that already seemed as fragile as a floating soap bubble.
By the time she returned to school, the job was less susceptible to vanishing now that her parents seemed to understand that the job was important, and why she didn’t want to come home again. She would miss Christmas and her twenty-first birthday with her family. It might’ve felt like abandonment, but she wasn’t just accepting the job for herself, this was for Mac, too. Part of keeping his memory alive meant putting several other aspects of her life on hold so that she could completely focus on seeing her dreams through. She was alive; he wasn’t. It was the least she could do.
Kate clicked through the list of recorded shows on Winslow’s DVR. She was the only one who had cable, but 90% of the shows on the DVR were Kate’s. She stopped on Behind The Music: Jeremy Bunyan. She selected it and fast-forwarded through most of the show. “I recorded this ‘cause it aired, like, a week after the fight. Okay, I wanted you to see this part,” she said to Dylan when she clicked play. They were both sitting in Winslow’s living room. They had moved into her apartment because the three of them would not see each other after finals until the following semester, and their particular study habits would’ve made their roommates homicidal. Before Kate put the TV on, fiery Latin music had been shaking the walls of the place.
A still image appeared on screen of the four members of Evernight, with Kai and Jeremy in the middle smiling, arms over each other’s shoulders, on stage presenting an award. “Shortly after their appearance at the MTV EMAs, Evernight announced that guitarist Kai White was leaving the group,” the narrator’s ominous voice said. The scene transitioned to a flood of photographers descending upon Jeremy as he exited a hotel in the days after the announcement. They were shooting questions at him as he was rushed toward a dark SUV.
“Have you spoken to Kai?” one of them shouted. “What’s going to happen with Evernight? Will you be leaving the group too? Does Kai plan to go solo?”