by Sand, A. J.
She and Kai hadn’t really spoken since New Orleans, which was only two days ago, but coupled with the other few days of silence after New York, it felt like months because she still had to see him all the time. The past two days, after the shows, she had taken a cab back to the hotel and left the group at the venue for vending machine snacks and late-night TV. But her attempt at distance and the new routine didn’t help her miss him any less. It didn’t hurt any less. Ashley would probably report her behavior to Nina, but Dylan thought her work was still shining.
She was doing her best to cope, writing her unsent messages to Mac and working tirelessly. The exponential rise in views was empowering and so were the supportive comments. She largely ignored the vicious, negative ones (though the impulse to respond was hard to resist), but she tried to implement the ideas of the constructive critiques without allowing the defense of her ego to supplant them. She was proud of her work overall. Even as their friendship fell apart, she still featured Kai in a favorable light for reasons that had nothing to do with her job obligation. It was just him. She loved seeing him smiling with fans and hearing him laugh in frustration when Xavier and Heath kept correctly guessing every song he tried to stump them with as he played his acoustic guitar. And there were so many more moments. All of it made her heart race, and she often kept a smile hidden behind the camera.
“Well, I should go,” she said, pushing the camcorder into its case. They were in his gigantic hotel room in Orlando. She flicked her eyes up at Kai briefly, checking out his indifferent expression as he clicked away on his cell phone. He had finished up his show at a venue where people had been protesting the place for allowing a violent singer to perform there. Kai’s performance had not been his best. He was a little shaken, but he pulled it off, and all the while, her heart had somersaulted in her chest. It had been a hard night, and she wished they still had that safe and familiar place between them so that she could ask how he was doing.
“Cool,” Kai said without lifting his eyes from his cell phone. Dylan sighed and walked to the door. Dealing with Kai in this cold way was draining. She needed a break. Christmas was right around the corner, and Jamie was hauling her off to the Big Island for the holiday. She was looking forward to that. Tonight would be a break too. Wes and Abel had been at the show and they wanted to go out. She and Wes had been texting back and forth for a few days.
“Have a good night,” she blurted out with her back to him and her hand on the door handle. She needed to say something; the silence was killing her.
“You have a good night too,” he whispered. There were more words in these few minutes than they had exchanged all day, and her heart jumped.
Dylan spun around and was disappointed to find his eyes still nailed to his cell phone. “Kai, can we talk?”
“You’re off for the night, right? So…be…off.” The edge of annoyance in his voice made her wince, but it made her mad, too. Dylan dropped the camera bag near the door and took a furious stride back to where he was sitting. She could tell he was playing off how startled he was by her reaction as he put his cell phone down finally.
“I get that you’re mad at me but don’t push it, Kai White,” she hissed between clenched teeth as she balanced her weight on the table. “You don’t even really know what you think you know.”
“You haven’t been throwing that I’m ‘just work’ shit in my face since day one? ‘Cause you say it, like, every fucking two sentences.” Kai soared to a standing position and leaned over the table toward her. “I should’ve believed you.”
“Lek should’ve let me explain myself instead of running to you,” she shouted back.
“Well, I guess whatever explaining you needed to do to me, you should’ve done that first,” he yelled. Even as things got heated, Dylan felt the intensity of the current of attraction between them. His staring at her mouth made her lips pulse like a heartbeat. She instinctively licked them and watched his broad chest rise when he took in a sharp breath. Dylan remembered how it felt to be against it. There would be no makeup sex after this though, and she shook away the thought, disbelieving that in a middle of this fight, they were checking each other out.
“Did you just like my attention? Is that what it was? You made me think I meant something to you when you’re just after information about me for the project.” He shook his head in disgust. “I’m impressed. You’re on the wrong side of that fucking camera.”
Dylan threw her hands up and scoffed. “How do you have time to think about anything when your dick seems to be doing all the work?”
Someone was suddenly pounding on the door of his hotel room. Kai skirted the table and pulled the door open to Wes. Dylan was relieved to see him and rushed past Kai to give him a hug.
“What’s up, guys?” With one of his hands firm on Dylan’s lower back, he shook Kai’s hand. Whatever fleeting attraction she’d had to Wes was long gone, but it was sort of funny to see Kai’s face pinch in jealousy as he watched them.
“I was just at your room. Abe wants to pre-party before we go out,” Wes said to Dylan. He rubbed his palms together. “Got us a table at Velvet, but he wants to go to Coasters first.”
Kai stalked back toward the table, and when he spun around, he ran his hand down the length of his face. “You came to my room for her?” He aimed a hateful look at Wes.
“I guess no one else is supposed to talk to me or act like I exist either,” Dylan fired back sarcastically. “We’re in 3rd grade? Your friends can’t be my friends?”
Kai laughed with bitterness. “Yeah, that’s my preference, actually.”
Dylan hardened her jaw. “Whatever, Kamikaze…grow up.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Wes’ eyes widen, and he moved in between them to defuse the tense conversation, pulling Dylan out into the hallway.
“You want to get out of here? Abe and I have separate rooms…come hang out with me.” Wes squeezed the back of her neck in a show of support. This had to be killing Kai. He followed them out and studied both of them for a few seconds, but his angry eyes finally settled on Wes, clearly disapproving of his defection.
“Fuck this. And fuck you, Wes.”
Dylan hugged Wes when they were in his room a few floors down. “Thanks. We haven’t exactly been on the best terms lately. I’m sorry you got caught up in that.”
Wes shook his head. “Don’t even worry about it. He was there for me during the worst time in my life, and I said way worse to him then. We get into shit and he still comes when I call, no questions asked. No matter what. It’s what we do.” He shrugged but his expression lightened immediately. “Plus, I know there’s only one reason he’s acting crazy right now.” Wes pried her arms off him. “Hands off, girl. I never thought I would turn you down if we ended up here, but I’m not your rebound!” Wes collapsed backward onto the bed and locked his fingers behind his head.
Dylan rounded the bed, sitting on the edge farthest from the door with her back to it and Wes. Tears warmed her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. Deep breaths usually helped, and she didn’t want Wes to know she was crying, but at least it wasn’t Kai. God, she hated him. She didn’t want to cry around him again. The only thing she wanted to do was slug him in the face. This was how he planned to forget her? By being a complete asshole?
But she wanted to kiss him too. She missed him so much her skin hurt.
When she was finally capable of beating back the squeezing in her chest, she spoke. “Shut up, Wes. You’re pissing me off more.” He made a deep indentation in the mattress as he shifted and came into view on her left side.
“Well, I’ve got just the cure for that,” Wes said in a sultry tone right by her ear. “I’ll try not to enjoy it too much for the sake of Kai, but—”
“Wes, you are about two seconds away from being Jeremy’ed.” Dylan couldn’t fight her smile. She gave him a light push to the chest and walked to the large windows. The cool glass spiked a chill through her when she pressed her palm to it. Orlando could get fairly cold at
night in the winter.
“I knew that would make you laugh, but you’re hot when you’re angry.”
“Jesus, Wes. I’m sure everything’s hot to you.” She spun around and leaned against the wall.
Wes stood and walked to the hotel room desk. “Yes, I think women are hot! Is that so wrong?” He picked up a Scrabble box and brought it back to the bed.
“Not at all. But we have brains too. We make good conversation. A lot of us are nice and compassionate and loving and funny.” She watched as he lifted the board from the box and opened it flat over the bedspread. Dylan didn’t know a lot about him, but Wes didn’t strike her as an avid board game player, much less a Scrabble player.
“Yes. I’m pretty sure you’re all of those things. I know women are humans, Dylan,” Wes said with minor frustration. He held up the small maroon drawstring bag containing the letters and shook it. “I have a lot of sex with y’all, so I would know. I love women. I love that we’re outnumbered. Your gender makes up more than half the population.” Wes’ lustful eyes flashed as he drew his tongue across his top lip. “That’s a lot of—”
“Whatever you’re about to say, remember your mom, aunts and grandmas have it, too.”
Wes pretended to gag. “My point is I want to know as many of you as I can. I’m glad we’re hanging out now. Susan from last night was cool too. Hanging out. Screwing. Whatever. I just like spending time with women.”
“I see.” Dylan gave him a subtle and skeptical roll of her eyes when he looked away to put the tile holders at opposite ends of the board.
“Don’t take my desire to spread my seed, so to speak, to mean I want to degrade women. It’s quite the opposite. I just want to make sure every lady who wants all of this for a limited time knows that it’s very available, and can get it.” He shook his head and sighed, looking a little defeated. “Monogamy is overrated. Promiscuity is a misunderstood state of being.”
“Wes, you have sufficiently disturbed me for the rest of my life.” She joined him on the bed. “So we’re playing Scrabble for real?”
“Yeah!” Wes pierced her with squinted, incredulous eyes. “What did you think we were gonna do? Unless you’re chicken…but I’ll try to go easy on you.” Dylan snatched the pouch of tiles from him and stuck her hand in to retrieve her first one. He softly brushed the top of her hand when she handed the bag back to him. “And, plus, you look like you want to talk.” They went back and forth until each had filled their racks.
“I don’t want to talk,” Dylan said as she rearranged some of the letters into an intelligible word. Except she did want to talk, and as usual, her first reaction was to reject the offer. “So, how did you get into Scrabble?”
Wes went first and spelled out HINTED on the board. “Abel and I grew up on the North Shore in Oahu and all we ever wanted to do was surf. When we were fifteen, we wanted to completely focus on surfing—like drop out of school and focus—but our parents wouldn’t let us, so they got us a tutor.”
Dylan added the letters necessary to spell out BANE using the N from Wes’ word.
“Me and Abel aren’t exactly the ‘sit down for very long’ type, and we’re really competitive with each other, so our tutor decided to make us play Scrabble on some days.” He marked down their scores and they picked up more letters. “Whoever won got out early to surf, and we couldn’t play words we couldn’t define. So I spent a lot of time reading in preparation before tutoring, and I guess we ended up getting smarter without even knowing it...I think. Abel and I still play when we’re traveling together.” Wes spelled HOUSE.
“I never would’ve guessed that,” she said, happily surprised. Dylan pressed RACE down to the board.
“I’m not a walking dick, Dylan.” Wes exaggerated his indignation and shock. “Well, not completely. So, what’s up with you and my boy? Are you in love with him?” Wes asked nonchalantly, as he rubbed his chin and stared with a creased brow at the hidden letters on the tile rack. “You guys fight like a couple.”
Dylan gulped down. “Um…uh…” she stammered. “Nothing’s going on, and Nina says we can’t do anything.” She didn’t sound compelling at all. “We’re just having a little disagreement.”
“Are you in love with him?” Wes repeated. Was she? With certainty, she could say that she cared about him. There was something else too. Kai had stirred up deep feelings within her. Love was too big of a word though.
Wes still hadn’t played, but he looked up at her with amusement in his eyes. “Oh shit. He’s got you.”
Dylan turned her gaze to the headboard, feeling heat swirl around her face. “I’m not in love with him,” she whispered. “We haven’t known each other that long.”
“Yeah, but you’re on tour, together day in and day out…it’s, like, months in reality.”
Dylan reached over and flicked his nose. “I’m not in love, dammit. Just play. Quit stalling,” she said, trying to deflect his attention back to the game.
Wes chuckled. “All right, all right. But whatever it is you feel, Nina is standing in your way…”
“In a really complicated way,” Dylan said in a timid voice as she absently shifted her letters around. Wes sat up looking concerned, and pushed the board toward the foot of the bed. His eyes got inspective as he raised his brows. “Nina promised me the rights to the web series if I found out why Kai really beat up Jeremy that night. He doesn’t know about the web series deal, but I think Lek told him I was still sniffing around about the fight even though Kai asked me not to. I feel terrible because he thinks I don’t really care for him, and that my motives have been impure this whole time.”
He stood up and walked across the room to the wall. “Are they? Have they been?” Wes asked in a protective tone. She knew that he was looking out for his friend, but she was ashamed when his gaze turned suspicious. She had never seen Wes with such a grave expression, and she had probably tarnished her image in his eyes.
“I’m not pretending to care about him! I do, a lot,” she said, growing defensive. There was no denying that her feelings were genuine. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes but re-opened them when Wes started speaking again.
“Because I know for a fact Kai would cut off his nuts and toss them in the ocean to be with someone like you. To be with you.” Wes pulled out his cell phone and exhaled loudly. “Guess you’re not the only one sharing secrets today. He’s going to kill me if he ever finds out I’m reading this to you.” Wes scrolled his screen. “Me: ‘How’d the show go?’ Him: ‘Great. Hung out with Dylan after.’ Smiley face. Smiley face, Dylan!” Wes’ disbelieving expression made her burst out laughing. “Him: ‘Dude, she just killed it in Call of Duty.’ Smiley face. Another fucking smiley face. It’s been like this for weeks. Remember that night in L.A. at the Lava Surf party? He pretty much told me to stay away from you because he knows me. I wouldn’t have been serious about you, and he was crushing really hard.”
She flashed a huge grin. “I like him, too, Wes. I just wish I knew more about what happened between him and Jeremy. At least if I knew what I was dealing with, I could figure out how best to protect him from it. It’s not even about using it for any gain.” That’s what mattered to her, getting Kai out of this mess. Dylan sat up, ready to implore Wes to give her information. She walked straight up to him and pressed her palms together, needing him to understand that she was being sincere. “Kai is drowning in something, something big, and he’s dealing with it all by himself. I just want to help him.”
“I really don’t know, Dyl. Kai shut me out of that.” Wes ran his hand over his head, and his shoulders dropped when he sighed sadly. “The only thing I really know is that things got all weird at the end of the Thailand trip.”
“Weird how?” Dylan walked backward and sat on the bed.
Wes shut his eyes tight like he was trying to jog his memory. “For one thing, Erica…Evigan—she used to work with Kai—didn’t come back with all of us on the flight. She was supposed to, but she didn’t. Me, Kai, Abel
, Jamie, Erica…the Philippines group…” He tapped each name on his finger. “Lek, Zave and Heath, Jeremy, Seth and Odette… the group that met us in Thailand. We were all supposed to fly back to Oahu together, and she didn’t show up.”
“But Jeremy was definitely on the flight?” Dylan reflected on Heath’s drug theory. “And he was fine?”
Wes nodded. “Yup. She was the only one not on the flight. The girls said she wasn’t in the hotel room and she wasn’t answering her phone when we all met down in the lobby, but all her stuff was still there. Kai started calling her frantically, and she texted him back to say she was all right. We were in another country, so none of us wanted to leave until we were absolutely sure that she was fine. Kai called again and finally she answered and confirmed that she was fine and for us to go on without her. Kai was reluctant but she insisted. He made her send him a picture to prove that she was okay, and she did. She said she had just decided to stay longer last minute. She’d suddenly decided to stay to work on something…an idea she had. Erica’s really fun and creative and spontaneous, so at the time, it kinda made sense.
“Kai and Jeremy both called her from the airport and the plane, before takeoff. She said she’d see us back in the States.” Wes shrugged. “I don’t think Kai heard from her again, even when she got back to L.A., where she was living at the time. When we go on those trips, she’d fly back to Oahu and hang out for a few days before she, Abel and me would fly back to L.A. I called her for days after Abel and I went home and got nothing. When I talked to Bryson, her ex- fiancé, or maybe he’s still her fiancé, he said when she got back, she packed up her shit and left him, called everything off. Then she quit working for Kai, and then she stopped talking to everybody. It’s sad because I miss her like crazy. She’s an awesome girl. I just want to know how she’s doing.”