by Sand, A. J.
“Really?” Dylan said excitedly, smiling down at Kai.
“Oh yeah? Sounds…interesting. Great…opportunity,” Kai said without an ounce of enthusiasm as his lips jerked into a flat smile. Dylan frowned at his reluctant endorsement. “Dude, I haven’t forgotten that you sort of kissed my girl on New Year’s. You’re lucky I haven’t uglied up that face of yours some more. Now you want to whisk her away to some island paradise? Bullshit.”
Dylan giggled and poked Kai on his bare chest. “And you know all too well my history of falling in love on the job…”
“Sweet!” Wes yelled before he broke out into hysterical laughter. They loved joining forces to drive Kai absolutely crazy. She still couldn’t believe that he would even entertain the idea that Wes’ words had any effect on her.
“Baby…” Kai leaned her forward suddenly before planting a slow trail of kisses on her neck. “…Really? Was that necessary?” He spoke into the curve of her neck.
Dylan sat up and Kai undid several of the buttons on the shirt. “Let me think about it, Wes. I already got Dan Middleton to give me a shitload of money to work on something…” Her voice trailed off when Kai clutched one of her breasts. “…It would be too tight of a…squeeze, schedule-wise.” Kai chuckled silently.
He gripped her hips and ground his pelvis against her once. “Hey, Wes, she’ll call you later, cool?”
“Cool. Let me know, Dylan. Talk to you guys soon.” Kai hit the “END” button.
He laughed. “He really thinks I’m not gonna punch him in the face. He’s in for a very rude and painful awakening.” He undid two more of her buttons, revealing the entirety of her black cotton bra.
“You look so sexy right now,” he whispered.
“What is it about a girl in a guy’s shirt that makes you all so crazy? I look like a lumberjack.”
Kai angled her forward slightly. “Maybe, I’m into lumberjacks. You wanna see my wood?” She could certainly feel it pressing up against her.
“You know we make our money chopping wood, right?” she teased as she lowered her face to his. “I love you, Kai.”
“I love you too,” Kai said as he grinned. It still made her shiver when he said it, even though they had been saying it for a couple months now. He kissed her forehead, nose and lips. “And thank you for what you’re doing for Erica.”
“We’re doing it together. I’m looking forward to the downtime on this therapy retreat with my family next month because Erica and I have a lot of work to do for the documentary.” The first anniversary of Mac’s death was fast approaching, and she didn’t feel as scared as she thought she would. Getting back to some of the things she loved without feeling bad, starting a bereaved students group on campus and leaning on her friends and family, and especially Kai, had made a world of difference in terms of dealing better with the loss. No one ever judged her for living her life, and she was working really hard to not judge herself anymore. She had managed to stick to her pledge of not emailing him too.
“Tons of people become crime victims in other countries and have no clue what to do and how to further their cases when they’re back in their home country. I hope this documentary will help U.S. citizens, at least. Erica’s still compiling a list of people we want to interview. I’m just glad Dan Middleton liked the idea. We’re going to try to enter it into some festivals next year if all goes well, but definitely a screening sometime. Professor J is super excited about it. You think Erica’s going to be ready when everything comes out and everyone knows?”
“I hope so,” Kai said, drawing his words out in a sigh. “I really hope so.”
“Me too.” Dylan sat up again. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, your new manager-slash-publicist called me the other day to ask what my occupational title is for some article Why Do Celebrities Suck wrote about us. I like him. He’s not as scary as Nina.” Dylan was still adjusting to seeing herself mentioned online on gossip websites, but at least the paparazzi left her alone at school and other times when she wasn’t with him. “Have you talked to her?”
Kai sighed. “Yeah, we’re still trying to figure out how to maintain our business relationship along with our personal one. She’ll get over me firing her, even though she’s being difficult with the web series ownership situation. She’s still my partner in the business, and she’s making a big deal about it being company property, which means it belongs to both of us, not to mention the fact that she and I have that internal agreement about her maintaining control of digital property. But you earned it, Dyl, because you did your job. Technically, you did what she asked, and they’ve gotten over two million views total so far. Look at how badly J.Kutch’s old label wanted the clips of us. You deserve to have the rights turned over to you. Last resort, we’ll dissolve the business and fight it out in court, but I don’t want to do that.
“Anyway, I played nice and asked her if she could book me some appearances for while I’m in Oz, her last official duties as my manager before Kutch and I release all the new music on our new indie label.”
“You in Australia is all Odette has been talking about when we Skype. Are you all set for this ‘eight cities in eight days’ tour before you and Kutch hit the road? ‘Kai & Kutch: The Tour.’ I still think that’s so cute. J.Kutch is so excited. As is Ashley.”
“He is, and she is, for sure. She has been on her best behavior ever since our relationship went public. I’m almost ready. New manager got all the travel stuff taken care of. Got my physical. All that’s left is packing and spending the next two days and nights in bed with my girlfriend.”
“Days and nights…” she repeated as he squeezed just above her knees. “Hmm. Not sleeping, I’m guessing—no, hoping.”
“Be careful what you wish for.” He winked. Sitting up, he leaned her back and kissed between her breasts before flicking his tongue against her skin until she laughed. With some maneuvering, he re-positioned them so that his feet were on the floor and she was straddling his lap.
“I’m so glad we’re here. I mean, the ‘going-to-be-apart-for-a-while-and-totally-okay-with-it’ place. I know it’s been hard for you,” she said.
“We’re here, yes, but I’m going to miss you like crazy, Dylan Kimberly Carroll.” Kai squeezed her cheeks. “Every single day, like I always do. And that still scares me sometimes.”
Placing her hands on top of his, she said, “I can’t control everything, but as long as I have the ability, I will always—”
“Find me? I know, baby.” He took one of her hands and pressed his lips to the back of it. “I love you so much for that, and well, I have been chasing you since Il Bistro.”
“Okay…you’ve got me there.” He sighed suddenly and his gaze dropped. “What?” she asked, concerned.
“Dyl, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” His stare sprung back up to her face.
“Kai…”
“You are. I’m sorry if that puts a lot of pressure on you, but you are. My whole life I’ve been struggling with my feelings for my dad. I loved him because I think I’m just wired that way, but I hated him, too. I feared becoming him, but I idolized him sometimes as a kid. He’s the reason I’m a singer now. I am him in some ways because his blood is in my veins, and I always thought no one would ever love me really because of that, but you did and have. Even with everything you were going through, you never once didn’t want to be with me because of him. I have never been Butch to you. So it’s through you and being with you that I’ve realized I can’t hold on to what he was anymore. I can’t let Butch own me anymore. So thank you…for loving me.” He flicked the tears off her cheeks as she tried to speak without bawling.
“You’re welcome, and I love you.” Dylan scrunched her nose, laughing, as she wiped away more tears. “Ew, have we become one of those couples that does that all the time? The ‘I love you’ thing? I do, obviously, but we probably come across as really gross to other people.”
“Team Dick is gross.” Kai smiled and stood with her still clingin
g to him. “But, hey, you wanna show me how much you love me?”
“Hell…yes.” Her phone, still on the dining table where she had left it, suddenly pinged an email notification as Kai carried her off to the bedroom. Her text notification followed it with a short melody. Though she wondered what the messages were, Dylan lacked any real enthusiasm to find out…until Kai’s phone buzzed on the desk in the room. She kept quiet as they both fell on the bed, but an abrupt feeling of dread bound her chest when Kai’s phone buzzed again, and then her phone emitted another beep.
Something was happening.
And she couldn’t help feeling that whatever it was, it was about to change things for everybody.
Sexual violence is a major issue in the United States and around the world, even though it is a problem that is not frequently and publicly discussed. According to the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey conducted by the CDC’s National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States have been raped in their lifetime. Like my fictional character, Erica, close to 92% of women surveyed knew the person who raped them in some capacity. 1% of women surveyed had been raped within twelve months of being surveyed, meaning that about 1 million women are raped in a year.
“Documentary” is neither meant to represent what any survivor of rape or sexual assault should do nor a typical or “proper” reaction of a survivor. As we are all different, the ways in which we process and deal with trauma will vary. One should never measure their reaction with anyone else’s.
It is never okay for someone to have sex with you without your consent. Not your date, not your friend, not your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your spouse. No one. Being unable to give consent does not equal implied consent either.
The decision to report (and even subsequently pursue the prosecution of) a sexual assault or rape can be a difficult one but should always be a personal one. If you are a survivor of sexual assault or rape, and are unsure of what to do next or if you just need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to contact RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, for help through their anonymous hotline (1.800.656.HOPE), online (www.rainn.org), or to locate a counseling center.
If you are an American citizen in (or were in) a foreign country and are a survivor of a rape there, the U.S. Embassy located in that particular country may be able to assist you (www.usembassy.gov).