Friday morning after Thanksgiving, it is quiet and desolate in this corner of the valley. The annual shopping hunt commenced hours ago, and nearly everyone’s mother is now to the south in Scottsdale. It’s also the first chance that Schuyler, Ayana, and Tate have had to get together to work on their project in weeks. As usual, they gather at Ayana’s house where technological accoutrements are at their disposal. “I just don’t get it guys,” she starts in. “Potts has gone dark. He doesn’t work at the Museum anymore. There’s some weird dude working there now. Nobody’s seen him.”
“Looks like he felt the need to go underground,” says Tate. “Based on his behavior, I think he’s wrapped up in all this.”
“Could be,” Schuyler observes. “He seems to hold the key to the next step. Ayana, promise us you won’t go looking for him while we’re gone.”
“I won’t,” she says reluctantly. “But it will be hard. I wish I was going with you guys. You always seem to make a breakthrough when I’m not there.”
“I doubt there’ll be any breakthroughs,” says Schuyler. “Besides, we’ll be hanging with twelve steppers at my dad’s speaker meeting at Grand Canyon Lodge. Remember, this was at your dad’s suggestion as part of my juvenile court sentencing.”
“But why does Tate get to go?” she says in a whiny tone.
“Everyone thought I’d need someone my own age, you know - for moral support,” Schuyler responds. “Tate was the logical choice, probably because I don’t have any other friends anymore... He’s also male if you hadn’t noticed. Makes it less awkward to share a room at the lodge.”
This last point seems lost on Ayana. “It’s only one night, right?” she continues.
“Yeah, tonight and all day tomorrow,” Schuyler replies. “We’ll be back late in the evening.” Between meetings we’re going to bike the trails around there, unless Tate is successful in talking me into a canyon hike – which I fully doubt.”
“I’ve got it!” she exclaims. “What if I meet you guys up there? If I got up early, I could drive up and meet you guys before lunch. Then the three of us could drive back in my Subaru.”
“I’m sure my dad won’t mind, but what about your parents?” Schuyler responds.
“My parents trust me implicitly,” she answers. “Or perhaps they ignore me, I’m not sure which. Anyway, it’s my car. I’ll be there.”
Less than 24 hours later, Ayana arrives at Grand Canyon Lodge. She is more than a little annoyed to find the guys aren’t there to meet her. Further complicating matters, she has no cell coverage in the Park. She straps on her daypack, grabs her bike out of the back of her car, and then mounts it in search of the boys on the scenic but treacherous trails along the South Rim.
Ayana takes the spur trail leading to Mather Point, and scans the area for any sign of Schuyler and Tate. “Seriously? Ditched me again,” she mutters under her breath in frustration as she pedals on. Self pity builds. She feels the blood coursing in her throat. A commotion off to her left begins to distract her. A crowd quickly begins to build at Mather Point Lookout. Then a lady screams.
Ayana’s instincts kick in. She instantly diverts toward the Point, and proficiently stows her bike behind a nearby bench, dropping her pack there as well. She then uses her rather advanced crowd navigation skills to knife her way through to find out what’s going on, as if Schuyler and Tate are somehow involved. “They better not be up to something,” she says audibly. Even though she’s been to the Canyon before, she runs up to the railing on the South Rim, and the wind gets knocked out of her as she’s now overlooking the two thousand foot drop-off – straight down. Struggling to somehow catch her balance and breath, she notices a girl about her age in an odd locale. She does a double take, then realizes that a girl with jet black hair is sitting on a nearby rocky ledge - on the far side of the safety railing. Her head is buried in her hands, she is visibly sobbing. A woman in the crowd tries to speak to her in a calm voice, as she is only two feet from the edge of the precipice and certain death.
The girl does not respond. Ayana can’t make out the girl’s face, but something’s familiar about her. The crowd grows antsy, adding to the tension. Ayana takes a deep breath, bracing herself while her ego urges inaction. Something inside of her tells her: ‘just say it’. “Rebekah Benjamin, is that you?” Ayana asks in a clear, audible voice.
Rebekah instantly pulls her hands from her face, and looks directly at Ayana with teary, swollen eyes. “Ayana? What are you doing here?”
Keeping her eyes locked on Rebekah, she moves closer to the edge of the railing. “Umm, I need to talk to you about something,” she bluffs putting on her ‘smart girl at school’ persona.
“If you haven’t noticed, Ayana, I’m a little busy at the moment,” she answers. Her voice is hoarse and strained from crying.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about,” Ayana answers more genuinely. “I’m not sure why I happen to be standing here, but somehow I need to speak with you.”
Rebekah mechanically waves her off, then begins to scoot closer to the edge. Ayana closes her eyes, takes another deep breath, and murmurs as she exhales, “Oh great, spirit, light guide! Whatever your name is, please help me. I will do whatever you tell me.”
A male tourist on her right begins snapping pictures with his smart phone camera. “Just great,” Rebekah remarks. “I’ll be on Facebook and TMZ tonight!”
Ayana calls out to the crowd, “Will someone confiscate this guy’s smart phone? He’s making my friend here very squirrelly.” Immediately, the man puts it away.
A young girl wearing an old-fashioned white dress with puffy shoulders, and black patent leather shoes comes up and stands right beside Ayana. She whispers over to Ayana, “You go to her. She’ll listen.” She adds confidently, “Everything will be alright. Go.”
Ayana, her mind swimming in multiple competing thoughts, nods in agreement, somehow surrendering to the suggestion. Without really thinking, she quickly climbs up over the railing, drawing more shrieks from the crowd. She’s standing with her back to the railing with her heels situated just below the bottom of the metal fence facing the chasm between Mather Point and Rebekah’s rocky ledge six feet way. A small pebble slips out from under Rebekah’s foot, momentarily suspending in air before tumbling, first in slow motion, half a mile down to the bottom of the canyon.
Ayana inhales deeply, mustering courage, then thinks of something turning back over her shoulder. “Wait! You’re good aren’t you - I mean you’re a good girl - right?”
The girl looks her straight in the eye, and then nods affirmatively very peacefully and authentically. “Yes dear. Everything’s going to be alright.”
Without further hesitation, Ayana leaps from the railing with arms outstretched, floating in mid-air for a moment, then lands roughly on her stomach and knees in a head first slide partially on Rebekah pushing her back to the wall of the canyon.
“Whoa!!” yells Rebekah. “What in the hell…? That was outrageously dangerous. What were you thinking?” Rebekah growls at her.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but I wanted to see your view over here,” Ayana answers, dusting off her hands, then wincing while pulling small pebbles out of her palms which are quickly turning pink. She looks Rebekah directly in the eye. “Wow. It looks like you haven’t slept in days.”
“I haven’t, but I’m planning to take care of that,” she answers. “You know, the old dirt nap.”
“Nice sentiment Rebekah,” Ayana responds. “Just wait a minute - will you? Look, that little girl over there in the white dress told me you would listen if I came over to you,” Ayana says now beginning to doubt her own words as she says them.
“What little girl?” Rebekah asks.
“The one standing right over . . . .” Ayana starts to point to an empty space near the railing, but then stops. “Weird,” she thinks out loud. “Boy, you’d think by now I’d begin to expect the unexpected. This is certainly more Schuy’s territory.”
“Sky? You mean Schuyler O’Brien?” she asks plainly.
“Yeah, you haven’t seen him have you?” Ayana replies. “Those guys were supposed to meet...”
“Yep,” she answers. “He’s with Tate. Totally ignored me.”
“That’s not why you… why you’re here on this ledge?” Ayana clarifies.
“No, God no,” Rebekah replies. “I mean I asked for a sign, then saw those guys – who promptly ignored me, but no – not really.”
“Then why are you here?” Ayana asks.
“You mean at the Grand Canyon?” she clarifies. “I’m here to be the support person for my Aunt. She’s a basket case… She’s here for the 12 Step conference and my parents in their ultimate wisdom thought it’d be good for me, to baby sit my Aunt. It just makes things more hopeless. My own stuff is too heavy to carry around – let alone getting dragged further down by hers. Things have kind of come to a head here for me.”
“I see.” Ayana replies. “Tate’s here to support Schuy as well. Schuy’s really embarrassed – given his recent legal troubles. That’s probably why they ignored you. I think they were shooting for stealth mode.”
“God, I’m so stupid!” Rebekah says. “Why do I make everything be about me?”
“Because we’re teenagers?” Ayana responds.
She looks over at Ayana, then smiles. Then another sort of realization hits her. “You’d have been killed if you missed this ledge. Not to mention the disappearing girl who tells you to jump . . .” Rebekah rattles on. “Here I am, minding my own business, telling God he needs to send me a sign if I’m not to end it all here, and then you come jumping over the railing - directly on me. I have to admit, while you weren’t exactly what I expected, I think it qualifies as a sign,” she babbles.
“Ya think?” Ayana replies. “For both of us! Honestly, I’m not sure what got into me.” She pauses. A tightening starts up in her throat. “Listen, Rebekah, I’d really like to know why we’re sitting on a rock ledge at Mather Point in the Grand Canyon, just a couple of feet from certain death.”
“Well, as I mentioned, things haven’t been going well for me lately,” Rebekah replies.
“Yeah, you’ve missed a lot of school this term. I should have known,” Ayana says now beginning to half listen as fear begins to tear up in her eyes. “Let’s take some deep breaths together. This place is starting to get to me. I think I have a fear of heights.”
“Take it easy Ayana,” she replies. “We were talking about me, weren’t we?”
“Yeah, sure,” she answers quickly. “Sorry about that. Why are we here again?”
“Because I don’t matter!” Rebekah sobs again.
Ayana watches her, sensing it would be unwise to let Rebekah sink back into intense hopelessness out there on the ledge. Her mind races. She takes another deep breath. “I know, pretend this part of you that thinks you don’t matter… pretend it’s a separate person. What is this person thinking about you? What is she saying about you…?”
“Well aren’t you just the master shrink?” Rebekah replies.
“Believe me, that’s not my intention,” she explains now breathing heavy. “My mom has me go through this exercise. It helps me look at things more objectively, not emotionally, not locked in.”
“I guess you’ve earned a little cooperation from me with that circus stunt you pulled. Okay, she – right?” Rebekah looks at Ayana who nods in confirmation. “She would say I’ve been miserable ever since we moved out to Arizona from New York. She also knows that I lost my uncle in the Sept. 11th attacks on the World Trade Center. The family deli was in the basement of Tower 2, and Uncle Sammy got caught making breakfast deliveries to the top floors. She knows that most of our family and friends thought it would be good for us to get away from the city and make a fresh start out here. The problem is, they’ve been so involved in opening their restaurant at Desert Summit…” She starts crying. “My parents barely know I’m alive.” Rebekah catches herself slipping back into first person.
“Wow,” Ayana answers tears now forming in her eyes. “I had no idea.”
“I think I lost perspective…” she continues. “She knows the part about me not having any friends. She knows the b.f.f.’s I left back east and that there’s nobody out here I can talk to, except maybe my H dealer, if you call that conversation. You can only imagine what he really wants. And yes, I started using this past year. Trying to ease the pain…now it’s all I think about.”
“How come you never said anything?” Ayana asks in a gentle tone. “How come I never noticed? I mean, we share a couple of classes together and my locker is just down the hall from yours.”
“No offense, but you’ve never made any particular effort to get to know me,” Rebekah retorts. She pauses. “Well, I shouldn’t be blaming you. It’s not your fault. When you feel so empty, it’s easier to try to remain invisible. I’ve been mastering that skill.”
In the distance, sirens can be heard, signaling the arrival of a rescue team. Ayana senses the urgency. “Say, we might not have much more time before the authorities get here, but we need to get back to this later. I just want you to know that I care. My parents ignore me, but for different reasons. We actually have a lot in common. And that internal voice of yours, that negative one outlining all this stuff, it’s not you. It’s your ego-fear, but it’s not you.”
“Weird,” Rebekah answers. “I’ve always suspected that there’s two of me in here. One’s sunny, the other’s dark.”
“What did you…?” Ayana asks. “Hmm. You might actually be able to help us with this special project we’re working on. It’s really why I’m here – trying to chase after the boys.” She points to Schuyler and Tate, who by now are standing near the railing. She gives them a surprising wave.
“Great,” Rebekah says, wiping away tears. “So much for anonymity.”
“Well, at least you’re not invisible. Besides, you don’t have to worry about those guys. They’re okay. Especially now that we’ve been following this trail of clues that will blow your mind.” She pauses. “Oops. Poor choice of words. “Anyway, things like this keep happening to us. That little angel is only the latest...”
“Angel,” she interrupts. “I figured something must have made you jump over here,” she answers.
“I’m not sure who that was really, but a big part of it is trust. Now you’ll just have to trust us, but you’ll see for yourself.” The rescue crew pushes the crowd back from the railing and sets up their equipment.
“Ayana,” Rebekah answers. “I do trust you. Who knows, maybe that little girl was the guardian angel I’ve been trying to contact for so long.”
The rescue crew ropes up, and begins to speak with the girls. Ayana assures them that they are stable. A few minutes later, they are safely back on the pavement behind Mather Point, surrounded by emergency medical personnel.
Tate and Schuyler slither through the crowd and draw near to Ayana, as a paramedic is taking her blood pressure. “You guys won’t believe what happened,” she says.
“What in the world were you doing?” Schuyler asks.
“Well, since you guys didn’t meet me at the lodge, I decided to recruit another helper,” she says with a smile.
Chapter 17: North Star
Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. - Dr. Albert Schweitzer
Knights of Light: Knight Vision Page 17