by K. L. Donn
The thought of leaving Nick and Ace felt like someone had stabbed Pepper in the heart with a dull blade and just kept pushing. It was hard to make the decision she was so tempted to without knowing what, if anything, was waiting at home for her. If she had a home.
Their town was so pretty, almost picture perfect. She could see herself settling into the small community. Raising a family in a cozy cabin in the mountains. She could so clearly see her entire life play out before her eyes if only she could remember.
The biting cold forced her hand when she suggested, “Coffee?” before they went shopping. There was no way she could handle the in and out of stores without something to warm her up.
“Good idea,” Ace called through the loud wind. Holding the door to the coffee shop open for her, peppermint immediately assaulted her senses as she took in the quaint interior. Christmas decorations still littered half the place.
“When was Christmas?” she asked suddenly. Having never thought about a date before, she was completely baffled now.
They shared a look that spoke volumes about something she probably should have clued into sooner. “A couple weeks ago,” Nick finally answered.
“Oh.” Pepper really had no clue what she expected from his answer. Just the not knowing when it was and realizing she missed it made her heart ache for some reason. She felt like she was overlooking something monumental.
Ace’s hand on her back brought her out of her nearly disastrous thoughts. They were leading towards a trainwreck she didn’t want to happen.
“What would you like?” he asked her softly.
Gazing up at the menu boards on the back of the wall, her vision began to swim with so many thoughts swirling around in her mind. “Something with vanilla, please,” she said to him, then walked towards an empty table.
The ups and downs and highs and lows were starting to wear on her frayed nerves. Every time she thought she was finally accepting the curveballs life was throwing at her, something popped up to make her doubt what she could do to change the outcome.
She watched as Ace ordered and Nick came to sit with her. They remained quiet for a couple of minutes before he finally asked, “What’s with the sad face, Snow?” God, did she love that nickname.
Picking at the napkin in front of her, she took a moment to ponder his question. To try and work it out in her mind. “I feel like I missed something. As if I’m forgetting something huge. It’s driving me crazy, Nick.” Weariness beat at her bones the longer her memory remained locked away.
His hand brushing along hers had her gazing up into his worried eyes. “You’ll get there, Pepper. We will help you. But you’ve got to stop trying to force them. You heard the doc this morning. Pressure won’t help.”
Sighing. “I know you’re right. It’s just so damn hard,” she replied, not looking away from him.
“I know. It’s why we planned for today to be nothing but fun.” Looking outside, he amended his statement. “Even though we may not get to do everything.”
Following his stare, she was shocked at how quickly the sun had disappeared and dark clouds were rolling in. She could hear the wind picking up speed as well.
“Does it always happen so quickly?” she asked him.
“Not always, no, but we knew we were in for a hell of winter after last year.”
“I remember hearing that. We hardly had any winter weather last year. I almost missed the snow.”
“That was a memory,” Ace cheered as he set their coffees down on the table, a huge smile spread across his handsome face.
“What?” she asked him confused.
“You said you remembered hardly any snow last year. That’s a memory,” he cheered again.
Looking at Nick, she saw a matching smile on his face. “I told you. Relax your mind; it’ll come.”
It amazed her how a recollection could happen so easily. It was the simplest of memories, yet she felt hope once again that if she could remember to keep her mind open and relaxed instead of focused and forced, her past would return.
“I guess so,” she agreed with her own happy grin.
He could see them sitting there, smiling…laughing. Every time one of them touched his Pepper, he wanted to gouge their eyes out with a rusty nail.
She was his! How did they not know that?
After the sheriff had shown up at the resort, he’d overheard some of the staff talking about how she had no memory. He wondered if it were true. Would she still be in this one-hick town if she did?
He doubted it. She was too good for the likes of this shithole. He just needed to get her back. Had to separate her from those men.
Maybe if he followed them around for a bit, he’d be able to corner her. Find out what she really recalls.
He knew if she remembered him, he’d have to take her with him. She couldn’t be left to tell them what he’d done to her. He couldn’t take the chance of exposure.
As they walked around town, ducking in and out of shops, Pepper couldn’t believe how nice everyone was to her. When asked, Nick and Ace introduced her as a family friend, not giving any hint as to what had happened to her.
In a way, she was grateful; however, she also wished she meant something more to them. She was ready to mean something more. She was also pleased with how their relationship was progressing. Not too fast, not too slow, with light touches and sweet kisses. It could be considered a win-win for them all.
Entering the department store beside the coffee shop where they’d started their day, the guys insisted she find some clothes better suited to her liking instead of having to wear theirs. Little did they know, she enjoyed being in their clothes. Knowing they wore it before her and then after her had some primal claim of ownership slipping across her mind.
Here two delectable companions watched indulgently from the front of the store. She talked to the owner as she chose undergarments and long flannel shirts. Preferring soft sweats to the breaking in of new jeans, she grabbed a few of those as well and walked towards the men with a handful of items.
Nick took them from her before she got to place them on the counter.
“Howdy, miss. Find everything?” the owner asked her.
“I did, thank you.” She smiled when Ace wrapped an arm around her waist. Studying his profile, she saw a sexy as sin scowl on his face, practically stamping his ownership all over her while Nick paid for her items.
Not much else was said after that since they rushed her from the store into the SUV before she could be introduced.
She probably shouldn’t tell either of them that she loved their claim on her.
Chapter Seven
The whole relaxing and not forcing her memories thing was wearing thin on Pepper. It was hard not to think about. To just try and let go of everything and enjoy shopping with the guys. They’d taken her to a couple quaint, little shops to get her new clothes and winter gear as well as grocery shopping since it was starting to flurry.
She loved seeing the trees covered in snow as they drove along the highway back to Nick’s cabin. It was so majestic. Reminding her of every Christmas movie in history. The snow glittered off the icicles as it landed, creating a medley of small rainbows as it melted from the sun straining to shine through the stormy clouds.
“Are we supposed to get much accumulation?” she asked the quiet men up front.
“Close to another foot or so,” Ace answered. “The temperature is supposed to drop to record lows because of the wind chill, so we might have to shut up the rooms and bunk in the living room to conserve heat.”
Tilting her head, she smiled slyly. “Like a slumber party?” She was only half kidding. When a heated look entered his eyes, she was forced to look away. Not because she didn’t want Ace, or Nick for that matter, but because she wanted them both fiercely.
Achieving the intimacy they would expect terrified her. With two of them and only one of her, the imagination went wild with all the possible positions they’d demand of her. Having no idea what he
r sexual experience was, the thought was intimidating.
Shaking herself from her own morbid yet titillating visions, she decided to play with them a bit. “So, this slumber party…” They gave her funny looks. “Will it involve pillow fights? Truth or dare? Maybe eating raw cookie dough?” Both men looked incredibly perplexed by her questions. Pepper got a sick sense of satisfaction from it.
“What are you talking about?” Nick finally asked, his voice filled with amusement.
“Don’t those things normally happen at a slumber party? I wouldn’t want you guys to miss out or anything.” It was hard keeping a straight face.
“Oh, we won’t be missing out.” Ace winked at her “We’ll have the best entertainment in the province.” He paused for effect. “Nick is chopping wood.”
“I don’t get it,” she said as his cousin punched his arm, telling him, “Shut the hell up.”
“What’s that mean? Can you not chop wood? Is it that hard? You did it fine the other day. I mean, I’d likely chop a limb off or something.” She was genuinely confused, while they were both up there laughing like loons. Sitting back, she decided it must be an inside joke or something. Didn’t mean it wouldn’t drive her insane until she found out.
If only she could see the wood Nick was sporting while Ace made his stupid joke. It wasn’t even funny. He was laughing more out of embarrassment than anything else. Nevertheless, he wasn’t about to confess to her that just the thought of sleeping in the same room as her had him hard as a rock.
They weren’t lying when they’d explained just how cold it was supposed to get overnight. There were two backup generators to help circulate heat, but he knew they would have to use them sparingly over the next few days.
Arriving back at the cabin, they quickly unloaded all their bags just as the heavier snow began to fall.
“What can I do?” Pepper asked after removing her coat and boots.
“Grab all the pillows and blankets you can from the rooms and bring them out here. Ace and I will grab wood and see if we can’t find those air mattresses,” Nick explained.
“Aren’t they in the shed?” Ace asked him.
“I think so.”
“Won’t they be half frozen? There’s no way they’ll hold air without popping.”
“Shit, you’re probably right,” Nick agreed as Pepper went in search of the bedding.
His mind was running in a thousand different directions, the majority of which was centered around Pepper and her reaction to when Christmas was. Before they lost power, which was going to be inevitable with the storm coming their way, he knew he was going to have to look a little harder into the information she’d already remembered.
There had to be something. He might be a small-town sheriff, but even he knew people didn’t just go missing without a trace.
Stacking wood in crates as Ace lined them against the wall on the porch for when they’d need them, he was so lost in thought he didn’t hear his cousin calling to him repeatedly. “Nick!”
“Yeah?” he finally answered.
“Where’s your head at, dude?”
Rubbing a hand down his face in frustration, he wasn’t positive he could answer that. “I don’t fucking know, man. I just keep thinking about everything she must be going through and if she’s ready for what we want?”
He watched as a dejected look crossed his cousin’s face. He knew how much Ace wanted to settle down, but he had to wonder if she was the right person. Having no idea who she was made it difficult.
“What are you afraid of, Nick?” Ace finally asked him.
“What?”
“You were all for going slow with her. I know you feel the connection, you know things are different with her. What’s scaring you?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ace,” Nick told him, lying through his teeth.
The other man knew exactly what he was talking about because he was right. Nick was scared. He was afraid she would regain her memory and have this whole other life she wanted to go back to.
Fighting his attraction wasn’t helping how he felt about her regaining her memory, either. He wanted Pepper with a ferocity he’d never experienced before. She was the last thing he thought about at night and the first in the morning. When she’d crawled into bed with him a few nights ago to wake him from a nightmare, he’d never felt quite so whole in his life. She completed a piece of himself he hadn’t known was missing.
“Let it go, Ace,” he said, not wanting to analyze his fucked-up emotions yet.
“No, Nick.” He had to push. “You’re going to ruin this for me as well, and I want that fucking woman with me. I won’t let you push her away. You’re either in this for the long haul, or you need to back the fuck off and let me have her.”
Speechless, shocked, pissed the fuck off. Nick felt it all. “Fuck you, Ace,” he snapped. “You left. I’ve had to deal with shit on my own, so you have no right telling me to back off.”
Dropping the crate of wood he was holding, Ace stormed towards him. Shoving him, he yelled at Nick. “Don’t put that on me. You wanted to stay, not me. I asked you to come along. You refused. We could have found her by now, been settled down, had a family. I didn’t ruin anything.” A sharp intake of breath halted any reply he’d have had as they looked at the porch and saw Pepper standing there, sadness plain to see on her face.
“Fuck,” he muttered as she grabbed a crate of wood and rushed into the house.
“I didn’t mean to do that,” Ace whispered brokenly.
Cutting his cousin some slack, he assured him. “I know, Ace.”
“I was literally talking about her, I mean it’s possible, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
They were both quiet after that, stacking and hauling wood until it was near dark. Nick had no clue how to fix what their argument had done. Neither were clueless to her attraction to them. If she’d come out just a minute sooner, she’d have known they were talking about her. That it wasn’t Ace that fucked up, but him.
It shouldn’t hurt so bad. So why did it? Pepper had no hold on either man. Just because she was attracted to them both didn’t mean they were to her. She was just some strange amnesiac they were helping.
She was a nobody to everyone.
So why does this hurt so much? she kept questioning herself. Keeping her distance was imperative, so she didn’t get any more attached to either of them than she already had.
Placing the crate of wood beside the fireplace, she worked on getting a flame started as Roxie watched from her position on the floor. The animal surveyed her every move when in her company. Always ready to cuddle the minute Pepper sat down to rest or stopped moving for more than three and a half seconds.
It was kind of sweet. To have someone wanting to spend time with her. To enjoy her company. Guess man’s best friend wasn’t the joke she thought it to be.
Finally happy with the strength of the burning wood, she got to work making three beds. Being sure that hers was away from theirs had her heart cramping and her breath stalling in her chest. She’d thought tonight would be a good time to get to know one another. She could find out more about them, their likes and dislikes, even though she couldn’t even confirm if she were a vegetarian or not. The idea had been to discover if and how well they were compatible. Now she hoped she could be asleep before they came inside.
Deciding she’d like to be able to see the storm as it happened, she made a small bed by the window for herself. Looking up to the stars quelled the sadness she constantly felt about not knowing her identity. Maybe it would take away the pain of not being wanted as well.
She could be overreacting. After all, she hadn’t heard the entire conversation, only enough to know that Ace had hoped to find “the one” years ago. That he wished they had children with that perfect woman.
Letting it go, she continued making their beds, ensuring they had plush bedding beneath them. Once finished, they still hadn’t come inside. She figured they w
ere glad she finally knew the truth, which led to a tear dropping from her eye as she made up sandwiches for them for dinner.
Just once, Pepper wished she could be that girl—the one men fought to keep. The one other girls were jealous of because she had an amazing man or men. She just wanted to belong to someone.
Putting food in Roxie’s dish and refilling her water, she placed them on the floor for the beautiful animal. Deciding to try for an early sleep, she laid down on the floor and wrapped the blanket as tightly as she could around herself. Watching as the night sky began to creep in, the moon lightened the window just enough for her to see Nick and Ace chopping and stacking more wood in the bitter cold rather than coming inside where it was warm simply because she was there.
Pain sucked the air from her lungs. Tears fell fast and hard.
Hurt enveloped her into sleep.
Ace wanted to kick his own ass. Right across the country. He couldn’t believe he’d said that knowing she might hear it. He had only wanted Nick to confess to what was bothering him. The last thing he planned to do was hurt Pepper. She was the nicest person he’d ever met. Always thinking of others before herself even though she was the one with the biggest problem.
He needed her to be theirs, God did he ever. He was merely trying to point out to Nick that they could have found her sooner if only Nick hadn’t been such a stubborn ass. At least, he’d like to believe that.
Ace put his faith in fate. Everything happened for a reason. He trusted that they hadn’t found Pepper sooner because they hadn’t been together. Who knew where she was from and if it were even possible to have met her before.
To him, finding her when they did wasn’t an accident. Finally, they were both ready to settle down and become a family. Meeting the right woman wouldn’t have been easy, and he’d known that, so finding Pepper injured on that mountain was fate’s way of saying here she is, take care of her, give her everything and show her you’re worthy. Unfortunately, careless anger on his part might have ruined everything.