I immediately see Dane, standing at the back wearing his Air Force blues. Next to him are his groomsmen, and on the other side of the stage are my bridesmaids. They each hold a small bundle of white flowers, and I look down at the white roses in my own hands for a second. Then, I look back up and notice my family and Dane’s family filling up each side of the church.
Dad leads me down the aisle slowly, and I watch my mom, and surprisingly, Jessica and Alec, wipe away tears with tissues in their hands. I smile at them but glance around the room. The church looks almost exactly the same as it usually does each weekend since my parents’ decoration budget was limited. Bows are tired to each row of chairs, and lanterns light the walkway, though. And little rose petals fill the floor from where Jessica dropped them.
We move in slow motion, but I remember Dad telling me to savor the moment of walking down the aisle. So that’s exactly what I do. Everyone watches us, and my stomach twists until finally, we reach the edge of the stage.
“Do you give Penelope away to be married?” Pastor Craig asks Dad. Dad says yes. His eyes are red, and I smile at him in hopes that it will help. Dad and I hug only for a second, and then he steps out of the way. I step up the few stairs slowly and walk onto the stage. My bridesmaids smile at me, and I smile back before turning to face Dane.
We both smile, but my face is tight. My mouth twitches from nerves, but hopefully, Dane can’t tell. His eyes watch me, and he checks me out, grinning even bigger. His hands are locked behind his back, though, so I imagine his nerves are high too. Neither of us are used to being the center of attention.
Everyone’s eyes are on us, and I suddenly worry what they must think, looking at us up here. We appear to be two young kids, getting married, and I wonder if they doubt us. I wonder if they’re skeptical because of how young we are. I try to focus on Dane and his sweet smile instead of my thoughts.
Craig speaks about the sanctity of Christian marriage, and sweat drips from his forehead. I try not to stare. Dane and I continue passing glances, and I wonder what runs through his mind right now. Craig continues, reading some Bible verses that we asked him to read and others that we didn’t ask for, but all of it goes in one ear and out the other. The ceremony creeps along too slowly. I wonder if I should feel more excited about this. This is my one and only wedding ceremony. But then, Craig announces that it’s time for us to exchange rings and vows, and either a burst of excitement or nerves fills my chest.
My bouquet of flowers is still in my hands, and I didn’t realize how tightly I was gripping to them. I turn around, trying to maneuver around my dress, and hand my bouquet to Peyton. Then, Craig hands Dane and I our written vows, and Monty hands Craig our wedding rings.
“Dane, you go first,” Craig says. Dane looks at me, and his eyes are wide. He clears his throat and rubs his hands on his pant legs.
“Apart from salvation, Penelope, you are the greatest gift God has given me.” Dane’s voice cracks, and he smiles nervously. I smile back, hoping he can read my mind. You’re doing great.
“It’s insane that I get a chance to promise myself to someone as beautiful and inspiring as you. Penelope, I’ve known from the very beginning you were different. I didn’t know where we’d go from that point, but I knew that if you were there to experience it alongside me, we’d be just fine. So, I promise to never stop loving you, regardless of distance, time apart, or our differences. I promise to support you, encourage you, and listen to you with compassion and understanding. I promise to honor and respect you when we are together and when we are not. I will remind you of your strengths and find dozens of ways to encourage you. I commit to loving you with my entirety. I promise to live in truth with you, as we fulfill God’s purpose for our lives and further His kingdom together. Above all, I promise to fight for us until my last breath.”
My heart beats fast, and I smile the whole time. But surprisingly, I don’t cry. The only thing running through my mind, really, is that I probably won’t remember any of this in a few hours. But at least, it was sweet in the moment. Now, it’s my turn. I swallow and look between Dane and my paper like I’m giving a speech for school.
“Dane Sutton, you have become the best surprise to ever walk into my life. When we met, I was in a routine of playing it safe, but with you, I learned to not be afraid to take risks. You were my first kiss, and you’ll be my only kiss and my last kiss. You took me on my first adventures and showed me who Jesus is and introduced me to photography, which is something I’ve come to love. We’ve built a strong foundation in a year, despite being apart for more than half our relationship. But through the distance, the memories, and all the love, I know you’re exactly who I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with.
So Dane, I take you to be my lifelong partner until eternity with God. I promise to listen to you, even when we’re both being stubborn. I promise to take care of you and to be your strength when times get hard. I promise to always be ready to go on spontaneous adventures with you. I promise to be honest and faithful, to communicate, and to always work through any problems we may face in the years to come. I promise to be the best I can be for you and with you, as your wife and as your best friend. I love you.”
We hold eye contact, and my heart beats even harder than before. The pressure of everyone watching and listening is overwhelming, but Dane’s loving eyes and sweet smile slowly calm me. My heart has never felt more full. We hand our wedding vows to Craig, and he hands us our wedding rings.
“Do you, Dane Sutton, take Penelope Freeman to be your lawfully wedded wife until death do you part?” Craig asks. Dane holds my hand with my wedding band on the edge of my finger.
“I do,” Dane says, sliding the ring all the way on. Then, I take Dane’s hand and hold his wedding band at the edge of his finger.
“And do you, Penelope Freeman, take Dane Sutton to be your lawfully wedded husband until death do you part?”
“I do,” I say and slide his ring onto his finger. I look behind me at my family, and they’re all smiling and teary eyed. I smile at them as if to say, “This is really happening, and I’m really happy to have your support.” Hopefully, they know that. Then, I look back at Dane.
“Then by the power vested in me by the state of Indiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dane leans forward too quickly, and his kiss pushes me off balance. I grab his arm and step one foot back in order to catch myself from falling. Our lips touch for only a few seconds before it’s over, and we step apart. But I smile big for everyone, as we face our friends and families. They stand, clapping and cheering for us, but I feel uneasy. The kiss was awkward, and nerves ruled over my body throughout the entire ceremony. Now, I’m breaking out of a trance and walking back down the middle aisle. Music is supposed to be playing, but hands clapping together drown out any other noise. I smile, though, and wave at my family, as Dane and I walk out of the sanctuary.
We head for another room where the wedding party will meet to take more photos, holding hands but not speaking. When we reach the room, it’s full of baby toys and rocking chairs. Dane quickly leans down and gives me another kiss. Something like electricity surges through the room, and my heart beats fast again. The ceremony’s details are already cloudy in my mind, as the next thing on our to-do list pops into my head. Although we barely have time to enjoy each other’s presence before the room will be flooded with our wedding party, Dane takes my face in his hands.
“We just got married,” he says excitedly. His eyes are bright, and his smile is contagious.
“Yes, we did.” We kiss again until the wedding party interrupts us by walking in.
Our photographer spends the next half an hour taking hundreds of photos. Dane and I pose with our families and wedding party in dozens of separate photos, and then almost everyone scurries back inside to wait for the reception to begin in the gymnasium.
Dane and I pose together for a couple of shots, but the sun beats down on us. My hair gets tan
gled in my veil for one shot, and I lose my patience.
“That’s enough,” I say. The photographer and Dane look at me, offended and concerned, but I lead the way back inside without saying anything else. I’m not trying to be bridezilla, but I want to get to the fun part. I want to sit, eat, and dance with my husband, so that’s what we’re going to do.
The wedding party already stands in place outside the gym doors, waiting for Dane and I before entering. When they see us, someone at the front of the line gives a thumbs up to Craig, who is now inside the gym, and he begins introducing the wedding party to the reception. Dane looks at me with weary eyes, as the front of the line begins to move.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be having fun,” he says. He takes my hand and squeezes it lightly. I look up at him and smile.
“I am.”
“Okay, good.” He smiles back and leans down to give me a kiss on my forehead.
Then, Craig introduces us into the reception, and we walk into the gym to clapping and cheering. Anxiety creeps into my chest, as everyone’s eyes look directly at Dane and me. The dozen tables my family and I set up yesterday are only half-full, and I’m finally realizing that the attendance is way lower than I originally expected. But almost everyone I would want to be here are here, so I guess that’s all that matters.
Dane and I stay on the dance floor for our first dance, and “All I Want” by Kodaline begins to play overhead. Dane takes me hand and places the other on my hip, and I place mine on his shoulder like I did over a year ago in downtown Indianapolis. And like that night, Dane and I clumsily waltz around the floor.
All eyes are on us, and as I slowly waltz in circles to the four-minute song, I can see everyone and everything. Our wedding party sits at a long table on the stage with two open seats in the middle for Dane and me, and from the looks of it, Peyton is crying. The room looks like a typical gymnasium, and I’m realizing the lack of decorations is a bit disappointing. But the tables where everyone else sits are decorated with vases of marbles, flowers, and candles.
One table stands near a wall with our simple white and silver wedding cake on it, and four other tables stand along another wall with trays of food, waiting to be eaten. People stare at us‒some smiling and some not‒ and it’s kind of awkward. I finally look up at Dane.
“This is kind of awkward,” I whisper. He smiles nervously and nods his head.
“Yep.”
“Everyone is staring at us,” I say. My family comes into view, and I smile at them. Most of them are teary-eyed, and only Mom smiles back.
“Yep, but it’s okay. This is our wedding day. The attention is supposed to be on us,” Dane says. He stares into my eyes, and I smile and nod. He smiles too, and his dimples show.
Finally, the song comes to an end, and Dane leans down to give me a kiss. Everyone claps, and then Dad walks onto the dance floor. Dane walks onto the stage and sits next to Monty, who pats him on his shoulder.
Now, “My Little Girl” by Tim McGraw starts playing, and Dad and I sway around the floor. We don’t say anything because there are really no words that can measure up to this moment. Instead, we smile, and I occasionally glance at Dad’s face to see his eyes full of tears. A rock forms in my throat, so now, I try not to cry. The lyrics touch my heart, and the reality that I’ll be leaving my dad soon sets in. We only have a day and a half left before Dane and I fly to Washington, and all the time suddenly flew by right in front of me.
My heart beats hard in my chest because I don’t know what’s ahead. Dane and I spent so long apart and struggled so much, but now we’re married. And I wonder if that’s supposed to fix all the mishaps that happened during the last year. My heart tells me ‘no.’
Dad and I’s song comes to an end, and we hug it out instead of crying in front of everyone.
“I love you, and I’m really proud of you,” Dad says.
“I love you too,” I say. Those are the words that every child longs to hear from their parents, and they couldn’t have come at a better time. We break apart from our hug, and I walk up onto the stage to find my seat. Dane awaits me and pulls my chair out. Peyton hugs me from the side.
“You had me crying,” she says.
We finally release everyone to get dinner, but I barely eat anything. Instead, I watch my friends and family walk among the gym, getting food and chatting with each other. They smile and laugh, and I smile too. I’m going to miss these people.
After awhile, Dane and I make our rounds around the gym, thanking friends and family for coming and meeting a bunch of people for the first time. Many of their names go in one ear and right out the other because so many other things are on my mind. Eventually, I give up on trying to keep my extended family entertained and head to the dance floor. The only people in the middle of the room are the members of the wedding party, but honestly, it doesn’t matter to me.
I basically DJ the rest of the night, adding songs to the wedding playlist that I made and skipping songs that aren’t getting people excited. My bridesmaids and I dance with the groomsmen like it’s the prom we never knew we needed, while Dane continues entertaining our guests. Maybe I should feel bad, but I figure it’s my big day. So I’m going to dance the night away if that’s what I want to do. Occasionally, I grab Dane from a conversation and drag him to the dance floor with me, only to watch him leave a song later to chat with someone else. But I figure if he wants to mingle, then so be it.
Once people start leaving, Mom interrupts my little dance party.
“You should cut the cake before more people start to leave,” she says. I frown but nod, following her to the cake table. Dane meets us there, and we stand in front of it like two children who were asked to do taxes.
“Please help us,” I say to my mom, and she walks back over to us. I smile awkwardly to the crowd, who now watch Dane and I make fools of ourselves. Mom hands Dane the cake knife and positions my hands over his, so we’re both holding onto it.
“Now, cut right there,” she says, pointing to a random spot on the cake. So we do. And then, we cut again and pull out the small piece of cake onto a napkin. Dane seems to know exactly what to do now because he smiles mischievously, picks up a piece of the cake, and smashes it all over my face. I stand in shock for a few seconds before my sense comes back to me, and I pick up a piece and try to smash it into Dane’s face. But he dodges it, smiling like a child, and runs away.
People smile and laugh around us, but I shake my head and walk out of the gym to wash the cake off my face in a bathroom. When I come back, half the cake is gone, and I head right back to the dance floor.
The wedding party I dance for two more hours, while the majority of my guests leave. Very few of them tell me goodbye. Even Susan leaves with my aunt and uncle without a goodbye, but I don’t mind too much. Eventually, only mine and Dane’s immediate families, some of the wedding party, and a few helpers are left. Someone turns the lights back on in the gym, and the fun is officially over.
My heart sinks when I look at my three best friends staring sadly at me.
“This is the last time we’ll see you for a long time,” Allie says. She’s absolutely right.
I sit on the dirty gym floor, not caring that I’m still in my white wedding dress, and Allie, Beth, and Peyton sit down next to me. Our faces are full of gloom, and I don’t know exactly what to say.
“You guys are my best friends, and I’m so grateful that you were here for me,” I say. Suddenly, the realization that Lin, my best friend of 5 years, and Courtney, my friend of 9 years, didn’t show up to my wedding hits me, and tears start to fall down my face.
“What’s wrong?” Allie asks, leaning over and putting her hand on my shoulder.
“Lin and Courtney didn’t even come,” I say. The girls’ eyes widen, and then they frown.
“They didn’t even deserve to be invited,” Peyton says.
“Yeah, and we had so much fun without them. They’re jerks,” Beth says.
“It just sucks,” I s
ay, “I thought they were my friends, but they couldn’t even come to the most important event of my life.” Allie rubs my back, letting out a small sigh.
“I know,” she says, “It really sucks, but Peyton is right. They don’t even deserve to be your friend with everything you’ve done for them, and they can’t even do this one thing for you. That just shows their true personalities.” I nod.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Allie says, leaning over to give me a hug. Beth and Peyton agree.
“What are we going to do without you?” Peyton asks.
“Yeah, you’re like a guru for us. What will we do without your advice all the time? Maybe you can give us all one last piece of advice,” Allie says.
“Yeah!” Beth and Peyton agree. They all smile, looking hopeful again, and I nod.
“Okay. I’ll start with you, Beth.” Beth looks at me carefully with a sad smile.
“I’m so thankful for you,” I say and already start to choke up, “because you stepped in to be my bridesmaid when other people wouldn’t. You’ve supported me since the beginning, and I’m so thankful. I’ll never forget our Bible study dates, and I’m so glad we got to get closer to each other and to God this year. I’m so glad you were there to help me through AP Psych too.”
We both laugh, reminiscing on how only a few weeks ago, we studied for the AP Exam together after my bridal shower.
“I want you to continue to study the Bible, even when I’m gone, and I hope you’ll continue to grow closer to God. You’ve inspired me, and I know you’ll continue to inspire others with your faith. So never give that up.” Beth smiles and nods, wiping away a tear.
“Peyton,” I say, turning to face her, and she already has tears in her eyes. She laughs and takes a deep breath.
“You’ve been my best friend since kindergarten, and even though we’ve drifted over the years, I know we’ll be friends for the rest of our lives. You’ve watched me grow to become the person that I am today, and you’ve impacted me so much over the years. I hope that you continue to be yourself, to be confident, and to make people laugh because that’s who you are. I hope you continue to search for the thing you’re most passionate about, and when you find it, I hope you give it your all. I hope you never give up on yourself or your dreams because you have so much amazing potential, and you deserve the world.” Tears fall from her eyes and from my own, and she nods at me.
Love Lasts Page 27