by H. E. Trent
Was Erin jealous that Headron had let him, because she hadn’t been easily able to? A little.
“You’ll probably…never see this the other way,” Headron said haltingly, his fingers gliding briefly across the crook of her arm—including her in some small way, as always.
“Why not?” she asked.
He withdrew his hand, but she followed it back to the seat and took up the same sort of massage Esteben had been giving it. He gripped her hand tightly, nearly crushing her fingers, but she didn’t care.
“He’s happy to either give or receive,” Esteben said. “I’m not.”
“You’ve discussed this?”
“No.” Headron pushed up onto his forearms and forced some air out through his clenched teeth.
“Such things are usually clear enough,” Esteben said.
“Lucky for you he’ll go either way, then,” Erin said.
“Lucky for both of us, I imagine.”
Esteben placed his hands on Headron’s hips and pulled the other man back hard against him.
She was throbbing down below, aching to be filled, but she understood that the moment wasn’t hers. It was Esteben’s and Headron’s, and they needed to connect in that way. They needed to promise their bodies to each other the way Headron had been trying to promise his to her, and Esteben the same way.
Esteben leaned forward and whispered into Headron’s ear, and Erin couldn’t hear the words, but whatever they were made Headron nod with great effort and push up onto his hands and knees.
One thrust.
Another.
Esteben said something in Jekhani that Headron repeated, and then it became a chant.
They repeated whatever it was until the end when Esteben pulled himself out and wrapped Erin’s fist around his emptying cock, and she wondered if the foreign word was too sacred for her to ask for a translation of.
Or too vulgar.
She slid her fist, cum and all, off the end of Esteben’s shaft and stole a look at Headron.
He’d collapsed onto his belly again and was breathing heavily into the seat bottom.
“Could you find us something?” Esteben’s hand was pinned beneath Headron’s midsection, and he was probably palming the same sort of seepage as Erin.
“Oh. Right.” She crawled carefully out of the flyer and hurried to the hose installed just outside the doors and near the rarely used trough. She washed her hands and tracked across the dank building to the storage crates that held random odds and ends they hadn’t quite finished cataloguing, but Erin had gotten through a few with Court. She knew one contained holey old blankets that Trigrian meant to repurpose at some point. She grabbed a rag-sized piece of one and carried it to the flyer.
“Hopefully you didn’t leave any sticky evidence of your tryst in the backseat,” Erin said as she tossed the cloth inside.
“Come morning light, the seat will again look as it should,” Esteben said.
He got them cleaned up, and she watched them slip back into their pants, exit the vehicle, and pull the doors down.
She followed a couple of meters behind them as they walked toward the barn door, hands in her pockets, teeth set into her bottom lip.
Now what?
She hadn’t thought about what would come next when she’d been ogling their sweaty, writhing bodies. She’d only been thinking about how right they looked together and berating herself for her jealousy. They’d offered her a place, and the only commitment she’d been able to give was, “I’ll think about it.”
She wanted more than to think. She wanted them.
Headron deactivated most of the barn lights and backtracked to Erin.
He crouched in front of her, oddly, and she couldn’t figure out why until he heaved her onto his back and wrapped her legs around his waist.
“Time for a bit of a hike,” he said. “I want to show you something.”
“What?” She didn’t know where they could be hiking her off to when so much was left unsettled—when she was so unsettled.
“You’ll see. It’s only a kilometer.”
“I can walk a kilometer, Headron.”
“As can I. I wish to carry you.”
“Why?”
“So you don’t fib and say you have other things to do,” Esteben said. He gave her rear end a slap and she sighed over Headron’s shoulder.
“I came out here looking for my staff, then stayed for the show, and apparently now you two want to take me on an adventure. We should talk.”
“We’ll help you find your staff,” Headron said. “And…did you enjoy the show?” There was laughter in his voice.
He’d ignored her request, but she wasn’t going to let him forget. “There’s no good answer for that,” she muttered. “Either I say yes and you think I’m a perv or I say no and you call me a liar.”
He and Esteben headed toward the creek.
“You need to see this first before we start making plans,” Headron said.
“Plans for what?”
“The household,” Esteben said. “You should see where it’ll be.”
“Wait—” She tried to pop off Headron’s back, but he was gripping her shins too tightly. He knew her too well, and that was likely why he’d insisted on carrying her in the first place. “What household?”
“Ours.”
“I don’t follow. Maybe you could let me in on the big secret?”
“Simple, Erin,” Esteben said. “We need a home to put all our children.”
“Um, you don’t have any children.”
“A minor oversight you’ll be correcting soon enough.”
She chuckled and freed an arm from around Headron’s neck so she could tap her ears a few times. She wondered if perhaps they were clogged and if she wasn’t hearing them right.
“Trigrian has granted us some land to do with as we see fit,” Headron said, “so we’ll still get to be a part of the farm while living apart from the main household’s activities.”
“You’re building a house?”
“Mm-hmm. One that others will envy, for sure,” Esteben said. “Jekhan homes tend to be built in sections over time, starting with the gathering space and kitchen, and usually a single bedroom. We’ve decided to build over a crawlspace like some of your Earth houses. That should minimize the risk of flooding.”
“You’ve already discussed this?”
“Minimally, just some very basic conversation about cost and timelines before we…” Headron cringed. “Got distracted.”
“Yeah. I guess so.” She’d always found dick to be distracting, too, and definitely Esteben’s.
“Obviously, we’re very motivated. We’re not as young as two men just starting out should be.”
“And you want to play house with me.”
“We’re not building you a separate space,” Esteben said. “In case you’d gotten that idea in your head, you may as well dispense with it now. You’ll live with the family.”
“Hold on. Do I not have a say in the future you’re evidently planning for me?”
“What is there for you to say? No?”
“I—”
“Don’t speak that word, Erin,” Headron said. “Do not.”
“I—”
“You’re scared. I understand that. That’s why I gave you room and time to think.”
Yes. That was why. In the barn, she’d meant to shout, “Fine, yes!” at them and, standing there with them offering her everything, she still couldn’t.
Why can’t I?
“Why do you care so much what other people think?” Headron asked.
“This isn’t about what they think. It’s about what I think.”
“Really?” Esteben asked, incredulity laced tight through his deep voice.
“I think I would know what, exactly, I’m objecting to, and I’ve made those things very clear.”
“You may think you have, but I’m not convinced you truly know yourself what it is you’re trying to say no to.”
; “I agree,” Headron said. “I don’t want to upset you, Erin. That’s obviously never been my intent. I like seeing you smile, and ever since you sent me out looking for a suitable mate, you haven’t been doing very much smiling. Does that make sense to you?”
“I didn’t want to send you out looking. At the time, I thought what I was doing was prudent, and you wouldn’t have lost anything from the deal.”
“Except you. You were trying so hard to reject not only me, but what I could be for you.”
“I’m not supposed to want that.”
“Says who?” Esteben asked. “Is there some handbook of righteousness you’re following that specifically details how you’re supposed to behave toward people who wish to couple with you?”
“There’s no handbook, just common sense. Common sense says that if your grandfather sullies the family name by clinging to his morals and then you fling yourself across the universe seeking to uphold them, then you shouldn’t harm the people’s chances of flourishing again. He raised hell on two planets over the treatment of a race of people who couldn’t defend themselves, and what am I? The exact sort of predator we were raised not to be.”
Headron narrowed his eyes. “I…propositioned you, Erin. Not the other way around.”
“And I could have said no.”
“But you didn’t want to.”
She raked a hand through her hair forcefully and didn’t care if it stuck up. Both men had seen her at her worst. A cowlick was hardly worth worrying about.
“At first I told myself I just felt sorry for you, but that was a lie from the start. You were a nice guy.” She pinched the bridge of her nose at the burn of her sinuses. PMS had blown over without major incident, but her hormones were obviously still a tempest. Suddenly, everything made her tearful.
He cut his gaze to Esteben. “Why does nice sound like an insult?”
“Apparently, the McGarry women had a habit on Earth of consorting with men of a particular sort.”
“I did the best I could!” she shouted. “I…I don’t know what else I can say, but there you have it. No, I didn’t want to send you to someone else, Headron. Seriously? What sane, straight woman would do that? But don’t you understand why I had to try?”
“I understand that you thought you had to, but you didn’t. You didn’t take anything that wasn’t freely given to you.”
“Aggressively given,” Esteben said.
“Yes. If you think this is going to make you happy—being here on the farm and living with Esteben and me—don’t refuse on principle what we’re giving you. If people want to criticize you for having dirty hands after you’ve proclaimed yourself to be so noble, so fucking be it. You know the truth. You should smile in that truth and be a light for those who’d wish to open their eyes enough to see. Do you want this, Erin? Or…does nice not suit you?”
“It suits me,” Esteben said. He smoothed the hair at the very top of Erin’s head, and Erin tried to find some words for the men.
Any words.
Headron had been right. She was afraid, and felt like she’d broken rules that existed for a good reason. Anxiety kept her knotted up inside.
Anxiety kept her from giving those men what they needed and deserved, and they weren’t really asking for that much. They weren’t asking for anything she couldn’t easily give.
Oh my god, this is happening.
She hadn’t taken anything that hadn’t been given to her.
They chose her, and she could sleep easily at night knowing their truth.
She had to believe them.
“Someone’s going to have to explain this to Mimi,” she whispered.
“Explain what?” Headron asked.
“Why I’m in a relationship with two men at once.”
“I will do the explaining,” Esteben said. “I will tell her it is the Jekhan way.”
She laughed dryly and didn’t bother trying to catch the tears that fell. She’d been holding them in for too many months. They needed to be let out. “Good luck.”
“You shouldn’t doubt his ability to convince people of the correct way of things,” Headron said.
He carried her to a tall tree with silver-green leaves and pulled her in close with one arm while gesturing toward the land before them with the other. “Home sweet home, as you Terrans might say.”
“You’re showing me patchy grass, an anemic stream, and that one mountain in the distance that kind of looks like a nipple at the top.”
“He’s showing you the possibilities,” Esteben said. “Close your eyes and imagine what could be there. A home built to your liking, a place to grow old.”
She started at the placement of his hands onto her waist, but her heart quickly resumed its former rate. Keeping her eyes closed, she took a deep breath and tried to form the picture in her mind. A sprawling ranch-style house with the big porch Mimi had always wanted before she left the South. A bit of landscaping, perhaps—colorful flowers and leafy ornamentals for Erin to fuss over in the mornings. Perhaps a little gazebo near the stream where she could read and decompress, or just watch people come and go from the workshop where Headron did all his baking.
She’d like that. She’d never thought she’d be a girl who’d get set up in her own dream home. “And what do you get, Esteben?”
“Hmm?” He tracked his thumbs up to the bottom edge of her ribs and kissed her forehead.
“What belongs to you in this picture in my brain?”
“I’m a man of simple needs.”
“Bullshit.”
He chuckled and pulled her closer to him, and away from Headron. He folded strong arms around her and tucked her head beneath her chin. “I can do my work anywhere, including from bed.”
“I’m sure you’ll be doing lots of so-called working there.”
“I believe I’ve proven that I can work in all sorts of places.”
Erin found herself pressed between two male bodies, and it wasn’t such a bad place to be.
She let out a strangled giggle, then opened her eyes against Esteben’s chest and looked up.
Headron had leaned in and their lips were touching. Just a brief kiss before he pulled away, his cheeks flushed red, taking Erin’s hand as he went.
“How did you get that scar over your lip, anyway?” he asked Esteben.
“You can blame Shaid.”
Headron’s eyebrows knit angrily.
Erin didn’t know who Shaid was, but she was feeling pretty pissed, herself.
“The evening the institution collected me, I fought. He helped them. The stone of his ring cut me.”
“You’ll have to excuse me for feeling uncharitable toward him.”
Esteben shrugged.
“Who’s Shaid?” Erin asked.
“Likely, a dead man,” Esteben said, “so let’s not speak ill of him. Let us go do our imaginings at the house. With all that talk of bread, I didn’t actually get any supper.”
She knew a subject change when she heard one, but she’d let it drop. Some things just weren’t worth pressing on and, apparently, he had already worked through the trauma with Headron.
“Come to think of it,” she said, following them, “I didn’t eat, either. I was too busy quibbling with Owen about the improvements to the COM grid on the farm that I didn’t go to the table.”
“Hopefully, they held some food in reserve for us,” Esteben said.
They weren’t going to immediately find out. Before they could pass over the threshold at the main house, Court was shouting at them from the office, and calling them over.
“Erin, hurry up before the signal goes down!”
Erin had no idea what had gotten Court so excited, but she started running, anyway. When a woman who wasn’t prone to excessive emotion suddenly started jumping up and down, that was a good enough cue for Erin to haul ass.
“What is it?” Erin jogged through the doorway and saw Owen at the COM monitor, which was feeding in a live call. “Who is that?”
�
��We finally got the damn thing up with video, but the satellites are so unreliable,” Court said. “Erin, they got Granddad.”
“What?” Erin squeezed into the space at Owen’s right and looked at the two people on the screen. She recognized Edgar Salehi. He’d driven the getaway vehicle after Court’s Buinet prison break. Her brain needed a few more seconds to process why the lady beside him was familiar, though.
That shuttle attendant…
Erin hadn’t understood why the lady had insisted that Erin lock her stasis compartment from the inside. No one ever used that feature, but when the lady had leaned in and whispered, “Do it!” as the ship’s captain passed, leering at Erin as he made his pre-flight checks, Erin had fucking done it.
“He’ll be up and about soon,” Salehi said. “Your brother and sister will fill you in on all the details in case I don’t get them out before this call drops, but he’s okay. Ehh…” Salehi grimaced. “Just a little frostbitten, maybe.”
The lady beside him groaned.
“We’ll be in your part of space within the next week, hopefully. We’re not only waiting for your grandfather to shake off his icicles, but there’s a bit of a blockade on this station right now, and many others. Ask your brother why. We’re going to try to sneak off the surface and push our tin can to top speed as soon as the vessels nearby pull away. They’re looking for something we’ve got, and the kind folks here are doing everything they can not to give away the fact we’re on the surface.”
“What the hell do you have that shouldn’t be yours?” Erin asked.
He shrugged. “Something that shouldn’t be theirs, either. You’ll see when we get there.” He looked to Owen. “I’ll need more precise coordinates when we enter the system. I won’t ask you to transmit them now on the off chance our conveyance gets intercepted before we get back. We’re going to do our best to avoid detection by the city grids, but—”
The signal cut out.
“Fuck.” Owen slammed his palm onto the desktop and pushed away.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Court said. “Just think, if you hadn’t been in here tinkering, you would have never caught the call. We would have just gotten a message whenever we tried to hook up to the grid again.”