I dream of having love one day. I imagine the love that already fills my heart, growing. I know what everyone tells me about Marco and I know what I’ve been told about Evan.
Marco is someone that I can remember and the feelings that I have for him, but Evan is something different, I feel alive around him. Electric really.
Feelings that can’t be described in words come over me when he’s around. My feet can’t feel the ground and the blood flows through my body in a heated wave.
I’ve always guessed that when you loved someone you feel the earth wrap around the intense emotions you’d feel for that one special soul.
The place my heart wants to go isn’t pretty. This place is unknown and I don’t see anything I understand. I need to be reminded of my life, and I think the things that I will one day remember, will be darker than anyone thinks, especially after Evan’s revelation.
Hmm, what do I do with that information anyway?
“Abby? Are you there?”
“Wha-?” I’m once again broken from my thoughts.
That’s been happening a lot lately. I’m stuck in my own head, lost really. I know there are roads leading to the answers I want, but I can’t find them.
“Time to go.” Amy nods to my parents. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s get the hell out of here.”
“Thanks,” I say to Hollister and I see that his eyes are holding an empty stare and it kind of leaves a sour feeling in my stomach. I didn’t mean to do that. But, I didn’t ask for his interest either.
“You’re welcome Abby, I’ll see you soon.” His left hand reaches out brushing the small of my back.
I’m not sure if my parents catch this, but the eye roll coming from Amy tells me she does. She’s definitely team Evan. I want to laugh at her. She can be so territorial and I love it. Mostly because, this I remember about her. I’ll take just about anything right now. If I can remember then it feels like mine and hope circulates through my heart.
“Yes definitely.” I blink.
My dad grabs my bag making a grunting noise. He’s just teasing me.
“It’s not that heavy, old man,” I laugh.
“You’re going to think old when I out-run you one day.”
He’s been working out and running the track at the gym lately, my mom has assured him she isn’t letting him have a heart attack any time soon.
I smile.
Everyone insists that I ride out of the hospital in style, and by style I mean a wheelchair which, of course, I could do without.
My dad’s car is waiting for us at the front door.
“Oh, thank God, I couldn’t take another day in that place,” Amy says popping her lips then tossing her gloss back into her bag.
“Oh, this is going to be great, baby girl. I’m going to cook your favorite for dinner.”
Amy and I immediately break our necks looking at each other.
“Mom, you’re cooking?” If I remember anything I remember my mom doesn’t cook. She dabbles, but that’s what Frank the chef does and has done for the last fifteen years. Alison Hayes can stick to things she’s good at.
Amy and I both laugh before my mom can answer.
“Hey, I can cook,” she pouts and just as I see the sad face, I see a wink from her beautiful green eye.
“Are you ready to go home?” she asks behind her Coco Chanel sunglasses.
I think about that question for a moment. My eyes wander out of the window to the bright sunny day. “Absolutely.”
A smile fills my cheeks and I take a deep relieving breath knowing I’m going to be better soon. I will be a whole person again.
I’m broken from my euphoric state when my dad blares his horn. I swing my head to the left and see a dark sedan inches away from the driver’s side, the side Amy and my dad are on. I grip the leather seat in front of me because I know an accident is moments away.
“Don’t they see us?” Amy yells.
The car quickly slows down and by the time I’ve turned my head to the back window they’ve already turned.
“Must be teenagers,” my dad hisses.
I take a deep breath because that was really close.
“Assholes,” Amy whispers.
I feel my phone vibrate in my hands.
Evan: How are you?
I quickly think about the answer I’ll give him. Should I tell him that I can’t stop thinking about him, or how my dreams make me want him every second?
My pounding heart’s slowing down, but images of the last dream I had of the sexy love king are going to put the pounding back into overdrive.
I shiver.
Abby: I’m good how are you?
Evan: Where are you?
Abby: Almost home, yay.
Evan: Oh, my house then?
Abby: No my parents.
Evan: Can I see you?
Abby: I don’t know when my parents will let me out of their sight.
Evan: Can I come there?
I look up to see Amy gawking at my phone with a cheesy grin on her face. Oh, I’m sure she’s thrilled.
“Tell him, yes,” she hisses quietly not wanting to bring attention to herself.
“Should I?”
“Yes, and you should have a long time ago, doll.”
We both squeal in the back seat and it’s like we’re teenagers again.
My phone’s knocked out of my hands when my father slams on the brakes. “What’s going on?”
I fumble for my phone that’s fallen to the floorboard. I slip my fingers around it and sit back up seeing the same dark car out of my rear passenger window this time.
“What the-?”
“What?” Amy asks.
“Do you think that’s the same car?” My eyes don’t leave the dark windows hiding the driver.
“No. Hey, which do you like better?” Amy attempts to pass me her phone, but I don’t take it or pay attention to the screen.
I know that’s the same car.
My phone buzzes again.
Evan: Where did you go?
Abby: Sorry traffic is horrible.
Evan: Can I see you Abby? I really need to see you.
“Yes doll.” Oh, now she’s paying attention.
Abby: Yes.
Evan: Now?
Abby: I’m still on the road.
Evan: Ok.
“Uh huh, you need that man Abby, he loves you so much.”
I catch myself biting my bottom lip and a smile curves onto my cheeks. I don’t know that she’s right, but there’s something special about him and my heart knows it.
I see the gates as we approach the large white house that I grew up in. Butterflies make their way to my tummy.
Home sweet home…
Chapter Four
Abby
Walking in through the doors and seeing that everything’s just as I remember it, takes me back to a time that I don’t feel lost in.
The large entrance is tiled in black and white. A large glass chandelier hangs from the twenty foot ceiling. I first smell them and then notice the large, beautiful pink roses situated on the decorative table located in the center of the entrance.
I’m standing in the foyer looking around at how everything is so familiar.
“Gotta get changed,” Amy announces.
“You ok?” My dad wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“Mhmmm.” I nod looking up to his face.
“Good, let’s get you settled in and then we can watch a movie in the theater room?” He nods his head yes, trying to psych me into agreeing with him.
“What movie?” I smile.
That used to be our most favorite thing to do on family night.
“Whatever you want as long as I also like it.” He laughs.
“Do you two think I’m letting you pick?” my mom chimes in.
“Ha, well ‘Lifetime’ it is.” Amy laughs as she approaches. “This has been a blast and all, but I’m leaving. I’ll be back later.” Amy pulls my hand leading me
into the hallway. “Call him doll, he needs you and you need him.”
I nod.
I don’t know that she’s right, but maybe I want her to be.
“Do you think that he’s going to hurt you?” She rolls her eyes.
I shrug.
“Do you honestly believe I’d be pushing this? You know my keen senses can smell. I can sniff out a TDB a mile away, doll. I know he isn’t a TDB.” Amy says referring to the nickname we’ve made for a ‘Total Douche Bag.’
She sounds so sure. I drop my head. “Amy, I know you mean well, but I have to figure this out on my own, ok?” I nod.
“Mhmmm, I know you do, but he loves you so much. Face it, you know you have feelings for him too. I see the way you look at him.”
“Why are you always defending him?” This is the question I’ve been dying to ask.
She kicks her hips and throws her arms in the air. “I give up.” She sighs loudly. “I’ve explained this to you already, doll.” She grabs me by the shoulders. “He fucking loves you, Abby. Don’t screw up a good thing.” She stares me down. “Just say you’ll give it serious thought.”
I nod again.
“I gotta go.” She looks at her watch. “I’m working till, I don’t know, probably one or so. Call if you need me.” She kisses my forehead. “Abby, I want the fucking world for you. He’ll be that.” She winks.
“Amy?” I ask as she heads toward the entrance.
She turns in her Prada shoes tossing her bag over her shoulder. “I love you.”
“Not more than I love you, doll.” She blows me a kiss.
“Everything ok?” Sue asks.
“Oh my God, it’s so good to see your face.” I attack her with a hug.
“Oh baby, I’m so glad you’re finally here. Your mom is trying to mess in the kitchen, but I’ve saved you and your father from that nightmare.” She holds her hand to her mouth stifling her laugh.
“Thank you for that. She’s becoming all domesticated.”
‘Twilight zone.’
“Oh, I see your father has control of the stereo.”
“I love this song.” I dance in place.
“Yeah, I do too.” She winks as Frank takes over the air in the room blasting out the music.
My father’s obsessed with Frank Sinatra. When he’s home the room is always filled with his music. My most favorite memories in this house are of Addie and me dancing on my father’s shoes to some amazing song as he held our hands.
Memories can be a bitch when they make you want to cry. But this is a good cry because those were the best times. Before the shit disaster it is now.
“Dear, I’ve made up your room… fresh linens, towels, personal products, clothes. Your mother gave me quite a list and it’s all been displayed according to her wishes. I hope you approve.” Sue offers a kind smile.
“You’re the best, Sue. Thank you so much.” I wrap my arms around her arms hugging her again.
“Now let me see that your mother isn’t pretending to know how to use any of the appliances in the kitchen.” She says sarcastically. “Where’s Frank?” He would never allow her in his kitchen, he’s known better since the last kitchen fire. I laugh at the memory. It was a small fire, just on the stove, but the look on Frank’s face is one I’ll never forget. He had refused to speak to her for an entire month afterward.
“Are you kidding? She told him to take the night off.” Her head shakes with disbelief. “He has no idea what her plans are.” Her teeth clamp tight and her eyes are wide. “I’m taking the day off when he finds out.” She laughs.
“Pizza,” we both say in unison and then follow with a hard laugh.
“I’m going to take a soak in the tub, ok?” I reach for the small bag that I’d carried inside.
She nods. “Sounds like an excellent idea dear.” She exits into the hall.
I take a deep breath and smile. I’m actually kind of happy right now.
I head up the stairs to my room, running my hand along the mahogany railing as I do.
I walk down the long hallway toward my room at the end far right coming to the double doors.
I open the door to my room noting how bright it is. The room filled with the same pink roses that I’d seen downstairs. Once again, the aroma fills the air. This brings me back to another time.
I wonder if my mom put these here to trigger the stubborn memories hiding in my mind. Memories are being triggered, but not of the past year. No, these memories are of my teenage years and those memories I remember just fine.
I sigh. I tossing my bag to the couch on the left wall and throw myself on top of the large fluffy pink blanket that covers the queen size bed. I laugh out loud as I listen to Frank Sinatra through the speakers that are built into the walls of my spacious room.
I sit up and walk toward the wall monitor muting the sound. I see Addie’s picture on the dresser as I walk by, but I can’t look at it right now.
No, right now I want to be happy. I’ve been attempting to leave the broken girl at the hospital. And for now I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it.
I turn my iPod to Jesse Ware Say You Love Me while I’m brushing out my wet hair. I’m singing along to the words and suddenly inner sexy girl pushes me to consider calling Evan.
“Hmmm.” I stand to get my phone from my bag when my head begins its daily pounding episode. I reach for the pain pills instead. I haven’t taken these very often, but I know when it’s going to be a bad migraine and I’m not down for that right now.
I dig for my phone and walk onto the balcony that sit off of my room. The air is cool and very welcoming with this headache. I turn and go back toward my room because, unfortunately, the light’s too much.
Abby: Can you talk?
I don’t want to assume that he doesn’t have something going on in his life.
Evan: Of course.
My phone rings as I sit on the edge of my bed.
I giggle. “Hello.”
“Are you ok?” He’s always so worried about me. It’s really sweet, but I don’t understand it.
“Headache,” I answer knowing he’ll know that I’m dealing with another one.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”
“Comes with the territory. They’re less frequent though. It’s getting better.” I don’t need him to worry. I don’t want anyone to worry.
“Good. Have dinner with me?”
“My parents are planning a welcome home thing,” I answer. I feel the smile curve on my lips and I realize his offer excites me.
“I understand.” He’s silent.
“Did you like the roses?”
What?
“You did that?” I’m completely shocked.
“Yes.”
I stutter.
“I wanted white, but they were sold out so I opted for the next best thing.
“Awe, they’re so beautiful Evan you didn’t have to do that,” I announce holding a smile on my lips as the pink petal touches my nose. “They smell amazing.”
This man has gone above and beyond in everything he’s done for me and I don’t understand why. I couldn’t have been that amazing of a girlfriend to him. I barely even talk to him now.
“Why do you try? I don’t give you anything Evan and yet you never stop. I…” I pause. “I don’t get it.”
“Let’s talk in person. When you’re ready.”
“Ok, when I’m ready.” What am I waiting for?
“Till then,” he breathes.
“Till then.” I bring the phone to my lap and press the red button.
My phone rings and I expect it to be Evan again, but it’s not. “Hello?”
“Abby, how are you?”
Marco.
My heart bounces, but right away I notice it’s not the same as when it’s Evan on the other end.
“Umm, I’m Ok,” I whisper. I don’t know if I want to speak to him, but I feel like I’m supposed to give him a chance. Guilt maybe?
“I’ve miss
ed you so much. I’m in town and would love to see you.”
I stand from the seat I’d taken only seconds ago and re-approach one of the five vases of baby pink roses that Evan had sent. Reaching for one of the stems, again I bring the enormous flour to my nose and smile.
“What do we have to talk about Marco?”
“I love you, Abby. I think we can fix things. Don’t you want that?”
Do I?
I shrug. “Honestly, I haven’t thought much about it.” Again I dip my nose into the amazing smell the flower holds.
“I’m thinking about it every second of the day,” he adds. A pain shoots through my head sending me to the floor. I scream out in pain I hear Marco calling my name and I pick my phone up from the floor next to me. “I need to go.” I hang up. Lying my head on the plush rug that flows beneath me. “This sucks,” I whisper to myself. I close my eyes as the pain takes over. I know this is normal and eventually will subside, but the journey sucks all the same. I wondering why this has all happened. Ok, so I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I think I’m allowed every once in a while.
When I open my eyes, I see the flower lying next to me and notice the stem’s broken. This precious flower that never hurt anyone is broken, just like me. I reach for it pulling it into my chest as I drift into another land.
Chapter Five
Abby
“Abby, can you see me?” a male voice breaks through the darkness.
“No,” is all I can say. I don’t see anyone.
“You’re all I see, Abby,” the voice is a distant whisper.
It’s dark and I’m not sure where I am
“Do you feel me?” He’s closer now.
“No.”
“Do you love me, Abby?” A hand traces over my arm.
How can I answer that question? I don’t even know who he is.
“Abby, you love me?” another male voice makes himself known to the far left. I can’t see anyone, but I know where they are. I feel electricity begin to pull me in.
“You want me, Abby?”
“No, she wants me.”
The male voices step closer. I can feel their heated breath on my skin. “You want this.”
A sizzle breaks onto my skin setting fire to all the right places.
My Demons (The Angel Trilogy #2) Page 3