by Shayla Black
Stone squeezed her hand before he turned the computer screen back in his direction. “I’m doing this to give Jack and the other guys some information. I’m not dredging up the past to upset you.”
“I know.” Lily nodded, trying to hold it together. “I can still see their faces. Killer Mo and Mafia held Erin down while . . .” She fell silent, shaking her head and holding up a hand as if she couldn’t say more.
“It’s okay. You’ve given me some information to work with.” Stone performed a slightly different search, waited for results, hacked back into the LAPD, trolled through its database, then ultimately scrolled through some county and state records. Finally, he found what he needed.
“Killer Mo died at the ripe age of twenty in a drug-related shoot-out about six months after you left LA. Mafia was twenty-two when he went down for twenty-five to life after the rape-murders of a pair of sisters, fourteen and twelve, who lived down the street. Reaper got caught dealing just before he turned eighteen. He was put on probation and his parents moved him to Iowa. Apparently he’s been ‘born again’ since then and is now a youth minister at a local church.”
Lily absorbed that information with a thoughtful nod. “So . . . none of those thugs run around with Canton anymore?”
“No. From what I can tell, he’s distanced himself from everyone who’s got a record so he can look like an upstanding citizen with a slightly checkered past who’s risen above, blah, blah, blah. He’s married now with three fancy cars, two kids, and a partridge in a pear tree.” Her face wasn’t giving away much, and he was dying to know if she was all right. “I’ll send all this information to Jack so he and some of the others can track the surviving dudes down. Do you feel better, knowing they won’t come back for you?”
She shrugged. “They only helped destroy Erin. They didn’t plan or instigate. Canton is still out there.”
“Yeah.” Stone rubbed at the back of his neck. “Since he’s dropped off the grid, we have to find him. Can you think of anything else that would help us? Habits? Places he liked? People he’d reach out to?”
“One of the things that disturbed me most after Erin’s murder was Canton’s dogs. He had these two puppies, and he took them with him everywhere. He was always walking them. I remember Erin screaming and fighting . . . and the dogs scratching at the door of the warehouse to get in. As soon as Erin lay bleeding out and dead, Canton opened the door and the puppies loped in. He bent and petted them, smiling as they licked his face, as if he was the best guy in the world and the dead girl in the corner meant nothing. He probably still has those dogs.”
As she talked, Stone sent a text with the information to Jack, who wrote back quickly that they would query the campgrounds and state parks again looking for a guy with a pair of mutts.
“He also had this habit . . . According to Corey, who used to deal for him, when Canton was nervous or excited, he’d suck on a Tootsie Pop. He liked the grape.” She shrugged. “He was sucking on one when he entered the warehouse that day.”
Lily closed her eyes as if she didn’t want to remember more. She clenched her fists, fighting to hold it together.
Stone threw his arm around her. “It’s a lot to remember, I know. Everything you can recall is helpful. I’m here if you need someone to lean on.”
She clutched him. “Thanks.”
When she broke away, Stone texted the rest of the information she’d given him to Jack. It might not be a lot but every bit helped.
“Oh,” she added. “He has a son by a former girlfriend. Matt, Mike, Mark—something with an ‘M’. The kid’s mom went by the name Sherra. The boy would probably be about eight now. But back in the day, Canton was a devoted daddy. Went out of his way to buy him cool stuff and give him the best of everything. Maybe he still sees the kid?”
“That’s great, baby. We’ll definitely use that information to try to track down this asswipe. If you think of anything else—”
“I’ll let you know.” She stood. “I think I’d like a few minutes on the patio alone. I’m sure the mosquitoes will eat me up but I’m starting to find the swamp surprisingly peaceful. It’s definitely quiet. I can think out here. And no one will find me.”
After she let herself out, Stone cleaned up their simple dinner of hamburger steaks and potatoes, totally secure that she wasn’t going anywhere. She knew the gators and the outside world were too dangerous for her to flee.
Ten minutes later when Lily slipped back in, gnawing her lip, she looked a million miles away. No, she looked as if she were still in that warehouse, reliving the horror of Erin’s death. He wished like hell he could calm and divert her mind. He’d tried to give her an ear . . . If she truly trusted him and wanted him as more than a protector, wouldn’t she be telling him her thoughts, her fears? Hell, right now she wasn’t even looking at him.
As he rinsed off the last of the dishes and set them on the rack to dry, he watched her as she paced the room, arms crossed protectively over her body. When she stared at a spot on the far wall and frowned, hugging herself tighter, Stone had seen enough. Even if Lily couldn’t—or didn’t want to—share her feelings with him, she was too far up in her head, burying her past and worrying about the future.
Talking to the woman only went so far. Time to try something new. Stone suspected he knew how to fix her while working on their trust.
He turned off the faucet and dried his hands, then snagged her when she crossed the room again. “Get ready.”
She blinked, her dark eyes finally focusing on him. “For what?”
“We’re going to the playroom. You have five minutes. Come naked.”
As he turned away to make preparations, she grabbed hold of his arm. “Stone . . . I’m not in a good place tonight.”
“You’re not. We’ll fix that.”
“I can’t focus on sex now.”
If she imagined for one minute that he couldn’t redirect her gloomy thoughts into something more pleasurable, she was sorely underestimating him. “Who said anything about sex?”
She flushed a pretty rosy shade. “Well, if you want me naked in a room designed for sex—”
“A playroom isn’t always about sex.” He sent her a chiding glance. “After working at Dominion, you know that.”
With a nod, she conceded the point. “True. But you—”
“Have no idea what I’m thinking, baby.” He slanted a commanding gaze her way. “Do you?”
“I assumed it was sex,” she murmured, dropping her gaze. “Sorry.”
And there was her pretty, submissive side.
Stone couldn’t call her wrong precisely. He did want sex. With her, he always wanted it. But he was capable of thinking about more . . . mostly.
“Have I given you any reason not to trust me?”
“No,” she admitted, her voice approaching a whisper.
He crooked a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze. “I’m not bringing this up to make you feel guilty. I want to talk about what you’re thinking and feeling. I want you to open up. You don’t have to do anything about Canton tonight. You also don’t have to do anything about him without help. So don’t think about him now. Five minutes.”
With that reminder, he left and headed to the playroom, scooping up some items he might need along the way. At the moment, he wanted to thank Jack and Logan for his last three months of BDSM training because he had ideas running through his head that he couldn’t wait to test.
Stone took a few minutes to prepare the room. As he finished, he glanced at the time on his phone. Lily’s five minutes were up.
Before he could haul out to hunt her down, she appeared in the portal, looking uncertain and sexy as hell. She hadn’t heeded him exactly, but she’d added more kittenish black liner to her eyes, refreshed her siren lipstick, then donned a pair of white thigh-high stockings with lacy bands and a pair of chunky red heels. She wasn�
�t wearing a single stitch anywhere else on her body.
Oh, holy shit. He’d never seen a woman look hotter in his life.
“You’re on time,” Stone forced himself to praise. And even though he didn’t want to chide her, he couldn’t let her choice to rebel pass. “But you didn’t follow instructions. I said naked.”
She opened her mouth to argue, closed it. Then frowned. “You don’t like it?”
“I do but that isn’t the point. You disobeyed, and that comes with consequences.” He narrowed his eyes at her, a litany of all the possible reasons she might have disregarded his instructions flipping through his head. “Did you hope to distract me so we wouldn’t talk about your past or the fact that you’ve been letting it stand in the way of your future? Would you rather give me your pussy than your truth?”
Lily’s face flamed with a guilty flush. “I’ve told you pretty much everything.”
Stone turned those words over in his head. “Except what you’re thinking right now.”
“I’m trying not to think about anything but you.”
“But I know there’s more rolling through your head.” He quirked a brow at her, daring her to deny it. She didn’t. “Either kneel here and face me or leave the room. If you choose the latter, I’ll know you’re not ready to trust me. If you stay, I’ll want to test that you’re serious, and I won’t make it easy.”
“Why?” She looked torn, confused.
“I’ve done everything I know to prove that I’m here for you in every way, yet you keep me on the outside looking in. I need to know if you’re with me.”
Lily’s expression crumpled. She stood frozen for a tense moment before she crossed the room and lowered herself to the mat and knelt. “I only put on the stockings to please you. I never meant to make you feel as if I don’t want to be here or don’t want to be with you. I’m just so used to thinking through my problems alone. I’ve never been that great at sharing how I feel and . . . Yes, I know I’m not the only person here. I’m sorry if I’ve been selfish.”
He softened. “You went through something way harder than I can imagine. You haven’t worked through your trauma because you don’t have any resolution. I’m not implying that you’re selfish. I’m asking you to work with me. Let’s put your life back on track together.”
She bowed her head and drew in a shuddering breath. He could practically feel her thinking. Stone clenched his fist, itching to lend his support by stroking her crown and caressing her jaw. But she had to reach some conclusions alone.
“You want me to testify.” Lily looked as if the idea terrified her. “I understand why. I know I probably don’t have a future unless I do. I get that you want me to talk to you about it. I just . . . For seven years, I’ve tried to do everything myself. I let Axel understand my feelings as long as I didn’t involve him too deeply in my past. That was my burden to bear.” When Stone prepared to launch into his argument, Lily held up a hand to stop him. “I know you want to help. And I’m more touched than you know. But I’d be lying if I said that changing my mind and facing Canton after all these years is simple. I’m still thinking about this. It’s not a quick decision. Can we talk again tomorrow?”
Tomorrow wasn’t good. Tomorrow, Axel might be rolling down the highway to get in the middle of this shit in the name of protecting his former sub. Tomorrow might be too late.
But Stone couldn’t exactly force her to make a decision right now. He could only keep working on their trust and hoping that their future was important to her, too.
“All right. We will be talking at first light. Understood?”
“Yes,” she murmured.
“That gives us hours to play, baby.”
Her gaze snapped up, meeting his. Then a surprising coy feminine power transformed her expression. It was as if knowing that tonight she didn’t have to think about the past anymore flipped a switch inside her. Suddenly Stone understood. She’d become a pro at deferring the tough decisions ahead because she’d been doing it for years.
That would definitely stop tomorrow.
Lily smiled at him and sat back on her heels, thrusting her breasts up. “That’s good to know. Do you see something you want?”
Oh, she wanted to toy with him? Stone couldn’t help a rueful smile at her sensual, playful tone. He enjoyed this side of her. Game on.
He took a step closer and anchored one palm on her head so she had nowhere to look but his zipper and his throbbing cock imprisoned behind it. “Look straight ahead, right at me. What do you think?”
“You’re hard.” She almost sounded proud.
“Damn straight. But you know what, baby? When you look at me, I think you see something you want, too.”
Lily licked her lips nervously, staring at his cock straining against his jeans. “I do.”
To his shock, she leaned forward and nuzzled her cheek against the fold covering his zipper, nudging his bulge. The contact was like an electric bolt firing his blood. It shot straight to his dick. Crap, the woman was driving him out of his mind. He had to take control of the situation.
Fighting for a steadying breath, Stone stepped away. “Stand up.”
“You didn’t like the way I touched you?” She batted her lashes.
“I think you know better,” he pointed out. “And we’ll get back to that, but I have an agenda tonight. I’m going to give you instructions. You’re going to comply without question. If you need clarification, I’ll provide it. Otherwise, I expect immediate obedience.”
As his tone changed, so did her demeanor, and she lowered her gaze. “Yes, Stone.”
Even her voice sounded submissive, and it did something to the man in him.
Since direct confrontation wasn’t loosening her up, Stone had chosen a form of communication Lily was familiar with. According to Thorpe, Axel had used it to make completely different points with her, but she knew this game was serious. Stone intended for her to listen and obey. When she slipped into submissive mode, she didn’t want to disappoint. Right now, Stone would use whatever he could to make her see he was right.
“Good. Before we get started, let’s cover a few reminders. What’s your safe word?”
“Lunar.”
“That’s it. I will push your boundaries. But you’re free to use your safe word if I’m actually hurting you or you feel as if you cannot handle what I’m doing. Make sense?”
“Yes, Stone.”
“Good.” He couldn’t stop himself from caressing the crown of her head, letting her know that he both heard and appreciated her compliance. “Have I ever done anything to actually hurt or endanger you?”
“No, Stone.”
“Will I?” The question came out automatically because he knew the answer: never. But how hurt would she be if she heard about the deal the feds had tried to cut him? Very. She’d feel utterly betrayed. He wished he didn’t have to accept it to have a future with her. But with trust so tenuous between them, if he tried to explain the situation to her right now, every bridge he’d tried to build with her would crumble. He’d tell her soon; he had to. After tonight, when he hoped they’d be stronger.
Then Stone realized Lily was still silent. It only reinforced all his worries about their trust. She’d given him all her other answers quickly, almost as if instinct had provided her replies. This one she thought about a few moments longer. While he understood, waiting for her to weigh her trust nearly ripped his guts out.
“I don’t think so.” She lifted her gaze to him, her lower lip trembling. “I’m just being honest. Remember, I’m slow to trust. This is the fastest I’ve ever just . . . believed in anyone.”
On the surface, it didn’t seem as if she had put much faith in him. But given what she’d been through and what he knew about her habits with Axel, he realized she’d put a lot of trust in him already. He needed to be worthy of it and be patient. She was staying
with him in an unfamiliar place she couldn’t easily escape. She slept in his arms every night, too. Then . . . there was the sex. Thorpe had hinted that Axel hadn’t reached that point with Lily for months. Even more, Stone realized, she’d trusted him with her whole tragic, terrible story. She’d shared shame and danger and helplessness. Even now, she knelt in front of him with big eyes that pleaded with him to understand that she was giving her best.
“I know, baby. Just like I’m trying to be patient. Being a pushy bastard is in my nature, but I’ll keep trying to stifle that side of me and be reasonable.” He caressed her cheek. “To be totally clear, I will never hurt or endanger you. I want you to remember that tonight.”
“A-all right.” She sounded worried but didn’t argue . . . yet.
With a satisfied nod, he pulled out his phone and launched the app to stream radio, choosing a mellow station that played ballads. He wanted her relaxed, calm. What he planned wasn’t romantic but held gravity. Stone needed her to feel it.
“Put your hands in front of you, palms up, shoulder width apart.”
Instantly, she complied, and he couldn’t miss the shudder that went through her. Yeah, she liked complex, adult Simon Says–type games. According to Thorpe, she enjoyed the challenge and played to win.
Stone turned and retrieved a pair of cuffs, then stopped in front of her again. “I’m putting these on your wrists. Don’t flinch. If they’re too tight, say so.”
“Yes, Stone,” she replied in a breathy whisper.
Without hesitation, he buckled the leather cuffs, one around each wrist, and checked to make sure he could still fit a finger—but no more—under the wide strap.
“Turn your palms down.”
Again, she obeyed. The O-rings on top of the cuffs winked in the overhead light. Stone whirled around to the table behind him and reached for a long snap hook.
He closed the little metallic device up in his fist. “Hands behind your back.”
A bare hesitation later and she complied, winding her arms around her and grabbing the fingers of her left hand with her right. “Like this?”