by Jill Shalvis
is he if he’s not ever at your side?”
She shook her head, discombobulated. “In all this time, you’ve never asked about him.” She felt Adam’s gaze heavy on her. “Which means that this is nothing more than your latest distraction technique. But you can’t distract me, Dad. You nearly killed me with worry.”
Her father couldn’t be distracted, either. “What the hell is going on with you, Holly? And don’t say nothing. It’s about Derek, right?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why are you suddenly asking about him?”
“Call it a gut feeling.”
She sighed. “Fine. He’s no longer my husband. Happy?”
“Ecstatic. But what the hell?”
“I left him, Dad. I left him a long time ago.”
“And you didn’t think this was pertinent information?”
“You never asked. You never even talked about me being married. And as far as pertinent, it’s no more pertinent than you and Mom giving lip service to being married when in reality you were separated almost all of my childhood.”
He blinked. “At least we didn’t traumatize you and Grif with fighting, like so many other couples do.”
“You were three thousand miles apart. I don’t think that proves much. Plus, it was all pretend. You both hid all your feelings. The calm front was just a façade.” She crossed her arms and turned away. She wasn’t doing this now. Not in front of Adam, who was watching their bickering session with carefully hooded eyes.
Donald rose and grimaced but then wavered. He paled and put a hand to his heart. Holly’s heart stopped and she rushed over to him.
Adam got there first, pushing Donald back down to the chair with surprising gentleness, hunkering before him, looking into the older man’s face.
“Dad,” Holly said urgently. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
He wasn’t fine. He looked clammy, sweaty. And he was breathing erratically. “Dad—”
“Don’t fuss,” he snapped, and waved her away.
Stung, Holly backed up, then watched in disbelief as Adam reached in and took her dad’s pulse, getting a weak smile out of him in the process.
“The low blood pressure again?” Adam asked quietly.
“Yeah, the fucker.”
Adam rifled through his pack and pulled out a bottle of sports water.
“Not thirsty,” Donald said.
“Drink it. You’re probably dehydrated and the electrolytes will help the hypotension.” He unwrapped a snack bar. “And eat this.”
“Those are disgusting.”
“It’s got salt in it. That will help, too.”
Under Adam’s watchful eye, Donald drank and then ate, and then drank some more.
“Better?” Adam asked.
“Yeah.” Donald sighed and looked slightly sheepish. “I hate this shit.”
“What shit?” Holly asked. “What’s going on?”
Adam never took his eyes off Donald. “You need to tell her. She deserves to know.”
“Deserves to know what?” Holly demanded, her gut tight. “Dad, tell me.”
“I had a little problem a few months back. You were in New York. With your non-husband.”
“I was procuring my divorce,” she said tightly. “What kind of problem?”
He paused. “A heart attack problem.”
Holly gaped at him. “You had a heart attack and didn’t tell me?”
“It was a little one. A very little one. And I’ve completely recovered. It’s just that some of the meds I’m on now to lower my blood pressure have some side effects, that’s all.”
“That’s all?” she repeated, her voice cracking. “You had a heart attack and you didn’t tell me? Did you tell Griffin?”
The guilty look on his face said it all. “Oh my God. You didn’t tell either of us,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Dad. How could you?”
“Because you would have worried. You’d have nagged me about my eating habits, about the too-young girlfriend, about going out on hunting trips alone—”
“You think?” Devastated, she pushed her glasses up and pressed her fingertips to her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. She dropped her hands and tried to make him understand. “Dad, you can’t do this anymore. You can’t take off on your own like this.”
“I’m telling you, I’m healthy as a horse.”
“Except for the heart attack and the low blood pressure.”
He waved that aside. “I’m taking my meds. Exercising. Doing everything I’m supposed to. I’m not going to change, Holly. Not even for you.”
She looked at Adam, who wasn’t giving much away, except for maybe regret. He’d known. She couldn’t stop thinking about that. He’d known about the heart attack, which was undoubtedly why he’d come in the first place.
She drew in a deep breath and shook her head. She’d have to deal with him later; her father’s health was far more important. “How are we going to do this?” she asked him. “Get him back?”
“I’ll get myself back,” Donald said indignantly.
“You’ll be more comfortable in the Ranger,” Adam said.
“And I’ll drive his ATV,” Holly said.
Donald shook his head. “You’re not driving my ATV.”
“And why the hell not?” Holly demanded.
“Because you drive like your grandmother.”
Holly felt her own blood pressure rise, but it didn’t start to boil until she met Adam’s gaze. His dark eyes were warm and filled with humor, the ass. “Deal with it, Dad,” she said. “Because you’re not driving back. Now let’s go.” She didn’t want to risk getting stuck up here for another night. She could handle no running water, not to mention the lack of a toilet or electrical outlet for her hair straightener. What she couldn’t handle was another night with Adam—and now also her father—both of whom she was afraid she loved dearly in spite of their many, many faults. “Dad, tell me the truth—are you really okay, or should we call for help to get you out?”
Her dad laughed. “You’ve got the best S&R guy right here. I think he can handle me.”
“You can handle you,” Adam told him. “Hell, you can probably still outdo me.”
Her dad smiled, pleased at that. But Holly met his gaze and saw the truth. That he was aware that he was getting older, that he’d had a health scare, and it had done just that—scared him. But he wasn’t the sort of man to go out without a last fight. He always said he’d never be the sort of man to lie down and let old age catch him. “Okay,” she said softly. “Let’s go. But do me a favor and take it easy on your S&R guy. He’d just gotten back from a rescue when I dragged him out here. He’s injured and probably exhausted.”
Donald flicked a glance at Adam.
Adam shook his head. “I’m fine.”
“Hear that?” Donald asked Holly. “He’s fine.”
Men. “He’s got a bunch of stitches in his shoulder.”
“That’s nothing,” Donald said.
Holly just stared at him, and her dad patted her leg. “Honey, after the things he’s seen and done, these past few days have probably been a picnic in the park. Isn’t that right, boy?”
Adam’s mouth quirked slightly, as if the thought of being a boy was amusing to him. And hell, it probably was. Even when he’d been young, he’d never really had the luxury of being a child. As long as Holly had known him, he’d always had that air of tough readiness. But surely he wanted to get back as badly as she did. Even badasses needed rest.
Adam repacked his gear to add some of Donald’s load to his, and then they left. Holly started down the trail ahead of them. Adam watched her go for a minute, then slid his gaze to Donald. Who was eyeballing him blandly. Like a rattler at rest. Or the father of a beautiful woman…
Yeah. There was nothing more dick shriveling than lusting after a woman and being caught at it by her father. No matter if the father was a man who’d been there for him more than once.
> Saying nothing, Donald began walking, keeping the pace slow. Adam accommodated him, thinking maybe the guy was feeling more weak than he’d let on.
“What’s up between you two?” Donald asked bluntly, not sounding old or particularly weak at all.
Adam thought about pleading the Fifth and not answering, but he respected Donald too much for that bullshit. “None of your business.”
Donald stared at him for a long beat, then let out a bark of laughter that had Holly turning around to look back at them. She narrowed her gaze on them both, but then faced forward again, continuing on at the same pace.
Donald shook his head at Adam and kept walking. “You’re not her type.”
This was undoubtedly true, but for a little while last night he’d felt a whole hell of a lot like her type.
“She likes them older, sophisticated,” Donald said. “The cerebral type. I told you this years ago. You don’t listen.”
Once again, Adam’s gaze locked on Holly walking ahead. She had her ear buds in, iPod in hand, clearly over the both of them. “I listened,” he said. He just hadn’t necessarily agreed.
“Yeah, after you got yourself in trouble,” Donald said. “If it hadn’t been for that, I’d never have been able to talk you into getting the hell out of Dodge and into the military—where I knew you’d learn what you needed to learn.”
“You mean how to be a functioning member of society instead of a drain on the system behind bars?” Adam asked.
“Well…” Donald rubbed his jaw ruefully. “Yes.”
Fair enough. Adam had definitely been on a one-way track to the wrong side of the law. “It worked.”
Again, Holly whipped around, eyes narrowed right in on Adam.
The minx hadn’t been listening to music at all. She’d been far too busy eavesdropping. She glared at him and then stared at her father. “You talked him into going into the military?”
Adam grimaced. “Listen, we’re going to lose daylight if we don’t keep moving—”
Holly lifted a hand in the direction of his face, the universal sign for him to Shut it.
Adam shoved his hands in his pockets. This wasn’t going to go well. For any of them.
Holly stalked back toward them. “What do you mean, you talked him into going into the military?” she demanded of her dad.
Well, shit.
“You remember the trouble the boy got himself into there at the end,” Donald said.
“Yes,” Holly said. “He was always in trouble. That was nothing new.”
“Not like that last time,” Donald said. “He could have ended up in jail.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Because it was suggested that if he went into the military, it would be a better course of action.”
“Suggested by you,” Holly said, clarifying.
“Yes,” Donald said.
Holly turned to Adam, emotion blazing from her eyes. He could have dealt with that—except for the hurt. Christ, so much hurt.
“So you didn’t have to go into the military,” she said. “The judge didn’t make you. You chose to leave.” Not a question but a statement.
It hadn’t been the biggest lie he’d ever told her but definitely the harshest. “Yes,” he said quietly. “I chose to leave.”
She blinked once, then looked at her father again. “And you had a hand in it. It was your idea. You talked him into going into the military, which could have cost him his life.”
“At the time I thought it was best.”
Holly lifted a hand and rubbed it to her chest as if it ached. “You took him from me.”
Donald’s gaze never left her face. “Well, to be fair, I didn’t know there was a you and him. If I’d known, I’d have sent him a lot farther. Like to fucking Mars.”
Adam gave a wry smile. It was true. Donald was notoriously protective of his only daughter. When she’d run off to New York and gotten married at nineteen, it had nearly killed him. If Donald had been aware back then that Adam had taken his precious daughter and shown her a walk on the wild side—for an entire summer, in fact—it was questionable as to whether or not Adam would still be breathing.
But Holly wasn’t amused. Not in the slightest. She turned on her heel and kept walking. For about three seconds. Then she whirled back and blasted her father with another look. “I can’t believe you interfered with my life that way.”
“I believe it was the boy’s life I interfered with,” Donald said mildly.
Holly ignored this and faced Adam. “And you.”
Yeah, him. The crux of her problem. Hell, let’s face it, he was the crux of a lot of problems.
“You protected him all these years,” she said, pointing at her dad, “by not telling me that it was his idea. Why?”
Fair enough question. “Because it was the right thing to do.”
“You let me think the judge said you had to go.”
“Because I didn’t want you to think you could talk me out of it. I needed a clean break.”
“From me.”
“From everything,” he said. “Going was the right thing to do. I wasn’t about to let your dad take any blame or have you decide to waste your life waiting on me. I went because I needed to go, Holly.”
She stared at him for a long beat, then tossed up her hands and stalked off, muttering something about stupid, stubborn, idiot, Neanderthal alphas who were too stupid, stubborn, and idiotic to know a damn thing about life.
Sixteen
Holly drove her dad’s ATV back to Sunshine, and she felt quite badass while she was doing it, too. It was hard to maintain a good mad while enjoying the hell out of herself, but she managed. For a while, anyway.
Her dad rode with Adam and all three dogs. They stopped at regular intervals, which she knew was for her sake. But she didn’t need the extra care. She could take care of herself. Especially since the snow had stopped and the fire road was manageable.
By the time they got off the mountain, she wasn’t mad at either man. Much. She really did understand why Adam had left for the military all those years ago. She also understood why her dad had encouraged him to. Adam had been right, he needed to go. It had changed his life, set him on a different path, one that worked for him.
She couldn’t resent that, not even a little bit.
No, what she resented was the fact that neither of them had trusted her to be grown-up enough to handle the situation.
Because you hadn’t been…
During one of their stops, she called Red and e-mailed Grif about finding their wayward father. The heart attack news would have to wait until she could tell him face-to-face, online. She also contacted Kel and Kate, just to fill them in. Kate responded with an immediate text.
You get lucky up there with your tracker?
Holly’s return text was simple and to the point.
You need your hormone levels checked.
Back in Sunshine, Adam got out of his Ranger to walk her father inside the big old ranch house. Holly moved to her dad’s other side and got a gruff “What did I tell you about hovering, girl?”
Holly clenched her teeth and backed off. Inside, the two men holed up in Donald’s office for a few minutes, where apparently no vaginas were invited. She was reduced to pressing her ear to the door to eavesdrop but could hear nothing.
Were they even breathing in there?