by Vicki Green
“Crash cart!”
A doctor and three nurses rush in pushing a cart. One nurse runs over and takes over for me, and I quickly move out of the way. I’ve seen this happen too many times and say a prayer. Since I’m no longer needed, I leave the room and walk to the nurse’s station and look at the dry erase board chart hanging on the wall over a couple of desks. I’ve been assigned a few rooms already so I leave to start making rounds, learning later that the nurse I’d walked in on was Jackie Spears.
The four-hour shift flew by, and I found that I enjoyed it. It kept my mind off of Dad, for a short while, but I’m exhausted by the time I head home. I’d taken Dad’s phone and charger to him this morning, so I called him to see if he needed anything. He was surprisingly chipper and told me he was fine, just sitting in bed watching a golf game on TV. I smile all the way home. I turn on my street and notice Dax’s truck parked on the street down from my house, making my smile spread more. I raise the garage door and pull inside, eager to walk into his arms. I long to touch him, have his strong arms around me. The aroma about knocks me over as I walk inside. There’s nothing sexier than seeing a strong man cooking. Quietly, I walk up, setting my purse down on the table, and slide my arms around his waist, feeling his muscles constrict as I place my hands on his abs, feeling his warmth. I lay my head on his back, taking in a deep breath, smelling his musky-man smell. They should really bottle that shit. I feel his hands cover mine. His skin is warm and soft. He starts to turn around.
“About time you got home. How’s your dad…” He stops and scans my scrubs covered body. I watch as he clenches his fists, how his eyes look as if they could shoot daggers at me. “You told me you weren’t going to work,” he growls. I step back until I hit a chair with my legs.
“No I didn’t,” I whisper. I don’t know why I’m so afraid. I didn’t tell him I wouldn’t work. He looks absolutely livid. His arms are shaking, and his brows are lowered.
I sit down quickly when he steps over to me in two long strides. Cupping my face with his hands he seems as though he’s trying to calm down but not being very successful. “What can I say to you so you’ll understand that you’ll be in danger there?” His eyes search mine. “I’m sorry that I put you in this situation, but I can’t stress enough that you shouldn’t work. Not right now.”
My anger swells. “Why don’t you tell me why I’d be in danger, Dax? Why can’t you be upfront with me? Is that asking so much?”
It’s like we’re in a standoff but I’m sitting. Finally, he releases my face and turns around, pulling at his hair. He turns to me and raises his hands in the air. “I can’t!” Dropping his arms down by his sides, he seems to deflate. Walking to me, he squats down so we’re eye to eye. “I wish I could. I really do. But that’s why I need you to trust me on this. I’m only trying to protect you.”
That sets off alarms and all kinds of anger soaring through me. I push him out of my way and stand, turning to him. “Who the fuck are you? It seems like I wouldn’t need protecting if you weren’t around me!” Now, I’m raising my arms up in the air in exasperation and frustration. He stands, his eyes wide. “You want me to trust you? I don’t even know you! You won’t tell me anything! UGH!”
He’s in front of me quickly, his arms wrapping around me, holding me tight. “I know. I know,” he murmurs as his hand holds the back of my head, smoothing down my hair. “I’m so sorry I put you in danger. You’re right, it is all my fault. But if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I wouldn’t be able to live.”
I can’t stop myself from putting my arms around his slim waist, my hands sliding up his back. He presses the side of his face against mine, caressing my skin with his. “Why are you here, Dax?” I whisper. “Why me?”
He pulls back but a breath away and kills me emotionally with the way he’s looking at me. Sad. Despaired. Then a sad smile appears at the corner of his mouth. “You were a vision, a dream. I had to find you but I knew once I did, I couldn’t ever let you go.” His words confuse me even more. “I know I’m being selfish by putting you in danger. I didn’t want to but I couldn’t find it in my heart to stay away from you.” I swallow hard, never having a man who wanted me this badly. “When I found out about your dad, I knew I had to help in any way possible, had to help you through this time. Don’t you see? You’re my angel. How could I not help you after you helped me?” What? What does he mean? How and when did I help him? He can see the uncertainty written on my face. He tilts his head, his gaze becoming intense but sweet at the same time. “I know I sound crazy. But just know this. I’m deeply, irrevocably, madly in love with you.” I blink several times, trying to absorb what he’s saying. “This business? I’m hoping it will be done soon and then I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
“Everything?” I whisper, my voice raspy.
“Everything and anything you want to know. I won’t have any reason not to and I swear, I’ll never keep anything from you again.”
“Promise?”
He grabs me and holds me so close I can’t breathe. “I cross my heart and hope to die.” He leans down and kisses my cheek. “I swear with my life, I’ll never lie to you, ever.” He kisses me again on my cheek, my jaw, and the corner of my mouth. “I know I’m asking a lot but please, just trust me.”
I pull back and look up at him, his face full of sincerity. “Okay, but I need to work, Dax. It helped me keep my mind off Dad and I love what I do. Please understand that I’m not doing it to hurt you. I need to do this.” I search his eyes and can tell he’s thinking.
He finally lets out a sigh and a worried look crosses over his face. “Just do me a favor.” I nod, eagerly. “Just be careful. Do you have a gun?” What? “Never mind. Just make sure you’re aware of your surroundings at all times, especially in the parking lot, coming and going. I’ll do whatever I can to protect you.” I nod, knowing he’s trying to help, even though he’s the one who put me in this situation. At that opportune moment, my stomach decides to growl. Loudly. He lets out his sexy chuckle, turns around, keeping an arm over my shoulders. “Let’s get you fed.”
He walks me over to a chair, and I sit down as he gets our dinner. This has been the weirdest day. Up one minute and strange the next. I watch him flitter around my kitchen as his words come back to me. “I’m deeply, irrevocably, madly in love with you.” My heart soars, and my entire body softens. I have feelings for him, deep emotions that I can’t explain. I feel different around him. He makes me stronger, a fighter, something I thought I’d lost in myself when I got here. But as always, confusion sets in when I remember what he said. I’m his angel? I helped him? When? It would help so much if I understood what the hell he was talking about. There it was again. He spoke as if he knew me. I scrunch up my face, trying to remember a time I could have known him, helped him. Nope. Shaking my head. I can’t think of anything. I look at his face, his bright smile lighting it up, as he walks over carrying two plates, setting one down in front of me. That face. Those eyes. That body. How in the hell could I ever forget him? Does he sound crazy? Pretty much but I’ll be damned if I can stay away from him. I sigh internally but put on a smile.
I think I’m falling in love with you too
17
Fuck! I could have royally screwed up. I told her I loved her, and that she was in a vision of mine – my angel. She had to think I was crazy. But I am. Crazy in love. She is so much more than I ever dreamed. I need to get my business done. It’s gone on way too long. This needs to be finished so I can be with Saige, really be with her, completely. There will be no more fear, no more danger, only love, laughter, and making our own memories.
Last night we finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen together – almost like a normal couple. But we’re anything but normal. Afterwards, she actually took my hand and led me to her bedroom. I watched as she removed her clothes. Sexy. Beautiful. She took my breath away, and I feared I’d never get it back, until she walked to me and pressed her mouth to mi
ne. I took her air. Took everything she had to give. Our kissing became heated, full of desire. I ached to be inside her, touch every inch of her skin, but I let her take the lead. She undressed me, slowly, keeping her eyes locked on mine. It was the most sensual thing anyone’s ever done. Once she’d removed my belt, pulling it slowly from the loops of my jeans, she unbuttoned them and pulled down the zipper. I felt I might grab her, push her to the bed, and ravage her. I kept control. No, that’s not true. She had all the control. I tore my eyes from hers long enough to watch her hands push my jeans down, my boxers with them. She knelt on the floor, continuing until they were at my feet. My hardened cock sprung free, jetting out straight at her, waiting for a stroke, a touch. It was aching so badly I thought I might go crazy, my balls so heavy with need for attention. She didn’t disappoint.
My heart about beat right out of my chest as she took my length in her hand. The moment she touched me I almost lost it. I struggled to keep my eyes open, wanting to watch her. Her hand didn’t quite fit around the girth but she stroked down, then up, rubbing her thumb across my already wet tip. I gritted my teeth with every stroke, every caress of my balls. Then she surprised me further by putting her mouth around me, licking, sucking, and took me clear to the back of her throat. I let out a guttural moan, feeling it rumble up my chest and throat. I couldn’t stop myself from putting my hands on her head, running my fingers through her soft hair. I might have tugged a little from all the sensations she was giving me. I’m not worthy. Don’t deserve the gift she’s giving me but I’ll be damned if I have the strength to stop her. Her head bobbed, her tongue and teeth almost shattered me. I wanted to cum inside her but my orgasm hit so fast and so hard that it overtook any sense I had left. She took all of me, drank everything I gave her. She’s every man’s dream but she’s mine. “Mia per sempre.”
When I got my strength back, I leaned down and lifted her up, immediately kissing her, tasting a bit of myself as our tongues tangle. I continued as I carried her into her bathroom, fumbled with the shower knobs until the water was just right. I washed her, paid homage to her gorgeous body, then made love to her against the tiled wall. I gave her what she gave me and more. She already had my heart. I gave her my undying gratitude. I gave her my soul.
I dreaded leaving her in the morning before the sun had even decided to rise. I needed to get on the road. I loved having her in my arms, her softness pressed against my body, her leg thrown over mine, and the warmth of her arm over my stomach. I left her a note, something I love to do. Short. Sweet. But this time, a little more of me. As I climb out of bed and get dressed, I lean over her sleeping form and kiss her cheek with promises of returning as soon as I can. She lets out a soft sigh, contentment on her face. I want to see that every day, wake up with her in my arms, rid her of all her worries, and take care of her. I want her to have the best life possible.
As I drive off her street there’s a flash in my mind of her standing in front of me, her belly swollen with my child. I can’t stop my smile from forming. Someday.
This trip is much the same as so many others. Filled with frustration of getting a lead only to come to a dead end once again. Stress and anxiety swarm me as I walk into the dark alleyway. I’d been at it all day and I’m more than tired. This guy is slippery, always beyond my grasp. Two years I’ve chased him. Two long years he keeps getting away. His friends almost killed me, took me away from the one true purpose in my life. Saige. Now more than ever, I must find the bastard and end this.
It becomes more difficult to see as I walk slowly down the large alley, filled with trash and debris, my gun drawn and ready. I got wind of him running down this street and couldn’t stop my racing heart with the thought that this could finally be over. He’s toying with me, playing another hand in this deadly game. What he doesn’t realize yet, is his time is almost over.
The sounds of a snapping noise up ahead causes me to stop. I squint in the darkness, my adrenaline flowing freely, causing anxiousness to build quickly. I begin to walk slowly once again, keeping alert and ready. A fist connects with my face. Something metallic scrapes across my cheek and my head bounces to the left. Keeping my gun aimed, I reach up and feel wetness. A breeze blows past me and I turn, ready to fire. As a body starts to move past me, I clench my free hand into a fist and strike, hitting my target in the back of the head, hard. A groan sounds but he keeps moving. Dammit! The alley is larger than I’d thought, too much room to pin him easily. But I prefer it over the dankness of the sewers we were in two years ago. I wish I had a silencer on my gun so I don’t alert anyone to what’s about to happen. I must choose my moment carefully, make it count.
I creep down the alley. The sky decides to open and rain begins to pelt me, making my vision even more difficult. The timing sucks. A sharp pain drives into my leg, and I buckle to the ground. I look down as the rain pours on me, finding a knife deep in my thigh. Son of a bitch! Laughter rains around me, my gun trained on him as he flees past me and out of the alley. I groan as I grasp the handle of the knife and pull it out, in one fluid movement. I sit down on my butt, the pain becoming overwhelming as blood gushes between my fingers on my leg. Dots form across my vision as I try to discern if I can make it out of the alley and to my car parked a few streets from here. Trying to stand, I push against the rough concrete ground. Pain sears through my leg down to my toes. No fucking way. Knowing the asshole escaped me again, I look around in the downfall and see a trash container, no doubt for the restaurant next door to the alley. I grab some shredded rags from the ground and wipe off the gun then use it to hold onto the butt, take a deep breath and throw it, barely making the can. Digging out my phone, my other hand still pressing against the wound, I do the next thing that I dread. I call 911. I know full well where they’ll take me. I lay down in the muck and dirt and say a silent prayer that Saige isn’t there. This isn’t the way it should have gone down. It should have ended tonight. I’m oblivious to the time as I close my eyes, feeling the pain starting to take me under.
She appears as if she knows. Adorned in the skin tight black dress she wore the first time I ever actually got to touch her, she walks to me, folding in my arms. I press my nose against the soft flesh of her cheek, inhaling her sweet smell. Her arm moves around me, her hand against the back of my head. I put my arms around her luscious body. Her free hand pulls my white crisp shirt back, exposing my chest.
“I’m here. I’ve got you,” she whispers.
I feel safe in her arms. I’m home.
She turns her head, in surprise, but I don’t want to move. Don’t want to lose the feel of her.
I’m jostled. I’m moving. Don’t leave me! Not now when I need you to survive! I’m nothing without you. I won’t exist. I need your air to breathe. I need your touch to live. Please! Don’t go!
18
One entire day without him. One long day and an even longer, excruciating night. The note I’d found from him this morning was to eat, as usual, and an unmistakably sweet p.s. with the words “I miss you already and can’t wait for you to be in my arms”. I’d called Jackie this morning while visiting Dad, having missed Dax at the nursing home, and asked if I could work tonight and a few extra hours. I knew it would be hard to get through the night without Dax. I’d gotten so used to being in his arms while I slept. It’s the only good night’s sleep I’ve been able to get. Of course, if there were any extracurricular activities before hand, my night’s sleep was even better. Alas, I don’t think I can ever get enough of him. When done, I’m sated, but then it’s too short when I want him inside me again. I’ve never had this overwhelming need for someone, and I’m trying not to be too dependent. I know life is short and can be taken away in the blink of an eye. No warning. No advance notice. Gone.
It’s now four o’clock in the morning. I figured I’d work until five-thirty, hoping to catch Dax at the nursing home as he does Dad’s physical therapy. To say I’ve missed him is clearly an understatement. I can visit with Dad and maybe with any luck, Dax and
I can visit that small storage room. God, I want him so badly.
“Heads up! New patient, fresh out of surgery. Lost a ton of blood. Vitals are stable now but shaky. From what I hear he’s hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July. You’re up!” Darby yells.
Her words cause a flash in my mind, of another time, another place.
Alex’s voice fills my head. “He’s hot.”
That was over two years ago. My mind clouds, no memories of what happened after that.
I nod at Darby and let out a laugh. She’s becoming such a good friend. Her bubbly personality and no lack of energy remind me of Brooke. She was right when she said she knows everything that goes on around here and everyone’s business. She was also right that she doesn’t tell anything no one wants her to. It’s mostly gossip that she shares, and I devour it so I don’t go crazy with boredom with the things happening in my own life. Most of it is hearsay. Some of it is true. She’s funny as hell and I love her distractions.
I give her a smile as I walk down the hall, stopping at room four twenty-five. My mind is on Dax and in just an hour and a half I’ll get to see his gorgeous face and breathtaking smile. My heart does a little skip in anticipation as I open the door and walk in. I head straight to the foot of the bed. All the normal beeps and swooshing sounds actually comfort me as I pick up their electronic chart.