by Vicki Green
“Of course I’ll stay with her. I haven’t gotten to spend any time with her today.” She bounces up and down on her toes, smiling at me. I hesitate, unsure about leaving her. “Dax.” She smiles, putting her hand on my arm. “I’ll stick my head out the door and holler if I even think she might be waking up. I promise.” Letting out a sigh, I nod and follow Peter to the waiting room, against my better judgement.
He sits in the closest chair but I stand before him, folding my arms over my chest. “Dax. Her condition isn’t improving as I’d hoped.” This does not sound at all encouraging. He stands, a concerned look covering his face. “I just want you to be prepared for the worst. That way it won’t hit you so hard and if she improves it will only make it that much better.”
I shake my head. “Look, Peter. I get what you’re saying and I appreciate everything you’ve done but I won’t ever give up on her. There’s no way in hell I’ll resign myself into believing she won’t improve. She’s a fucking fighter.” He nods, though sadly. “I need to get back to her.” Turning, I don’t wait for any more words meant to be realistic or comforting and walk quickly back to her room.
That night or hell maybe its early morning as time hasn’t had much meaning lately, I sit in the ratty old recliner beside her bed, holding her hand, much as I have since we’ve been here. I look at her sweet face, battered and bruised, and think about how extensive her wound is. Guilt and remorse consume me and the thought she might leave me…. I just can’t….
“All I wanted was to find you,” I whisper, rubbing my finger over her hand. “Actually touch the vision that had appeared before me so long ago. At that moment, you had already filled my heart and consumed my soul.” I sniff, choking back my tears that threaten to fall. “I never meant for this to happen, to put you in danger. It was the last thing I ever wanted.” I lean my forehead against her hand, tears streaming down my face as I sob. “I love you. So much. Please, please don’t leave me. I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve put you through. If you leave me, I won’t be able to go on.” Sobs rack my body. I’ve never cried this hard in my life, never feeling this overwhelming sense of loss before I’ve even lost her. Just the thought cripples me. I continue to cry, letting my emotions and exhaustion take over. I can’t do it anymore, hold back everything that’s been haunting me for the last two days, the fear, the agony.
I stop suddenly when I feel fingers running through my hair. I raise my head only slightly and look up and into the brown eye looking down at me.
“It’s you,” she whispers.
Her eye closes slowly, her hand moving down and onto her stomach. I immediately push the nurse’s button on the railing. “Hi, Dax. This is Darby. Everything okay?”
“Get Peter in here quick!”
“Right away”
I stand, lean in and kiss her forehead, cup the side of her beautiful face, and move back so I can see her. “Saige,” I whisper. Her eye opens slowly and the corner of her mouth lifts, slightly. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
After that, I’m out in the hallway pacing, again. Peter came in and asked me to step out so he could examine her. I’m happy and angry at the same time. I didn’t want to leave her but he told me he wouldn’t be long and I’d be close, so I relented. This time. I stop suddenly when he walks out of the room. “Well?” I ask anxiously.
He smiles. “I won’t say that she’s out of critical condition and has a lot of healing to do but it’s a great sign that she’s awake and talking. Her vitals are a little better but there’s still a long road ahead of her.”
My smile cannot be any bigger as I pat his arm and go back inside. Saige looks up at me as I quickly walk to her bed. Sitting down, I immediately reach for her hand and pick it up. “Hello, beautiful.” She smiles and then grows serious.
“You were there,” she whispers, so low I barely heard.
I begin stroking her hand, my brows furrowing. “Yes, I was there. Fuck, I’m so sorry I got you into that situation, baby. It was wrong of me to think he wouldn’t come after you, use you to get to me.”
Her head shakes slightly. “No. I mean – in my dream. It was you.”
It could be her concussion because she’s not making sense. “What dream?” I ask softly, giving her a smile.
Her brows lower in confusion. “You came to me. After I was hurt.” I swallow hard, similar memories flashing through my mind as she speaks. “You called to me, took my hand.” A tear escapes her eye, traveling slowly down her cheek. “You didn’t want me to go.” I squeeze her hand, lifting it to kiss her sweet skin. “I didn’t want to leave you.” I smile, the best words I could ever hear and so much like the vision I had of her so long ago. It’s uncanny.
“I’m so glad you didn’t,” I whisper.
The rest of the night, we talked, she slept, and we talked more. I wish I could hold her in my arms, aching to be closer, but for now I’ll settle for talking and a little kissing. By late evening she went to sleep, and I watched her for hours, making sure this wasn’t another of life’s cruel jokes, that she’d take a turn for the worse. Finally, as the crack of dawn made its appearance, leaning back into the recliner, I allowed my eyes to close and dream of our future.
Epilogue
Every day, Saige gets better and stronger, but she still needs more time to heal completely. It’s been two months since that horrible time, one that still guilts me, but thankful she’s alive. Two weeks it took for her to be able to come home, and I wasted no time moving in, letting go of not only my apartment but my old life of being undercover. I did what I needed to do, and I won’t take any more chances or put Saige’s life at risk. Vengeance was mine and it almost cost me her life. For two months, I’ve taken care of her, going to my job doing physical therapy at the nursing home, but with shorter hours. Saige took a medical leave of absence from the hospital but is already antsy to return, telling me she’s bored. Can’t say I don’t blame her. But before she’s released to do that, we’re taking a trip. Home. My home growing up. Time for Mom and Little Bit to meet the love of my life. Saige? She’s nervous as hell. So fucking adorable.
“I can’t believe we grew up only two and a half hours away from each other. We could have run into each other and not even know it,” she says smiling at me from the passenger seat.
I laugh and take her hand. “Yeah and I used to come to your neck of the woods all the time. But there’s no way I wouldn’t remember you.” She smiles, almost shyly, and squeezes my hand.
As I turn onto my street, I grow anxious while Saige starts fidgeting. Her nervousness is cute. I’m excited as I haven’t been home in over two years. Looking around the neighborhood, memories begin to flood my mind. Playing kickball in the street, baseball in the open field behind the Anson’s house, which has long since become another residential street, kissing Emily Parker on the side of her house after school one day. The memories are endless. I pull into the driveway of our modest two story house, noticing nothing has changed from the outside. Shutting off the engine, I open my door and turn my head to smile at Saige, but she’s staring at the house, unmoving.
“What if they don’t like me?” she whispers, her hands folded in her lap.
Leaning over, I place my hand over hers and smile, kissing the side of her head. “Stop worrying. I love you and I know they will too.”
We both look up when the front door opens. Little Bit comes barreling down the front steps and straight towards us, smiling so big my heart starts pounding. Quickly, I open my door and jump out, meeting her halfway.
“Oh, my God! You’re here! You’re actually here!” she screams in deafening proportions.
Lifting her up, I swing her around as she peppers my face with kisses. I laugh, missing her so much it’s been killing me. She leans back and cups my face. “Is it over? Is it truly over? You’re not going undercover anymore?” I nod, smiling until my cheeks hurt. She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck, in a death grip.
Mia was eight when we lost Dad a
nd I began my vengeance for him, going undercover to find the asshole who put him in an early grave. I noticed immediately that at almost eleven now, she’s turned into quite the pretty young lady. All I have to say is that any boy who takes an interest in her better be careful. I’d have no problem kicking some ass if anyone hurts her in any way. She looks over at my car, still holding onto me like she thinks I might disappear. “Is that her?” I begin to let her down but her arms won’t relinquish. Finally, I grasp her hands and pull them apart, setting her down on the pavement. Walking over to the car, I open Saige’s door, take her hand and pull her up. She gives me a nervous smile but we walk together over to Little Bit.
“Little Bit – I mean, Mia, this is Saige.” I look over at Saige and smile. “The love of my life.” Saige looks down briefly in shyness, then smiles looking at Mia.
Instead of reaching out to shake her hand or just saying the standard “Hello”, Mia steps over to Saige and envelopes her in a hug, surprising not only me but Saige. Now, Little Bit’s never been shy but she’s also never taken to strangers so readily especially after Dad was killed and I left seeking retribution. She’d kinda folded into herself and then I hadn’t been around to be the man of the house, helping her with her grief, and only putting more fear and worry into her young life. That guilt still eats at me. When it appears as if she won’t relinquish her hold on Saige, I step in, letting out a chuckle.
“Okay, Little Bit. Time to let go of Saige so we can go inside.” I pat her back, my heart opening wide with love for her. “Mom’s probably going stir crazy. I’m sure she’s heard us by now.”
“Nice to meet you, Mia,” Saige says as I put my arm around her and we begin to walk towards the front door.
“Yeah, Mom’s already been freaking out this morning,” Mia responds laughing.
It’s so good to see her happy and has been entirely too long since I’ve been home.
When we walk inside, memories of my younger years overtake me and the heavenly smell of bacon infiltrates my senses. Hearing the all too familiar sounds of busyness in the kitchen causes my anxiousness to grow. Tightening my hold around Saige, I smile down at her, as I lead her down the small entryway and into the kitchen. Mom looks up from her hunched position, closing the oven door with a loud bang and running over to me. I let go of my hold on Saige and open my arms only Mom runs right to Saige, putting her arms around her. Saige’s eyes widen then she visibly relaxes in Mom’s embrace, putting her arms around her.
“Saige. It’s so good to finally have you in our home. God knows, things never cease to amaze me. Dax has never ever brought a girl home before and I couldn’t be more happy and excited.”
“Uh, Mom. Saige is hardly a girl. She’s….”
She lets go of Saige with one hand and waves me off, nearly hitting me as she smiles at Saige. “Girl. Woman. Whatever. Come. Sit down and I’ll dish you up some food. You must be starving after the drive.” Keeping one arm tightly around Saige, she leads her to the table. Saige looks at me over her shoulder and I give her a wink.
“Uh – I’m kinda hungry too. I’m the one that drove you know,” I say as I walk over and sit down across from Saige.
Mom scurries around the kitchen bringing a feast to the table. “I know. But it’s your home so I know you’ll just dive in,” she says during one of her runs with food, ruffling my hair with her hand in her wake. Suddenly she stops, halfway to the counter for more food and turns to face me. The look on her face is sad, tears welled in her eyes. Quickly she walks back to me, leaning down and hugs me hard. “My son,” she whispers, the wetness of her tears falling on my skin. “I’ve missed you more than you could ever know. I’m so glad you’re here and have returned to me safely.” I look at Saige, over Mom’s shoulder. Her eyes are also tear filled and a look of awe on her face.
I hug Mom back, patting her back. “Yes. I’m home and I’m starving,” I laugh.
She walks over to get more food and what I knew would happen begins.
“That’s because you’re a growing boy. Uh – man. Ah, hell. You’ll always be my boy.” I look at Saige smiling at me and wink. “So much like your dad.” She stops, holding two bowls heaped with food. “God rest his soul.” She continues to the table and sits down in between me and Saige. “Then, you had to go out and hunt down your fathers killers.” Saige’s eyes widen, her lips part. “I’ll never understand why you felt you had to do that but I’m sure your father is so very proud of you.” Dammit, now I have tears in my eyes. “I was so worried. Two years. Over two years of worrying, not knowing if you were dead or alive, and not knowing if the day would come that I’d get a call telling me that my son had been killed.” Saige tilts her head in confusion. Mom looks at her and smiles. “It’s a blessing to have a child but to lose one before you die, well, that’s one of the worst fears for any parent.” Mom turns to me and puts her hand on mine. “Thank the Lord you came home.” She sits there and stares at me, a well of tears in her eyes. Finally, she shakes her head, causing those tears to drop. “Enough of that. Let’s eat. We have so much catching up to do.” I look at Saige and mouth “I’ll fill you in later” and that seems to pacify her. For now.
So, catching up is what we do. For the rest of the day and into the evening, we stroll down memory lane. From birth to college to going undercover to not being seen for two years. There was laughter, awe’s, crying, smacking, and playful punches. It was – perfect.
By the time we have dinner and memories that continue afterwards, I notice Saige trying not to yawn. It’s been a long day for her and she needs to rest. Two months isn’t enough time to heal completely after almost losing your life. Trust me, I know. The girls are laughing when I stand and walk to Saige, holding out my hand. She looks up at me and places hers in mine.
“We need to go. Saige needs rest,” I say adamantly, helping her up.
She smiles at everyone and then at me. “I’m not an invalid, Dax.”
I smile back. “I know this.”
Mom and Little Bit stand and start following us to the front door. “Wait!” Mom shouts. “I thought you’d be staying here in your old room.” We turn as she runs over to us, her face full of fear. I’m leaving her again. I’m such an idiot.
Smiling, I release Saige’s hand and grasp Mom’s arms, tenderly. “Ma. We’re gonna stay at the Hilton, only five minutes from here. It’s not that we don’t want to stay here but it would be kinda awkward and I want Saige to be comfortable.”
“We can stay here,” Saige yawns.
Mom’s smile can’t be beat. “There. It’s settled.”
I do something I never thought I would. I roll my eyes.
So, I tell Saige to go make herself comfortable and watch the girls go back to their former positions in the living room while I go out and get our suitcase from my car. The words “pussy whipped” enters my head, fleetingly, but I smile the entire time I’m doing it.
The bed I grew up sleeping in is the last place I thought I would be holding Saige in my arms in my old bedroom. Pictures and trophies still sit on the wooden shelves over my desk, posters of classic rock stars whom I’d admired in my youth still hang on the walls. It’s like I’d never left, even though I’ve lived on my own for the last three to four years.
“You played ball?” Saige has been scouring my walls since she changed into her nightgown and climbed into bed.
I let out a chuckle. “Yeah, in junior high and high school. I was a decent pitcher, even thought about going pro until….” I remember the excitement Dad showed about me wanting to play baseball professionally. He was so proud.
Her head moves on my chest and I look down into her beautiful eyes. “You could still do that, you know. You’ve remained active, eat healthy, and work out so you’re in great shape.” So fucking adorable. “I mean, you’re only – what – twenty-two?” Fucking crazy and adorable. “Oh!” She turns in my arms, propping herself up with her arm, her free hand flat on my chest. “You could follow your love for music. You’re
so amazing at that.” I smile at her enthusiasm.
I pull her down, tucking her into my side. She’s killing me here. First of all, we’ve made love a few times since she came home, but gently, afraid I’d hurt her while she heals. Second, I’m not about to make love to her in my old bedroom, at the house I grew up in, and with my Mom and Little Bit so close. That’s the main reason I wanted to stay at the hotel. I’m definitely gonna have the worst case of blue balls in history before we leave.
Rubbing her arm, I let out a sigh. “I’m twenty-four, barely. No, I no longer want to play professional ball nor do I want to be a rock star.” I chuckle at that. Raising my head, I lean down and kiss her nose, eliciting the smile I love so much. I press my head back into the pillow but continue to look into her eyes. “I love what I do. Physical therapy helps people. If I can help even one person then my day is made.”
She leans up and kisses me. The feeling goes straight to my hardened cock. “And that’s one reason I love you so much.” Her lips linger over mine as I tighten my hold around her, pulling her even closer. My hand moves up to cup her breast through her nightgown, her leg wrapping around mine, laying against my cock that’s aching to be inside her. I hear a cough from outside the door and down the hall and freeze. Saige looks up at me, smiles, then resumes her previous position beside me, her head on my chest. Looking up at the ceiling, I start thinking of things that will aid in deflating my hard as fuck cock.
Mom.
Little Bit.
Puppies.
Mr. Bethany from the nursing home.
Ah! That did it. By the time I’ve managed to calm myself, I look down and see Saige is asleep. Smiling, I pull my arm around her tighter and close my eyes. This! This is what life is all about. To think I’d seen her in a vision, on the brink of death, only to find her later in real life. When she’d told me she had a similar vision of me when she was at death’s door, made me realize even more we are meant to be together.