He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it, sending me waves of comfort.
And sometimes what happens in life is better than one could’ve ever imagined.
Thanksgiving dinner was filled with laughter, comfort, and tears in the barn house. I was seated at the table with the Wreckage as Rosie played with one of the many toys that the boys had brought back with them for her.
Eric, James, and Marcus were all smitten with the little girl in her turkey onesie, and it seemed that all of Eres was smitten with the Wreckage.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your Thanksgiving dinner, but I was wondering if me and my friend could get a picture?” a young girl said, shaking as she walked over to our table. Her friend stood back a little, trembling. They couldn’t have been over fifteen, and the stars in their eyes were so bright and filled with hope.
When Ian and the guys agreed to the photograph, the girls jumped around with glee. The photographs with fanatics didn’t stop until Big Paw made an announcement, forcing the crowds to stop storming the guys.
“How weird are your lives?” I asked them all, smiling. I loved the attention they were getting, because I knew how hard they’d worked to receive it.
“Pretty damn weird,” Marcus replied, shoving food into his mouth. “But it’s a good weird.”
“Based on the number in our bank accounts, it’s a really good weird,” Eric sang, grinning ear to ear.
“And speaking of numbers in bank accounts,” Ian said, reaching into his suit pocket. He pulled out an envelope and handed it over to me. “This is for you from us.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What is that?”
“Open it and you’ll see,” James said.
Slowly I opened the envelope, and the moment I saw what was inside, I shut it and tossed it onto the table. “What the hell is that?” I breathed out.
“It’s a check. You have seen a check before, right?” Ian joked.
“Not a check with that many zeroes, and was that a comma after two numbers? Commas don’t come after two numbers on checks!” I exclaimed. My heart was pounding against my chest from simply touching that in my hand.
Ten thousand dollars.
The guys had handed me a check for $10,000 as if it were the easiest thing in the world. I remembered a few months back Marcus and Eric had fought over who was paying for their twenty-dollar Chinese-food bill. Now, they were handing out $10,000 checks.
Funny how fast someone’s world could change.
“I can’t take that,” I told them.
Ian picked up the check and placed it back in my hand. “You can and you will. If it wasn’t for your help with the lyrics, we would’ve never been discovered, and the more we take off, the more we’ll thank you. This is just the beginning.”
“Ian—”
“No,” he cut in. “Don’t fight this, Haze. You deserve this. You do so much for others without getting anything in return. It’s about time you get rewarded for what you do.”
“And there’s more where that comes from!” Eric bellowed, swiping Ian’s dinner roll from his plate.
As realization settled in, a wave of comfort began to wash over me. That money was going to help me more than they knew. I could do more for Rosie and me. I could start saving for a future I’d never thought I could have. I could breathe a bit easier.
“Thank you, guys. You have no clue how massive this is for me.”
“Well, seeing as how you’ve been kicking it with our boy Ian, I’m sure you’re used to seeing massive things,” Marcus joked, nudging me in the side.
My face turned redder than the gelatin mold Mary Sue had made for the dinner.
“Stop embarrassing her, you ass!” Eric said, shoving his brother.
“What? I’m not! It’s not like this whole town doesn’t know about Ian’s massive cock,” Marcus argued. “Plus, I’d be happy as a dog eating a turkey bone if my girl was proud as day about my massive cock.”
“Stop saying ‘massive cock,’” Eric groaned, slapping his hand to his forehead.
“Maaassive cooock,” Marcus dragged out, looking to drive his younger brother up the wall.
“Massive what?” a voice said from behind us.
We all looked over our shoulders to see Holly standing there, sweet as ever, with a raised eyebrow.
Now it was Marcus’s turn to match the gelatin mold. “Uh, nothing, Grams,” he said, shaking his head. I loved how all of the guys called Holly “Grams,” as if they were her grandchildren too. Based on how she was with everyone in town, it was as if she were all of Eres’s grandmother.
“No, go ahead and tell her what you were saying,” Eric egged on. Marcus must’ve slammed his foot hard on Eric’s beneath the table, because Eric screamed like a person doing the polar plunge on New Year’s Day.
Holly kept smiling and waved a hand. “Oh, you boys and your humor. The dessert table is open. Go ahead and get you some pie.”
James’s eyes lit up from the mention of pie. “Did you make your homemade apple?”
Holly nodded. “Made an extra so you can get your own. Plus, there’s custard in the freezer to go with it.”
That made him and the brothers shoot up from their seats and hurry away. Ian kept staring at his grandmother with a somber look in his eyes. “What about you, Grams? Did you eat yet?”
She waved him off. “Oh no. Not yet. I’ll get to it, though. I just want to make sure that everyone else’s bellies are full before diving in.”
“Everyone’s pretty self-sufficient now, I think. Go ahead, Grams. Eat.”
She shushed him before walking over to him and placing her hands against his cheeks. Holly leaned in and kissed Ian’s forehead. “I’m so happy you’re back in town. I couldn’t imagine not spending the holiday with you. I miss you.”
Ian gave her a lopsided smile. “I miss you too, Grams. And I’m sorry I haven’t called enough. I’ll make sure to remedy that.”
“Whenever I get a call from you, I’m grateful. But don’t feel like you have to go out of your way to ring me and Big Paw. We know you’re busy becoming the next Elvis.”
I smiled at their interaction and somewhat envied it. I’d never known my grandparents, and watching the love that lived between Holly and Ian was beautiful.
“Now, go on, go on. Get yourself some pie. I’m going to notify the other tables that it’s ready,” Holly said.
“I can just stand up and shout that dessert’s a go,” Ian offered, but she shook her head.
“No, no. I want to greet everyone and let them know that I’m grateful for them being here.” She looked over to me and reached her hand out toward me. I took it in mine, and she gave me that smile that warmed me. “I’m so grateful for you being here, Hazel.”
My eyes must’ve watered, because she ordered me to not cry before she headed off to the other tables.
“Gosh, she’s a gem.” I sniffled, wiping at the few tears falling from my eyes.
“Come on, Haze,” Ian said, nudging me. “She said don’t cry.”
“I know, I know. I’m just so happy. This whole get-together is beyond amazing. I hadn’t celebrated Thanksgiving over the past few years. Even when I did celebrate, it was mainly just my mom and me eating a store-bought chicken.”
He raised an eyebrow. “My grandparents have been hosting this event since before I was born, and it’s been free to all in town. Why didn’t you come here?”
“Charlie didn’t want us getting mixed into town events. He said it would bring up too many opportunities for nosy people to get in his way.” He frowned, and I hated that. I hated when Ian looked sad for my past. I patted his knee. “But I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”
“If I could go back in time, I would’ve never treated you the way that I did, Haze. I know time has passed since our first meeting, but damn. I still hate myself a little for being such an ass to you.”
I chuckled a little. “Well, you’ve more than made up for that fact, that’s for sure. Plus, the ten
thousand dollars covers all rude comments of the past,” I joked.
He stayed somber, and I missed the happiness that lay on his lips.
“What is it, Ian?”
“I just miss you. I miss this,” he said, gesturing toward the crowd. “I never thought I’d miss home so much until I left it.”
“What do you miss the most?” I asked.
He breathed out a cloud of hot air. “Hell, everything. The stupid bumpy dirt roads. The bonfires. The animals on the farm. Dottie kicking me with her hooves. You. I miss you.”
I leaned in and kissed his lips. “Well, I’m here right now.”
“I’m thankful for that.”
“I’m thankful for you.”
His smile crept back to his lips, and he kissed me once more. As his lips lay against mine, he whispered to me, “Can I make love to you until the morning?”
“Yes,” I replied, biting his bottom lip. “Or at least until Rosie needs a diaper change.”
30
IAN
The short trip home came and went faster than I would’ve liked, but I was thankful for every second I’d been able to spend with my family and loved ones. When it came time to pack up my bags, Big Paw, Grams, and Hazel were waiting outside the house again like the first time I’d left. The only difference this time around was Rosie lying in Big Paw’s arms.
“We really need to stop parting this way,” Grams joked, kissing my cheek.
“I’ll hopefully be back sooner than later.”
“For Christmas?” she said, hopefully.
I frowned, knowing that we’d be gone doing Christmas shows. Never in my life had I missed Christmas with my grandparents. Perhaps Max would give us some kind of Christmas miracle. “I hope so, Grams.” I kissed her cheek.
Big Paw waved me off and told me not to do the sad send-off again. I kissed Rosie’s forehead and shook my grandfather’s hand. “Do good out there, Ian. Then come home.”
“Yes, sir.”
Then I moved over to Hazel, who was holding a box in her hands. I dreaded saying goodbye to her. A part of me wanted to beg her to join me on tour, but I knew that was selfish. She was making a life for herself on the ranch, and I couldn’t expect her to give up something she loved so much just so I could wake up with her every single day.
But dammit if I didn’t want to wake up with her every single day.
“This is for you,” she said, holding the box out toward me.
I raised an eyebrow and opened the box. As I studied the pieces inside, I felt as if my chest were going to explode with happiness. Funny how I’d left home to find happiness, but it had been sitting right there beside me all this time.
“It’s a piece of home,” she explained, digging through the box for me. “This is a jar filled with the old dirt road. There’s a bonfire-scented candle and a few photographs of all of us. I even took pictures of the animals around the ranch. Also, Holly made a dozen of her kitchen-sink cookies for you, and I made a few loaves of banana bread. Just something to remind you of us whenever you need it.”
I loved her so damn much, more and more each day. I hadn’t known love could keep growing, but every time I was around Hazel, my grinch heart grew three sizes.
“You’re perfect,” I told her, putting the box down and pulling her into an embrace. “I’ll see you soon, all right?”
“But not too soon,” she ordered. “First your dreams need to come true.”
“Trust me.” I kissed her forehead. “They already did.”
“You’re my best friend, Ian Parker.”
“You’re my best friend, Hazel Stone.”
“Go make your music, and then come back to us, okay? Don’t worry—we’ll leave the porch light on for your return,” she said, kissing my cheek.
I put the box into my rental van and said my final goodbye. I stopped by the other guys’ places to pick them up, and then we headed for the airport. As we sat in the terminal waiting to board our flight, I kept flipping through the pictures that Hazel had given me. It was clear as day that home wasn’t a place—it was people, and I was the lucky asshole who’d never be homeless ever in my life.
“Is that from Hazel?” James asked, nodding toward the photographs.
“Yup, she made me a comfort package, and you know what?”
“What?”
“I’m going to marry the hell out of that girl someday.”
When the guys and I got back on the road, it was a nonstop swirl of performances. We’d been given the opportunities to open for megastars across the country and then still work on preparing for our official album drop coming the following year.
Oftentimes, I thought Eric was going to have a heart attack as he watched our social media numbers climb to surreal heights. “One fucking million Instagram followers!” he shouted on the tour bus as we were on our way to Richmond, Virginia, for a show. “We just reached over one million followers!”
We all celebrated as if we’d won a damn Grammy. It felt good knowing that people were taking notice of us. That was the biggest reward to me—having people connect to the work we were putting out.
It felt as if we were in an avalanche of success. Each show we performed, more and more people would show up chanting our names. Fans would find out which hotels we were staying in. It became harder and harder to walk the streets without being recognized.
We were becoming everything Max Fucking Rider had promised to us—we were becoming famous, and it was all happening in a blink of an eye.
I was thankful for the connection I still had back home. I was thankful for my calls with Hazel because she kept me grounded.
After a mind-blowingly good show in Richmond, I tossed on a winter coat and walked outside late into the night for some fresh air and a conversation with Hazel.
“I can’t believe you opened for Shawn Mendes and I wasn’t there to see it,” Hazel sighed, probably sadder about missing Shawn than missing me.
“I’m kind of glad you weren’t here, because he looks better in person and sings better in person, and he’s just a good fucking person. I don’t need you leaving me for Shawn.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “I would’ve been begging him to have my babies.”
I smirked. “The only one ever putting a baby in you is going to be me.” My phone got quiet, and I realized what I’d said. “I mean, someday far, far away. I mean, shit. That came out pretty heavy handed. Pretend I didn’t say that.”
“No, it’s fine. Really. I just didn’t know you wanted kids someday.”
I rubbed my forehead. I supposed that wasn’t something we’d talked about before. “Well, yeah. Someday. Not anytime soon, of course. But I could see a few Ian Juniors running around. I think seeing Rosie really enforced that for me. She’s cute as ever, and it got me thinking about it.”
“She has that effect on people.”
“What about you?” I asked, with a knot in my stomach. “Do you want kids down the road?”
“Oh yes. Two or three, at least. Even four or five. I want a big family filled with laughter. I grew up with not a lot of connections, other than my mom. I want to build a big family.”
Me too, Haze.
I want to build that big-ass family with you.
I didn’t say that, obviously. It seemed a little too forward.
“Excuse me! Excuse me! Are you Ian Parker?” a voice said from behind me.
Shit.
I kept walking. Max had instructed us that if we were ever seen in public and not interested in being approached, we were to keep walking at a normal speed and act as if we weren’t who we were.
“Did someone spot you?” Hazel asked.
“Yeah, but I’m going to play it cool and loop around back to the hotel. It’s fine.”
“Excuse me! Please! You’re Ian Parker, right?” another voice said. This time it was a male’s voice. Most of the time it was women who called out to us, so the deep manly tone threw me for a loop.
“Nope, not I
an,” I called out, keeping my pace.
“It is you!” the woman said. “It’s Ian! I can tell. Ian Carter, it’s us.”
I paused my steps as my middle name rolled off the woman’s tongue.
That was a new one to me. The last person who had called me Ian Carter was my—
I turned around to see the two people following me, and I felt as if I’d been sucker punched the moment I locked eyes with them both.
“I’m going to have to call you back, Hazel,” I murmured, hanging up the phone. My lips parted as shock rocked throughout my whole body. “Mom? Dad?”
They looked broken down and tattered, but it was them. Her eyes matched my eyes; his frown matched my frown.
Mom raked her hands through her thinning hair, gave me a bright smile, and said two words as if she hadn’t been missing from my life for the past fourteen fucking years. “Hey, baby.”
31
IAN
Hey, baby.
Out of all the words I’d thought I’d hear my mother say after fourteen goddamn years, Hey, baby weren’t among them. Maybe Hey, Ian. Sorry for abandoning you and, oh, I don’t know, fucking up your mind for fourteen years. Or Hey, son. Sorry about missing those fourteen birthdays. Or Hey, son. Still a fan of those Dallas Cowboys?
Honestly, I’d thought I’d hear anything else in the whole fucking world other than those two words.
I didn’t know how it happened, but somehow the three of us ended up sitting inside a diner down the street. It was as if I were moving on autopilot—too stunned to realize what exactly was happening before me. The two of them went ahead and ordered pretty much everything on the menu and stuffed their faces as if they hadn’t eaten in years.
I hadn’t an appetite at all.
“We just wanted to thank you for meeting with us tonight, son,” Dad said, tossing a few fries into his mouth. His foot tapped repeatedly against the tiled floor. He wore a worn-down winter coat with holes in it and a winter hat. He had a beard that hadn’t been trimmed in God knew how long, and he couldn’t stop . . . fidgeting. I didn’t even know if he knew he was fidgeting so much, but he hadn’t stopped.
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