“Are you fucking kidding me?” Big Paw huffed. “You’re telling me you all been back there all this time and haven’t even done anything?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Parker, but we had to determine the best route to take for your wife’s safety. We didn’t want to cause more damage by opening her up on the table when she wasn’t physically strong enough to handle it. We’re going to work over the next few days and make sure that we get her to a stable place, and then we will revisit the surgery option.”
“Thank you,” I spat out before Big Paw could chew the doctor a new one. Judging by the fire in my grandfather’s eyes, he had a few choice words he would’ve likely used. “Can we see her?”
“She’s being transported back to her room. A nurse will notify you when you can go in.”
I thanked him again, and he stood there, almost seeming dumbfounded. I cocked an eyebrow. “Is there something else . . . ?”
“Uh, well, yes and no. Not about your grandmother, but . . .” He scratched at the side of his head. “You’re Ian Parker, right? You guys are the Wreckage? My daughter is the biggest fan of you all. Would it be completely inappropriate to ask for a photograph?”
“Yes,” Hazel cut in, stepping a few feet in front of me, blocking me from the doctor as if she were my bodyguard. “That would be highly inappropriate and extremely unprofessional.”
The doctor grimaced and walked away.
“What a piece of work.” Big Paw blew out, still shaking his head. “The things these people are putting Holly through is driving me crazy,” he said, sitting back down in his chair. “I just want to take my girl home with me.”
It shattered my heart watching how broken Big Paw was becoming. It was as if he hadn’t a clue how to exist without Grams by his side. Without her, Big Paw could hardly breathe.
“It’s going to be okay, Big Paw,” I echoed once again, hoping I wasn’t telling a lie. But I knew that was what Grams would want me to say.
Everything’s going to be all right.
42
IAN
“Can I get you anything?” Hazel asked as she held Rosie in her arms. It was wild to me how big the little girl had gotten over the past few months. “I was going to go to the cafeteria and see if I could find a coffee or something.”
I grimaced. “I’m good.”
James cleared his throat. “Maybe you could go with her, Ian, and grab us chums some food. I’m starving. Hazel, we can watch Rosie for you if you want.” James cocked an eyebrow toward me as if telling me to go with Hazel unless I wanted to continue being a dumbass for the rest of my life.
“Are you sure?” Hazel asked. “She can be quite a handful.”
“Lucky for me, I have big hands.” He stood up to grab Rosie from Hazel, and she thanked him for the help.
I stood up from my chair and stuffed my hands into my pockets as I began walking down the long hallway with Hazel. God, even with all the time that had passed, she still drove me crazy whenever she was near me. She made my heart beat erratically every single time she stole a glance my way. I noticed every time she looked, too, because I hadn’t been able to pull my eyes away from her.
We were both quiet, but I felt her nerves filling the space. Or perhaps it was my own nervous energy. I couldn’t tell anymore whose feelings were whose. She rubbed her hand up and down her arm as she gave me a small smile. “I know you’re probably worried about your grandmother, but you don’t have to be. She’s a fighter. And you were right when you told Big Paw that if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I think he needed to hear that. I think it’s true too.”
I clasped and unclasped my hands repeatedly as I kept walking down the hall. Holy hell, where was this cafeteria? On the other side of the planet?
“Can we talk about anything other than Grams right now? It’s too heavy and hard.”
She nodded. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Us. Let’s talk about us. What was the hardest part of being apart to you?”
“The hardest thing in the world was not being able to reach out to you when I had a bad day. Or talk to you when things went well. I missed you so much, Ian, and for a long time I convinced myself my missing you was one sided. I convinced myself that you were happy and living your dreams to the fullest. I needed to do that in order to keep myself from reaching out. But I’ve written you a million messages in my notepad, updating you on things. Letting you know what was going on in my world.”
“I still want to know everything, and this time, I’m not going to let you go. We will have our forever kind of love story. The kind of love Big Paw and Grams share. I’m going to grow old with you, Hazel Stone.”
She stood there completely still, her lips parted as if she were stunned by what I’d just said. I knew it would probably take her some time to wrap her head around it all. I knew she’d need time to let it settle in, but I didn’t care.
She was going to be my happy ending, and I was going to be hers. I didn’t have plans on going anywhere anytime soon.
“Hey, you guys,” a voice said, snapping us from our conversation. We looked down the hall to see James holding a sleeping Rosie in his arms. “Holly’s awake if you want to go see her.”
“Okay.” I nodded, and before we started heading in the direction of Grams, I lightly placed my hand on Hazel’s forearm. “Just to be clear, Hazel, you’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful it makes my chest ache. I love you. Fully, hopelessly, greedily.”
Her lips parted, and a small sound escaped her. “I love you too.”
“I’m doing okay,” Grams said repeatedly as we all stood over her hospital bed. She looked so tired and weak. It broke my heart seeing her in such a state. But the nurses informed us that it was good that she was talking. Even though she wavered in and out of sleep.
“You don’t have to lie. If you’re not good, say it, and I’ll get these doctors to do their damn jobs,” Big Paw grumbled, sitting close to Grams’s bed as he held her hand in his.
Grams smirked and looked my way. “Please don’t tell me this old fart has been giving all these kind folks at this hospital hell.”
“You know Big Paw. All bark and some bite,” I joked.
“Well, I heard the nurse saying you’ve all been here all day. Go home and get some food and rest. Lord knows you’re tired.”
“I’m not leaving your side, Holly Renee,” Big Paw argued.
“Yes, you are. Go home and get some sleep. I can tell by your bags you haven’t slept in days. And take a damn shower. I could smell you from down the hall earlier,” she joked; then she had a coughing fit, making everyone alarmed. “Really, you guys. I’m in good hands here. Just go get some rest. Please. That will make me feel better. I can’t get better if I’m worrying about Harry’s health.”
He frowned and pressed his lips to her hand. “You’re too good for this world, Holly. Too good for me.”
“I know.” She smiled. “Now, go home and listen to your wife.”
“Eric and I will stay with her while you guys go get some rest,” Marcus offered.
“I’ll stay too,” James added in. The three of them were like grandsons to Grams. Of course they’d offer to watch over her.
“See, Harry? I have a slew of people looking after me. Go get some rest, and come back by morning.”
“I love—” he said, leaning in and rubbing his nose against hers.
“You,” she finished, rubbing her nose back against his.
Hazel and Rosie headed out with Big Paw and me back to Big Paw’s house. As we pulled up, Hazel took control, making sure everyone was fed and cared for and making sure Big Paw got into the shower and headed to bed. She was so good at the mothering role. It came so naturally to her—the same way it came to Grams.
We stayed in Big Paw’s guest room that night, because I didn’t want him to be left alone. The guest room had been set up with a crib for Rosie, who was now down for the night.
After I took a shower of my own, I headed back to the
guest room, where Hazel was sitting at the desk, studying.
“When do you take a break?” I asked.
She snickered and yawned. “From studying or from life? Because the answer to both of those questions is never.”
“Maybe take one now?”
She looked over to me and bit her bottom lip. “Okay.”
“Meet me in my old bedroom so we can talk without waking Rosie?”
“Will do. Let me grab the baby monitor, and I’ll be right over.”
“Sounds good. And Hazel?”
“Yeah?”
“Check your Instagram.”
43
HAZEL
After Ian left my bedroom, I hurried over to my cell phone to open Instagram. My heart was flying at a million miles per hour, wondering what it was that I was supposed to be witnessing. Then I saw it. Ian’s newest post.
A post of me.
I’d never seen the picture before. He had to have taken it when Rosie was in the NICU without me knowing my photograph was being snapped. I was looking down on Rosie with the biggest smile against my lips as I stared at my little sister. It was a simple shot. Nothing out of this world, but the one thing that could be taken away from the picture was love. There was so much love shining through as I studied my little sister’s heartbeats.
The likes on the post were skyrocketing right before my eyes. Hundreds. Then thousands. Then hundreds of thousands. I was officially going viral on Ian’s Instagram page.
My hands fell to my chest as I went to read the caption that accompanied the photograph.
This woman controls my heartbeats. Every love lyric I sing each night is made for her. Every melody chases her heartbeat, and every chorus begs for her love. It has been brought to my attention that a few people on my management team have chosen to approach the love of my life and tell her that she wasn’t good for my image. Due to her looks and the past she had no say in creating, they said she wasn’t good enough. It’s true, we grew up in the same town, but that didn’t mean our home lives were built on the same steady foundation. I was blessed enough to never know struggle. This girl had to fight tooth and nail for everything she was given. She sacrificed her own youth, because she didn’t want her little sister to go into the foster system. She gave up love, in order for me to go chase my dreams. She gives and gives in order to make others happy, because that’s the person she is.
She’s the most beautiful human being alive, and for anyone—especially people who are supposed to be in my corner—to say differently disgusts me to my core. I am not a robot. I hurt, I ache, I love, and I cry. And it breaks me to live in a world where I have to be afraid of showing who I really am in order to gain followers.
So if you don’t like this fact—that I am not single and that I am hopelessly in love—then that’s fine. If I lose fans over this, I’m okay with that. I will make every sacrifice in the world from this point on in order to give my love fully to the woman who has given more than she ever should’ve had to give. I love you, Haze. From the new moon to the fullest. From now until forever.
He’d made a public declaration of love for me. Giving his manager the biggest middle finger in the whole world. My hands trembled as I reread his words a dozen times. Then I heard him call out to me.
“Haze? Are you coming?”
I took a sharp inhalation and hit like on the post before placing my phone down on the dresser. “Yes. I’m coming.”
The moment I stepped into his room, I didn’t give him a chance to offer me any words. My lips crashed against his as he wrapped his arms around my body. Our kiss was so much more intense than ever before. It was as if we were making up for the lost time, for all the kisses that had gone missing due to Charlie.
His tongue danced with mine, and I greedily sucked at his bottom lip whenever I received the chance. We made love that night, rocking our bodies together, fitting our pieces back into their rightful places. He owned every inch of my body and every piece of my soul. Every time he slid into me, I moaned for more. Every time he thrust deeper, I dug my nails into his back.
“Forever,” he whispered into my neck before swiping his tongue against my skin.
“Forever,” I breathed out, thrusting my hips toward him.
We made love three more times that night, each time more passionate than the last. And when I fell asleep in his arms, I knew I was home.
I awakened to the loud sounds of banging. I sat up in bed, looking around as confusion hit me.
Bang, bang, bang!
What in the world?
I glanced over to the left side of the bed, where Ian had been before, but he was missing. My hand swept over his spot, and a chill raced over me as I missed his warmth.
Bang, bang, bang!
I shot up to my feet and grabbed my robe, tossing it on quickly. I checked in on Rosie to make sure she was all right, but thankfully, she was still sleeping peacefully.
I hurried down the steps and paused when I’d almost reached the bottom. The whole living room was in complete disarray, as the wooden panels of the floor were being pulled up. Big Paw was taking a hammer to them, and Ian stood beside him, pulling up his own pieces.
It was still pitch black outside, and I, for the life of me, couldn’t figure out if I was still dreaming or not.
“What’s going on here?”
Big Paw didn’t look up. He kept hammering and hammering nonstop into the floor.
Ian looked up to me and gave me a sloppy, broken smile. “He’s been promising Grams that he’d fix these floors for the past twenty-five years. I came down and saw him hammering at it, so I joined in to help.”
“She shouldn’t have to come home to this squeaky mess,” Big Paw murmured, wiping away the tears that kept falling from his eyes. “I’m the asshole who didn’t do it when she asked.”
He was beating himself up because he was scared for his wife. His mind must’ve been terrified that he wasn’t able to fix her, to make her better. So he did what he’d spent the past eighty years of his life doing—manual labor to show his love. He hammered into the floor, and Ian stayed directly next to his grandfather, being the rock that kept him steady. Working as hard as he could to help tear up the floor. I wasn’t sure if what they were doing made any kind of sense. Maybe it was just an outlet to let their worries release from their souls.
Truth was, it didn’t matter why they were doing it. All that mattered was they were doing it together.
I grabbed a hammer and joined in, because that was what family did. We stood by each other’s side through all of the ups and downs.
A week later, Holly’s lungs were doing better, and the pacemaker surgery was performed. Thankfully, the operation was quick and without complications. Her recovery process would require a lot of care and attention, but she had a good army behind her to make sure everything went as smoothly as it possibly could.
All of the guys pitched in to help finish the flooring in Big Paw’s house before Holly came home.
“The biggest concern is making sure Holly is all right,” Eric said one night as we all gathered in the barn house. “The music isn’t going anywhere.”
“I still feel bad for all of this, you guys. Max has been coming down hard on us all since I put up that post about Hazel, and I feel bad that I didn’t come to you all about it first,” Ian said.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Max Fucking Rider crossed every line saying that to Haze! He had a lot of nerve, and if I had known, I would’ve never let that fly. I’m glad you posted that shit. It’s about time someone spoke the truth,” Marcus exclaimed. “And another thing: he also fucked us over with our album! Fuck Max Fucking Rider in the fucking ass.”
James sat on the stage where the band used to put on all of its shows. His fingers ran across the wooden platform, and a crooked smile sat on his lips. “I miss this place. I never really thought I’d say that, but I do. I miss the way we used to love the music. Don’t get me wrong: I know we’re blessed, and I wouldn’t give up
this world for anything, but it feels like it’s so far out of our control sometimes, and I feel like if we don’t put a stop to some of these crazy demands, we’ll lose ourselves down the line.”
“I say we take a vote,” Eric commented, dancing his fingers across his keyboard. “All in favor of sitting down with Max and Donnie and having a real fucking talk about who we are and what we want to do with this career of ours, say aye.”
“Aye.” The room echoed, and I smiled at them. The four boys who had dreams that they were taking control of once again.
Ian held his hand out. “Until forever.”
Each of the guys walked over to him and placed a hand on top of his. “Until forever.”
They all looked over to me with cocked eyebrows, perplexed. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to crash your moment. I can let you guys—”
“Hazel, if you don’t bring your hand over here right this second, I will have to force you over,” Marcus threatened.
I laughed and walked over, placing my hand on top of theirs. “Until forever,” I agreed.
“Speaking of Max and Donnie”—Eric smiled wide as he pushed his thumb against his nose—“I think I know the best way of tackling our issue.”
“And how’s that?” Ian asked.
“Let me show you.” Eric walked over to his backpack near his keyboard and pulled out his laptop. As he powered it up, we all crowded around him. “You all know how I’m a professional at always recording videos and stuff, even when people don’t know it.”
“Yeah, speed up to your point,” Marcus harassed his brother.
Eric pulled up a video and hit play. “I’ve been making a nice home video of situations with Max and Donnie since we met them. Times we’d been at parties and Max popped pills or did lines of coke. Times both of the very married men were seen with women on their arms. Times when they’ve had aggressive conversations. Everything. We have enough to nail these assholes.”
The Wreckage of Us Page 31