by Regina Darcy
Christiana frowned as she watched him ride. Was that something she might offer to him? Her assistance? It was not as though she had any experience in solving such mysteries, and certainly not one that had taken place so long ago, but she felt as though she ought to try and remunerate him for his kindness towards her in some way. She had nothing else to offer him, given that she was both penniless and entirely ruined, and it might be that he refused her suggestion outright—but it would be better to offer than to remain silent and unwilling, would it not? Even if all he wished to do was to talk about his wife, about what had occurred and about how much he despaired each and every Christmas, then she could listen to him as he talked. If he wished it, that was. Mayhap his desire was to avoid the subject completely, which she could well understand.
Compassion and sympathy rose in her heart. To have endured such a loss must have been utterly terrible for him. It was little wonder that he wanted to forget each and every Christmas. He had told her last evening that he had been angry that his mother had accepted an invitation to a Christmas ball without consulting him, although he had been quick to say that his mother was not at all unkind and was only, perhaps, a little thoughtless at times. Christiana smiled to herself as she continued to watch Thayne ride alongside the carriage. Mayhap he would want to spend Christmas in her company, instead of at the ball.
Utterly astonished, Christiana closed her eyes tightly, feeling a slight tremor run all through her. Where had such a thought come from? That was the most ridiculous idea and certainly not something she should allow herself to even imagine, given what she had just endured! Her heart had been foolish enough already, and she would certainly not let herself begin to think of Thayne in such a fashion.
Yes, he was, by all appearances, a good man and a kind one, with troubles all of his own, but that did not mean she was about to fall hopelessly in love with him. As far as she knew, he might still long for his wife, might not even be considering the thought of matrimony—and even if he was, he certainly would not look twice at a genteel young lady whose reputation had been thoroughly ruined.
Opening her eyes, Christiana berated herself under her breath, glancing out of the window again to see Thayne looking back at her. Their eyes met, and despite her determination to feel nothing for the gentleman in any way whatsoever, her breath caught in her chest as heat bloomed in her cheeks.
She turned away. No, she would not be so foolish, not again. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the squabs and forced her heart to resume its normal rhythm. She would not allow her mind to fill with thoughts of Thayne nor let her heart quicken at the sight of him. No matter what it took, she would remain stoic yet grateful, unaffected but considerate. If he allowed her, she would attempt to help him with his own troubles but would not let her affections be roused in any way.
The carriage came to a sudden stop, wrenching her from her thoughts. Her heart leapt into her throat as she saw Thayne leap down from his stallion and make his way towards her. Panic began to rise within her and she held tightly onto the seats, her breath coming quick and fast. Had she been entirely wrong about him?
***
At the Bell and Whistle, Mr and Mrs Truscott were staring at the neatly folded linen in the maid’s room.
“So, she is gone then,” muttered Mrs Truscott.
“Yes, Mrs Truscott, there was no stopping her,” replied Mr Truscott. His wife frowned as if she had many a thing to say about that statement in particular.
When Christiana had first walked over their threshold and enquired about working for room and board with only the clothes on her back and a small valise, they had not known what to make of her. They had seen enough travellers arrive and depart their establishment to know that this girl was no tavern maid. Her skin was flawless, her teeth pearly white. In the couple of weeks that they had her there, it had been amusing seeing her tackle various household tasks.
She did so with gusto and a real willingness to learn. She had not always succeeded, but her good nature had brightened up the place.
“Will she be safe with the gentleman, Mr Truscott?”
“I do not know, Mrs Truscott, but I do believe so. There is no way of knowing how her story will end, but Nettlefold during Christmas is a magical place. I do not doubt that it will sprinkle a little bit of that magic on young Christiana.”
FIVE
Two days later
Entering the boarding house for what was the second time in two days, Thayne let out a small sigh of relief as the sound of laughter carried towards him, spotting the two ladies walking and laughing together as they came towards the front door. Lady Christiana was obviously quite content here at the Hardcastle House, which brought him no end of satisfaction. When they had been making their way here, he had been more than aware of her lack of trust in him, her ongoing fears that he might treat her as terribly as Lord Archibald had.
Whilst riding towards the Hardcastle boarding house, he had seen a broken down, damaged carriage lying by the side of the road, next to an old wall and had stopped the carriage to ask Lady Christiana about it—only to see her staring back at him in fear. It was as though she expected him to do something unspeakable to her, as though she thought he was about to use her vulnerable state to his advantage.
When he had made it clear he was not about to do anything of the sort and was simply coming to ask her about the carriage, the relief on her face had been evident almost at once. He had sought to reassure her, yet again, about his good intentions, and for the first time, he had seen something in her eyes that told him she was beginning to believe him.
He had proved himself to be honest, true, and kind, had he not? Surely, she could no longer think of him as being dangerous or false in any way whatsoever, given that he had, as he had promised, brought her to the Hardcastle House. He was growing almost desperate in his desire for her to trust him, although he could not explain why that was. She was beautiful, yes, but he did not treat her with kindness in the hope that she might repay it in some way. No, that was not his goal. All he wanted to do was to help her, simply because she was in a precarious situation that she could not remove herself from without aid. That was all.
So why does your stomach twist whenever you lay eyes on her?
With an effort, Thayne quietened the voice in his head and greeted Lady Christiana and then Mrs Hardcastle. Lady Christiana seemed to be quite glad to see him, given the way that she smiled, a little colour springing into her cheeks.
He was glad that she had been acquainting herself with Mrs Hardcastle, who was not as old as she pretended to be, Thayne was quite sure. There was a youthfulness about the lady that could not be hidden, no matter how she dressed. Mrs Hardcastle always wore drab, dark clothes and attempted to make herself appear more senior than she was, but Thayne had never questioned her about it. Mrs Hardcastle had her own reasons for doing so, but nevertheless, Thayne was glad that she had warmed to Lady Christiana.
It behoved Lady Christiana also, in that it made it clear she had no airs or graces even with her station in life. She was treating Mrs Hardcastle as though she were a very dear friend, worthy of an acquaintance and even a friendship with herself. That, Thayne thought to himself, made Lady Christiana all the more delightful in his eyes.
“Thayne,” Lady Christiana said, coming towards him after she had risen from her curtsy. “You did not tell me that Mrs Hardcastle would be so wonderful!” She turned her head and smiled at the lady, who smiled back in return. “I have had such a delightful day with her, and I have been doing my best to earn my keep.”
“Although I have not asked for it,” Mrs Hardcastle interrupted, shooting Thayne a sharp glance. “Lady Christiana has insisted on doing all she can to help me, and I haven’t been able to refuse her.”
Thayne chuckled, wiping away the slight worry that had appeared in Mrs Hardcastle’s expression. “Lady Christiana is not the sort to be easily persuaded from whatever her mind has decided, Mrs Hardcastle,” he said, aware of how Lady
Christiana blushed as he spoke. “I have learned that in the short time we have been acquainted, although I do not think that strength of mind is in any way a failing, my lady.”
“I am glad to hear it, sir,” Lady Christiana replied in a soft voice. Her eyes met his—so like his late wife’s, and yet so different in so many ways—and Thayne felt himself burn inwardly.
Clearing his throat, he turned back to Mrs Hardcastle and smiled, albeit a little self-consciously. “I thought to stay for dinner, Mrs Hardcastle, if you have enough to spare?”
Mrs Hardcastle beamed. “More than enough, sir,” she replied at once. “I would be glad to have you.”
“And I will pay full price for it all,” he answered, seeing her nod. “But for the moment, I think I shall steal away Lady Christiana. It is a fine afternoon, and there are some things we must discuss—if that pleases you, my lady?”
Lady Christiana’s eyes were still fixed on his, her gaze intense and unrelenting. It was as though she were attempting to see inside his very soul, and Thayne felt himself shift uncomfortably within himself as though he were afraid of what she might find there.
“For a walk, sir?” Lady Christiana asked, after a moment or two.
He nodded. “Yes, I thought we might take a walk out of doors. There are a few fine places to explore near the boarding house, including a very picturesque little place just behind the boarding house itself.” Seeing the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, Thayne tried to smile. “I have a maid waiting to accompany us, of course.”
“Oh.” Lady Christiana flushed crimson, her gaze dropping to the ground. “You are very considerate, sir.”
Seeing Mrs Hardcastle step away, excusing herself from their presence, Thayne gave Lady Christiana a small smile. On impulse, he stepped a little closer and took her hand in his, forcing her eyes back up to his face.
“Can you not trust me now, Lady Christiana?” he asked gently. “I have proven myself to you, have I not? I am not cruel. I am not unkind, and I will not take advantage of you. Truly, all I wish to do is inform you of something I have discovered about Lord Archibald and, mayhap, discuss what you might wish to do.” He shrugged and let go of her hand, finding that he missed the feeling of her hand in his almost at once. “But I would not bring any pressure to bear upon you. If you would prefer to remain here, then I would be glad to sit with you.”
Lady Christiana shook her head, her gaze slowly softening.
“You must think me very foolish, indeed, to refuse to trust you,” she said quietly. “You are quite right to state that you have proved yourself. It is only my ridiculous fears that continue to gnaw at me—but I will not let them do so any further. Of course, Thayne, we may walk together. I would be glad to speak to you about anything you wish to discuss. Although,” she continued, looking down at her gown, “I fear that I may become a little chilled. This is the only gown Mrs Hardcastle was able to lend me, whilst my travelling gown is being washed and prepared. Although, the muffler you gave me will, at least, keep my hands warm.”
He grinned at her, his heart lifting within himself as she caught his eye, confusion flickering in her expression over his delight.
“My dear lady, if you will return to your room, you will find some new items of clothing for you to wear. There should be a warm walking dress within.” Seeing her astonishment, he could not help but laugh. “I had the maid I sent with you take measurements,” he replied, with a small shrug. “The local dressmaker, Mrs Mary Merton, who coincidently also makes the Dowager Duchess of Kilmerstan’s clothes, has already altered some gowns for you. They will not be perfect, by any means, but they should do. I will wait until you have changed.”
For a moment, it looked as though Lady Christiana was frozen in place. She did not say a single word but rather stared at him, her face going suddenly white. To his surprise, her lips began to tremble, and evidently overcome with emotion, she pressed one hand over her mouth, a sob escaping from it as she did so.
“Please, do not cry,” Thayne said softly, a little taken aback at the depth of emotion she was expressing. “You need not, my lady. It is only right that you are cared for in such a way, is it not? I do not want you to be without.”
She shook her head mutely, tears dripping from her glistening eyes onto her cheeks, and Thayne felt something tear within his heart.
“Please,” he said again, pulling out his kerchief from his pocket and handing it to her. “Take this.”
Lady Christiana did not take it, however. Instead, she threw herself into his arms, her hands around his neck, her body pressed against him. Sobs racked her frame, and Thayne could do nothing else but hold her, his heart suddenly bursting to life within him.
As she cried for some minutes, Thayne found himself whispering into her hair, trying to comfort her in any way he could. He felt as though he had done something terribly wrong in trying to do what was right for her, afraid that he had insulted her by purchasing gowns and the like, but he could not have allowed her simply to have one gown and one gown only! That would never do, not for the daughter of a marquess.
“Why are you so kind to me?” Lady Christiana lifted her tear-stained face to look into his eyes, although she remained close to him.
Thayne cleared his throat, feeling her breath brush against his cheek and finding his mind scrambling for an answer, his thoughts running like a rushing river.
“I—I want to help you,” he said eventually. “Why should I not?”
“But why?” she persisted, her hands still tight about his neck. “Do you not know what people will think of me? They will think that I am a fallen woman now, that I am disgraced and unworthy of their notice. They will turn away from me, give me the cut direct—and it will all be just as I deserve. Why then do you treat me with such kindness? Why do you not look at me with disdain, as you should?”
A sudden, fierce anger burst through him, and as her eyes searched his, Thayne could not help but lift his hands to her face, framing it gently.
“You must listen to me, Lady Christiana,” he said firmly. “I will not look at you with disdain, because I do not feel as though you deserve it. You were cheated, lied to, manipulated, and used. None of that is your doing. This all falls onto Lord Archibald’s shoulders. The guilt is his, the responsibility his alone. You believed he loved you, and for that, you were willing to give him everything. How great is his shame! How great is my disdain for him!”
Shaking his head, he made to drop his hands, only for Lady Christiana to press her own against them. A surge of awareness caught him, and Thayne found himself struggling to catch his breath, such was his response to her nearness. “I will not let you bear the responsibility for something that is not your doing, my lady,” he finished softly. “My heart goes out to you. Mayhap that is why I am so eager to come to your aid, I cannot say. The pain I see in you, the loss, that is something that I know all too well—although it is in a much stronger fashion, I grant you. Besides which, you are helping me to remove any thought of Christmas from my mind,” he finished, with a slightly rueful smile. “That is a very great blessing, I assure you.”
Lady Christiana smiled up at him, her eyes filled with an emotion he could not quite make out. “You are quite wonderful, Thayne,” she replied hoarsely, her words barely loud enough for him to hear. “I do not know what to say to you, nor what to think, given your generosity and kindness, which I still feel I do not deserve.” She shook her head and dropped her hands, forcing him to remove his own from her soft cheeks. “My own father will not treat me with any of the tenderness you have done thus far.”
“Then, that will be his mistake,” Thayne replied firmly, before he could stop himself. Lady Christiana looked up at him sharply, evidently surprised by his fervour, but Thayne did not take back what he had said. As far as he was concerned, any father who treated his daughter with disdain and a lack of forgiveness was quite in the wrong.
“You do not know my father,” Lady Christiana murmured, turning a little away f
rom him. “He is a hard man. He had such great plans for me. Now that I have rejected them, I feel quite certain that he will turn his back on me also.”
“And that is why you wrote to your sister, to pretend that all is well?” Thayne asked gently. “You fear what he will say?”
Lady Christiana hesitated for a moment, considering, before nodding slowly. “That may be a part of it, Thayne,” she replied, her voice still barely louder than a whisper. “Just think. If I had remained in London, then I might now have been married to a duke!”
His gut twisted fiercely, forcing Thayne to catch his breath. There had been such misery in her voice, such regret, that he could almost see just how disappointed she was in her own actions.
“It is not the title, of course,” she continued as though talking to herself, her gaze now on the floor by his feet. “But rather that I would not find myself so alone in the world. I do not think I shall ever be able to marry now. I shall never be mistress of my own house. I shall never have children or a husband of my own.” Her voice broke, tears dripping onto the floor. “Perhaps it is a just punishment,” she finished sadly, “a means of reminding other young ladies that they ought to do just as they are expected and not attempt anything as foolish as I have done.”
Something fierce burned up Thayne’s spine, his heart slamming wildly into his chest. Before he knew what he was doing, he had taken Lady Christiana’s hand in his own and had tugged her a little closer.
“If you would have me, I would marry you in a moment,” he said breathlessly. “You will not be alone, Lady Christiana, if you do not wish it. My hand is yours for the taking. If you wish to marry, my lady, then I will come to the altar with only a moment’s notice. You need only say the word, and I will be yours forever.”
SIX
“Mr Thayne is not coming today?”