by Regina Darcy
Thayne swallowed hard, trying to think through it all carefully. “That does not mean—”
“Of course, it does not,” Lady Christiana interrupted quickly. “I only thought it might be something to consider. After all, Mrs Hardcastle is quite certain the gentleman did not give her his correct name or title, although he was evidently someone of quality.”
Something sparked in Thayne’s thoughts, sending a sudden flurry of hope all through him. “You think this gentleman might be involved in some way?”
Lady Christiana spread her hands hopelessly. “I cannot say. It was simply something that caught my attention, something that I thought should be shared with you. Mrs Hardcastle is ready to describe the gentleman to you and go over all that occurred, should you wish it.”
Thayne hesitated. It had been five years since his wife’s death, and in that time, he had allowed himself to carry the burden of guilt and pain with him every single day. He could not quite imagine what it would be like to discover the person behind his wife’s death, wondering if it would free him from his self-imposed shackles. It was as though he did not want to give it up, as though he were afraid of what it would be like to live without that weight any longer.
“Thayne?” Lady Christiana pressed his hand, taking a step closer to him. He could not help but look into her eyes, marvelling at just how beautiful they were, how rich in colour, how delicate her features. It astonished him to realise he did not once think of his wife when he looked at her, realising that he was becoming quite caught up with the lady.
“I—” He cleared his throat, dropping her hand and taking a small step back. “I think, Lady Christiana, that I will listen to whatever Mrs Hardcastle has to say,” he stated. “But first, since we are both out of doors, perhaps we might walk for a few minutes, so that I might inform you of what I have heard of Lord Archibald?”
Lady Christiana looked both relieved and pleased. “But of course, sir,” she said at once, turning to walk alongside him. “And I must apologise in case what Mrs Hardcastle says turns out to be nothing of import.” She dropped her head, letting her gaze slide from his face. “I do so want to be of aid to you, in the way you have helped me.”
The gratitude she felt was evident, and Thayne felt himself softening, the tension he had felt only moments ago beginning to drain away. He offered Lady Christiana his arm and smiled when she took it without hesitation, thinking to himself that she was both kind and generous in her own way, evidently desperate to help him from his pain. That spoke to his heart, and even if they were not successful in making any progress in the matter of his wife’s death and the person responsible, he would be grateful that Lady Christiana had tried to help.
“You need not repay me, Lady Christiana,” he promised gently. “Although I am grateful for your willingness to help.”
She looked up at him, a vision in the early morning sunshine. “It must be such a burden,” she commented, softly. “And my own struggle seems so very foolish in comparison. A simple emerald pendant is nothing when I think of what you have endured.”
He pressed her hand with his own. “You need not think of it that way, my dear. I am quite able to understand your difficulty. To have something to remember a loved one can be so very important.”
Lady Christiana held his gaze. “Do you miss your wife, Thayne?”
He could not answer for a moment, his heart quickening with the sudden swell of anxiety. “It is the guilt I feel,” he said eventually. “I was not there when disaster came upon her. If I had been, then I would not be without her today.”
Lady Christiana shook her head sadly. “That is not your fault, sir.”
“I know,” he admitted. “In my heart, I know that, but since I have never been able to find who had done such a thing, I have taken the burden upon myself. I think I do miss her, in my own way. I miss her company, her presence, her laughing face—but then, I must confess, that I struggle to recall her appearance. It has been five years, and with only the miniature I have of her, I cannot always bring her to mind.” He looked down at Lady Christiana again, seeing her eyes flicker with something unspoken. “We could have been very happy, I think, but it was not to be.”
Lady Christiana sighed heavily and turned her face away. “I am sorry for what you have had to endure, Thayne.”
“I am glad of your company, however,” he continued, brightening his tone. “I have always found Christmas to be such a difficult time, but now, with you by my side and a mystery to solve, I find myself quite at my ease. I need not think of Christmas. I need not think of what has gone before. Instead, I have a new purpose. That will get me through this year’s festivities, I think—although I do have to attend a Christmas ball.” Seeing her turn her head back towards his, he smiled at her. “As do you.”
Lady Christiana’s eyes widened in astonishment, her mouth partly open. “A Christmas ball?” she exclaimed, evidently confused. “I am to attend?”
“As my guest,” he added, feeling a sudden swell of delight that he would have her by his side. “I was to refuse to go at first, but I have been informed that Lord Archibald is also to be in attendance.”
At this news, Lady Christiana came to a dead stop beside him, the colour fading from her cheeks almost at once. Her hand trembled as she held onto him, and seeing her reaction, Thayne took her other hand in his, ready to steady her.
“Lord Archibald is to be at this ball?” Lady Christiana repeated, her voice a little hoarse. “You are quite sure?”
Thayne nodded. “The ball is to be held in one of the large estates of Upper Nettlefold.” He smiled gently, attempting to encourage her. “My mother has already accepted the invitation on my behalf, apparently. The Duke of Kilmerstan is a friend of the family, and of course, she had no reason to refuse him. In fact,” he continued, with a wry smile, “it was that information that sent me out riding the day we met.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of Lady Christiana’s lips, the colour coming slowly back into her cheeks. “Indeed?” she asked, her hand tightening in his own.
“Indeed,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Although I should be grateful to her now, I suppose.”
Lady Christiana’s eyes searched his own. “And how do you know that Lord Archibald is to be in attendance?”
He let out a long breath. “Because I called upon the Duke of Kilmerstan and discovered it to be so. The Duke knows Lord Archibald from our days in London, which is how I am also acquainted with him as you know. Somehow, His Grace had been informed that Lord Archibald was to be in this area over Christmas, and doing his duty, he made sure to invite him. In fact,” he finished, with a good deal of satisfaction, “I have discovered where Lord Archibald is residing. The Duke did not have any qualms about divulging that information.”
Lady Christiana drew in her breath sharply, her eyes rounding all the more.
“I wanted to call upon him almost at once,” Thayne added, his lips quirking. “I thought to turn his house upside down in an attempt to find the emerald that belongs to you, Lady Christiana, but upon discovering that he is residing with another gentleman of quality, I thought the better of it. Besides which, it is a good day’s ride away to get there and given that the ball is in two days’ time, I thought it best to simply wait for him to appear.”
For a long moment, Lady Christiana said nothing. She simply stared at Thayne as though she could not quite believe what she had heard.
Fighting the urge to draw her into his arms again, Thayne remained as he was, his hands tight on hers as he waited for her to speak.
“My, my,” Lady Christiana breathed after a moment, her eyes drifting over Thayne’s shoulder. “I do not quite know what to make of this, Thayne.” Her gaze shot to his, her lips quivering. “But what will he say when he sees me at the ball? He may very well run off, and we shall never catch him.”
Thayne patted her hand. “I have already dispatched men to the address where he is residing. You need not fear, Lady Christiana. Even if L
ord Archibald were to turn tail and run back to his abode, as I expect he may do given how cowardly he is, the men I have sent will have made their way into the house and into Lord Archibald’s rooms. They will recover the emerald pendant for you, I promise.” He tried to reassure her with just his words and a gentle squeeze of her hands, having absolute trust in the men he had sent. “You will not be without it for much longer.”
Lady Christiana’s breath shuddered out of her, shaking her frame. “Thank you,” she stammered after a moment, her eyes glistening with sudden tears. “I do not know what else I can say in order to show you just how grateful I am for your generosity.”
“You need not say anything,” he stated firmly. “For I can see it in your eyes, my lady.” His smile lingered, seeing her happiness and finding his own heart overflowing. “I am glad to have been able to help you. Although, I think you must promise to dance with me during the duke’s ball.”
She laughed then, her eyes sparkling. “Thayne, I will dance as many times as you wish, no matter how improper the rest of the guests may think it,” she promised, pressing one hand against his cheek for a moment. “Although, what will people think of me?” Her smile faded, the lightness in her eyes darkening. “They will question my presence, will they not?”
The words hovered on his lips, his gut twisting for a moment. “Not if I introduce you as my betrothed,” he said slowly. “I meant every word I said, Lady Christiana. I will marry you, if you will accept me. I will give you a life filled with as much happiness as I can, I swear it.”
Lady Christiana did not smile. “I know that, Thayne,” she stated calmly. “But I fear that you are too good a gentleman to waste your life on one such as me.”
He shook his head, capturing both her hands in his. “You need not go on considering yourself to be so unworthy,” he said, almost desperate for her to believe him. “I do not think of you as that, not in any way. It would be a blessing for us both, I know. You would be restored, without disgrace or shame, and I would no longer find myself alone. Loneliness has been with me for so long; I find that I am growing so very tired of it. You have brought brightness back into my life, Lady Christiana, in the few short days we have known one another. I do not want to lose that again. I do not want to lose you.”
Lady Christiana nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “Might I ask you whether you seek my company because of who I might remind you of?” she asked bluntly. “I have heard it said that I look a little like your late wife.” Pulling her hands from his, she stepped back, spreading her arms out wide. “Is that why you wish to wed me? To recall happy memories from long ago?”
Such was Thayne’s surprise that he did not immediately respond to Lady Christiana’s question. He had never once suspected that she might be aware of how similar she was to his late wife, given that he had spoken about her very little. Mrs Hardcastle, of course, might have said something similar to what he had bene thinking himself, Thayne realised, his heart sinking to his toes.
Only for Lady Christiana to turn her head away, her expression one of distress. He had hesitated for too long.
“Lady Christiana,” Thayne began, finding himself almost desperate to reassure her. “I will confess that the first time we met, I was caught by the beauty of your eyes, which are so similar to my late wife—and it may have been that such a thing was the reason for my eagerness to help you. It is all very strange to me, I confess, for in no other way do you share her likeness. And yet, for whatever reason, I was drawn to you.” He spread his hands, a sadness welling up in him that he could not explain. “I will not pretend otherwise, my lady, but you must be assured that as I have begun to know you, I have seen you and not Ramona. I have only been thinking of you. I have not come to your side in the hope of regaining memories of my wife as I might once have done.”
She turned to face him. “You felt so once?”
“Once,” he admitted quietly. “At the first. Not any longer.”
“And you can give me your word that this has no bearing on your desire to wed me?” she asked softly, her voice filled with doubt. “You must be honest with me, Thayne. I beg it of you.”
He drew in a long breath. “As I have said, Lady Christiana, you are in no way similar to my late wife, other than in the beauty of your eyes. She was a quiet creature whereas you have fire and spirit.” Her eyes flickered as he spoke. “I find that difference to be both difficult and welcome in equal measure. Should you accept my hand, for whatever reason, Lady Christiana, I can assure you that I will have no expectations that my marriage to you will be similar to my first. I offer you my hand in the hope that I might bring you out from the shame and fear that you face in returning to your father—and also in the hope that I might no longer face the loneliness that has clung to me for so long. A loneliness that I have been quite unable to remove myself from, and which, only now, do I realise that I want to throw away from myself. Truly, Lady Christiana, I speak only what is in my heart. There is no lie on my lips.”
For a long moment, Lady Christiana looked at him steadily as if she were assessing what he was saying to see whether or not she was able to trust him.
Thayne held his breath and kept his gaze steady, praying that she would see the truth within his heart. Of course, he had not told her that there were the beginnings of a deep and true affection already growing for her within himself, for he had not even wanted to consider such things in his own mind, not when it confused him so.
“Thank you for speaking to me with such frankness, Thayne,” Lady Christiana said, shattering the silence between them. “I will consider your offer a little longer if I may and will give you my answer the night of the Duke of Kilmerstan’s ball. Will that suit you?”
He smiled before inclining his head. “Indeed, my lady,” he replied, a flicker of hope melting into his beating heart. “That will suit me very well indeed.”
She returned his smile with one of her own, although it was a little timid, he thought
“Very good, Mr Thayne,” she said, with a slight lift of her brows. “Now, might we return inside? I know Mrs Hardcastle is waiting for us, and besides that, I am growing rather cold.”
Chuckling, Thayne offered her his arm. “It is rather cold, is it not?” he replied, wishing he could put one arm about her shoulders and pull her close to him. “But I am quite sure Mrs Hardcastle will have something warm for us, to go along with her tale.”
“It is more than a tale,” Lady Christiana said at once, her tone a little dark. “It may change everything for you, Thayne. I wonder then, what you will do?”
EIGHT
“May I say that you look absolutely beautiful!”
Christiana flushed and turned her head towards Mrs Hardcastle, who had just entered the room. “Do you like it, Mrs Hardcastle?” She was clad in a ballgown of dark green, green like the holly that would, she was quite sure, decorate the Duke of Kilmerstan’s ballroom tomorrow night. “Thayne sent it to me.”
“Did he indeed?” Mrs Hardcastle replied with a slight lift of her eyebrow. “Well, now, that is very generous of him. I should say I am surprised that he has such excellent taste in gowns, for that is quite wonderful.”
Christiana smoothed the front of the gown, a warm smile capturing the curve of her lips. “Indeed,” she murmured, half to herself. “Once again, I am shown that the Honourable Aaron Thayne is a very kind man indeed.”
Mrs Hardcastle smiled gently. “And he did appear to be rather inclined to listen to what I had to say, did you not think?”
Christiana considered for a moment, recalling just how carefully Thayne had listened to Mrs Hardcastle yesterday over luncheon, how he had asked her questions and even written down a few short notes so that he might consider them later. She had no doubt that he thought that such a gentleman may have been involved in his wife’s death but that the chances of finding such a gentleman would be very slim. The description of the man did not make anyone come to mind, either for herself or for Thayne himself, for it
had simply been a gentleman of average height, with dark hair, and, if she could recall correctly, brown eyes. Mrs Hardcastle had reminded them both that it was some years ago, apologising for poor memory, but Thayne had waved away her apology almost at once. It was to be expected, he had said and had thanked her profusely for what she had thus far recalled.
“I am glad he was so willing to listen and to consider the matter,” Christiana agreed slowly, her heart sinking to the floor. “I just wish that I was able to help him further.” The thought of marriage had not left her mind ever since Thayne had made his wishes clear again yesterday, the thought of becoming his wife never failing to appear quite agreeable. She had not yet told Mrs Hardcastle, however. “I think, Mrs Hardcastle,” she continued slowly, choosing her words with great care. “I think that Thayne wishes to marry me.”
To her astonishment, Mrs Hardcastle did not appear to be in any way surprised. “But of course he does,” she said, quite practically. “You are a lovely young lady with a good heart and a strong character. Why would he not wish to wed you?” She laughed quietly on seeing Christiana’s confusion. “I will tell you this, Lady Christiana. Thayne has never once looked at a lady in the way he looks at you, not in a good many years.”
Christiana shook her head, not wanting to believe this. “You have not seen him all that often, however.”
“Often enough,” Mrs Hardcastle replied firmly. “Oft times, he would be lost in a place of his own, his face filled with darkness and grief. I have seen that lift in the days that he has come to be with you. It has been almost a fortnight now, and he shows no sign of retreating from his regular visits.”