Holding On

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Holding On Page 15

by Lisa Mills


  After her shower, she dressed in jeans and a pale pink t-shirt, then slipped into Trevor’s room. He’d kicked off his covers in the night and turned his body almost all the way around so his head was aimed at the foot of the bed. His limbs were flung out at odd angles so that he stretched the width of the mattress. She shook her head. Thank goodness they didn’t have to share a bed last night or she’d have taken some punishment.

  “Trevor. Time to wake up, honey. Breakfast is almost ready.”

  His face twisted into a pruny scowl, and his hands came up to rub at his eyes. He rolled over, putting his back to her, and fell still again.

  “Trev!” She growled and gave his hip a playful swat. “You’re not going to sleep through pancakes, are you?” Crawling her fingers up to his ribs like a giant spider, she found his most ticklish spot and gave them a wiggle.

  He twisted away from her, laughing, his beautiful brown eyes blinking open. “Mom, stop!”

  She sat on the edge of his bed, giving him a minute to fully wake up. “My brother, Brandon, is coming for breakfast and bringing his wife Sarah. We’ll all eat together, and then I’m sure we can find something fun to do later in the day.”

  Trevor sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face. His pajamas were skewed so the buttons down his shirt ran diagonally across his chest and disappeared around his side. He’d had a wild night.

  “Can you get dressed and brush your teeth?”

  When he nodded and started to climb from the bed, Danielle got up and pulled some jeans and a t-shirt from his dresser. “Put this on, then visit the bathroom, okay?”

  She stepped into the hall and sat down on the top stair to wait for him. By the time he’d finished with his morning ablutions, several unfamiliar voices carried through the lower level of the house. “I think your uncle and aunt have arrived. Would you like to go meet them?”

  With a grin and a nod, he hopped down the first step.

  “Hold the rail,” she ordered, her heart skipping. There weren’t any stairs in their little cottage, so Trevor was oblivious to the danger of falling down them. “And walk carefully, please.”

  He rolled his eyes at her orders, but did as she asked.

  They reached the base of the stairs without incident and let the sound of voices guide them to the living room. When Danielle entered, the handsome young man sitting on the couch jumped to his feet and flew across the room.

  “Danielle!”

  “Brandon?”

  He wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug, lifting her off her feet and whirling her around. She heard Trevor laughing from the doorway. For the first time since her arrival in Northwood, she felt like she’d come home.

  When Brandon set her down, she stepped back, hands on his thick shoulders and studied his face, unable to believe that her gangly little brother was somewhere inside this good-looking man. He grinned down at her, teeth straight and white, his dark blond hair streaked and highlighted by the sun. Blue eyes seemed that much brighter against his tanned skin. “Brandon, you’re so … tall.” When she’d left, they’d been about the same height. Now he towered over her by six inches at least.

  He laughed, and the sound hadn’t changed much, except to grow a little deeper. “Boy, is it ever good to see you,” he said, giving her another quick hug. “You look good, Elly.”

  Elly. She hadn’t heard that nickname in … well, in eight years. Only Brandon called her that, mostly because it had great rhyming potential. Elly, belly, smelly, and a few others, some not even real words. His favorite pastime had been making up limericks and poems with those words, all of them derogatory and irritating, but she didn’t mind too much. She’d had ways of getting revenge.

  “There’s someone I want you to meet.” He turned and led her further into the living room. Danielle hadn’t noticed the leggy brunette on the far end of the sofa. She stood as they approached and offered her hand.

  “This is Sarah, my wife,” he said, pride and love achingly clear in his voice. He moved to her side and draped his arm over her slender shoulders.

  “Nice to meet you, Danielle.” Her voice was soft and melodious, making Danielle wonder if she was a singer. Or maybe a dancer, judging from her long, graceful form.

  “Sarah, you seem so normal and sweet. I’m surprised my ornery brother was able to convince you to marry him.”

  She laughed and looped her arms around his waist, looking up at him with undisguised adoration. “Well, it’s really difficult at times, but I do manage to put up with him.”

  He bent and kissed her on the nose. “And I appreciate it.”

  They stared at each other, the love between them so intense that Danielle had to look away. She caught site of Trevor, still lingering in the doorway. “Come meet your uncle and aunt.”

  He skipped forward and tucked himself under her outstretched arm.

  “This is your Uncle Brandon and Aunt Sarah.” She looked at her brother and his wife, watching their faces carefully to catch their reactions. “This is Trevor, my son.”

  Brandon’s pearly smile stretched across his face. The braces had really done wonders for him. He squatted down, putting himself on her son’s level. “Trevor, my man, so nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, and Trevor slapped him five. “I hear you’re a baseball fan and a player too.”

  Trevor nodded eagerly. “I play first base, and I have the second-best batting average on my team.”

  Brandon’s eyes widened in feigned surprise. “Whoa! You’re practically a pro, then. What do you say after breakfast we go out back and play some catch? I think your Grammy still has one of my mitts from Little League in the garage. It ought to be just your size.”

  “Awesome!” Trevor looked up at Danielle and she saw the look in his eye, one she’d been noticing more often of late, that glow whenever a grown man paid him some attention. Maybe this move would be good for Trevor if Brandon was willing to spend time with him now and then.

  “Breakfast is ready. Come and get it.”

  “Grammy’s done cooking,” Trevor announced. “Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the dining room.

  Brandon and Sarah laughed at his eagerness, but Danielle couldn’t blame him. Tasty aromas had drifted from the kitchen to fill the whole house, making her mouth water and her stomach growl.

  Morning sunlight spilled through the dining room window, laying patches of gold on the dark walnut floors. Her father already sat in his seat, the South Bend Tribune held in front of him as he read.

  A leaf had been added to the table, making it longer, and two tan folding chairs had been added to increase the seating. They looked like intruders amidst the matching table set … or poor cousins come to visit. Danielle took Trevor’s hand and guided him to the chairs on one side of the table. Brandon and Sarah took the other side.

  A large bowl of scrambled eggs and a plate of bacon slices and sausage links sat in the center of the table. As they tucked their napkins across their laps, Mom carried in two more platters, one with French toast, the other heaped with pancakes. After setting them down, she pulled a syrup bottle from the pocket of her apron and added that to the mix. “Just one more bowl,” she said, disappearing into the kitchen again.

  “There’s more?” Brandon asked, laughing. “Is it safe to eat this much food, Mother?”

  She was wearing a warm smile when she returned and set a bowl of fresh fruit salad in front of him. “If you practice some restraint, you won’t explode before the end of the meal.” Everyone laughed, and Sarah nudged Brandon in the ribs with her elbow.

  She felt a tug on her sleeve and turned to find Trevor signaling her to lean down. She lowered her head until he could whisper in her ear. “I like eating with all these people, Mommy. It’s fun.”

  Danielle looked around the table at the smiles and happy faces and decided that, yes, they were having fun. The mood at the table was lighter than any meal Danielle had eaten there since her first visit. But then it was hard to feel tense around Brandon.
He was one of those men who set people at ease with his quick laugh and his happy outlook. And Sarah had a peacefulness about her that made Danielle feel like she could forget her worries for a few hours and just be.

  “So Brandon, what are you doing for a living these days? I assume you’re out of school now, right?”

  He spooned a pile of fresh fruit onto his plate before he answered. “I’m a golf instructor at a country club in South Bend.”

  “Really?” That explained the tan and the natural highlights, but it wasn’t a career she remembered him considering as he began to think about college. In fact, she’d never heard him mention golf before. “You were thinking about accounting when I left. How did you get into golf?”

  He shrugged. “Just happened, I guess.”

  “I’ll tell you how it happened,” her mother said, jumping into the conversation. “Your brother joined the high school golf team his freshman year—right after you left, Danielle—and as it turned out, he was a natural. He played all four years and several colleges offered him scholarships.”

  “Where did you go to school?”

  “Indiana University.”

  “Not bad, little brother. What was your major … other than golf, I mean?”

  He grinned. “Accounting.”

  Beside him, Sarah laughed. “He works for a tax accountant during the winter months since golf is a little slow around here when there’s snow on the ground.”

  “Best of both worlds.” Brandon grabbed a slice of bacon and bit off a chunk.

  “How about you, Sarah? What do you do?”

  Sarah set her fork across her plate and took a moment to wipe her mouth. “Like everyone else, I work for one of the RV manufacturers here in town. I’m the shipping coordinator, which means handling all the paperwork and coordinating with drivers to get our fifth wheels to dealers across the country.”

  “Sounds interesting.”

  “Not really.” A long sigh escaped her lips. “It’s just phone calls and paperwork, but the pay is decent. I almost have the student loans paid off and then we’ll start working on the car loan. We want to pay off as much debt as we can before we start our family, then maybe I can stay home a few years with the kids.”

  “Very practical.” Danielle’s father spoke for the first time. “Sarah is a good influence on your brother.”

  Danielle grinned at Brandon. “Yes, I remember how quickly his allowance disappeared each week, usually on bubble gum and giant jelly beans from The Dime Store.”

  He smiled. “I’m a reformed man. I budget my hard-earned cash more wisely now. Besides, I gave up bubble gum and jelly beans when I had braces.” He reached for the plate of French toast and helped himself to another serving. “So what are your plans, Danielle? Mom says you intend to live in the area for a while.”

  She would have preferred to keep the attention off herself, but she figured she owed them all a little explanation. “I thought I’d call about some local apartments today. I need to run downtown and get the latest edition of the paper.”

  “I know there’s a few lofts available above the storefronts downtown, but you probably want a two bedroom, right?”

  “That would be ideal.”

  “Danielle, I’ve been thinking,” her mother interrupted. “Why don’t you and Trevor stay here for a while?”

  A moment of shocked silence hovered over the table. Danielle swallowed hard. “What?”

  Karen set down her silverware and leaned toward Danielle, an earnest look on her face. “It seems silly to rent a two bedroom apartment when we have two empty bedrooms upstairs. And if you were here, I could help you after Trevor’s treatments. He would have twice the care.”

  Maybe. But Danielle suspected she would have twice the frustration. Her relationship with her parents was only slightly better than strained. A daily dose of that kind of tension and she’d be mental in a month. She forced a light laugh. “Oh, Mom, it’s been a long time since you had a young child around. You don’t know what you’re in for.”

  But her mother wasn’t giving up easily. “Please, Danielle. Just for a while. Let us get to know our grandson and get him past the worst of his treatments before you move out on your own. We really want you.”

  But did she want them? Seeing them on occasion, yes. Living with them every hour of every day, definitely in the “not really” column.

  “Could we, Mommy? Please?” Trevor had been so quiet through the meal that Danielle had almost forgotten he was sitting beside her. She realized too late that her mother had not played fair. Asking in front of Trevor was a dirty trick, one that smacked of manipulation on her mother’s part.

  “I like this house,” he said, heaping coals of guilt on her head. “And I want to watch baseball with Granddad and eat Grammy’s cookies.”

  Now, how was she supposed to argue with that logic? Holding onto her bitterness was making her feel small. She was thinking only of herself and her personal issues and not really considering what he would want or what was best for him. Once he started chemo again, which would be soon, she would need help caring for him, or at least someone to relieve her at times. And she wouldn’t be able to work much until he was past the worst of it, maybe until after the transplant. If she could keep her expenses down, she’d still have the money left from selling her car to get an apartment later.

  Surely she could put up with a few frustrations for a while, long enough for Trevor and his grandparents to get to know one another and get their fill of togetherness. She suspected that everyone would be ready for some distance in a month. Then she could move out without looking like the bad guy.

  “I hadn’t thought about it before, but I guess it’s an option.” Danielle knew her mother’s invitation was sincere, but her mother had a tendency to speak on her father’s behalf without his permission. She looked to the head of the table. “Dad, is it okay with you?”

  Her father finished chewing his bite of eggs and laid his fork across his plate. “Like Karen said, we have plenty of room for you. And your son is getting to an age where he needs a male role model. I can provide that more easily if he’s here.”

  Heat burned into Danielle’s cheeks. Was he intentionally trying to shame her? In the first full sentence he’d spoken to her since her arrival, he chose to bring up her son’s illegitimacy in front of the whole family, new sister-in-law included. Her fingers bunched around the napkin in her lap and twisted hard.

  “So we can stay? Yeah!” Trevor’s grin lit the room with its brightness.

  Danielle choked on her anger and forced a smile for him. “We’ll give it a try.” If anyone heard the ambivalence in her voice, they didn’t mention it. Her mother was too busy making plans with Trevor to visit the new splash park in town while Brandon and Sarah looked on with indulgent smiles. Her father had picked up his fork and was intent on his pancakes.

  Then another thought occurred to her. “I’m not sure what I’ll do with everything in my moving van. It’s not going to fit in the house. But I’ll need to hold on to it for the day when we do move out on our own.”

  Brandon drained his orange juice and wiped his upper lip. “A friend of mine owns the storage facility out on the main highway. He mentioned he has a few units open. The rent is reasonable.”

  Her family had an answer for everything, didn’t they? “I guess I could call him. Do you have his number?”

  With a look at his cell phone’s contact list, he provided all the information she needed to eliminate her last excuse to refuse her parents’ offer.

  They would be staying.

  For a time.

  A short time.

  Danielle knew better than to think they could live under the same roof for long without old conflicts rising up to torment them. The signs were there—subtle, but Danielle knew what to look for. This tentative truce they’d found themselves in wouldn’t last for long. She only hoped she would see the war coming so she could get Trevor off the battlefield before he got hurt.

  C
hapter Nineteen

  Danielle pushed out of the vinyl chair in the hospital waiting room with a flinch of pain and began a slow circuit of the room. If she sat still for too long, she feared her muscles would lock up. But when she moved, they sent stabs of pain screaming down her limbs. She rolled her shoulders and felt every sinew cry out in agony.

  Yesterday afternoon Brandon and Sarah had volunteered to help her transfer the contents of the moving truck to the storage unit. The three of them, and Brandon’s friend Michael, had spent hours in the hot sun, sorting through boxes and arranging large pieces of furniture like a jigsaw puzzle in the little storage cubicle. Today, her body was complaining.

  “How much longer, Mommy?”

  She glanced at the clock above the receptionist’s window. They hadn’t been waiting all that long, but Trevor’s tolerance for the rigors of his cancer treatments had gradually waned. She didn’t blame him. She didn’t want to be here either, but what she wanted and what she had to do were two very different things these days. “I’m sure it’ll be any minute, honey. Play your game, okay?”

  He pulled his Gameboy from his pocket and flipped the “on” switch. Little blips and bleeps blended with the instrumental music playing through the waiting room speakers.

  Danielle went back to her pacing, wondering how long it would be before she could get her office set up. By the time she and Brandon and Sarah had sorted all her things and filled the storage unit, they’d been too tired to do anything but set her desk and computer in the garage alongside a stack of boxes she’d kept out. She still had to unpack all of that and find a place to set up her office. And she hadn’t given any thought to where she’d find work.

  Back in Florida, she had a fairly established clientele. Here, she’d be starting from scratch, making cold calls and running an occasional ad if she could afford it. Thankfully, she had some time before she had to have income again. Though she dreaded living with her parents, it would ease the burden on her checkbook.

 

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