by Erika Kelly
“But we usually swim first,” Coco said. “Which would you rather do? Eat lunch first or go in the hot springs?”
“Swim, Mommy.” She tugged on Coco’s hand.
“Okay.” Shielding her eyes with a hand, she gazed up at Beckett, only to find him still shaken. “Would you rather have lunch first? We have a favorite spot right over there in the woods for our picnic.”
“No, swimming sounds good.”
“Okay, well, why don’t you grab your swimsuit out of the bag, so I can get Posie changed?” Because, of course, her daughter couldn’t wear her suits under her clothing, not with all the added tulle and lace.
“Sure.” Kneeling, he set the tote on the ground and dug underneath the stack of towels. His hands shook, and Coco’s heart wrenched for him. It was enough to find out he had a child, but at the same time, he had to deal with the memories of losing his sister around the same age.
If she remembered correctly, he’d watched it happen.
The first time Coco had heard it, she’d ached for his loss. This time, though…she had a five-year-old, and it wrecked her. She wanted to drop everything and hold him, let him know she understood what he was going through.
Finding his trunks, he started to get up, when Posie came right up to him. The two stared at each other for a long moment. And then she reached out and patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry I scared you, Beckett.”
A tremor went through his body, rocking him hard enough to set him back on his heel. With an expression of awe, he said, “That’s okay. I overreacted.” He broke into a heart-stoppingly beautiful grin. “You think we can hug it out?”
Posie moved right into his arms, and he closed his eyes, abandoning the tote to wrap her tightly against him. Coco had never seen a man’s features express such a complicated mix of emotions, happiness, confusion, and true, raw pain.
Emotion tightened her chest, as she witnessed the bond forging between Posie and her father.
Alarm bells sounded in her mind.
Everything’s going to change. She didn’t know how, but it would.
Because this man had crossed a line. He might not know it yet, but he wasn’t going back to his old life.
And that meant her carefully balanced world was going to come crashing down.
Chapter Seven
Beckett couldn’t shake off that moment on the chairlift, so on their way home from Bear Mountain, he’d asked Coco to drop him off at the Bowie training center.
He’d seen accidents like that happen before. Once, a teenage boy had dangled precariously, until a group had gathered beneath the chair to catch him.
This time, though, it was Posie. Jesus, she was so frail, so slight…she’d have shattered like a Christmas ornament if she’d hit the ground.
Fear rippled through him, and he shook the image of her broken body out of his head. Cut that shit out.
Posie wouldn’t have fallen. They’d both had a grip on her.
So, yeah, he needed a break. Needed to hang out with old friends and feel like himself again. Because that whole thing—the three of them together like that—had started to feel way too much like a family.
Which they weren’t. I’m leaving tomorrow, and I don’t know when I can be back.
He entered the main building and headed straight for the reception desk. “Hey, are the Bowies around?”
But, before the guy could answer, they heard a burst of male laughter. The receptionist smiled and tipped his head toward a hallway.
“Got it. Thanks.” He only had to walk a few feet before he found Brodie, the owner of the Owl Hoot Resort and Spa and the guy who’d offered to sponsor his wedding, in the main office.
The new dad offered him a big grin and a side hug. “Hey, man, good to see you.”
Side because the mountain of a man had a carrier strapped to his chest. “Look at you with this pretty new accessory.”
Brodie grinned at the tuft of wispy hair peeking out. “This is Lou. Well, actually, she’s Princess Lucia Grace Mathilda Bowie, but that’s what happens when you marry a princess.”
“You’re married?” He hadn’t heard anything about a Bowie getting married.
“Not officially, but yeah.” His smile was soft, warm. “Heart and soul, man, they’re my heart and soul. So, you hear to talk wedding plans? Or do you want a tour?”
“I’d like a tour, if you have the time.”
“Well, that’s a fuck of a lot better than talking wedding shit, so yeah, I’m in. Come on.” Brodie led him back out of the building, where a group of athletes were just leaving a state-of-the-art gym with floor-to-ceiling windows. Sweaty and exhausted, they toppled over like dominoes, crashing on the lawn.
The campus spanned across acres, and Brodie pointed out the massive and deep swimming pool for water ramp training, a trampoline gym, a physical therapy wing, and a co-ed dormitory.
Beckett had never seen anything like it. “This place is amazing.”
“You trained in Lake Placid, right?” Brodie walked alongside him, his daughter’s tiny legs dangling out the bottom of the carrier. In the shade of a white, floppy sunhat, the baby stared wide-eyed at the world, blinking.
“I did. But that was a decade ago, and it didn’t look anything like this.”
“Yeah, it’s cool.” Brodie playfully patted his baby’s feet with his palms. “Fin’s done a good job.”
It was hard enough to imagine the fearless, wild Bowie brothers locked down in committed relationships, but Brodie with a baby? And looking so damn happy about it? It didn’t compute. “You all work here?”
“It’s Fin’s place, but we stop by when we can. Keeps us out of trouble.” Opening the door to the gym, he headed right for the stairs and led them to a second-floor viewing room.
Rows of trampolines bolstered with blue landing pads filled the large rectangular space. Scattered around the room, coaches in red T-shirts worked with small groups of athletes.
One coach stood out. “Is that Will?” The tall, muscular man bounced on a trampoline. A freestyle skier, he’d retired after winning an Olympic gold medal. Wait…isn’t that Gray? “You’re all here.”
“Will just dropped Ruby off at camp. I thought Gray was supposed to be running errands.” Brodie chuckled. “I guess we’re here more than I realized.”
“Ruby? Will’s got a kid, too?” He had to be living in an alternate universe. One where the men least likely to settle down found themselves with children and committed relationships.
“Ruby’s our half-sister. Will’s raising her. We’re the only two with kids so far, but the others won’t be far behind.”
“Not Fin.” No way would the ultimate rebel and badass settle into a traditional life.
“Couple years back, he worked things out with his high school girlfriend. He’s been busy building the training center, and she’s been working on her museum, but things are on an even keel, so any time now.”
Most of his friends had settled down—no big deal. But the Bowies? “You seem…happy.”
“Never been happier.”
“Figured you guys had it all—family, the Tetons as your gym…I remember those trips you’d take with your dad, the remote mountains, uncharted terrain.”
“Yeah, we had some good times.”
“Why would you give it up to be saddled with kids?” The ugly words landed before him like roadkill. “Shit. That didn’t come out right.” The last two days had left him rattled.
Brodie chuckled. “No, I get it. Before I met Rosie, I felt the same way. Couldn’t figure out what my brothers were doing. Fin had never wanted anyone but Callie, so fine, I got that. But Will, man, he’s a stay-at-home dad. And Gray’s married.” He shook his head. “Couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why give up your freedom and all the good times to be tied to one woman? But then I met Rosie.” His expression changed, lightened. “When I weighed the things I thought were so great against what it felt like to be with her? No comparison.” He nudged Beckett. “You know what
I mean. You’re doing it, so you get it.”
“It’s not like that for me and Willow.”
“What’re you saying? The wedding’s not real? Is this some kind of social media stunt?”
“No, we’re getting married. But only because Diane made the offer. It’s not like I proposed.”
“I thought you were already engaged. That’s why we made the offer.”
“Nah. Willow posted a picture of us kissing, and her followers took it as an announcement. It wasn’t. I’ve never even thought about proposing.” Even while focused on the athletes bouncing and flipping, Beckett could feel Brodie watching him. And it made him feel like shit. Because he hadn’t taken the idea of marriage seriously. He’d viewed it as a means to draw attention to his business. “I never wanted to get married.” He glanced at the baby. “And I don’t want kids.”
The moment the words left his mouth, the reality of his situation zapped him with an electric prod.
Because I have one.
A beautiful, spirited, sensitive daughter.
And, after spending the day with her, she’d become a person. She wasn’t just a source of guilt for not helping Coco with a problem they’d both created. She wasn’t an idea, a concept.
She was a little girl full of sass and compassion, with idiosyncrasies and quirks.
Fuck.
He wanted to talk to Brodie about it, but he couldn’t do that until he checked with Coco.
Until I figure out what I’m doing, what role I’m going to play in her life.
Coco had made it clear he could leave tomorrow morning, free and clear. Go back to his life. She didn’t need anything from him. It could be as simple as sending child support each month. Or he could set up a college fund. Both. He’d do both, of course. She’d shouldered the financial burden on her own for five years. He owed her.
Maybe he’d pay off her mortgage, or he could buy the building, put the deed in her name, so she didn’t have to lease space for her chocolate shop. He needed to relieve her burden in some way, and it didn’t require his physical presence.
Except…he knew exactly what it felt like to have a mom alive in the world who didn’t give a shit about him. And he couldn’t do that to his own kid.
“You all right?” Brodie asked.
“Sure.” He dug his hands into pockets. “Great.”
“You don’t have to do this, you know. We haven’t announced anything yet. I don’t think you’ve even chosen a date, so if you want to back out now…it’s not a problem.”
Beckett tugged on the neckline of his shirt. It felt like it had shrunk two sizes in the wash. “I think I need some air.”
“Sure, man.” But Brodie hesitated. “You love her?”
“Willow?”
Brodie looked at him like he had a screw loose. “Yeah. Willow.”
“I like hanging out with her. We have fun.” He cringed.
Jesus Christ. How shallow am I?
“Okay, but we’re talking about marriage. When you see yourself ten, twenty, thirty years from now, is she with you?”
Beckett let out a humorless laugh. “I haven’t looked that far ahead. You know what it’s like to be a competitive athlete. I grew up at the academy. Every minute of my time was scheduled. Meals, workouts, training, school from one to six, unless I was on the road for a competition.”
Brodie nodded. He knew.
“From the moment I retired, the only thing I’ve wanted is freedom. I don’t want anyone telling me where to be or when.”
“I hear that. You know the crazy thing? After I met Rosie, all that freedom I thought was so great? Turned out to be pretty fucking lonely. My life was about me. But with Rosie and Lou, my life’s about so much more. Making my woman and daughter feel safe, loved, wanted, protected…that shit runs deep. There’s nothing like it.”
They headed down the stairs and out the door. Outside in the bright sunshine, clapping and whistling came from the pool. He glanced over, but he couldn’t see anything past the memory of Posie paddling around the hot springs in her inflatable arm bands. So fucking cute, it killed him.
And to have Coco there with him? The way, when Posie did something adorable, they’d share a look. That hot, electric connection between them? Seriously, if he had to have a kid…he’d lucked out with Coco as the mom.
Fuck, he wanted to talk to Brodie about his situation. I’m a hot mess. “I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“Around what?”
Shit, he’d said it out loud. “You with a kid. That’s…serious stuff.”
“It is.” When his daughter looked up at him, Brodie grinned like she’d just pulled a one-footed double-backflip. “I’ll tell you something. I’m twenty-eight years old. I’ve looked around every corner, been to every party. I know what’s out there. I don’t need to do any of it anymore. I don’t need anything but them.” He gazed out over the lawn, the tree limbs rocking, leaves shushing in a breeze. “Rosie…she’s like an essential piece of me I only realized I was missing once I met her. I don’t know how else to describe it, other than to say there’s symbolism in getting married. It’s like fusing the missing piece to me so I never have to feel that emptiness, that hole…”
“I don’t feel empty.”
“I didn’t either. Until I met Rosie. And, let me tell you, once you have that—that kind of passion? How the fuck can you go without it?” He looked down at his daughter. “I’ve got a few more months to get my language under control. We all do. Can you imagine a Bowie family dinner with all the kids telling each other to fuck off and shove it up each other’s asses?” He grinned. “Gonna have to be careful.”
As they neared the main building, Brodie said, “Frankly, the only reason we’re not married already is because Rosie wanted to wait until she had the baby. A wedding’s going to be a big deal, because she’s from San Christophe. So, there has to be two ceremonies—one there, and one here. But I wouldn’t do it, man. If you’re not feeling it, I wouldn’t get married. Not for some Splashgram moment.”
Once inside the main building, they ran into Fin Bowie. “Oh, hey, man.” The rugged-looking man shook his hand. “Beckett. Good to see you.” He looked to the doorway he’d come out of. “You know who this is?”
A tall, lanky teenager stepped out of an office. The moment he saw Beckett, his jaw dropped. “Holy shit. Are you kidding me right now?” He cupped his skull like he was trying to keep it from toppling off his neck. “You’re Becks O’Neill, five-time X Games gold medal winner.”
“Good to meet you,” Beckett said. “You training for Slopestyle?”
“Yeah, literally because of you.”
“Hey, no sucking up, man. I retired six years ago.” Sure, he got recognized when he judged competitions but rarely by anyone this young.
“Are you kidding? I watched you compete every single year when I was a kid. My coach plays tapes of you because he says, to this day, no one’s ever been as stylish as you while doing the most creative and technical tricks.” His eyes went wide. “Are you a guest coach?” He turned to Fin. “You got Becks as a coach? This is like my dream come true.”
“No, no,” Beckett said. “I’m only in town for a meeting. I leave tomorrow morning.”
“It’s a good idea, though,” Fin said. “You can coach here any time you want.”
“Thanks. I’d like that.” He shook the kid’s hand. “Good luck, man.” He turned to Fin and Brodie. “Good catching up with you guys. I’ll be in touch.”
As he headed to the parking lot, he tugged the bill of his hat lower to block the sun. Since retiring he’d done a lot of judging—because it was fun, and he got to catch up with old friends—but he hadn’t done any coaching.
And it’d be a good way to spend more time in Calamity.
Dammit, just thinking about leaving in the morning, heading off to Thailand…
He felt that same tug of resistance he had this morning, only this time it was stronger. Because now he’d felt Posie’s little hand
on his shoulder, saw the compassion in her eyes when she’d apologized to him.
She was sweet and fiery and smart and…
Mine.
He’d just have to figure it all out from Thailand.
As soon as Beckett got into his rental car, he checked his messages. In the shade of a willow tree, windows open so he could hear birds singing, the breeze rustling the branches, and the occasional bursts of clapping from the training pool, he caught up with the most pressing business issues.
Then, finished, he opened the thread of texts from Willow.
Willow: Did you book your flight for tomorrow? You need to get here before Friday. They never open the island this late in the season, but they’re doing you a huge favor.
Willow: I hate the time difference. You’re sleeping when I’m playing. I stayed up till four this morning. This city never sleeps!!!
Willow: You won’t believe this, but they’re throwing us a traditional Thai engagement party. Well, not the whole thing, obviously. But we’ll have the procession and the Buddhist blessing. I’m telling you, our followers are going to go nuts.
Willow: How was your day? They’re treating me like royalty here. When I checked into the hotel, I found out they’d upgraded us to the honeymoon suite. I get in there, and there’s all these orchids and champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. I’m sure you’ve already seen it. It’s all over my pages.
Willow: Ugh. This is so frustrating. Call me. I have so much to tell you.
The conversation he needed to have with her couldn’t be done over text, so he tossed his phone into the cup holder and started the engine, heading for the highway.
He liked Willow. She was a lot of fun and down for any adventure. But she didn’t affect him the way Coco did.
Where Willow was a free spirit—fearless, fun, and uninhibited—Coco was steadfast. Elegant. Smart. Ambitious.
Coco met her challenges head-on. And her inner strength? Such a fucking turn-on.