by Erika Kelly
“You just met her, and she let you live in her backyard?” Fin looked to his brothers for confirmation. “She’s got a kid.”
Well, hell. He’d stepped into that one.
“You and Willow good?” Brodie asked.
Fuck. He grew hot and itchy. “We ended things.”
All three stared at him.
They weren’t stupid. It had taken them point-three seconds to piece things together. “I lie for shit.”
“You really do, man,” Brodie said.
Fin smiled. “Don’t worry. That’s a good quality.”
“You don’t have to tell us anything,” Will said. “It’s none of our business.”
Brodie gave him a concerned look. “On the other hand, between the three of us, we’ve probably been there.”
Beckett let out a bitter laugh. “Not this.”
“Look.” Ruby jumped to her feet. “I finished, Wheel.” She grinned wide, exposing her missing front tooth, and flung herself into his arms.
“You sure did.” Will hugged her, his eyelids flickering closed, and for just a moment, he had an expression of bliss.
Ruby pulled away and tapped Brodie’s knee. “Can I have some paper, Uncle Bwodie? I’m going to make baby Lou a picture.”
“Yeah, of course. Hang on.” Brodie got up and headed over to the printer. Pulling out some clean white sheets, he passed them over.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, doll.”
“Here.” Digging into his top drawer, Fin pulled out some pens and highlighters.
“I’m going to dwaw on Maisy’s desk.” As soon as she left the room, Beckett could hear her talking to the coach in the next office.
“She’s cute.” It was hard to believe she was only a year younger than Posie. A lot happens in that year. “I still can’t imagine you as a dad.” Of all the brothers, Beckett had spent the most time with Will, thanks to their competition schedules.
“She’s our dad’s, actually,” Will said.
“Yeah, I’d heard she was a half-sister. But you’re pretty much raising her?”
“I am.” Will got up and sat in the chair. “Our dad passed away about two months after she was born. He didn’t even know about her.”
“She showed up on our doorstep when she was two,” Brodie said. “We didn’t know what to do with her.”
“It was a whole different world back then,” Fin said. “None of us had kids, I was still trying to get back together with Callie. Marriage, family, wasn’t on anyone’s radars.”
“So, we were going to take turns raising her, but—” Will started.
Brodie interrupted him. “Not our smartest plan. But what did we know?”
“Turns out, we didn’t have to make any decisions.” Fin smiled at Will. “She chose him.”
“What does that mean?” Beckett asked. “Chose him?”
“For some reason we still can’t figure out, she latched onto this guy like a spider monkey.” Brodie smacked his older brother on the back of the head.
“She took one look at the Three Stooges over here and clung to me like I was her last hope.” Will grinned. “Can you blame her?”
The brothers laughed.
“The rotation plan was my idiot idea.” Color rushed into Will’s cheeks, clearly not proud of it. “It took me awhile to figure out she needed more than a roof over her head, three squares, and an education. She needed—”
“Deserved,” Brodie said.
Will looked chastised. “She deserves a dad. A family. And, since I was first in the rotation, I lucked out.”
“Lucked out?” Even though he stopped himself from saying, But you gave up your life for her, he could tell from the way Will’s gaze sharpened, that he’d heard it. Which meant he had to clarify. “You guys were the rebels, you didn’t follow rules. Now, you’re stuck…” He cringed. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean.” Will nodded. “I used to see commitment as a burden, too. I get it. But think about it. The only purpose I had before I met my girls was winning the next competition, snagging a gold medal. My life had spikes of happiness, but the in-between times? I spent a lot of time alone.” He looked away. “I remember going out for a run late one night, stopping at the Ridge, and looking out over the valley. And I thought, Is this it? Is this all there is?”
Beckett went rigid. He’d had that thought countless times himself, but he’d always chased it away with another adventure. Over the years, though, his friends had married, had kids, leaving it harder and harder for him to find people to join him.
A chill skittered across his kin.
Was that what Willow was? Someone to join him on his travels so he wasn’t so alone?
Yes.
Hardcore yes.
“Ruby and Delilah…they’re my purpose. Winning a gold medal doesn’t compare to reading a book to Ruby before bed, to sleeping beside Delilah every night. It doesn’t come close to how it feels when Ruby’s crying about something, and I get to help her work it out. Or when Delilah and I are arguing, and it feels like there’s no way to resolve whatever the issue is, but we love each other enough to fight through to the end, to a solution that works for both of us.”
This conversation was a hundred times deeper than anything he and Will had ever had before, and it made him aware of how he’d skimmed over life, never wanting to dig in.
“When you compare living to win a medal versus living to make the world a safe and beautiful place for my family?” Will shook his head. No comparison. “I am one hundred percent responsible for guiding Ruby into becoming a competent, stable adult, and there’s no purpose on this earth I’m more honored to have.”
The room went dead quiet, the only sound the quiet murmuring of female voices from next door.
“Well, shit, man.” Fin got up and swung around his desk. “That was beautiful, big brother.”
Will stood up and the brothers hugged.
An outsider, Beckett watched them, his heart pounding, his blood thrashing in his ears. “Posie’s mine.” He blurted it out so awkwardly, all three guys went rigid. “I’m not supposed to say anything.” But he had to talk to somebody, and he knew he could trust these guys.
They stood there, watching him, waiting for him to say more.
“I just found out.” He looked to Brodie. “I walked in the door to meet with Diane and the chocolate lady, and there she was. The woman I’d met in Vegas six years ago. We had…one night.” One incredible, unforgettable night. “I never thought I’d see her again.”
Fin blew out a breath. “Damn.”
Going weak, Beckett sat on the edge of the desk. “I was supposed to be in Thailand the next day, but I couldn’t go.” He looked at them helplessly. “There was no way I could get on that plane. So, I’m here, trying to figure out what to do. How can I fit her into my life?” The guys all gave him identical frowns. The one thing about the Bowies, they were a loyal family. Which meant they didn’t understand how he wouldn’t drop everything and become a dad. “I never wanted kids. Never wanted to be married. It’s…it’s not for me.”
“Our dad liked to say it’s easy to be a good man in a good situation. But the real test of character comes when we’re in a tough one.” Will faced him squarely. “What kind of man do you want to be?”
“The kind that has no kids.” He said it with a laugh, but he winced because not only did it sound awful, but he didn’t mean it.
“If that’s how you feel, then you should leave now,” Brodie said. “Go to Thailand, or whatever’s next on your itinerary, and let Coco and Posie get on with it.”
“It’s gonna suck,” Fin said, “If they get used to you being around, and then you take off.”
“But my job has me on the road—”
“You travel a lot. We’re real clear on that.” Will eyed him with his formidable, hard-jawed expression.
He resorted to humor by pointing at Will’s face. “I’ll bet that’s how your dad got you to clean your roo
ms and stop wrestling in the living room.”
“It is,” Fin said. “That’s exactly how he looked at us.”
“Made us shit our pants,” Brodie said.
“I’m sure.” But he needed to talk this through. “Look, I’ve thought about leaving. I probably should. I know I can’t just send postcards from the road, but I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt them, but I can’t leave.”
“You said you’ve got a friend covering for you this summer?” Brodie said.
“Right now, it’s Willow.”
“Can she buy out your share in the business?” Fin asked.
“I’m not giving it up. That’s not going to happen. It’s taken me six years to get this app launched, and it’s finally starting to take off. I’m not walking away. I shouldn’t have to give up my career. There has to be some kind of compromise. I’m just not seeing it right now.”
All three stared at him, and he grew too warm, uncomfortable, like someone had starched his clothes. “You think I’m an asshole. Maybe I am. But what am I supposed to do? Move to Calamity, buy a house…wear a suit and go to my job at the bank?”
Will shook his head. “Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do—”
“Yes, he is.” Brodie and Fin spoke in unison, cracking themselves up.
“Because…” Cutting them off, Will gave them withering looks. “You already know what to do. It’s why you’re still here. You’re a father. And if you leave now, you’ll become the kind of dad that shows up once a year on her birthday, if she’s lucky and it doesn’t interfere with your plans. Distance is going to kill the connection you’re building.”
“You’re telling me I have to give up my livelihood. That’s what you’re saying. But I worked my ass off for this. I’m not walking away.”
“Let me ask you something.” Will tipped his chin. “You go back on the road, and then a year from now—or two…five—how’re you going to feel knowing you’ve got a daughter out here, living her life, growing up without you?”
“Like shit. But I’m not exactly father material.”
“Like I was?” Will said. “Because trust me when I tell you, I was awful. I treated Ruby like I was her coach.”
“Hang on,” Fin said. “What’s that mean, you’re not ‘father material’?”
“My family’s a mess. I haven’t talked to my mom in seventeen years, my dad was barely around…I basically grew up in boarding school. What the fuck do I know about family? About kids?” He was getting all worked up, because the more he thought about it, the clearer it was he had no business being Posie’s father.
“Does it matter whether you know how to be a dad?” Brodie asked. “When you already are one?”
The room went silent.
There was only one answer to that question. “No.”
This is why everyone likes the Bowie brothers. They might keep to themselves, but people admired their loyalty, their closeness. They were smart, honest, and real. They cared.
And no one was judging him or calling him an asshole.
They were letting him get where he needed to be on his own, and he appreciated that more than he could say. “I’m not going to bail on her. I’m here to figure it all out. But I can’t give up my business.”
“Wheel?” Ruby called. A moment later, she appeared in the doorway, a streak of yellow highlighter across her cheek. “Maisy has cookies, and I want one. She says I have to ask you, but I telled her I don’t have to ask you ‘cause I’m hongry. So, I’m going to have a cookie. She says I have to tell you.”
“Thanks for letting me know, sweet pea. Enjoy that one cookie.”
The woman in the office next door chuckled. “Loud and clear, Will. Loud and clear.”
Will got up. “Okay, I’ve got to get my girl home. It’s time for lunch.” He shook Beckett’s hand. “I’ve been there. I had the same doubts and worries.” He broke into a big grin that transformed his rugged features. “And look at me now. It all works out. You don’t have to make all the big decisions today. You’ve got time.”
When he reached the door, Will turned back around. “Also, don’t be a dick. She’s your daughter. Make the right choices.”
Willow fucked up.
No, I did. I passed my job off to her.
Not cool.
She’d crapped out on the experience. She’d walked across the fourteen-hundred-foot SkyBridge in Sochi, Russia, but she hadn’t done the six-hundred-eighty-foot bungee jump or the swing.
And that’s the content my followers expected. Not to mention, the experience he’d arranged with his contact at the Federal Agency for Tourism. His partners had reamed him out for letting “Willow the fuckin’ wanderer represent our brand.”
Fuck. She’d jumped with him before…just never from that height.
But he got it. Walking across a bridge didn’t excite their demographic—thrill seekers.
He couldn’t argue with his partners. He could only find a solution. And he had.
It’s a good one. Now, he just had to hope they signed off on it.
Here goes. At the scheduled time, he hit the call button.
“Chris here.”
“Dave.”
“Hey, guys. Okay, so I’ve talked to Willow.”
“How’d she take it?” Chris said.
He sighed. “Not well. She didn’t appreciate being ‘fired’ from a job she’d only done as a favor to me.”
“Then, she shouldn’t have taken it,” Chris said.
“The problem is bigger than her not jumping,” Dave said. “It’s the fact that we lost everyone who checked us out at that moment. They’re not coming back. They’ve dismissed us. We’re too lightweight for them.”
“I’m not going to argue with you.” She had done damage, posting the kind of content she’d put on her own page. “But it’s only one screw-up, and I’ve got—”
“It’s not just ‘one screw-up,’” Chris said. “We’ve been promoting SkyBridge for a while. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime trip for some people. And our subscribers have their wallets out, they’re ready to book a flight to Russia. When we show a pretty woman taking selfies on it instead, it kills our brand. They take their credit cards to another app and don’t come back.”
He knew that. Fuck. Get to the point. “You’re right. And that’s why this experience with Willow crystallized everything for me. Look, my situation’s changed. I can’t travel three hundred days a year.”
His partners went quiet—not a good sign. He needed to get his plan out, reassure them. “I’m still going to travel, but I’m hiring someone to be my pinch hitter. You guys know Jimmy, right?”
“Of course,” Chris said. “Good guy.”
“Jimmy Wolfe, the snowboarder?” Dave asked. “Isn’t he still competing?”
“Yeah, he is. Which is why it works out well for me because he’s not looking to do this full-time.” Especially good since he doesn’t compete in the summer. “He can cover me all the way up to September. And he’s a mad man. He’ll do anything.” Unlike Willow. Not that he blamed her. “I’ll still handle the relationships and source the activities, of course, so it should be smooth sailing from here on in.”
“Look, we get that you’re in a bind,” Dave said. “But, man, this is…it’s all I have. I put everything in it. I sold my mom’s house, you know?”
He did know, and he’d warned him against it. Beckett had used some of his savings from endorsements and wins. He would never have moved his parent out of the family home to a condo.
Shit. If they didn’t agree to his plan, they had the right to buy him out of his share. “Guys, I’m not going to fail. You know what this business means to me.”
“Yeah, we do,” Chris said. “Just don’t make us do something none of us wants to see happen.”
He didn’t need the reminder that, through nonperformance, he could forfeit the rights to his own company. “Not going to happen.”
“Okay, we’ll give Jimmy a shot,” Dave said. “Bu
t you’ve got to stay on top of him.”
“I absolutely will.” Relief slammed him. He’d found a way to balance the two things that meant the most to him.
Everything will work out.
Beckett paced to the window, holding the phone to his chest, waiting for his dad to answer. He lifted the curtain, looking out at the neatly mown lawn. How did Coco do it? Not only did she keep the house from being a total disaster, as Posie tore from one activity to another, acting like each thing she did was more exciting than the next, but she ran a successful business, and she always gave Posie her full attention.
Made him feel like an asshole for making such a big deal about his career, as if he couldn’t handle more than one thing at a time. Coco multitasked like a boss.
“Beckett?” His dad sounded rushed.
“Hey, Dad. You all right?”
“Storm knocked down my Copper Beech. Just planted the damn thing two years ago. Anyhow, Marcia saw your name on the screen and ran out to get me. She knows I don’t want to miss your rare calls.”
“Ha. I call.” It was the first time it bothered him that Marcia didn’t feel comfortable enough to answer when she saw Beckett’s name on the screen.
That’s not on Marcia. That’s on me.
Because, in all honesty, what’ve I done to get to know her?
“Well, this is the second call in two weeks, so we figured it must be important.”
He let the curtain fall. “Yeah. It is.” But first… “How’s Marcia?”
“She’s good.” His dad sounded hesitant. Like, why are you asking?
Which was fair. He’d never asked about her before. Pacing across the small living area, he glanced at the rocks lined up on his dresser. Posie had painted them for him. Picking one up, he held the light weight in his palm, rubbed a thumb over the smooth surface. “I’ve got a situation.” He cringed, remembering Coco’s reaction when Willow had referred to Posie that way. “First, Willow and I broke up.”
“Okay. You don’t sound too choked up about it.”
“Well, that’s because I led with the smaller situation.”
After a beat, his dad asked, “What’s going on?”