by Erika Kelly
He pocketed his phone and came into the kitchen. In black leggings and a hot pink T-shirt, Coco spun around. He caught her around the waist and yanked her towards him. Watching, Posie hurled herself at him. Laughing, she lifted her arms, and he scooped her up, hitching her onto his hip.
This moment—the three of them connected, dancing in the sunny kitchen on a warm July day—was perfect.
He’d never felt so full. So complete.
Impulsively, he kissed Coco on the mouth. Emotion spiked, making his heart race. Posie’s hand tightened around his neck, the three of them moving closer towards each other, until they stopped dancing, and just stood in the kitchen, barely aware of the change in rhythm when a new song came on.
No one said a word, and no one moved a muscle. Their scents merged—baby shampoo and Coco’s subtle mix of vanilla and something floral—and he swore this moment would be imprinted on him for the rest of his life.
Sighing, Posie patted the back of his neck. “I love you, Beckett.”
His heart stopped beating. Time came to a screeching halt.
Her words hung in the air, heavy as a rain cloud ready to break.
“I wish you could stay here forever.”
Thunder clapped inside his chest, and hot, sticky emotion rained over him. His limbs shook, his knees wobbled. He swallowed.
And then he looked at his daughter and said, “I love you, too, Posie.” So damn much. It shouldn’t hurt to say those words. It should be a relief, right?
Except they seemed to tear through his flesh like a splinter dug out of a wound. They echoed in his mind, the sound waves merging with an ancient memory of when he’d said the same words to Ari.
His memories crashed into reality.
God, he’d loved Ari. With all his heart.
And he knew, standing there in the kitchen, with this perfect little girl in his arms, that he hadn’t loved a single soul since she’d died.
Until now.
Before he could check them, tears erupted, spilled over, and he tucked his face into her neck. Coco hugged him tighter, lowering her cheek to his shoulder.
They stayed like that, awash in love, warmth, family.
The most perfect moment in his life.
And right then Beckett knew his priorities had shifted irrevocably.
Which meant he finally had his answer.
Posie was quiet on the ride home from school. Her dolls sat neglected on the seat beside her.
As soon as they walked into the house, she handed off her backpack to Beckett and hurried away.
He and Coco stood watching her. Normally, she’d dig through it and hand them permission slips, art work, and her lunch box.
As Beckett hung the strap over the peg, Coco started moving. “I better go talk to her.”
But he couldn’t help wondering if it had to do with Jessie, the fairy killer. “Can I?”
She stopped, held his gaze, and seemed to wrestle with her answer. She took a calming breath. “Of course. Yes.”
Hurrying across the kitchen, he found Posie heading up the stairs. “I’m going to take Ollie on a walk. Want to come with me?”
She shook her head and continued up.
He watched her go, noticing the way she clutched the back of her fairy dress. “Posie?”
She reached for the banister before turning around to look at him. When she released her hold on the fabric, he saw the top layer of tulle was torn and a couple of the pale pink ribbons were missing.
“How are things going with Jessie?”
She looked away, her hand immediately going to the back of her dress. “He’s mean. I don’t like him.”
“Has he bothered you?”
She gave him a yearning look, and he hoped like hell she’d confide in him. He was relieved when she said, “I was flying today, and he grabbed me and tore my dress.” She tipped her chin. “I cried.” She sounded ashamed, and it enraged him.
Bounding up the stairs, he cupped her face with both of his hands “You can cry. He upset you and ripped your dress, you can absolutely cry.”
Big, fat tears spilled down her cheek, and she gazed up at him with a wounded expression. “It’s my favorite dress. Ethan gave it to me, and he’s gone now, and it’s a real fairy dress.”
“What’s going on?” Coco stood at the bottom of the stairs, wiping her hands on a towel. She kept her voice calm, but Beckett had come to know her well enough to know she was restraining her anger.
Picking up his daughter, he carried her over to the couch, perching her on his lap.
Coco sat close beside them, smoothing the hair off Posie’s forehead. “What happened, sweetheart?”
Posie looked at Beckett, and he hoped she saw his encouragement.
Finally, his little girl broke down. “Jessie’s so mean, Mommy. He tore my dress, and this is my favorite, and he broke the special bracelets Beckett gave me, and now I can never get them again.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”
It was killing him. Jesus, he wanted to grab his sword and fight off the entire world for his little girl.
“Well, the good news is that we bought all that material and ribbons so we could make new bracelets for you and your friends.” Coco got up. “Which means I can fix your dress. I’ll be right back. I’m going to get my sewing box.” Before leaving the room, she gave him a sharp look over their daughter’s head.
He gave a terse nod. Enough.
Time to take action.
Chapter Seventeen
Stopped at a traffic light, Coco waited for Beckett to finish typing furiously on his phone, before she asked, “Is everything all right?”
His anger leaked out as though she’d pricked him with a pin, and he gave a defeated sigh. “My partners are talking about kicking me out.”
What? “It’s your app. I thought you invited them to work with you.”
“I did, but we’re equal partners. I get it.”
“Just because Willow didn’t jump off a bridge? I thought your friend Jimmy was doing a good job.” The car behind her honked, and she quickly hit the accelerator, driving across the intersection.
“For the first six months, we saw ridiculous growth, but it started to flatten as soon as I stopped traveling.”
“Well, maybe the novelty wore off. Maybe, instead of firing you, you need to come up with something new, a fresh idea. Maybe you guys need to market to a new audience.”
He gave her a smile. “I like the way you think. I told them instead of booting my ass out, we need to hire more people to cover more events. More content, but you’re right. We need to hire someone to market the app.”
“Well, one morning I’ll take you to the diner, and you can meet the Cooters. They’re a group of retirees who meet there every day, and let me tell you, you won’t believe the careers these people have had. I can almost guarantee we’ll find a marketing whiz.”
“I like that.”
“In any event, you leave for France next week, so it’ll be business as usual.”
“It’s never going to be business as usual. Everything’s changed.”
Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel, as she turned down Hangman’s Lane. “What does that mean?” Dammit. Her heart was pounding. His answer meant everything.
Please don’t bail. Please, please, please don’t bail on your daughter.
Don’t bail on me.
“I’m thinking about buying a house here.”
Energy flooded her system, making her jittery.
Why am I getting so worked up over this? Even if he sold his shares and bought a house here tomorrow, it still wouldn’t last. He’d grow restless, and then he’d leave.
That’s his nature.
And yet…she pressed for more. “Buying a house and…?”
He rubbed his scruff, staring out the window, his gaze unfocused. “If this is my home base, then I’d come here after every trip. I’d make the trips shorter. Just until we’ve sold the app, and then I’d live here
full-time. Maybe coach.” He didn’t sound excited about that prospect.
“Maybe a lawyer could take a look at the contract?”
“No, I know what it says. We very deliberately wrote it this way. I foresaw this exact situation—only I figured it would happen to one of them. They’d get married, have a kid, the wife would start making demands—” He cut her a look. “Legitimately.”
“Don’t include me in that. I’m not a wife, nor would I ever make demands. I don’t need you to stay.” Ugh. Yes, I hear myself. “I mean, you’re welcome to stay. Obviously. Posie already told you that, but we’d never give you an ultimatum. We understand this is your job. Your career. You have to earn a living.”
“I want to stay.” The vulnerability in his tone plucked a chord in her soul.
And shook the walls until they collapsed. “I want you to stay, too.” At the stop sign, she reached for him, and they clasped hands tightly. “So much. And that might be the hardest thing I’ve ever said. Because, to tell you the truth, there’s a huge part of me that knows my world can’t compare to running with the bulls and jumping off a cliff in a wingsuit. That there’s no comparison. Why would you ever choose me and Posie over your exciting, wild life?”
Wrapping a hand around her neck, he pulled her close and kissed her mouth. “Because I’m crazy about you. And the three-minute thrill of flying off a cliff’s got nothing on the way I feel just sitting in a car, talking to you. You get that, right?”
“I’m starting to.” She wanted to climb onto his lap and thank him for the kindest words ever spoken to her, but they had an appointment, and they couldn’t be late. After sewing the torn dress, Coco had called the school and spoken to Posie’s teacher, who’d agreed to meet with them while the kids were in art.
She pulled away, checked in both directions, and continued the final block to Posie’s school. “So, what will you do?”
“I pitched the job to a friend of mine, Shep, and he’s down to do it. But I really like your suggestion about marketing, so I’ll get on that, too. I think…I’m not ready to leave you—not yet—so I’m going to get Jimmy to cover France for me.”
What is happening right now? It took everything she had to keep her emotions in check. “I thought everyone needs to be a gold medalist?”
“He’s got one. But, so they can’t get me for nonperformance…” He broke into a breathtaking smile. “I’m going to cover Calamity.”
“I like the way you think.” Her spirits soared. “Given the terrain, we’ve obviously got plenty of extreme adventures here. Not just heli skiing, but we’ve got a V-plus white water rafting trip that’ll blow your mind. And, no, I haven’t done it. But you can bet the Bowies have.”
“I’ll talk to them when I get to work today.”
“Was it your plan to do every single event on the globe by yourself?” She slowed as she neared the school and eased her tires over the speed bump. “That could fill every day of your calendar for the rest of your life.”
“Pretty much, yeah.” He lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss on the back of hers. “That was before I had something else in my life.”
“Something, huh?” She cracked a sarcastic grin. “Well, that’s better than nothing.”
“It’s better than anything.”
Joy exploded in her chest, as she turned into the parking lot. Better than anything. God, no one had ever made her feel this way. He was the first person to ever make her feel exceptional just for being who she was.
Could she trust that it would last? That he could actually stay here?
Or were they just words issued in the heat of the moment? This is all new to him. He could just be getting carried away.
And that’s an answer only time could give.
She found a spot, killed the engine, and reached for her purse.
“Wait.” He caught her wrist. “From the minute I retired, I’ve blown off rules and restrictions. I’ve lived free as a bird.”
“I know. And I don’t want you to feel trapped by us. I never want you to resent us. I’m not asking for anything from you.”
“That’s what I’m getting to. That’s my point. I don’t feel ‘trapped.’ I thought freedom meant no ties, but loving Posie, loving you, is the greatest sense of freedom I’ve ever felt.”
Loving me?
Did he just say he loves me?
“I guess…it wasn’t training that made me feel trapped. It’s fear.”
Holy cow. What a revelation. God, she admired this man. He faced such hard truths about himself.
“You know what I realized last night after turning into a sap just from dancing with my girls? I haven’t loved a single person since Ari died. Not one. Until you. I love you, Coco.”
She opened her mouth to say it back, but fear caught love from behind and slammed it to the ground.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He reached for a lock of her hair and rubbed it between two fingers. “I felt it the first time I saw you in Vegas, this pull, this…recognition. And, through all these years, you’ve lived inside me like this hot, little piece of coal. Every now and then I’d feel it, and it’d make me think about you, and I’d get this tug. Like, her. That one.”
She couldn’t speak through the jumble of emotions hitting her all at once.
“Now, after spending the summer with you, I get it. There’s no one like you. There never will be. I’m programmed for you. I’m trying to hold onto my business, but the idea of walking away from you and Posie…it’s not going to happen. We’ll figure it out, I promise. I will travel, that’s my job, but I’m going to hire other people so I won’t be away nearly as much. And I’m going to talk to you first. Ask what Posie has coming up. Because her recitals and seeing her get ready for the prom…all of that comes before my job.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying it. But I mean it. I missed five years, and I don’t want to miss a minute more.”
She wanted to trust him—with everything in her—she did. But…it was just so damn hard for her to do. “We need to get in there.”
Oh, dammit. His expression. He’d just opened his heart to her, and she shut him down like it hadn’t meant anything to her.
I’m scared.
I’m just so scared of believing him.
“She’s waiting for us.”
As they headed into the one-story building, he reached for her hand. She could see it in his eyes, Hey, I’m here. We’re in this together. So, she slowed down.
He’s not the only one who’s been ruled by fears. I have, too.
If she wanted to ensure he didn’t stay, holding herself back emotionally would absolutely do it.
This is what I do to keep myself safe.
He’d cut himself open for her, and if she didn’t do the same, these roots he was planting would never take hold.
He pulled the door open, letting her pass through. She turned into the office and smiled at the school secretary. “Morning, Gina.” She wrote down their information in the guest log. “We’ve got an appointment to see Mrs. Thompson.” She scribbled their names on badges, ripped the backing of his, and slapped it on his chest.
He grabbed her hand before she could pull away.
She gazed up at him. “Nice reflexes.”
He grinned, and her heart flipped over. There was nothing on this earth as powerful as Beckett O’Neill’s smile. Like the best song, it held the power to change her mood.
She smoothed her badge on and turned to go. “Thanks, Gina. Have a great day.”
They walked quietly down the hall. As they passed each open door, they could hear children chattering, music playing, or the gentle voice of a teacher.
Be brave.
This man’s worth it.
Outside Posie’s classroom, she touched his arm. “Giving you my heart is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But I don’t want you to think I’m not in it with you. I am.” She
needed to find the right words. This moment felt big. Probably the biggest of all. “It’s true that I don’t need you to help with bills or take out the trash, although I could use some help getting Posie to wear pants every now and then. But what I feel for you…I’ve never felt this for anyone before. And I’m terrified of how much I need to see you walk in the door every morning. I’m scared of how badly I need you to touch me and kiss me. My heart needs you, and that’s the scariest thing of all.”
He leaned in to press a soft kiss to her mouth. “I won’t take your gift lightly. I promise to take care of your heart.” He stepped back and gave a chin nod to the door. Is this it?
She nodded. Opening it, they walked in to find the teacher in a closet. “Mrs. Thompson?”
The woman turned around, carrying a plastic box of crayons. “Oh, hey. Come in, come in.” As she headed over, she extended her hand to Beckett. “Hello, I’m Carol Thompson.”
“Beckett O’Neill.” He gave her a smile and a firm shake.
“He’s…” In her moment of hesitation, she could see Beckett tense up. “He’s the one Posie’s been confiding in.”
As the teacher went to sit down at a small table, Beckett cut Coco a look. What was that? But it wasn’t like she’d tell the teacher before revealing it to Posie.
“Please, sit down.” Mrs. Thompson gestured to the other chairs. “Tell me what concerns you.”
Coco dropped into a chair made for short, little legs. “You know about Posie’s obsession with fairies.” She was ready to launch into the long, convoluted story.
But Beckett jumped right in. “You’ve got a kid named Jessie, who’s bullying her about it.”
The teacher’s eyes flared at the accusation, so Coco gave some history. “I saw a hint of it at Posie’s birthday party several weeks ago, when he blew out the candles on her cake. It wasn’t a big deal, so I didn’t think much of it.”
“But Posie doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s been doing to her, so she’s kept it all to herself.” Beckett sounded tough, firm. “She told me he makes fun of her, calls her ‘stupid’ and tells her fairies aren’t real. Which is fine. Kids do that. But he chased her and tore the ribbons off her fairy bracelets.”