by Nyla Ditson
“Hey, Celeste, whatcha up to?” Sam asked, stopping beside my chair. His brown eyes wandered to Sebastian.
I almost blurted out, “You can see him?” but caught myself. For some reason I thought Sebastian would be invisible to everyone but me. I bit my lip, disappointed by this revelation. The idea of having a secret imaginary friend was oddly thrilling. “I decided to skip my run and check out a few books,” I told Sam, shrugging. To my dismay, he didn`t look at me but the book in front of me.
“Angels?” he asked, curious.
I flipped the book over so the front words were hidden. “Yeah, I’m… I need it for school.”
Sam frowned. “We’re in all the same classes, Celeste. I don’t remember any angel assignments.”
Geez, why can’t he just let the matter drop? I should’ve said someone left the stupid book on the table and it wasn’t mine. “Umm, it’s for that English poem contest Profession Higgins told us about, before Christmas break.” Who knew having the same schedule at the University of British Columbia could be so frustrating? At least I thought of a quick explanation. Odd, since sometimes I’m not so quick to think of things. Whatever, score for me.
My victory smirk disappeared when I saw Sebastian smirking as well. Curious, I decided to try something.
Something telepathic.
Did you do that? Can you put ideas into my thoughts? I silently asked, turning away from Sam to face Sebastian. My brain hurt from the intense concentration. But I had to know.
When Sebastian gave a slight nod of his chin, I gasped. He could read my thoughts and put thoughts in my brain? That was beyond freaky.
“The freakiest,” I heard Sebastian mutter under his breath. For a split second, I wondered how many times he’d pretended to be a human to help someone.
I got my answer when he held up one finger. Did that mean I was the first one? Or did it mean he’d only done this once before me? I raised an eyebrow and waited for an answer but Sebastian ignored me, his gaze fixed on Sam.
He looked disgusted.
“So…” Sam began, giving Sebastian a curious look. “What kind of poem are you writing for the contest? One about angels I take it?” Sam turned away from Sebastian to look at me.
“Yes… a sonnet.”
“Cool.”
Can you read Sam’s thoughts too? Sebastian gave a firm shake of his head, his furious eyes never leaving Sam’s face.
“Sebastian!” I didn’t mean for it to come out a yell and it earned me a stern look from the librarian restacking a shelf. At least I had his attention now. I gestured to Sam. “This is my friend Sam. We’ve known each other since Kindergarten.” He’s a really nice guy too, so stop being all psycho—stalker towards him, I added silently.
Sam held out his hand across the table. “Nice to meet you,” he said.
Sebastian stared at the hand, looking distracted. I wanted to scoff. Stuck up much?
Confused and looking a bit offended, Sam retracted his hand. He shoved it in the pocket of his jacket. His eyes flickered to me and then back to Sebastian. “How do you guys know each other?”
Sebastian spoke up for the first time. “I’m her career adviser.”
“You are?” Sam and I asked at the same time.
Sam shot me a strange look and I forced out a laugh, and shrugged. “Jinx.”
Sebastian wasted no time unjinxing him. “Sam, Sam, Sam.” He pointed to the library entrance. “Now if you don’t mind, we have a lot to do.”
Sam hesitated, as if wondering if he should leave me alone with such a snob. I was half wondering the same thing. Sebastian was comforting the first night, annoying this morning, and now downright rude. I didn’t appreciate him degrading one of my oldest friends, either. But the unquenchable curiosity inside of me still didn’t have nearly enough answers so I decided to stay. “I’ll meet you at eight at the Express on Monday, Sam.”
He nodded. We always meet at the West Coast Express transit pickup and ride into Vancouver together to the University. “Okay,” Sam said remaining where he was. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Sebastian but continued to speak to me. “If you need anything, Celeste, you know my number.”
“Bye, Sam,” I stood and gently pushed him towards the door.
Once he was gone, I spun around and glared at Sebastian. “What’s your problem?” I demanded.
“I can’t read your mind.”
“What are you talking about?”
Looking bored, Sebastian swung his gorgeous eyes towards mine. “In your thoughts you keep referring to me as being able to read your thoughts. God enables me to access them and only certain ones.” He sighed. “Though I’m not quite sure why He’s allowing me to constantly hear your perspective on my appearance.”
I threw up my hands, horrified to be reminded that he knew I thought he was beyond dreamy. Allowing my anger to mask my mortification I slammed myself back on to the plastic seat. “You’re side-stepping the issue,” I told him hotly and then locked my jaw. How could you be so rude? I thought angels were supposed to be nice. But you’re just annoying and seriously getting on my nerves. I’m honestly thinking that figuring you out wasn’t worth sticking around. I should’ve just downed an entire bottle of Tylenol the minute you and Kalan left my apartment . . .
“Celeste, don’t be ridiculous.”
I’m not the one being ridiculous, you are. Why do you have to be so rude to Sam? Are you racist or something?
“His ethnicity has nothing to do with my distaste for the boy.” Sebastian reached for the black fleece behind his chair before standing. “And I’d prefer that we communicate out loud, Celeste.”
No. Not until you tell me why you don’t like Sam.
Sebastian finished zipping his fleece to his chin and then looked down at me icily. “Stay away from him, Celeste,” he warned.
Why?
“Just do it.”
“He’s my best friend, Sebastian!” I yelled, blowing at my neglected overgrown bangs, glaring at him. “And for some reason I just blew him off to be with you.”
“Celeste,” Sebastian’s face suddenly looked tired. His eyes lost some of their sparkle. “Please, I’m begging you to keep your distance from him.”
Fed up with his vagueness, I jumped up from my seat. I thought standing up would make me feel more in control of the situation but next to Sebastian’s six foot something frame I felt tiny. “Why?” I demanded through clenched teeth, discreetly standing on tippy toes.
“Just do it.” His gaze hardened as he stared down into my eyes. When he spoke again his answer sent shivers down my spine “If you don’t… you might die a horrible death.”
Chapter 4
“I need my privacy, okay?”
Oh, why did Sebastian have to look so sweet and concerned as we walked from the library to get coffee? It was easier to be angry when he looked at me like I was an entertaining toddler. I blinked and a stranded raindrop fell from my eyelash.
A slow smile came over his face. I’ll do my best, kid, but it’s not a given.
Seriously, get out of my head, Sebastian! And don’t call me kid.
I’m not happy that Sebastian has access to my thoughts. Granted, he claimed it’s not all my thoughts but it still made me feel transparent whenever I glanced his way as we finally sat across from each other at Starbucks.
“Would you look at something else?” I asked, combing my fingers through my tangled wet hair. For supposedly being so smart, this particular angel earned himself a big fat F when he told me he didn’t have an umbrella when we left the library. To my dismay, he’d also burst out laughing when I told him to just ask God to make one appear. It’s not like I was actually serious. I don’t believe in God. Or at least, I don’t think I do… that booming voice in the heavens has my belief system confused.
“I’m truly sorry about my reaction,” Sebastian apologized.
I stopped furiously finger-combing my hair and glared. “Okay, you can’t keep doing that. It would be illegal if everyone had that ability.”
His amused expression only intensified. “Whatever you say, Celeste.”
For a second I forgot about being miffed. The sound of my name on his lips rang in my ears like a celestial choir. The beautiful sound was pure and melodious.
“Very poetic,” Sebastian nodded, showing his approval.
Instantly my fury returned along with the sensation of soggy knit boots, chilled bones and an empty stomach. I shivered and would’ve jabbed a finger at Sebastian for emphasis but both my hands were now wrapped around the torso of my grey cardigan. “If you want me to cooperate with you then you have to do the same for me, Sebastian.”
“I’m listening.”
“As stated multiple times, I need a little privacy concerning my thoughts.”
When he remained silent I sighed and looked down. Noticing a square charcoal ring etched with a halo on Sebastian’s finger, I tried another approach, inspired by the reminder of his Master. “I bet there’s a reason God didn’t create people with billboard signs on their foreheads.” I gave Sebastian a cold look. “He probably wanted us to be safe from having others invade our thoughts if we didn’t want them to.”
Wordlessly Sebastian rose from the table. I watched him head to the line-up and then I sighed. This was not only one of the most fascinating and frustrating days of my life but also the most uncomfortable. I felt like a drowned rat and probably looked like a raccoon thanks to my non-waterproof mascara. And the feel of my wet skinny jeans plastered to my thighs just felt wrong.
“Here,” Sebastian said, startling me when he returned, “it doesn’t take a mind reader to know you’re freezing. This hot chocolate should help with the shivering.” He also set a delicious looking thick slab of banana bread on a napkin in front of me. “But it’s the only way I knew you skipped breakfast today. The sound of your stomach growling is amplified to these angelic ears.”
Scowling, I reached for the bread. The fresh baking easily broke apart and the chocoholic in me mentally sighed when I popped a chunk in my mouth and discovered the hidden chocolate chips.
Sebastian watched me eat but didn’t comment. Calmly he unscrewed the lid of his Dasani water bottle and looked around, as if seeking out potential danger and then returned his gaze to me.
It was so weird, sitting in a perfectly normal coffee shop with a guy who, though he looked normal, for a Ken doll, was nowhere near to being human. But I guess if I was being honest with myself, Sebastian was acting like the majority of college-aged guys I know. Cocky, confident…
I swallowed a bite of the banana bread and my thoughts trailed off when I looked down to realize I’d eaten over half of it already.
A hand snaked out and tore a piece off. I looked up in time to see Sebastian swallow. “Had to see if it was as heavenly as you made it look,” he shrugged.
“Excuse me?”
“You gobbled it down like Moses’ people the first day they spotted manna,” he said. Sebastian gave me a look of mock disappointment. “I’m surprised at you, Celeste. I thought a health nut like you would know better than to skip the most important meal of the day. Don’t you know missing it is like expecting a car to run without fuel?”
I opened the flap on the lid of my hot chocolate. After blowing over the hot liquid inside, I gave him an annoyed look. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” I replied. “Skip breakfast and you’ll gorge on the first thing you set eyes on when hunger strikes.” I took a sip of my drink and winced when I burned my tongue. Setting the cup down, I folded the arms of my damp cardigan on the table. “It’s your fault, actually.”
“That you missed breakfast?” he asked.
Maybe it would be useful sometimes to be in the presence of a mind reader. I’d never have to explain myself since Sebastian probably saw how the dots joined and connected in my mind logically. I wrapped my palms around my hot chocolate, savouring the heat radiating off it into my cold hands. “If I wasn’t so curious about you I wouldn’t have messed up my schedule to research…” I frowned, what was the right word? “your kind.”
“Ever heard of packing a lunch? Pretty sure breakfast could be handled that way too.”
“Yes, Einstein, I am aware of that. And I’ll have you know I pack my breakfast every day I go to the university gym in the morning. But I was anxious to see if they had that book and forgot today,” I explained. Either that or I completely forgot about my toast because I was too busy sinking into a pit of darkness on the kitchen floor.
Sebastian gave me a pitying look. “You should be more organized.”
I almost choked on my own breath at his attempt to make me laugh. No one, and I mean no one, has ever said those five words to me before. My older brother calls me the “Human Day Planner” and my mom once introduced me as the child who “Single-handedly supports the world’s highlighter and recipe card industries.”
“I knew you’d get a kick out of that comment,” Sebastian said as he leaned back in his seat. A moment later his impossibly still bright white shoes, despite the mud puddles we’d trampled through in the parking lot, appeared on the top of the chair beside me.
I looked at them, trying to detect the slightest trace of imperfection. Finding none, I faced Sebastian, another object of perfection in my midst. Sebastian spoke as I took another bite of banana bread. “Well, it makes sense doesn’t it? I was created by the only perfect Being to ever walk earth.”
I thought we discussed this. My thoughts are private. As in, keep out of them you snoopy angel!
When the corner of Sebastian’s mouth curved up, I knew he’d heard me loud and clear.
At least when I’m around you I don’t have to worry about talking with my mouth full, I added, still very much annoyed.
Sebastian smiled and tilted his head back to guzzle his water. When he finished he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “Just so you know, I’m not meaning to abuse my privileges. But this is just as fascinating for me as it is for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve only done this once before and God didn’t allow me to know that person’s thoughts nearly as much as He does for you.”
I squinted at him from across the table. “Who was she?”
For the first time since I’d met him, other than when neither of those doors would open in the hallway, Sebastian looked surprised. “What makes you think it was another female I was assigned to?”
“I dunno,” I shrugged, aware his eyes weren’t as expressive or open now. “Maybe because you’re a guy and it would be weird for another dude to have a male guardian angel.”
“But I could’ve come in the form of a female for my last assignment.” Sebastian laughed and my body tingled with pleasure hearing the angelic sound. “Angels have even roamed earth in the form of cats and dogs.”
I’m the Queen of subject changing. So nice try but no cigar, buddy. I learned forward and I knew my eyes were sparkling with curiosity. “What happened on that assignment? What was the girl like? What’d you have to protect her from?”
Sebastian’s easy smile vanished and his eyes clouded over, blocking me out. “Nothing.”
“God sent you to protect someone for no reason?”
“Celeste, drop it.”
“Come on, I’m curious!” I begged.
“You are not ready to hear Chanah`s story. So it does not concern you,” he said.
To say it killed me not to press further was a massive understatement. At least I’d gotten a name… but from the “stay out of it” vibe Sebastian was giving off and the scary way his beautiful eyes had turned a murky bluish-black, I knew that’s all the information I was going to get.
/> For now.
There was something that I’d wanted to bring up during the entire conversation. But each time the thought filtered through my mind, Sebastian would squint his eyes at me and frown. This time I couldn’t resist.
“What gives you the impression that hanging around Sam could be… deadly?” I struggled saying the last word, using all my will power to shove away the images of my dad’s death. The blood… the lifeless look in his eyes…
I shuddered, feeling like I was back on the highway in the bitter cold all over again. When Sebastian didn’t answer, I look up to find him stroking his chin. “Well?” I asked, shaking my head, the images of my dad’s death mercifully fading. But not gone for good. No, they would always haunt me because a sick part of me wanted them to.
“Celeste,” my guardian angel looked at a loss. “Just… trust me, okay? I would explain but I am not to interfere with free will.” He muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “Even a demon’s free will.”
I let out a dull laugh, feeling hollow and exhausted inside from the zigzag pattern of my emotions today. “You think Sam is a demon?” I asked. “Umm, okay. You’re probably on to something,” I rolled my eyes, silently thinking, You have got to be kidding me.
“I did not make that conclusion, Celeste. Do not put words into my mouth.”
Feeling like I wanted to cry, I leaned forward in my chair and felt my eyes flash. My words were part snarl, part hiss, “Then what are you saying?”
He met my blazing face head on, unblinking. “That you need to trust me.”
After a two minute stare down that felt like an old western stand-off, Sebastian finally looked away. He sat back, crossing his arms across his broad chest. “I can’t say much else on the matter. But what I can tell you is that in the coming months you will have the answer to why I question your safety with Sam.” Again he leaned forward. “But for now, do as I say.”