by Nyla Ditson
I stopped twirling my fork through the melting ice cream on my plate. “I planned this supper?”
Mom’s perfect hostess smile faded. “On Friday you called me at work and suggested it.”
My forced laugh would’ve made a Hollywood film director pull his hair out. “Right, how could I forget?” I shrugged, stepping on Sebastian’s toes, grinding my ballet flats into his shoe like a bug. His face didn’t show a trace of pain but his eyes hinted of humour.
Grind away, Celeste, all it’s doing is wrecking your shoes.
I wanted to push back my chair and yell at Sebastian to stop freaking me out by jabbering inside my thoughts. The urge to ask my mom if she was sure the girl she’d spoke to sounded like me was even stronger. But I knew I couldn’t do either without appearing a lunatic.
A wave of heat, ten times stronger than what I’d felt at Stanley Park that morning, suddenly burned against my skin. I removed my cardigan and kicked my shoes off under the table. “Is it just me or…” my words died on my lips. I stared in horror at the sight across the table. Behind my mom and Nate was our fifth dinner guest. Knocking over my water glass, I lunged forward to grab Nate’s wrist before he turned to see what I was gawking at.
“What’s wrong with you?” Nate scowled, yanking his wrist from me and jumping up. “I don’t want your gross germs all over me.”
“Nate!” my mom’s voice was stern. “Don’t talk to your sister that way.” She pushed her chair back and I gasped as the wooden seat sliced through Kalan’s body like he was made of air.
“If you join the ranks of hell you could do that too,” he said icily. I shuddered and turned to see Kalan’s vile sneer, his body now behind me.
Stunned, I looked over to Mom and Nate, expecting to find them terrified. But Mom was calmly cleaning up the spilled water and Nate had sat back down to continue talking to Sebastian. It was almost like they…
“Watch this,” Kalan said as he reached over me and snatched a blueberry off Sebastian plate. A flash, similar to lightning streaking across a midnight sky, jolted through my vision.
“It’s okay, Celeste,” I heard Sebastian say, feeling smooth hands take my clammy ones. “He’s just showing off.”
Gradually, my sight returned and I heard Nate ask a question he’d voiced just seconds ago.
“This is how things would’ve looked to your brother if he’d been looking,” Kalan said, taking another berry from Sebastian’s plate. “It’s too bad, it’s most entertaining to watch humans question their sanity.”
I watched in tortured fascination as Kalan’s body dissolved but the blueberry continued to move through the air. A white light blinded me again and then I felt my stomach slam against the edge of table.
“Isn’t rewinding time a blast?” Kalan whispered in my ear. I coiled away from him and shook the dizziness from my eyes. The intense heat of his breath singed my earlobe. Sebastian held up his hand and immediately the room stopped spinning.
And then Nate and my mom stopped breathing.
“Mom!” I tried to stand but Sebastian held me down. “Let me go! They need my help!” I screamed at him, tugging to free myself from his concrete grip.
“They’re fine,” Sebastian explained as he stood, keeping a hand on my shoulder. “They’re just… paused.”
“They look paralyzed! I need to get them to a doctor!” I yelled.
Sebastian swiftly pulled my chair away from the table and leaned over me, cupping my face with his hands, repeating, “They. Are. Fine.” His blue-grey eyes, billows of angry smoke, flickered to Kalan behind me. “I know this is beyond human perception, but time has momentarily been stalled.”
My chest heaved up and down in hysteric convulsions and my voice was unattractively shrill. “You expect me to believe-”
“No,” Sebastian cut me off, placing a finger on my lips. “I don’t but just bear with me.”
I searched his eyes and the realization I found in them slowed the anxious feeling crawling through my chest. “Okay,” I heard myself whisper.
Knowing I’d just discovered I trusted him, Sebastian’s arms dropped to his sides and he stood.
“Kalan, kindly exit the Evans’ residence,” Sebastian crossed his arms, his previous politeness evaporating into a tangible revulsion. “Or I’ll escort you myself.”
Kalan laughed and it sounded just as bloodcurdling as the first time I’d heard it. “Just needed to make a memorable entrance to shake the girl up, show her a fraction of what she’s tangled in now.”
“Get out, Kalan,” Sebastian demanded.
When I braved a look over my shoulder, I saw Kalan was looking at me. His inky black eyes were mesmerizingly alluring and petrifying at the same time. I scrambled off my chair and backed up against Sebastian. Kalan laughed, “Yes, my job is done for the day.” His grin deepened, curling at the corners. “Didn’t know everyone’s assigned a guardian angel and a demon, did ya, little girl?” he asked and laughed at my horrified expression.
Then his shoes disappeared, like an unseen force was feeding on his body. Next, his torso burst into flames, sending me quivering behind Sebastian. Kalan’s face was the last body part to leave, fading from the outside in. The image of his lips saying, “Can’t wait for the next time we meet, Celeste,” was the last thing I saw.
When he was completely gone I turned and buried my face in Sebastian’s t-shirt. He held me tight and his lack of comforting words only made me cry harder.
Chapter 7
I pulled my covers to my chin and watched Sebastian sit on the edge of my bed. After he “unpaused” my family, we declined the invitation to play cards and left. Two hours later, one bubble bath and three increased degrees on the furnace’s temperature stat, I still couldn’t ward off the chill of seeing Kalan and hearing his parting threat.
“How did you stop time, Sebastian?” I asked quietly.
“The same way I do anything, through the power of the Almighty One.”
I rolled on my side away from him. The beige walls were more consoling than Sebastian’s answer. Shaken as I was, I wasn’t about to fall for this God rubbish just because life was getting scary.
“Look,” the breeze of calm in Sebastian’s voice made me squeeze my eyes shut. When we left my mom’s, he’d led me to my BMW parked in the driveway and opened the passenger door for me. He’d silently held out his hand and I’d dropped the keys into his palm. He didn’t say anything during the hour drive from Abbotsford back to Port Coquitlam. Instead, he’d turned on a soft jazz station. The next thing I knew, he was carrying me into my apartment.
“Celeste.”
Hearing the concern in Sebastian’s voice, I rolled over to face him. His eyes searched mine. “I know you don’t believe in God but He’s unquestionably real. But just believing in His existence won’t safeguard your soul.” Sebastian reached out to brush my bangs aside. The warmth of his brief touch instantly banished the cold in my bones. “Even demons like Kalan believe in God. I believe it’s written that they shudder at the mere thought of Him,” he added.
I pushed myself up and hugged my covered knees. “Is Kalan more powerful than you?”
“No.”
“Then why did you let him… drag me back in time like that?” I looked down. “It really scared me, Sebastian. I thought guardian angels were supposed to protect people from stuff like that.”
Warmth broke across my cheek and I looked up to find Sebastian’s hand pressed against my face. His touch was so light. I wouldn’t have noticed it if not for the pleasant heat.
“You needed to be aware of what the darkness is capable of,” he explained.
Feeling exhaustion wash over me, the remaining strands of my patience unravelled. “For once can you just speak in plain, dumbed down, English?”
Retracting his hand to his lap, Sebastian sighe
d. “You were too naïve, too disbelieving, of the powers of evil spirits. God saw it best that you not be ignorant but instead be well educated on the matter.”
“I still don’t unders…”
“And it’s not your job to. At least not fully,” Sebastian interjected. He stood up and immediately my bed felt icy cold. “Tonight you were given spiritual eyes, Celeste.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I snapped, feeling bitter as I lay back down and pulled a stuffed animal close. “Because it doesn’t, I still feel like crap. I don’t think having voodoo eyes is that great of a thing, if it causes me to cry.”
Knowing I had no clue what spiritual eyes were, Sebastian paused in the bedroom doorway and explained, “As Billy Graham once put it, spiritual eyes means you see not only a world filled with evil powers and spirits but also the powerful angels with drawn swords that are set for human’s personal defence.”
He looked into my soul, past the red rimmed eyes and straight into the terrified part of me. “I saw the trust in your eyes tonight, Celeste. Hold on to that.”
My body tingled with comforting heat and I suddenly felt sleepy, the events of the evening had been incredibly taxing.
“I am your guardian angel, Celeste,” Sebastian’s voice grew quiet and I felt my eyelids droop but I could still hear his hazy voice in the corridors of my mind. “My job is to protect and comfort you. And I promise I’ll do just that.”
“Promise… ?” I murmured, fighting off the sweet seduction of sleep.
“Promise.”
Sebastian’s firm reply made me smile and I snuggled into my covers, feeling safe and comforted that, at least for now, I was out of harm’s way.
I sunk into an uneasy sleep, one where a potent nightmare imposed into my enjoyable dream of flying over the totem pole in Stanley Park. Suddenly, the blue sky backdrop over the poles started to run, like a watery trail of paint down a canvas. Within seconds, the colours bled away to an unattractive dark grey. Nate’s face emerged from a swirling mist in the sky.
“Why did you have to be so selfish?” his face screamed at me, making me whimper in my sleep. “Why couldn’t you just miss your stupid morning classes?”
I shook my head from side to side but my brother’s misery remained clear in my mind. “Someday you’re going to kill someone!” Nate cried out in a tortured voice. “You did it once already, just look what you did to Dad!”
Black spots splattered down, like giant rain drops on the grey sky. Nate’s face quickly disappeared and was covered with speckles but his tormented cries still met my ears. “I just hope it’s you who dies next, Celeste. One death deserves another.”
I woke with a start; feeling cold and clammy all over. Despite the soaked sheets beneath me, I shivered. My bedroom door opened and I squinted in the dark at my roommate.
“Are you okay?” Malaya asked, rubbing her eyes. “I thought I heard you scream.”
I nodded, shoving my shaking hands under the covers. “I’m fine, you must have dreamt you heard a scream.”
“Mmm,” Malaya mumbled as she turned and staggered into the dark hallway back to her room.
I stared at the ceiling. Feeling my chest start to heave, I clamped both hands over my mouth. Then I gave way to silent screams, the loss of my dad assaulting me mercilessly, forbidding sleep and sanity for the rest of the night.
“He’s gonna die when he sees you in that wedding dress, Jill.”
I looked away from the woman on the phone and wondered how long this was going to take. I was supposed to be at the Express ten minutes ago. This Starbucks was usually quick but today, molasses would’ve won a foot race with the employees behind the counter.
“Oh my goodness! If that was me, I’d have died of embarrassment.”
The line inched forward and I snuck a look at a teen talking animatedly with her friend behind me. Was it just me or was everyone incorporating death in their conversations today?
“What can I get you?” A friendly looking African man asked me when I approached the counter.
“A small hot chocolate, without whipped cream.” I set my purse on the counter and yawned. “Better make that a medium. I’m gonna need all the caffeine I can get today.”
“Rough night?” the man asked, taking the cash I handed him.
“You could say that.”
“But chocolate makes everything better. My wife says the power of chocolate is so strong that even overdosing on it would make a fellow smile on his deathbed,” he joked, nodding towards the pickup counter.
I stared at him and the man’s laughter quickly faded. Snapping out of it, I stepped over to the side of the room to wait for my order.
Why does death have to be a reoccurring theme today? Wasn’t last night torture enough? I sat down at an empty table, raking my fingers through my knotted, windblown hair. I just want to go back to bed. I feel so awful. Looking down at my UBC grey hoodie and my sweats tucked into my black UGG boots, I winced. I not only feel like crap but I look like it too.
“Medium hot chocolate, without whipped cream?” a voice called.
I slowly got to my feet to retrieve my drink, the chains of my hopelessness dragging behind me as I walked.
Why couldn’t one of those doors have been unlocked . . .
“You look like death.”
I would’ve said something mean back to Sam had I not just ran from Starbucks though the Express parking lot against a 60 km/hr wind. Now I was too tired to think of a comeback. The train doors were just sliding shut as I reached them. Fortunately, a man inside held it for me.
Malaya was sitting across the aisle filing her nails. “You’re slipping, Celeste. Usually you’re fifteen minutes early.” Her smile froze when she looked at me. “What are you wearing?” she asked, her almond-shaped eyes widening. “Did our washer breakdown?” She’d left before she saw me this morning, to run errands.
“I didn’t sleep well,” I said wearily. I leaned my head against the blue seat, closing my eyes. “I didn’t have the energy to put any effort into my appearance.”
I heard a Ziploc bag open followed by a crunching sound. After a swallowing sound, Sam’s voice came. “You look ravishing, in an effortless way, Celeste.”
I opened my eyes and offered him a small smile. “Thanks, Sam.”
He held out his baggie of Cheerios and said, “Something tells me you didn’t get breakfast this morning.”
Taking a handful, I smiled my thanks.
“Like I said, she’s slipping,” Malaya quipped, as she pulled out a compact mirror, studied her raven-coloured curled hair and then applied a layer of shiny lip gloss. Snapping it shut, she moved to the unoccupied seat in front of Sam and me. Turning backwards to face us, she pointed a finger at me and teased, “Next time you pull a grunge day, phone me and I will shower and dress you myself.”
Feeding off of her energy, I giggled despite my gloom. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam roll his eyes. A pang of guilt sliced through my chest when I realized not only would death take away my pain but it also might add new wounds.
To others.
Sam misinterpreted my dejected look for tiredness. “Here,” he draped his North Face jacket over me. “Get some sleep before class, kiddo.”
Leaning against his shoulder, I closed my eyes. The steady rhythm of the train moving on the tracks eventually lulled me to sleep.
And this time, it seemed fitting that I dreamt of the colour black.
Sam and I were sitting in the school lounge eating when my phone vibrated. I put down my feta and tomato Greek pizza to answer. “Hello?”
“Celeste, honey, I have a favour to ask.”
Scrunching the wrapper off the straw for my milk, I listened as my mom explained she needed me to stay with Nate this weekend.
“Mom, he
’s fifteen. I don’t think he needs a babysitter,” I argued.
“Will you just do it?” Mom sounded tired. “I have to go to the nursing conference in Kent and I would get a whole lot more out of it if I knew Nate wasn’t alone.”
“Scared he might throw a party and trash the house?” I asked, bringing my carton of chocolate milk to my lips. Sam unwrapped a chocolate covered granola bar and raised an eyebrow at me.
Rolling my eyes, I mouthed “Nate”. Then shifting the phone to my other ear, I cradled it against my shoulder to free my hands to pick up my pizza.
A long sigh rang across my mom’s side of the phone. “He got suspended again today. And since suspended students aren’t allowed to participate in extracurricular events, he’s missing basketball tryouts this weekend.”
“Do you think he’d go to the tryouts and do something stupid?”
My mom sighed again and I imagined her adjusting her square-framed glasses as she hugged a clip board to her chest and leaned against the nurse’s station at the Abbotsford hospital. “Knowing that new angry streak of his, that’s exactly what I’m afraid he’ll do.”
I set my pizza down and brushed my hands together. “Fine, I’ll come and stay with him. But try not to be back that late on Sunday.”
“Thanks, sweetie, I’ll try my hardest to be home by noon,” she assured.
After I said goodbye and slipped my phone into my purse, Sam closed both eyes and held his fingers to his head. “I see you’re ditching movie night with Malaya and me to spend it with-”
“The devil,” I finished for him with a sigh.
My dark Gap jeans . . . turquoise Aritzia hoodie . . . I better take my grey wool one too . . . maybe some shorts and tank tops, just in case . . .