by Nyla Ditson
A sloppy kiss halted my thoughts.
Scrunching my face in revulsion, I pushed the admirer away. Sitting up, I found a stray dog looking at me. It almost looked like he was grinning at me. The black and white Siberian husky cocked its head at me, appearing to question why I’d just dropped from the sky.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” I mumbled, wiping my face.
“Celeste?”
I looked over my shoulder to find Sam staggering to his feet. He had grass stains on the knees of his jeans and a few fallen leaves stuck in his hair. He lowered himself down beside me, leaning against the back of a tree.
“Oy,” was all he said.
Petting the husky, I gazed out at the setting sun. “I second that motion.”
After a minute, Sam turned his face towards me. “Did you believe what they were saying?”
The stray rested his head in my lap. I stroked the soft fur behind his ears. Jesus seems like someone I can trust, nothing like Kalan. I shuddered but Sam didn’t notice. As if reading my thoughts, the stray looked up and whined quietly. “Yes,” I finally admitted. “I think I do. And even if it’s not true, there’s no harm in trying the Jesus route, right?”
Sam was quiet, running his finger in an area of dirt on the ground. “Maybe,” he said.
Sensing he was closing up on talking about the subject, I reached out to pluck the leaf from his hair. “You have some interesting accessories going on, Mr. Kaeo.” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Sam pulled a leaf from my hair. “So do you,” he said. “Didn’t anyone tell you leaf barrettes were sooo last year?”
My giggle caught in my throat as his cold finger wiped at a spot on my cheek.
“You had some dirt…” Sam mumbled, feeling me stiffen. His thumb stayed where it was, his index finger tracing my jaw. His eyes searched mine. I breathed in, unsure how to react to the butterflies swarming in my stomach. I’d never felt this way around Sam before. Could this shared out-of-this-world experience knit us closer together?
Without thinking, I leaned in toward the kiss, curious to know what emotions the touch of his lips would ignite within me.
The second our lips met, a swarm of warmth filled my stomach. With eyes shut, I reached up and gently traced Sam’s defined jaw. He moaned between the gentle kisses, resting his forehead on mine after the last.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that, Celeste,” he murmured, his breath warm on my skin.
“Sam?”
His eyes flickered open, his eyes full of curiosity. “Yeah?” he asked quietly.
What in the world? I scrunched my nose, pulling away. “That wasn’t me,” I said. “I didn’t say your name.” Suddenly the feeling of being watched overcame me. A sixth sense caused me to turn towards the apartment. Sam followed my gaze to the spot where the stray sat perched on the grass.
The dog slowly licked its paw. Then he met our gazes… and seemed to grin again.
“Sebastian!” I shouted louder than necessary, the shock of his changed form assaulting me. I jumped up and rushed over to my guardian angel. The dog cocked his head to one side, giving me an innocent look.
I shook my finger at him, feeling Sam jog up beside me. “Oh no you don’t. After all we’ve been through, I could place that cocky grin anywhere.”
The dog batted his eyelashes and grinned.
“Dude, stop that.” Sam gave the dog a strange look. “It’s creeping me out. Dogs aren’t supposed to smile like that.” He turned and squinted at me. “You don’t really think this is your nutso guardian, do you?”
I didn’t have time to convince him. A flash of bright light sent my arm up, shielding my eyes. When I peeked seconds later, there stood Sebastian.
He dusted off a stray dog hair from his purple sweater. “Thank You, God, that I don’t have dog allergies,” he said, then he gave us both disapproving looks. “And thank goodness I was too busy dealing with a dreaded flee to notice too much of your hormone induced smooching.”
Sam opened his mouth then closed it. Then he rubbed his eyes, as if trying to wake up from a dream. I didn’t really blame him. It was a lot to take in. Especially in one day.
Leaving Sam in his shock, I studied Sebastian. What could I say after our intense time travelling? Words refused to form in my throat.
Understanding, Sebastian offered a small smile. Celeste, Jesus meant every word He told you tonight. He glanced at Sam, who was rubbing his temples. Even if it sounds too good to be true to one of you.
I know, I said silently. Those two words confirmed that my head and heart were connected. But then why does staying sad and hopeless feel easier and safer sometimes?
The breeze blew through Sebastian’s hair, showing the multiple golden hues as he approached. “That’s Satan talking. Don’t listen,” he said reassuringly. He drew me into a hug. “Your life has a purpose, Celeste. And all this pain will not be in vain. God will use it to bring about good. Mark my words.”
I ran his words over and over in mind.
“Get your hands off my girl,” Sam said.
Sebastian released me, smirking. “My, what a possessive human you are, Sam.” He clamped one hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I see you finally came out of your daze. Had me shouting a few Hallelujahs there.” He snapped his fingers. “Shucks, I thought we’d have a few more minutes of peace and quiet.
Sam, his composure completely found, slung his arm around my shoulders. “Very funny, angel boy,” he retorted.
“Know that I’m kidding though,” Sebastian’s face melted from teasing to utter seriousness as he spoke. His creamy complexion wrinkled, something I thought it incapable of. He looked first at me, then Sam. “Like I just told Celeste, each life has a purpose.”
Sam’s arm tightened around me. His chin locked in place. His body language shouted disbelief. But mine proclaimed curiosity. A longing for more. A longing for freedom.
“Sebastian, I have a question…”
My beautiful guardian angel arched an eyebrow. Excited anticipation was in his expression. Clearly, he had read my thoughts already. “Yes?”
I gently bit the top of my lip. I looked up at Sam. He gazed down at me, curious. Gulping, I removed his arm from around me. Then, I took a step toward my practically glowing guardian. “Is it too late… to accept the gift Chanah spoke of?”
Sebastian’s arms were around me instantly. “Is there still breath in your lungs?”
Yes. I pressed my chilled face against his soft sweater.
“Then it’s not too late,” he said.
Taking the biggest gulp of air ever, I closed my eyes.
And prayed.
God, I’m tired of living in chains. I don’t want dark thoughts to consume me anymore. I want the kind of life that offers freedom and joy. I want to fully thrive and enjoy life, guilt-free from my past. I spoke my next words aloud, needing to hear them for myself. “Jesus, I want You to take the pain away. Nothing else has worked. Jesus, I want You in my life. I want that gift You offer.”
With a tender kiss to the top of my head, Sebastian answered, tears nearly overwhelming his voice. “Those who seek will find, Celeste. Seek after a friendship with God. Do this by telling Him everything that’s on your heart and reading His book. I promise through these things, peace will find you.”
And as my guardian’s form slowly disappeared from my arms, as I walked back to Sam and we stood side by side and watched the sunset come to an end, I felt something changing within me. The tunnel, my mind’s representation of my future, no longer was full of black shadows and cobwebs. Now my future shone full of hope and light.
A smile tugged at my lips as Sam and I turned from the sunset, nature’s signal that this crazy day was almost behind us.
“Why are you so smiley all of a sudden?
” Sam asked, walking me towards the apartment front doors.
“Because,” I said glancing up at the navy sky, spotting a star that seemed to shine brighter than the rest, “my future is starting to feel brighter.”
I giggled, loving the sound, the feeling. “As bright as an angel’s halo.”
I couldn’t put it into words. I just felt at peace. Like somehow my soul knew the coming days would be better. That positive changes, such as a determination to live fully and guilt free, would come.
Because of adding Jesus into the equation.
We stopped outside the front door where the glow of the outside light illuminated Sam’s dark features. Taking in the change in me, the peace shining through to the outside, Sam’s eyes grew wide. “Something’s seriously different with you, ever since you said you wanted Jesus’ help.”
I nodded and Sam pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my matted hair. “I don’t understand it yet,” he said, “but for now I’m just glad I’ve got my Celeste back.”
The bright star from earlier winked at me. I smiled, it could only be Sebastian. My watcher, even throughout the night.
And, like Sam said, I was on my way back to being me, a better me. All because I’d said seven small words: Jesus, I want you in my life.
As the memory of those words came to live in my mind, I heard Jesus’ familiar voice answer me back: Through Me, you will become untangled from your darkness.
A collection of happy sighs, content bellies and shared smiles between lovers couldn’t compare to the happiness that flooded through my veins at hearing His final comment:
For darkness is no match for me.
Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank a handful of people, who helped mold Angelic into the story it is today.
Mom, for editing my work. Though at times all the red scribbles made me cringe and heavily sigh, it was greatly appreciated. Also, after the several doors closed for publishing this book, you shared with me Colonel Sanders’ inspirational story. His Kentucky Fried Chicken was also rejected many times before it became popular. Thanks for the story, Mom!
Dad, for not complaining too much that I hogged the computer. Or that I always used up all the black ink… sorry about that!
Carol Near, for editing my work and encouraging me with your constructive comments and compliments. But I must confess, sometimes I ignored your editing and kept the wording how I originally had it. What can I say? My way just sometimes really is better
.
Amanda Fast, my high school creative writing teacher. I’ll never forget what you said to me one day: “Nyla, I know I’ll be buying your books one day.” On the discouraging-I-just-want-to-give-up-days, that comment kept me striving for my publishing dream. I would think, “Well, if she believes in me, maybe I really can do this.”
Carol Rogers, for taking on my project and editing. I feel so “stone age” for previously imputing all my edits from a hardcopy to the computer. Showing me you can edit using Microsoft Word (leaving comments and the accept or reject change feature) is SO much better! It saves so much time! I always dreaded editing, silently vowing to make an “I Hate Editing” t-shirt one day and wear it with pride. But now I’m actually enjoying editing! Thanks for all your insightful comments, Carol. I’m so glad we were able to connect.
The iUniverse publishing team: You all were so helpful and quick to answer my questions about the publishing procedures. The road map you gave me for the publishing journey was great. It calmed my nerves from day one, showing me that this project I’d taken on wasn’t that complicated. Your checkups with my project were great, too. They made me feel like a partner, whose success and progress you truly cared about.
Ashley Bond, my oh-so-helpful-soon-to-be-millionaire-pharmacist-friend. I will never forget our conversation over text that began with me texting “Umm… don’t be alarmed but I need to ask you an odd question. How many Advil would it take to overdose?” Thanks for not freaking out and for setting me straight and pointing me in the more-likely-to-do-more-damage-than-just-barfing-and-nausea direction of Tylenol. And thanks for calculating a dangerous dose for me. You know I hate math, so thanks a million, Mustache Ash!
Pastor Ron Baker, for checking for last minute spelling blunders. It always amazes me that even after eight billion edits, by multiple people, there can still be silly spelling mistakes! One time, in another book of mine, I laughed out loud when I realized the “pasta” was giving the sermon at church!
And again, thank You, Jesus. You gave me incredible creativity, a swift hand to scribble this story down with, and You gave me the ability to fit in writing among essay assignments and midterms. Often, as I wrote, I’d mutter to myself “Luke 1:37, Luke 1:37”, reminding myself that with Your help, all things truly are possible.