Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody, Vol. 11

by Hiro Ainana

  “I’ll have to reward them, too, then.”

  “Oh, then you should make hamburg steaks for them!”

  “Hamburg steaks?”

  “Yeah, they’ve been wanting to try it since Tama and Pochi told them all about it.”

  “Sure, I’d be more than happy to.”

  In fact, I could make it for all the kids to celebrate the opening of the orphanage.

  Most of them probably still had weak stomachs right now, so I’d have to wait until they were ready.

  “So what are you making now?”

  “Oh, these are nameplates.”

  I tried to make them simple enough for the kids to understand.

  The base of the plates was made of diamond-hard scales. They were big, I had plenty of them, and most importantly, they were tough and durable.

  The plates would have the child’s name, the mark of Pendragon Orphanage, and three runes engraved on the back: Lucky Charm, Health, and Safety.

  They wouldn’t work as well as a magic tool, but I included them with the hopes of keeping the kids safe and happy.

  The scales were fairly valuable, but they were the best surface for engraving three runes.

  I covered the surface with white paint, so hopefully no one would notice.

  There were a lot of kids, but I intended to finish the nameplates by the next morning.

  As Mia played a lullaby to help the children sleep, I spent the night keeping an eye on the radar for any troublesome visitors.

  > Title Acquired: Guardian

  > Title Acquired: Protector of Children

  At the Guild

  Satou here. I love those Hollywood movies where the heroes deal with one danger after another. It’s fun to be on the edge of your seat and all, but I wish those kinds of things would only happen in fiction. In reality, of course, I prefer peace and quiet.

  “All’s right with the world.”

  I sighed contentedly as I watched the steam rise from my coffee into the dawn sky.

  I’d stayed up all night keeping an eye out for violence from the green-clad noble or his underlings, but as if in mockery of my vigilance, it was a completely peaceful, quiet night.

  Lulu, who’d brewed this coffee for me, was preparing food for the soup kitchen and breakfast for the kids we’d taken in at the orphanage.

  “Now, I’d like to help out, too, but…”

  Unfortunately, our current kitchen was too small to fit many people.

  Finishing my coffee, I put the used mug away in Storage, transformed into Kuro, and used Return to teleport to the Ivy Manor to use their kitchen.

  “Good morning, Lord Kuro.”

  “Good morning, Lelillil.”

  Leave it to a brownie house fairy: Despite it being the crack of dawn, Lelillil was already dressed and preparing breakfast.

  “Sorry, Lelillil, but would you mind if I used the kitchen?”

  “If you need anything, sir, please leave it to me!”

  Lelillil smacked a fist to her flat chest.

  “Well, it’s not cooking exactly… I just wanted to make cornflakes.”

  I produced some kernels from a walking corn, a giant corn-like monster, and used the Practical Magic spells Multitool and Magic Mold to peel off the tough husks and crush the kernels into a fine powder.

  Magic Mold created a see-through airtight container, so I could enjoy watching the kernels get crushed inside.

  “Waaah, they’re turning into powder in the blink of an eye! How the hell do you do it, Lord Satou?!”

  Lelillil was so surprised that she lost control of her manners and forgot to call me Kuro.

  “All I have to do is spin a blade inside a container made from magic to crush the kernels into powder.”

  I was using Magic Hand to spin the blade I’d created with Multitool.

  During this conversation, I created almost fifty pounds of corn flour. Then I transferred the flour into bags, set up the next batch of corn kernels, and started mass-producing the flour.

  Then, using the “Parallel Thoughts” skill, I started kneading the flour into batter for cornflakes even as I continued producing more of it.

  “Lelillil, would you mind cooking this batter until the surface is nice and crisp?”

  I lined up the thin sheets of cornflake batter on an oven plate and put Lelillil in charge of the rest.

  Even with “Parallel Thoughts,” it would be a pain to control three different spells in progress while activating even more.

  “Of course, sir!”

  Before long, the pleasant scent of cooking corn filled the kitchen.

  “Lord Kuro, is this acceptable?”

  “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

  I picked up a piece of the cooked, crunchy batter and took a bite.

  The texture was good, but the flavor was lacking.

  “Maybe I should have mixed in some milk or sugar while I was kneading the batter?”

  “I’ll bring some right away, sir.”

  Lelillil started to jog toward the storehouse, but I stopped her and produced the ingredients from my Item Box instead.

  Then, with Lelillil’s help, I created several different varieties of cornflakes.

  “The plain kind might be best if you eat them with milk once they’re ready.”

  “I agree, sir. If I was going to eat this regularly, I wouldn’t get sick of that easily.”

  Since the house fairy Lelillil agreed, I mass-produced a large amount of the plain cornflakes and returned to the house.

  Of course, I gave Lelillil some of the cornflakes and leftover corn flour as thanks for her assistance.

  “Mmmm, I haven’t had cornflakes in ages…”

  “So crunchyyy?”

  “It goes super, super well with milk, sir!”

  “Mm. New texture.”

  When I offered the cornflakes to my group for breakfast, they were a big hit with the younger crowd.

  “They have a really interesting mouthfeel. Sort of like deep-fried gyoza but different… I bet you could use them in lots of dishes.”

  “They’re good with milk, but you can put them in parfaits and stuff, too!”

  Arisa offered suggestions as Lulu analyzed the cereal’s potential.

  “Perhaps one could add bits of jerky before cooking the batter?”

  “Good ideeea?”

  “That would definitely be super, super good, sir!”

  The meat-loving Liza’s idea was met with applause by the equally carnivorous Tama and Pochi.

  I hadn’t thought of that, but it did actually sound pretty good.

  “Master! The larvae were satisfied as well, I report.”

  “Did you make sure to eat, too, Nana?”

  “Yes, master! And I executed the ‘Say aah’ exchange with the larvae, I declare.”

  Nana’s expression didn’t change, but somehow, she seemed to be glowing with joy.

  “…Young master, you have mail.”

  Just as we finished eating, Miss Miteruna brought me a few letters and a paper knife.

  I opened the envelopes and scanned the contents.

  “What’s up?”

  “They’re from the viceroy’s wife and the guild.”

  The former expressed concern for me and said she would dispatch a government official to help make the kids official residents of the orphanage.

  As for the latter…

  “It says to come get our reward money for capturing those plunderers.”

  Last time we’d gone into the labyrinth, we’d arrested some plunderers in the process of rescuing Princess Meetia and the others.

  At the time, I’d been so exhausted from dealing with Sokell’s badgering that I had just dropped them off at the guild without so much as an interrogation.

  Presumably, the noble kids’ guards had given testimonies in my place.

  “That Plunderer King Ludaman had a pretty high bounty on his head, so I bet you’re gonna rake it in.”

  Arisa drooled a little, with doll
ar signs practically appearing in her eyes.

  “The wanted poster said one hundred gold coins, I report.”

  “Whoa, that’s awesome!”

  Arisa pumped her fists.

  “Why, is there anything you want?”

  I was pretty sure she had everything she needed, but it was possible there was something she was keeping to herself because she didn’t want to incur too many expenses.

  “Me? No, not really. But you could buy the girls in the orphanage some nice ribbons or something. For the boys, uh…food would probably be fine, right?”

  “Ribbons are a good idea. They probably haven’t had the chance to wear accessories much.”

  For the boys, maybe some cool scarves or belts would be good? I decided to consult with the director of the orphanage before buying anything.

  “Hmm? There’s another letter here, no?”

  Arisa picked up a letter that had fallen to the floor.

  “Oh-hooo? A rookie explorers’ class?” Scanning it quickly, she tilted her head. “It says they happen once a month, and they want us to participate.”

  She handed the letter to me after she’d summarized it aloud.

  “This month’s class is five days from now, so I guess we’ll wait to resume our labyrinth exploration until after that.”

  Evidently, you were normally expected to take the class after receiving your bronze badge.

  “Oh, all right. I guess we’ll be busy with the orphanage for a while anyway.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “It’s fine; it’s fine!” Arisa grinned gallantly.

  “Of cooourse?”

  “Pochi always works hard, sir!”

  “Mm. Diligent.”

  Tama, Pochi, and Mia seemed determined to help as well.

  I wanted the kids to spend more time playing, but it didn’t seem to be working out that way.

  “Lulu, are you giving Rosie and Annie cooking lessons again today?”

  After the morning’s food distribution, Lulu steered our carriage toward the west guild.

  “Yes, as well as some others who wanted to learn to make potato-and-bean dumplings.”

  “Oh, the ones from earlier?”

  During the morning soup kitchen, some grim-faced young and middle-aged men had appeared, begging to be taught how to make dumplings.

  It wasn’t a recipe I particularly planned to keep secret, and I was all in favor of making tastier food available for newbie explorers, so we agreed to teach them.

  Of course, in lieu of payment, they would be helping out at the soup kitchen for a month.

  We planned to change the main dish each month. Thanks to that, we were hoping to secure some recurring cooks.

  The part-timer housewives took care of most of the work, so with the addition of these men, the soup kitchen could probably run without us helping directly from now on.

  “Should I really be teaching professional chefs how to cook anything?”

  “It’s no different from teaching Rosie and Annie,” I reassured Lulu.

  Just then, I noticed hostile red dots on the radar in the corner of my vision.

  Who’s that?

  I assumed a monster wouldn’t suddenly appear in the middle of town. I opened my map and discovered that the dots belonged to the Plunderer King Ludaman and his top brass.

  It had been several days since we’d caught them, but I guess they were still actively hostile toward me.

  “Is something the matter, master?”

  “No, it’s nothing.”

  I smiled and continued our cooking conversation.

  Finally, the carriage arrived in front of the guild’s main gate.

  “I’ll wait in the parking area.”

  “Okay, I’ll try to make it quick.”

  Once I turned away from Lulu, my smile faded into a serious expression.

  I’d noticed another dot on my radar that wasn’t particularly friendly.

  “Oh? Sir Pendragon, you have business at the guild as well, indeed?”

  “Yes, I have a quick errand.”

  “I see. It seems as though you cleaned the garbage from my path yesterday, indeed. You’re a hard worker indeed, Sir Pendragon.”

  “It’s just part of my soup kitchen volunteer work.”

  The green-clad noble was quick to allude to my taking in the vagrant children, so I smoothly evaded the subject.

  Because the soup kitchen had been approved by the viceroy’s wife, his direct superior, he couldn’t bad-mouth it. His smile froze in place like a mask.

  “Lord Poputema, is it official business that brings you to the guild?”

  “My night walks have become less stimulating. As a result, I’m here to torture—that is, interrogate—the plunderers, indeed.”

  The green-clad noble’s smirk deepened again as he produced a whip from somewhere and cracked it once.

  “Interrogate the plunderers?”

  “Are you interested, indeed?”

  I nodded slowly.

  “Curiosity is a fine trait, indeed.” The green-clad noble cackled for a while, then explained.

  It seemed he suspected that a certain major noble from the royal capital was involved in Sokell’s demonic-potion smuggling, so he had been conducting an independent investigation.

  “Curious fellow that you are, Sir Pendragon, do you not wish to know that noble’s name, indeed?”

  The smile on the green-clad noble’s face looked like that of a demon setting a trap.

  “No, not particularly.”

  Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.

  I didn’t want to get caught up in some royal capital noble infighting.

  “A boring answer, indeed.”

  Looking disappointed, Poputema waved as if he’d lost interest in me and strolled lightly into the building.

  “A parade?”

  When an employee guided me to the aging guildmaster’s office, I was greeted with a highly unexpected proposal.

  “That’s right. You captured Ludaman and his men, after all the trouble they’ve given explorers and the labyrinth army. Before we publicly execute them, we want to make your great accomplishments known to the whole of the city!”

  “I appreciate it, but no, thank you.”

  I was sure Arisa and some of the other girls would be thrilled, but I didn’t want to participate in a celebration like that.

  On its own, the parade would just be embarrassing, but in this case, I got the feeling that I’d be made to watch the execution from the front row afterward.

  I couldn’t really do blood and gore.

  “I know you’re modest and all, but this is ridiculous!” The guildmaster stood up, glowering at me like I was a disappointing son. “If you ever want to be promoted from honorary to permanent noble, you’ve got to show off these kinds of accomplishments like there’s no tomorrow!”

  “I’m not particularly interested in becoming a permanent noble, though.”

  Sorry, but I don’t really have any ambitions.

  Besides, if I wanted to be a king, it’d be faster to just take over some monster territory or find a City Core without a master.

  The guildmaster heaved a sigh.

  “What a strange young man you are. If you became a permanent noble, you’d get to eat and drink your fill of as much delicious food and alcohol as you like and pick out a few pretty wives from some lesser nobility or traveling merchants, you know?”

  I already got to eat and drink plenty of tasty things, and I certainly didn’t want a bunch of wives. If my beloved Miss Aaze, the high elf of Bolenan Forest, would marry me, that would be more than enough.

  Images of a furious Arisa and Mia and an unhappy Lulu rose to mind, but I shook my head to dismiss them along with any feelings of guilt.

  “Very well, then. There’s no point if you wouldn’t like it.” The guildmaster shrugged and sat back down. “I’ll save you front-row seats for the ex—Eh, you don’t want that, either?”

  “No, thank y
ou.”

  The guildmaster seemed to detect the reluctance on my face, so I shook my head emphatically.

  “It’s not often you get to see a thing like this!” She looked incredulous.

  “I’m terribly sorry, but…”

  I’d tried to ignore it in the old capital, but it was clear that in this relatively entertainment-free fantasy world, the public execution of criminals was considered a fun spectacle.

  In the Shiga Kingdom, even murderers were generally forced to work as criminal slaves, so a public execution was pretty rare.

  “Honestly. How bizarre can you get? You’ll at least take the reward money, won’t you?”

  “Yes, please. Though if you don’t mind, I’d like half of the reward for Ludaman’s capture to be given to Lady Ravna of the Nolork Kingdom.”

  I vividly remembered the lady knight’s rock-solid, gallant posture.

  I was the one who had ultimately captured Ludaman, but she’d had a fierce battle with the Plunderer King first.

  “As it happens, Lady Ravna has already said you should get all the money because you saved her life.”

  “I see. I’ll give it to her myself next time I see her, then.”

  Knowing the serious-minded knight, she would probably refuse the money, so I decided to make her a broadsword or something to replace her broken blade.

  A Magic Sword would seem too valuable, and an iron sword would make it difficult to produce “Spellblade,” so bronze or monster parts would probably make a good base.

  As I mulled all this over, a faint knock reached my ears.

  “Guildmaster?”

  “Come in.”

  The guildmaster’s secretary, Miss Ushana, entered, along with a grade school–age girl in a cloak.

  She lowered her hood, revealing short, finely textured turquoise hair.

  “Ugh. Sebelkeya.”

  “How rude, Lilian.”

  “Don’t call me that name!”

  The guildmaster’s name was unexpectedly cutesy and girlish, but I decided to save poking fun at that for our next drinking party. Instead, I looked at the girl she’d called Sebelkeya.

  Her hair color and slightly pointed ears made one thing clear: She was an elf, just like Mia.

  However, she seemed to belong to the research-loving Bulainan clan, not Mia’s Bolenan clan.