She looked up at him. “Oui. I would be happy just looking at you.”
Mon Dieu! What was wrong with women? Gastien laughed. “Well that is flattering, but truly you would not be. You are very pretty, I am honored, but this is a simple crush.” She shook her head violently. Gastien continued, “Your future is with your husband. I live in a world without running water or toilets, Vivienne. I sometimes don’t know when I will eat. You would never have a new dress.” That got her attention. “Non! Not a single one. All of my money goes for paints.” He lied. “In fact, if I married you, I would sell all of the dresses and hats you own to buy more paint. I am serious. Every, single one. I have no time for such niceties.”
She smiled. “Well, perhaps you aren’t my Prince Charming then.”
“That is correct, cherie. I wish I could live up to that, but I am sadly lacking.”
“You could be my lover, though, for about a month before the wedding. No one would know,” she whispered.
Foutre! Did she know how badly he would like to sample that firm blonde body? Damn it! “Vivienne, please. You embarrass me, and you embarrass yourself! I am not going to be your lover. I want you to go home now and reconsider. Do not come back tomorrow, unless you have resolved this in your mind. If this continues, I will tell your father and mother. I can’t have my career ruined just when it is starting.”
“You wouldn’t!” she exclaimed fearfully.
Gastien wore his most stern look. “I would. Don’t try me.”
“Why don’t you want me? Aren’t I pretty enough?” She looked at him with those huge blue eyes and Gastien thought his knees would buckle. How do I find the strength to turn down someone so delicious? Especially when she is so obviously offering herself to me? He kept the stern glare.
“Oui, you are very pretty. If the circumstances were different, and you were a peasant, I would be delighted. You are my employer’s daughter. You are gentry. I am not. End of story.”
“Gastien, please listen to me – “
“Please leave and consider tonight if you want to come back and talk no more of this, or if you want to test me about telling your parents. Now, go.”
“You are very cruel!” she cried, as she walked to the door.
“On the contrary. I am being very kind. One day you will hopefully realize that.”
As she left, slamming the door, Gastien sank down into the easy chair. Sweet Jesus! He was definitely going into Paris tonight to get laid. He would have to increase his nocturnal visits to the 6th in an effort to keep himself sated. Godammit, why did women have to be so persistent? They were worse than men! Gastien sighed. He decided to take a bath, get dressed, eat his meal, and get into town. He was going to need a woman with a lot of stamina tonight. He knew if he went to certain establishments he would see upper class women with or without their mates there. Someone would be interested. They always were.
Later that night, after returning home and going to bed, he had a nightmare. In it, he was once again homeless. He could feel the hunger burning in his stomach. Oh, the stink of the streets and his body! The garbage bins were full of rats, but he found some food and ate it anyway. As soon as he ate it, he was vomiting. As he knelt to eat the vomit, a rat tore into his leg. Soon several rats were on him, eating him alive. He woke up hollering, finding himself covered in sweat.
This was the nightmare that had started shortly after the rooming house had burned down, once he had been forced to move into the squalid room he last occupied in Paris. It seemed to come to him in his sleep at least monthly, each time growing in intensity and seeming more real. This time was the worst so far. Panting, eyes wild, Gastien checked all over his body for bites. He knew it was not real, yet his brain could not process the fact. He needed to go to the bathroom, but he was afraid to get out of bed. Finally, he forced himself out and lit a gaslight.
Coming back to bed, he decided to leave the light on. He huddled in bed, covers wrapped tightly around him, shivering from fear. Oh, God, it was so real! Why could he not shake this dream? He did not sleep anymore that night. He lay there thinking about what he could do to ensure that he would never be homeless or hungry again. There were no guarantees. Gastien knew he would rather die than relive those days again. When dawn finally came, Gastien went for a walk. Maybe the fresh air would calm his mind.
Unfortunately for Gastien, this nightmare would repeat throughout the next several months, gathering in both intensity and frequency. By February he would be haunted by it at least weekly. He would try drinking some liquor before bed, hoping that would keep the dreams away. It wouldn’t help. It seemed the nightmare would come whenever it wanted to come. Days would be fine, but the nights when the nightmare arrived would be pure hell. .
However, on this day in September, Vivienne did return. She apologized, saying it would not happen again. They finished the portrait over the next several weeks without further incident.
One night in late October, Gastien mentioned to Jean Luc that his birthday was November 6th and he would be twenty. Jean Luc sighed. “I would love to be that young again! You have your whole life ahead of you!” They were in the habit of sitting and having a couple glasses of sherry in the evenings. Sometimes Jean Luc stayed a couple of hours. Gastien enjoyed listening about Jean Luc’s visits to other countries, and how he had acquired his fortune.
On the night of Gastien’s birthday, he was invited to the main house for dinner. After dinner, Jean Luc presented him with a new épée, foil and sabre, all three. Gastien was beside himself with pleasure. He sorely missed fencing. He also knew he needed to get back into it to stay in shape and keep his strength. Painting all day did not build muscle.
“Jean Luc, I should say you shouldn’t have, but I want these too much! I will just say merci beaucoup!” Gastien‘s eyes danced as he tested the balance and bend of the foil. “I hope you know you will have a crazy man on your property, practicing all of the fencing moves on his own daily!”
Jean Luc laughed, clapping his hands. “I am so glad you like it. I remember you telling me you used to fence every day growing up. I love to fence myself! Perhaps we will exercise together on occasion. It is even more fun if you have a fencing partner to spar with!
“Oh, that would be fantastic!” cried Gastien. His youth really showed in his enthusiasm that night. Jean Luc gazed at him wistfully. He wished he could be that excited about life again, that young. He wished he could have ever looked that good!
V
So the days and nights went. The next person to be painted was Véronique. She had been a thorn in Gastien’s side since the first night of his arrival. Whenever he saw her outside he would try to go in another direction. She was too sensual, too sure of herself. Very dangerous. Véronique was asking to be ridden, and Gastien very much wanted to be the rider. She was like a wild horse. Gastien knew it would be a challenge and a pleasure to tame her.
Now he had to spend days with her in his studio alone. He could hardly say she needed a chaperone! Just thinking about her gave him an erection so rock hard it actually caused him pain. Damn her anyway! She was now sixteen, plenty old enough to be ridden, but she was also Jean Luc and Annah’s daughter. He would not succumb. His hand was getting quite a work out at night in bed, now that she was in his studio every day. Nevertheless, sometimes she got him so excited that he got hard anyway while he was painting. Even worse, he knew that she knew it. He could feel her staring at his crotch. She did not even have the decency to look away when he caught her.
One day Gastien’s patience evaporated. Feeling her stare once again, his temper rose.
“Please put your eyes somewhere besides my bite!” he said roughly. “Be a lady for Christ’s sake!”
She slowly turned her eyes to his. “Excuse me? Did you actually think I was looking at your “bite” as you so crassly call it? What do you take me for? I was simply bored and day dreaming.” She looked at him like he was something she should scrape off of her shoe. “You take way too much for gr
anted just because you are good looking. Perhaps it is you who needs to remember to be a gentleman!” Then she returned her stare to his crotch. Finally he moved the easel more in front of her. Dammit! Now he could not see her! He moved it back.
“Am I making you nervous, Gastien? Is there some kind of problem?” she inquired sweetly.
He sat his paints and brush down. He slowly walked to a chair and sat down. “Oui, there is a problem, Véronique. I am very tired of your games. Please stop it right now! Being a tease is not appropriate for a lady.”
“I am not a lady. If you don’t want to play games, then close the shutters and come here. I want you to be the one to deflower me.” She held his eyes and pushed her bodice lower. “Don’t tell me you have not wondered what these would feel like in your hands, how it would feel to be inside me.”
“You talk like a whore!” snapped Gastien. “I am not interested in deflowering virgins! I have my own women in Paris. I don’t need to play with little girls!”
Her face flamed. “I am not a little girl!”
“Then stop pouting and throwing tantrums when you don’t get your way! I don’t want you!” cried Gastien. Liar, his mind said.
She laughed. “Oh, you want me all right. I can see it in your trousers, and in your eyes! Have it your way. I can wait. Sooner or later, you will take me.”
“Let’s just get the day over with,” Gastien said darkly.
He did some of his best on her portrait that day. For Véronique, he wanted her hair down. It was curlier than the other two females, blonde and wild, as were her blue eyes. Everything about her was untamed. He had to paint her that way. To paint her like a lady would make the painting ring untrue. He only hoped Jean Luc and Annah would understand that.
“Pull up your bodice. I need it to be in the same place every time.”
“Why don’t you fix it then?”
Gastien strode over, grabbed her bodice and pulled it up. They both felt the heat. Véronique’s lips parted in shock at the intensity. He pulled his hand away quickly, as if it was burned. He turned his back, hurrying back to the easel. He continued painting in spite of the roaring in his ears. Foutre! Some day, after I am no longer employed here, I will give her what she deserves and then some, he thought. Then he was ashamed. Of course he wouldn’t! Jean Luc was too kind to him to do that.
He rubbed his temples. “Véronique, I am afraid that we must stop early today. I have a terrible headache. I am tired of sparring with you. I must ask you to leave. Please arrive at the same time in the morning. I am sorry,” Gastien lied. He simply needed her out of his sight.
She opened her mouth to retort, but noticed that Gastien did look quite pale and tired. Perhaps he did have a headache, after all. Maybe she should just leave him be until tomorrow. Her goal, after all, was to get him to have sex with her, not irritate him to the point where he would not want to.
“All right, Gastien. I am sorry you are not feeling well.” She stood up and walked to the door. “Perhaps a hot bath and early night right after dinner will help. Shall I ask the servants to bring dinner early?”
Gastien was surprised. She had not seemed the type that cared for anyone’s interests but her own. “Non, Véronique, but I really do appreciate your asking. I think I will lie down until the regular time for dinner arrives. You have a good afternoon.” He smiled tentatively.
“Goodbye, Gastien.“ She already had lost interest in his headache and was planning her afternoon.
Gastien sat for awhile on the couch, trying to decide what to do about Véronique. It was a very dangerous situation. Finally, he decided to ask Annah to chaperone her daughter, or find a servant that would. He would ask that she say nothing to Véronique. He would state that he just felt she was a little too interested in him, and he did not want to encourage anything untoward. Véronique would be furious, but that was her problem. He needed this money. He was not going to lose it.
Gastien decided to send a note to Annah when the servant brought his dinner. In it, he kindly asked for the chaperoning, explaining that it was for the good of the child. He stressed not to say anything to Véronique, because he did not want her embarrassed. Embarrassed, ha! He doubted if a wagon full of buck naked men playing with themselves would embarrass that vixen!
The next morning, Annah arrived at a quarter to nine, thanking Gastien for his foresight.
“Annah, you don’t have to thank me. I have heard it is common for young women to get ideas about one man or another. Please don’t think she has done anything too forward to me. I can just sense that she is a little too interested. I would be more comfortable with you here.”
Annah nodded. “I remember when I was Véronique’s age. I thought I was wildly in love with a young man who came to our estate to teach us French. Oh, my, he was so different from our family! I thought everything about him was wonderful, of course. Things could have gotten quite awful had he not been a gentleman. This is for the best, I am sure.”
Fifteen minutes later, Véronique sauntered in with her bodice pulled down low again. She stopped in her tracks when she saw her mother. ”M-m-mother! What are you doing here?” she stuttered.
Gastien hid his smile. It did him a world of good to see Véronique put in her place.
Annah stood. Without a word, she walked over to Véronique, pulled her bodice up to the appropriate height, and scolded, “I see that you must have dressed in a hurry this morning, Véronique. You must make sure in the future to check your clothing before you come to Gastien’s door. We would not want to make him so uncomfortable that he decides to leave us, would we?”
Véronique composed herself. “Non, of course not, Mother. You are right. I was in a hurry.” She turned and nodded to Gastien. “Bonjour, Gastien. Is your headache better today?”
Gastien nodded back. “Oui, merci. I got a good night’s sleep and this morning it was gone.” He walked over. “Shall we start? Do you remember your position?” he asked sweetly.
She glared at him. “Oui. Let’s begin.”
Annah smiled at Gastien softly and winked. Gastien went back to his easel. This would be much better. He painted for about twenty minutes, finally stating, “Véronique. Please. You look like a thundercloud today. Could you think of pleasant things? It will make a much nicer painting.”
She glared at him again. “What exactly would you suggest I think of then?” she said evenly.
Gastien stretched. “I don’t know, but surely you know what things give you pleasure. Think of one of those.”
She stared at him a minute. “All right, Gastien. I will think of something that I would enjoy very much. Hopefully that will give you the picture that you need. Do you need to know what I am thinking about?” she asked innocently.
Gastien smiled. “That is not necessary, but if you wish to share it, you can. The time will go faster for you if there is conversation. Perhaps you would like to discuss fashion with your mother, or something else females care to talk about, while I paint.”
“Why would you want to hear about fashion?” she said sullenly.
“I don’t. The talking is for you. I will not really be listening. I am caught up in doing what I love.”
Véronique sat in silence several minutes. Finally she could take it no more. “Mother? Why did you decide to chaperone me? Are you going to be here every day? I am not a baby.”
Annah raised her eyebrows. “Non, you are not a baby. You are not a woman yet, either, with a level head on her shoulders. I just decided it was wrong to have you alone in a man’s cottage. I will be here for the duration.”
“Lovely,” mumbled Véronique.
“I am so glad that you approve. Now, let’s talk about the Noël ball that you have been invited to this year.” Annah and Gastien met eyes, and Gastien nodded his thanks. The rest of the day passed uneventfully.
VI
Annah made good on her promise. She was there as chaperone every day. Véronique’s portrait would be done by Noël. Jean Luc and Annah aske
d Gastien to join them for Noël dinner. He declined, saying the day was for family, but Jean Luc insisted, saying Gastien was like a son to him.
Jean Luc had continued to come to visit many evenings. The two of them also fenced together regularly. Gastien really admired and looked up to Jean Luc. Gastien blossomed from finally having a father figure in his life. He trusted Jean Luc even more as time went on.
One evening, he even told Jean Luc about his childhood. Once he started, he found he could not stop. They sat until the early hours of the morning, with Gastien pouring out all of the details. The beatings, the verbal abuse, his feelings of rejection, and how it hurt that he could never please his father. How much he wished he could see his mother again. Gastien was embarrassed to find that he was crying by the time he finally ran out of words. He had not even told Jean Luc about the struggles in Paris yet!
Jean Luc listened attentively. At one point, he got up to pour them each a whiskey. “Here, Gastien. This will make you feel a little warmer. You are shivering, you are so emotionally worked up,” soothed Jean Luc.
Gastien took the drink. “Merci. Whiskey is always good for warming up the insides.” He drank, continuing on. At the end, Jean Luc simply stood and moved over to Gastien.
“My dear son, it is ok. I understand.” He gathered Gastien tenderly in his arms. “Please, don’t be sad, Gastien. All of that is over. You have a real father now, if you want me. As I have said, you are like a son to me, and I love you.”
Gastien nodded. After a few minutes, he pulled back. “Jean Luc I am sorry I acted like such a baby. A fine son I make for you!” He looked away, embarrassed.
Jean Luc just laughed softly. “Gastien, you had a very hard childhood. You are not acting like a baby. You needed to get that out or it would eat at you until you were sick. I am glad that you think enough of me that I was the one you confided in. You can trust me. You are exactly what I would want in a son. Exactly.” Jean Luc embraced Gastien again, petting his hair. “Compose yourself now. In a minute we will have one last drink, with a cigarette if you wish. Then I will say goodnight.” He pulled back. “How does that sound?”
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