Dr. Morel did look inside as well as he could, which was not far. From what he could see, there was bleeding from overuse but no tearing all the way through. God only knew if that was the case any further up. He decided he should feel in there to see if his finger went through a tear.
“Gastien? I am going to have to insert my finger into your rectum, as far as I can. Do you understand that I am not going to be sexually using you? It is my finger, and it is to see if you are ripped.”
Gastien nodded and whispered his consent.
“Merci. Easy does it. He put on a glove. Using some oil he gently explored as far as he could. Gastien had tensed up at first. Now he was motionless. The doctor imagined this was nothing compared to what he been feeling last night. He did not feel any holes or rips. That was good.
“Well, I don’t feel anything bad, Gastien. I know you must be very tender, though. I am going to remove my finger now. Don’t panic when you feel the movement. Do you understand?”
“Oui.” Gastien wondered if there would ever be an end to the feelings of shame and humiliation he was enduring.
“Here we go.” Unfortunately, he had irritated the raw canal. It was bleeding some again. He got out some salve, rubbing it up in there. “Gastien, I am afraid of infection because you have open skin. Obviously, this is a part of the body that is quite dirty. I am going to give you a bottle of oregano oil to take three times a day, 1/8 teaspoon in a tall glass of water. That will help keep it from infecting. Make sure you eat something first, because otherwise you will have awful burning in the stomach and chest. I will also write that down. I will bring more back with me when I return later. Let’s get you turned over again. Then we can get your hip put back in place.” He got Gastien turned over and gave him a minute to rest.
Gastien asked him somberly, “Am I going to die?”
“Non, I don’t think you are. I don’t know if there is damage further up, but what I checked out is intact. You are very lucky, judging from the bruising. You were used very savagely.”
“I don’t feel very lucky right now, doctor. However, I am glad I won’t be dying. Although, last night I would have liked to.”
“I understand. I bet you endured an awful lot. I want you to tell me about it this evening when I return. All of it.”
“I can’t do that. I just can’t. Knowing the details won’t change things.”
“Non, it won’t. But it helps me know your mental state if I know a few things, how many there were, how many times, things like that.
Gastien looked away. “There were five,” he said so softly that Dr. Morel barely heard.
“All five of them used you?” Dr. Morel inquired, shocked.
“More than once. Some, more than twice. Please. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Understood. But, sometime soon you should talk about it, with me or someone else you can trust.”
Gastien was silent. He was not going to talk about this again if he could help it. What good would it do to relive it? “I am ready for my hip now.”
Dr. Morel smiled. “Oh, you think so, do you? Well, unfortunately it will hurt quite badly. I don’t want to scare you, but I want you to be prepared. Would you like some morphine first? I have some with me.”
“Oui. I don’t know how much more pain I can take.”
The doctor gave him morphine, waiting about fifteen minutes for it to start working. “How are you feeling now, Gastien?”
“Very well, merci beaucoup! The pain is there, but it is like I am floating above it.”
“Oui. That is how morphine works. Try to think about something pleasant. Do not fight me. I only want to do this once, because of the proximity to your spine. Ready? On three. One…two…three!” and he twisted Gastien's hip back into place. Gastien cried out loudly, but the morphine had helped him quite a bit. Waiting a few minutes, Dr. Morel asked, “Can you move your legs?” Gastien moved his legs. The doctor said a prayer of thanks. The young man was not paralyzed.
Then, Dr. Morel inquired, “Did they drug you or anything? I need to know before I give you something more to sleep.”
“Oui. They put something in my vin. It made me very uncoordinated and dizzy.”
“What time was that?”
“I would say I finished the glass of vin by eight o’clock.”
“Good. Quite a bit of time has passed. I can give you some herbs that will help you sleep, along with the morphine you took. You will be out until this evening. Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
“Oui.”
“Then I will help you there. We can see how that hip is working, can’t we?”
Gastien looked back in balance through the hip area. It was sore, but not burning like it had when it was out of place. After Gastien used the bathroom, the doctor helped him into his nightshirt and back to bed. He was given some crackers that the doctor carried for use before taking oregano oil. He ate the crackers first, taking the oil with a glass of water. He fell asleep quickly. The herbs kept him without nightmares.
When the doctor walked out the door, Jean Luc was waiting outside. “Look, I wish I did not even have to be civil with you, but for Gastien’s sake I do. He is badly beaten up. It may take him awhile to be able to get around on his own without supervision. I don’t want him out of the cottage until I say so. He does not want a servant with him because he is ashamed. He does not want you with him. My nurse is my daughter, who knows him, so he is embarrassed to have her see him. He will sleep until I return tonight. We can discuss his care then.”
Dr. Morel looked at Jean Luc with disgust. “I hope I don’t have to tell you to leave your hands off of him for the remainder of his time here. From what I understand, you were paying him for services. I suggest you continue your payments, regardless of the fact that you will no longer be using those services. He was counting on that money, and I would say he has earned it. If you don’t, I will embarrass you in this whole community. I will make it my life’s goal. Do you understand?”
Jean Luc drew himself up. “Are you threatening me?”
The doctor stood his ground. “Oui. I am.”
Jean Luc backed down. He did not want the business community knowing about this or about himself. “Fine. I was planning on paying him anyway. I would not have made him do anything with me anymore.”
“Oh, I just bet not. Just for the record, you and your friends deserve to rot in hell. I hope you one day all die of syphilis. And I hope to God none of you has it already, or you have signed Gastien’s death warrant.”
Jean Luc was indignant. “I bet you pardon? I do NOT have syphilis, and neither do my friends!”
“Really? Do you know who your “friends” have had sex with?”
Jean Luc gulped. He really did not know. Oh mon Dieu, what if he had killed Gastien after all?
The doctor continued, “I didn’t think so. Your so called “friends” are monsters, predators who live to hurt the powerless. It has nothing to do with sexual preference. Unfortunately, there are also heterosexuals who do the same to powerless women. I would like to see every one of them put to death. You, too, if you were a participant.”
“Non! I would never hurt Gastien! They tricked me and locked me out of the room!” Jean Luc cried.
The doctor looked at him coldly. “I don’t want to hear anything more about it from you. You and your wealthy friends will go free, simply because of your money. But, you already know that.” Dr. Morel shook his head in disgust.
“Hopefully, you will all have to answer when you leave this world. I will be back at eight o’clock. That gives Gastien plenty of time to sleep. Let’s see how he is by then. After that, I will figure out how much care he will need. I want a soft meal delivered for him at that time. I expect you to honor his wishes if he bans you totally from that cottage. And, I repeat, if you have any decency at all in you, then you will let him be for the rest of his time here. He has had a hard enough life so far.”
With that, he turned to get in the
waiting carriage.
V
After he had left, Jean Luc did go in the cottage to make sure Gastien was alive. Gastien was sleeping soundly. He looked awful from all of the bruising. Jean Luc was ashamed. He began to cry as he walked the long drive to his house. How did this get so out of control? He would do anything, anything to make sure that Gastien felt that things were made right. Unfortunately, he just couldn’t see how anything could make that happen.
That night when the doctor returned, Gastien had just awakened. The doctor encouraged him to eat his meal, which he did. Next, Dr. Morel checked for bleeding again. He helped Gastien to the bathroom once more. He also made sure that Gastien took more oregano oil and drank water. Gastien was still pretty stunned, so the doctor decided to just make sure he went to sleep for the night. They could talk tomorrow about recovery. He gave Gastien more morphine and sleeping herbs.
Gastien did not talk much that night, but his color looked better, at least on the side of his face where he was not bruised. The doctor felt that a good night’s sleep would do him a world of good. He was afraid to leave him alone all night, so he stayed on the sofa. This way he could check on him periodically. He would also hear him if he cried out.
Gastien slept through the night. It did not surprise Dr. Morel, because the young man had to be both physically and emotionally exhausted. In the morning, although he looked much worse because of the darkening of his bruises, he was actually much better. His mind was much clearer, plus he could manage to get up and around the cottage by himself. Gastien decided to stop taking the morphine. Instead, he asked Dr. Morel if he would get him more hashish. Since hashish was legal, the doctor felt that was a better solution than the continued use of prescribed morphine.
By the time noon came on Sunday, Gastien was eating well. He felt he would be fine staying alone in the cottage, with the doctor checking on him around noon and again in the evening. Dr. Morel was pleased with the progress.
On Monday morning, Gastien was sitting by the fire reading when Jean Luc knocked on the door. Gastien did not open the door when he saw who it was. He simply stared at the older man for a few minutes. Then he said, “We need to talk.”
Jean Luc was relieved. He did not want it to end this way. When he was let in, he immediately went to put his arms around Gastien. Gastien grabbed Jean Luc’s arms and held them, saying, “Non. You will not touch me again.”
Jean Luc looked at Gastien with sad eyes. “I was only going to hold you! My heart hurts badly from what I allowed to happen to you, Gastien. I am so ashamed! I can’t believe how things got so out of control.”
Gastien went to sit in a chair, motioning Jean Luc to sit on the sofa. His voice was cold.
“Do you remember that you wanted to call it off? You even offered me the studio for free. Do you remember?”
“Oui. I remember. I truly wanted it called off, Gastien. I thought it was! Dear God, I should have known better than to invite people who I had not known that long into something like this. I had no idea they would deceive me! Gastien, I asked them to bring something for your vin to calm you down a little. I knew you would be scared. I stressed not to use too much. They did that on their own,” Jean Luc pleaded.
Gastien just shook his head. “While that may be true, none of this would have happened had you not planned it in the first place. I was almost killed, Jean Luc! Those men raped me repeatedly! I had never, NEVER agreed to being used like that! I want more than the money for that. I want the studio, too. I want both floors.”
Gastien stopped to get himself calmer and then continued, “I can describe what you and your friends look like. A few of you I can describe in intimate detail. There will be no mistake I am telling the truth. Nothing may be done about it, due to your wealth, but everyone will know. That will ruin you and any of your friends who are looked up to in your society. Make no mistake, I will do that, unless you agree to give the studio to me. I have more than earned it.”
Jean Luc did not even argue. “I agree,” he said resignedly. “I will have the papers drawn up tomorrow.” He rubbed his eyes, sighing in resignation. “Gastien, once you are feeling better, will you stay to finish the painting? My family will wonder what happened to you as it is, but if you leave, they will wonder more.”
“I agreed to do the painting and I will. That is, as long as you don’t touch me. That is over. Do you understand?” asked Gastien firmly.
“I understand.” Jean Luc looked miserable. “Again, I am sorry, Gastien.”
Gastien stood up. “Please go now. I am tired. I want to be left alone for at least a week to just heal. Do not come here, except to bring me the papers to sign. I want an avocate and Dr. Morel present when I do. I also want written into the papers that if anything happens to the building during my lifetime it will be fully replaced at no cost to me. I do not trust you. As for the portrait, when I am ready to paint, I will let you know.”
“That is a lot to ask, Gastien. Why should I be responsible for replacing your building if something happens to it?”
“Because so far in life, nothing has been as it appears when I first see it. You could destroy my building just to hurt me.”
“I would never do that, although by now I understand why you feel you have no reason to trust me. I will do as you wish. I don’t want any of this to get out, and I do want you to feel safe.” Jean Luc walked to the door.
“Oh, and Jean Luc?”
“Oui.”
“I don’t believe your contrite act. This is your fault. You set it up. The only reason you tried to call it off was to look good to me. You knew they would not go for it. You just did not know they would rape me. Then you were afraid for yourself. When I called out for help, there was no one to help me.”
“Sébastien said he would kill you, and me too, if I did not shut up,” argued Jean Luc.
“Then why didn’t you go get the police, if you truly cared about me?”
Jean Luc could not answer. He hung his head.
“I will tell you why,” continued Gastien, “it is because you are a coward. And because in some twisted way, you thought I deserved this because I would not love you. You promised my safety, but when I called out for you there was no answer! You can never make up for what happened to me! Never! I despise you, Jean Luc!”
Jean Luc did not answer. He simply left.
The next day, Dr. Morel arrived along with Jean Luc and an avocate. The papers were ready to be signed. Gastien read them carefully. They were exactly the way he had asked them to be. He had also requested a copy for each person present. After he had signed all four copies the other men followed suit. There was an official mark put on all of them. When Jean Luc gave him the keys, Gastien did not thank him.
Gastien then requested that he be driven to his bank. He wanted his copy in his bank box. Dr. Morel did not think he should be moving around that much, but Gastien insisted. He did not want anything to happen to his copy. Dr. Morel said he would come with him to make sure he did not become too weak. Jean Luc would have a very large doctor bill to pay for all of the time Dr. Morel was putting in. Jean Luc did not say a word about it. He knew better.
Once the driver arrived, Gastien turned to Jean Luc. “If you ever try to touch me again I will kill you.” His eyes were cold, his face expressionless as he joined the doctor and the avocate in the carriage.
Upon his arrival at the bank, he took out some money, put his copy of the deed in the box, and left. He told Dr. Morel he would be able to get back to the cottage, but the doctor was having none of it. “You are not collapsing on my watch,” the doctor said firmly. Once the doctor saw him home, seated at the table eating lunch, he left. Dr. Morel would still visit twice a day for at least a few days.
The rest of the week passed without incident. Gastien hurt terribly, but he knew he was extremely lucky that he had not died or ended up with major permanent injuries. Bruises and sore body parts would eventually heal. He still looked awful, though. Whenever he looked in the mirr
or, he smiled sadly. If only women could see him now! They would not find him so enticing.
VI
By the time Saturday came Gastien had made arrangements for a cabriolet to take him to Montmartre. He billed it to Jean Luc. Dr. Morel had reluctantly given his blessing to take the trip, provided that Gastien would not do any physical work when he got there. Gastien wanted to hire a locksmith to change the locks. He did not trust that Jean Luc had not kept a set of keys. He had not had time to let Mic know he was coming, but he was sure he would find him at the communal studio or the park. He was right. He had the driver go in and get him.
Mic ran out, happily jumping into the carriage. When he saw Gastien he drew back in horror. “Mon Dieu! Oh, Gaz! What in hell happened to you?”
“Bar fight,” Gastien said simply.
“Bar fight? You are not a person that gets into bar fights! I have never seen you do that.”
“Well, it appears there is always a first time. It will be the last, believe me.” Gastien tried to smile.
“I sure hope so! I don’t have to tell you that if you keep this up, your sex life will greatly suffer. I can’t imagine a woman that would not be scared to death of you right now!”
Gastien tried to laugh, but it hurt. “Oui, I think it will be awhile before I have any company other than my hand. Even my hand requests that the gas lights be turned off before servicing me.”
They both chuckled. Then Mic said, “So, you obviously are not here for fun. What’s up? Will you be coming permanently soon? I miss you, Gaz.”
“I want to show you something, Mic. I want to show you my studio,” Gastien said quietly.
“Your studio?” Mic asked, puzzled. “You mean you already found one to lease? Good for you! I hope you were paid well this past year, if you are planning on living alone.”
Gastien was silent as the driver took them to the building. When the cabriolet stopped, Gastien simply stated, “We are here. I hate to ask, but will you help me down? I got hit hard in the gut.”
Gastien Pt 1 Page 37