by Rachel White
Beside him, Lieutenant Taarq appeared to feel the same; he pushed himself off the railing in a graceful movement, swinging his long arms and rolling his head on his neck. "Are you tired? You're welcome to sleep for a while. There will be more to do later today but not immediately."
"I don't think I can sleep."
"Fair enough." Lieutenant Taarq sighed. "I can have someone bring you tea…?"
"Would you play khas with me?"
"Ah. Yes, of course. I'll have my board brought up."
While Lieutenant Taarq arranged for the board, Rallis seized the opportunity to relieve himself and wash the grime of travel off his body. He emerged back into the main room feeling cleaner but no less antsy and found Lieutenant Taarq kneeling before the table with the khas board laid out in front of him. It was the same one he had in Adesa. Something about that display of loyalty charmed Rallis, soothing some of the ache sitting low in his chest. They set it up in tandem and began the game without speaking.
"It's very important that you convince the Suulsen to pardon you," said Lieutenant Taarq after a while, moving his piece hon kerr. He would lose this game: ten minutes in and he was already sabotaging himself, playing too defensively. He was nervous. "That's the only way you'll survive."
"Suul Thrun is Suulsen-dama, isn't he?" The Suulsen-dama, according to Orun, was the leader of the Suulsen, the elected representative for all two hundred elected representatives. His position was one of the most powerful in Jev. Even the empress couldn't always stand up to him.
"Yes."
Rallis placed an unnae kuul ved. "He can just tell the others to vote for execution. I don't see how two weeks will make a difference."
Lieutenant Taarq redirected his efforts to the south, realizing, as Rallis had, that his territory in the west was essentially dead. "There's more nuance than that. They're not his slaves. Each Suul operates independently."
"But he has influence over them."
"Some of them dislike him immensely."
"Do they?" He placed his piece betre pior. It wasn't a very good game—Lieutenant Taarq was too anxious to play well, and he was too tired—but at least it kept his mind on something other than Naravi, surrounded by enemies with no one but the man he loathed to protect him. Destined for torture and execution when he inevitably broke. "Are there enough of them to make a difference?"
"I hope so."
"That's not heartening."
He meant it in jest, but Lieutenant Taarq looked sincerely upset. "I'm sorry. I know—"
"It was a joke."
"Ah." As far as Rallis could tell, Lieutenant Taarq's next move was random. "Later…I expect you'll want to rest for a while, but later I'll introduce you to some associates of mine. Some of them are Suul. Many of them support the Empress over Suul Thrun. They'll be glad to meet you."
"That's fine."
The conversation trailed off as they turned their attention to the board. It was an ugly game, like pulling teeth. Lieutenant Taarq's fumbling anxiety crashed against Rallis's exhausted sloppiness, so that it was almost an even match, both of them playing as poorly as novices. Orun's spirit was probably wincing in shame, somewhere in Athonya's land.
Rallis's next move drove his forces into the center of Lieutenant Taarq's only live territory, cracking it down the middle. "Davinna. Your stronghold is broken."
"It is," said Lieutenant Taarq softly, looking down at the board. After a moment, he gave Rallis a tired half-smile. "You never go easy on me."
"You won't improve if I do."
"I'm sorry this game wasn't better. I hope you're less unsettled."
Rallis was more unsettled than ever. He felt as though he was going to jump right out of his own skin, leaving it behind him like a discarded cocoon. "I'm fine. Lieutenant Taarq…"
"Yes?"
"What you said before…"
Lieutenant Taarq blinked. His eyelashes were long and tar-dark, a striking contrast to his eyes. "Which?"
"You're in love with me."
"Yes."
"I… What do we do?" Rallis demanded, vaguely aware that he had switched to Adesi. "I don't know what to do now. Do we… We can't be together."
Can we? He wanted to add, but his traitorous tongue wouldn't form the words. Into the silence that followed, Lieutenant Taarq said, "No. We can't."
His decisiveness hardened Rallis's own resolve. "It's not wise."
"You need to focus on surviving the next fortnight."
Rallis's stomach turned. "And if we do end up dying, you don't want to be tied to me."
"I would walk myself to the gallows if it meant you would be safe," said Lieutenant Taarq steadily, "but that won't help now. The only thing you should care about is winning over enough of the Suulsen that they vote to stay your execution. Romance might…jeopardize that. They might see you as manipulative. Or not. I don't know." He stared at his hands. "I'm overwhelmed. I'm not…political." Rallis knew that already. Sincere and straightforward, always earnestly trying to do the right thing, Lieutenant Taarq would drown in politics. "My plan to protect you has only made things worse. I'm sorry. I should have just stayed out of your life."
You brought him to the motherhouse.
Rallis didn't want to think about that. He touched Lieutenant Taarq's hand instead, making him start. "I…would miss you."
"Rallis—"
"I don't know either. We might die. For now, will you just…stay with me? I can't do this alone." The words were rushing up Rallis's throat, pouring out of his mouth. He couldn't stop them. "I don't know how. But I need you here. You're the only sane person in this country."
Lieutenant Taarq sighed a laugh. "I don't know if that's true. But I'll stay with you, if you'll have me."
"Yes."
"Two weeks." Lieutenant Taarq's hand covered his own, warm and steady. He would take off his gloves again, if Rallis asked, but Rallis didn't dare. The hurt and longing between them were already almost unbearable. To subject them both to the touch of skin on skin…
"That's how long you have to manage for now," Lieutenant Taarq continued. "Most of the Suulsen are reasonable. Just don't let Suul Thrun and his allies bait you and you should… I hope…"
"I know."
Gently, Lieutenant Taarq withdrew his hand. "You should sleep. It's going to be a long few days."
And suddenly Rallis was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. "I will," he mumbled, rising and staggering toward the sleeping chamber. He reached the bed and collapsed onto it, too exhausted to strip down. Vaguely, he was aware of Lieutenant Taarq rustling around in the main room, probably putting away the khas board, but sleep was already swallowing him and he couldn't even appreciate Lieutenant Taarq's presence.
I'll stay with you, if you'll have me. Lieutenant Taarq, Rallis knew, hadn't only been talking about the next two weeks. No, he had been talking about much more than that, and the emotions the words brought about—terror and anticipation, longing, desperate, heady need—haunted his dreams, turning them restless and hungry, full of figures with daggers for teeth and bone-white skin and glinting, pale eyes.
Chapter Thirteen
When he awoke again, there was no sign of Lieutenant Taarq. The doorway was empty and the sleeping chamber was still and quiet. Half-asleep and disoriented, nursing a pounding headache, Rallis shuffled out to the main room of the apartment and stopped short at the sight of a young woman in a legionnaire's uniform lounging on the couch. She had one leg thrown over the armrest and was playing with what appeared to be a children's toy.
"Excuse me," said Rallis, "who are you?"
"Hmm?" The woman glanced over her shoulder and grinned at him. He had never seen a legionnaire act so casually before, but if she was embarrassed at being caught, she gave no sign of it. She didn't even put down the toy, a little replica flier with adjustable parts. "Ah, you're up, are you?"
"Who are you? What time is it? Where's Lieutenant Taarq?"
She leapt gracefully to her feet and bowed. "Legionnaire Al
eena Saura," she said. "It's just past thirteen o'clock. I'm your alternate guard. Did I miss anything?"
"Alternate guard?"
"Even Lieutenant Taarq needs to sleep. Are you hungry?"
"Yes," said Rallis, watching her pace around the room. She was the youngest legionnaire he had seen, hardly older than Naravi, with a thin, cheerful face and hair in tight braids against her scalp. Although her movements were sharply precise, evidence of years of legionnaire training, she seemed so full of energy she nearly vibrated in place when she stood still.
"I called for food," she told him, dropping back onto the couch. "Ah, I don't envy you, that's the truth. I'm amazed you even slept. What's it like in Adesa? Is it true you can fall into the center of the world if the hole is deep enough?"
"I don't think so—" Rallis began, but a knock on the door interrupted him before he could ask what she meant. He watched her take a tray of food from another legionnaire and set it carefully on the table in the center of the room.
She gestured him closer. "Lunch. I asked for simple things."
Simple things turned out to be porridge, cooked sausages, a variety of familiar and unfamiliar fruits, a kind of soft bread baked in rounds, and tea with milk and a little jar of a thick, golden syrup Rallis initially assumed was honey, until he began to add it to his cup and Legionnaire Saura said, "I wouldn't! That's rhhev."
He eyed the jar. "What's rhhev?"
"It's a Jevite flavoring." She plucked it from his hands and dipped her spoon in the jar, holding it out to him. "Try it before you add it. It's…an acquired taste."
He dabbed a little on his finger to try and regretted it instantly. It was one of the foulest things he had ever tasted, intensely bitter and salty, with a sour aftertaste that coated his mouth. He winced—Legionnaire Saura laughed—and downed his tea in a single swallow to try and rid himself of the flavor.
"I warned you," she said, taking a prim sip of her own tea. "Most Jevites can't handle it. It's rather old-fashioned. My grandmother made her own rhhev every month. She insisted I drink it whenever I visited. Said it would turn me into an elegant lady." She laughed grimly. "Shows what she knows."
Rallis laughed despite himself and started in on the food, realizing with the first bites that he was ravenous. Though the textures were strange and flavors milder and sweeter than he was used to on Adesa, his stomach was turning itself inside out from hunger.
Legionnaire Saura watched with an amused glint in her eye. For a moment, he was afraid it was contempt—perhaps she felt he was gorging himself like an animal?—but she didn't seem a very contemptuous sort. Maybe she was just interested.
As they ate, they talked—Legionnaire Saura turned out to be both immensely chatty and ferociously curious. Unashamed of being nosy, she came close to interrogating him about his time on Adesa, clearly trying to memorize everything he told her. In turn, he learned that she was nineteen, that she had never left Jev, that she was supposed to have gone with Lieutenant Taarq—who was her commanding officer—when he traveled to Adesa after the treaty was signed, only to break her shoulder two days before they set out and be held back on Jev, and that she was desperate to see what it was like on Lyr. Despite his instinctive wariness, he found himself relaxing, answering her questions with his own.
At the sound of the door, he and Legionnaire Saura both turned in time to see Lieutenant Taarq step inside. He was still in uniform, but looked cleaner and more alert than before, so Rallis guessed he had also rested for a while.
"Lieutenant Taarq," said Legionnaire Saura, rising and bowing. "Citizen Yy is having lunch. Should I have something brought for you?"
"No need. I already ate. Thank you, Legionnaire Saura. You're dismissed."
She saluted. "Thank you, lieutenant. Citizen Yy, good luck."
"Thank you," Rallis mumbled as she left, not before lingering momentarily in the doorway to wink at him. Lieutenant Taarq watched her go and then sighed and shook his head, though he was smiling.
"She's a work in progress," he told Rallis, taking the seat Legionnaire Saura had vacated.
"She's very…talkative."
"Indeed. I recommended her as your alternate guard," Lieutenant Taarq told him. "I thought…you would get along."
Strange warmth filled Rallis's chest. "That's kind of you."
"How are you feeling?"
"Better. Still tired."
"I'm sure. Do you need anything? Clothes, food…?"
"I'm all right. Legionnaire Saura brought food already."
"Ah." Lieutenant Taarq inspected the spread on the table. "I hope you didn't accidentally eat any rhhev. It's foul."
He looked startled when Rallis laughed, but joined in after a moment, pouring himself tea. "How are you doing?" he asked.
"Less tired."
"I'm glad."
"So, now what?" Rallis asked him. "What happens for the next two weeks? Do we just…wait?"
Lieutenant Taarq stirred his tea thoughtfully. "Just waiting isn't enough. Suul Thrun desperately wants you to be executed."
"Why?"
"Like I said, he wants to destroy Adesa," said Lieutenant Taarq candidly. "The more he can bring people to his side, the easier it will be for him to push forward his ideas. You and your cousin represent a great deal of anger and fear on both sides of this fight. To many, your future is Adesa's future."
Rallis's head was going to burst. "Fantastic."
"It's not…an ideal position. I'm—"
"Don't apologize again."
He got a wan smile in response. "I'm not trying to alarm you. I just…you should know where things stand."
"And where is that?"
Lieutenant Taarq's expression turned cunning. "The Empress has managed to win us two weeks. We'll use that time to pull out Suul Thrun's teeth."
It was quite the vivid image. Though Rallis wasn't as bloodthirsty as Naravi, he couldn't complain at the picture his mind produced. "How will we do that?"
"Suul Thrun is very wealthy and powerful and has many connections. He already has a portion of the Suulsen inclined to vote with him regardless of the topic in question. There's no point in reaching out to them, as it's very unlikely they'll change their minds." Lieutenant Taarq set his teacup down on the table before them, resting his chin on his palm thoughtfully. "And grand speeches only go so far. This is a different strategy. If you meet small groups of Suulsen, you might…"
"Woo them?" said Rallis acerbically.
"Help them realize that you're a real person. It's easy, listening to Suul Thrun talk, to forget that he's talking about other people. He's very eloquent. People hear him warn about the dangers of Adesa and the Adesi become monsters in their minds. But if they met you, personally, they would see that there were no monsters involved in any of this. If you win them over one by one, we might be able to hold him off."
"You're pinning a great deal of hope on my charming personality."
"I think your personality is very charming," Lieutenant Taarq murmured.
Heat rushed to Rallis's cheeks. "Well, then, all we need is for the entire Suulsen to be in love with me and we'll be set."
As soon as he spoke, he regretted it, sure he had gone too far, but Lieutenant Taarq blinked and then laughed, the bright, sincere, boyish laugh Rallis hadn't heard from him since before everything started. "Not all of them," he said, grinning. "Only a hundred and five."
"That's much more manageable."
"Why don't we start with three or four?"
His voice held an odd note. "Do you have something in mind?" Rallis asked.
"I know people who support Adesa. I arranged…it's just a small gathering. Some officers and civilians who want peace. A few Suulsen. I thought it would work to introduce you and your cousin to them as a starting place, get you used to speaking with Jevites. These men are already on your side, so there's little pressure. You just need to meet people individually," said Lieutenant Taarq again, as though reassuring himself. "If they know you…"
"R
ight."
"I know it's not ideal."
"It's fine," Rallis assured him. "I put you in a hard position. I appreciate…I appreciate everything that you've done for me. You didn't need to do it."
Lieutenant Taarq blinked languidly. Nur's heart, he was so handsome, his pale eyes against the darkness of his skin, his sensitive mouth, his fine, sharp features, the elegant way he held himself and the strength and grace that lay coiled within him at all times. And he was in love with Rallis. Every time the thought rose in his mind, it overwhelmed him.
"I did, though," said Lieutenant Taarq simply, and Rallis was lost all over again.
*~*~*
After the meal, Rallis washed and dressed in the clothes Lieutenant Taarq arranged for him: dark, staid Jevite trousers and a high-collared jacket that creaked when he moved. When he looked in the mirror, his father's face looked back at him. Normally, Rallis felt his features were an even mixture of Adesi and Jevite, but now he looked almost fully Jevite. The thought made his stomach ache. After a moment, he realized it was homesickness.
Lieutenant Taarq stared at him when he returned to the main room. "You look…"
"Ridiculous?"
"Handsome. And different. I'm not used to seeing you in Jevite clothes."
"I'm not used to wearing them," Rallis told him, raising his arms and making the jacket creak again. "These things are hard to move in. How do you manage?"
"Practice. Shall we?"
He indicated the door with a half-bow and Rallis obediently made his way into the corridor, which was empty and echoing and so blazing white—white tile floors, white stone walls, arching white ceilings overhead—his eyes ached. Lieutenant Taarq's white uniform against the background was uncanny. If Rallis squinted, he blended so perfectly with the scenery it was like his head was floating on its own six feet above the ground.
"Are you all right?"
Rallis blinked back to the moment and found Lieutenant Taarq watching him cautiously. "Yes. Just…thinking."
"Of course. This way."
They went down the hallway and turned left at the first intersection, entering a larger corridor with more traffic. Legionnaires in uniform and palace officials were going about their daily business but paused and stared as Lieutenant Taarq and Rallis passed. There were some scowls, and a few of the legionnaires let their hands drift toward the pulses holstered their waists, but most of the attention seemed only curious. He was like a strange animal in a menagerie.