Forbidden Fire

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by Bonnie K. Winn


  Once inside the saloon, she breathed a sigh of relief coupled with one of regret. After slowly easing out of her day dress, she pulled on a wrapper and cinched it before moving to the window. People spilled out of the smithy and livery stable, talking and laughing. While she longed to be part of them, Katherine knew she would be courting dangerous ground. If they suspected her changed relationship with Jake, his ministry would be finished. And if she remained near him, she would lose her own resolve. She had been a fool to think she could have a normal life. And worse, she’d made Jake part of her delusion.

  Dropping the curtain back in place, Katherine turned to prepare for the evening ahead. She stared at the long rows of clothing. The wardrobe in her room contained a multitude of dresses, ones she considered more like costumes than clothing. She kept a separate group of clothes that were both more simple and modest than what she wore on social occasions. But it wasn’t that selection of dresses she turned to. Tonight was business. Selecting an evening dress of black Chambery gauze with gold-colored stripes, she touched the black silk underneath. The new fan train introduced by Worth was as eye-catching as the square neck that would reveal her neck, shoulders, and a partially bared bosom.

  After a bath that did little to repair her frazzled nerves, she laid out fresh lingerie, a corset, and petticoats. Once dressed, Katherine swept her dark tresses into curls that trailed down her shoulders. She placed silk flowers in her hair that matched the scarlet and black trim on her dress.

  Clasping a ruby-red droplet necklace around her neck, she paused, touching the immense center stone. It had been a present from Morgan, and she hadn’t previously considered the significance of it. The layers of their relationship seemed to be unfolding at an alarming rate. She often wished it had stayed constant, that she wasn’t always wondering whether Morgan was doctoring the books or how her feelings for Jake had caused Morgan to cross a once clearly defined line. Sighing, she knew that their relationship had been forced to change because of the one she’d started with Jake. And more disturbing, she couldn’t have both.

  Looking in the cheval mirror, she checked her appearance one final time and headed downstairs. The gaming and billiard rooms had already filled with cowhands, their exuberant voices echoing throughout the building. The rattle and chink of glasses competed with the crowd, who talked simultaneously at the top of their voices. Smoke filled the air along with the girls’ laughter and the shouts of already drunken men.

  Katherine glanced at Vance, who was astounding some of the patrons with his ability to mix any drink they could dream up. Dressed in snowy white with a lustrous jewel glittering on his stiff shirtfront, he served up sours, sangarees, and cobblers to the amazement of cowhands who thought bourbon was the only drink to have. An Englishman who had ridden in the day before was still testing Vance’s ability to produce exotic drink combinations. Seeing Katherine, he tipped his hat in her direction. She smiled noncommittally in return. He seemed harmless enough, but she wasn’t taking any chances. The memory of being attacked hadn’t faded.

  Walking close enough to Morgan to see him dealing poker, she relaxed a bit. He seemed in good humor, excelling at his favorite game. The other men at the table were serious players, glancing up only long enough to appreciate her appearance before returning their attention to the cards. Morgan winked at her, and she felt a small bubble of relief. He was acting more like his old self, and fortunately Annette wasn’t clinging on his arm. Katherine was ambiguous about her feelings toward the girl. She wasn’t jealous, but still she hadn’t laid her suspicions about the girl to rest.

  Checking on the rest of the main room, she was satisfied that everything was in order. Signaling to the pianist that she was ready, Katherine took her place center stage, disliking as always the ready attention of the audience who quieted momentarily as soon as she appeared. After so many years, performing should have been as easy as slipping into an old shoe. Instead, distaste for her job grew with each song. Fencing unwanted attention, disregarding randy comments, and ignoring notoriety had become more than tiresome. She dreaded each performance and simply managed to endure every evening in the saloon. She was quite aware that living in this tiny town had reinforced her longing for a normal life.

  Launching into her first song, she tried to mentally remove herself from the stage. But an unusual amount of catcalls prevented her from doing so. The applause was deafening as she completed the first song and moved directly to the next. Glancing up, she saw a stirring near the double doors at the entry. The last words of her song were forgotten as she focused on the source of the commotion.

  Carpetbag in hand, Beth stood at the entrance of the saloon watching her sister in amazement. Horrified, Katherine swayed on the stage, unable to believe her eyes. Thinking more quickly, Morgan leapt to his feet and guided Katherine off the stage. The men booed and shouted in protest.

  “Drinks all around on the house!” Morgan shouted, steering Katherine toward Beth. Satisfied, the men lunged toward the bar, forgetting their entertainment for the moment.

  Beth still stood in the vacated rear of the saloon. Katherine drank up her sister’s chaste appearance. Dressed in a demure deep blue dress and traveling paletot, Beth was the picture of innocence. Dark hair, so like her own, was almost hidden beneath a practical bonnet. Huge eyes seemed to dwarf her face, and Katherine could just imagine the horror they concealed.

  “Katherine!” Beth propelled herself forward, flinging her arms around her sister. Katherine stood still, unable to banish the shame, unable to return Beth’s embrace. “I thought I’d never find you! My train arrived almost an hour ago. I hope it’s all right. I left my trunk at the mercantile. The proprietor said I could retrieve it in the morning.”

  The words swam in Katherine’s consciousness, but none of them penetrated. Beth was here. Sweet, protected Beth. What must she think?

  “I wasn’t expecting you,” Katherine managed to say, hearing her voice warble.

  Beth’s eyes were huge as she took in her surroundings. “Didn’t you receive my letter? I waited and waited to hear from you and when I didn’t, I posted a letter telling you I was coming to visit.” Moving quickly, Beth stepped aside as a rambunctious cowhand almost bowled her over. Righting her bonnet, she smiled at Katherine. “You needn’t be upset. The season was over.”

  Upset? The season? How could Beth stand and talk as though nothing was amiss?

  “And the ride on the train was so exciting. I couldn’t believe the miles and miles of land. It goes on forever and—”

  “I didn’t get your letter,” Katherine interjected.

  “Then you didn’t know I was coming?”

  If I had I would have closed the saloon down!

  “Katherine hasn’t introduced us, but I’m Morgan Tremaine.”

  “I’m so happy to meet you. A brother at last. Our family’s so small that I must adopt you immediately.”

  Katherine blanched, remembering that Beth thought Morgan was her husband.

  “It will be my pleasure,” Morgan replied, his unflappable calm in place. “As you can see, Katherine’s a bit dumbstruck by your appearance. She hadn’t expected such a delightful surprise.” He easily accepted Beth’s hand and then her sisterly kiss on the cheek.

  Wishing she could melt from sight along with the revealing dress she wore, Katherine couldn’t manage a smile. It was all she could do not to shriek in horror.

  “I just couldn’t wait any longer to meet you and to see Katherine again,” Beth bubbled.

  “Perhaps this reunion would be more private in the sitting room,” Morgan suggested, motioning to the cowhands who were making their way back to the tables, free drinks in hand.

  “Yes.” Katherine’s voice came out in a croak, and she sent a despairing look at Morgan. Calmly he led them through the crowd, opening the door and then closing it behind them.

  Alone with her sister, Katherine wanted to cry for all she’d hoped to accomplish and had now lost. “Why, Beth? Why didn’t you h
eed my words and remain in Boston?”

  Beth loosened the ribbons fastening her bonnet and pulled it from her head. She placed it with her gloves and parasol before fixing Katherine with her gaze. “Would you have kept me away forever, Katherine?”

  Dipping her head, Katherine couldn’t answer.

  “I see now why you’ve always visited me. Unless I’m very much mistaken, this isn’t a boardinghouse, Katherine.” Beth’s eyes were dark and unrelenting.

  “Of course it’s not. Now that you’re here, I can hardly hope to continue the charade. If you’d only stayed back East you could have settled into a good marriage, found the kind of—”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Katherine? Did you think I wouldn’t understand what you wanted to do with your life?”

  The arrow pierced deeper. So Beth hadn’t figured out the entire truth. She didn’t know she was the reason for Katherine’s profession.

  “I just wish you’d waited to hear from me.” To her own ears her reply sounded weak. Beth was even lovelier than the last time Katherine had seen her, and Katherine was taken aback to see how grown up she appeared.

  “And remain until you came to see me?” Beth smoothed the folds of her skirt. “Would you have brought Morgan to visit so I could meet him?”

  Katherine stared helplessly at her sister, wishing she could turn the clock back and undo the damage she’d caused.

  “I didn’t think so.” Beth smiled in understanding. “Katherine, if you two are happy, who am I to judge? I love you. I don’t care about the saloon or anything else.” Her innocent naïveté seemed out of place in light of their surroundings.

  “But your coming out and wedding—”

  “Any man I choose will have to accept that you’re my family. My only family. I don’t intend to give that up.” Beth’s words rang clear and true, and Katherine wondered suddenly where her determination sprang from.

  “What kind of man can you hope to have now that you know about all this?” Katherine gestured toward the plush furnishings of the Crystal Palace. The luxuriant theme carried through to the sitting room, suddenly seeming far too gaudy.

  “Any man worth having will look past that. If not, I simply won’t marry.”

  Katherine gasped aloud. She saw her plans for Beth disappearing rapidly. “There’s no need to reveal what you know.” Katherine clutched Beth’s hand. “You can go back East, forget about this, rejoin your circle and—”

  “Go back? I just escaped. Katherine, the parties were fun, but such empty-headed nonsense they expected us to worry about. The headmistress of my school fussed at me continually for reading instead of practicing the harp or improving my needlework.”

  Katherine swallowed her own dismay. She knew ladies of breeding were expected to master social niceties, not works of literature. “Beth, it may seem vain and silly now, but when you have your own house to run, you’ll see that you need all that the school has taught you.”

  “I’ve learned more on my trip here than in all my years at the academy,” Beth announced.

  It was just what Katherine feared. “You know you shouldn’t have traveled here alone.”

  “Katherine, sometimes you’re positively archaic. If I’d brought along a chaperon, I might never have gotten inside your doors.”

  “Now, that would have been a pity.” Katherine pressed a hand to her forehead, pushing at the nagging pain centered between her eyebrows.

  A resemblance of the young girl Beth had been surfaced as her voice turned into a soft plea. “Don’t you want to see me, Katherine?”

  Forgetting her headache and the consequences of Beth’s visit, Katherine hugged her fiercely. “You know I love you dearly and wish I could see you every day. I just don’t want you hurt.”

  “But life is different out here, Katherine. I doubt many of the women worry about balls and society affairs. They have real concerns to deal with.”

  Considering the tiny town surrounded by miles of vast open land, Katherine acknowledged a portion of Beth’s words as truth. “But values are deeply entrenched here, too.” Katherine bowed her head for a moment. “Don’t deceive yourself into believing that singing in a saloon is any more acceptable here than in the East.”

  “But—”

  “I see how mature you’ve become, but you’ll have to trust me on this matter. Despite your good intentions, coming here was a mistake.” Ignoring the hurt on her sister’s face, Katherine turned away. “After we’ve had a chance to visit, you’ll have to leave.” The words sliced into her, despite knowing how necessary they were. “There’s no place for you here, Beth.”

  Chapter 26

  Jake stared at David Browning in growing alarm. The boy’s miserable face hung downward, his narrow shoulders hunched forward.

  “Are you certain?” Jake asked the boy, pacing the confines of the porch while David sat numbly.

  “Yes, Reverend. What am I going to do?”

  Jake should know the answer, but he was as stumped as David. Seventeen years old and an expectant father. Jake could just imagine Able Browning and John Peterson’s reactions when they found out. He watched the boy twisting his hat into an unrecognizable wad. Pity, frustration, and a sense of dread gripped Jake. “Have you told your father yet?”

  Seeing the boy’s Adam’s apple working frantically, Jake wasn’t surprised to hear him blurt out his answer. “God, no! He’ll kill me.”

  “I don’t expect it’ll be that bad.” But Jake wasn’t sure. Able Browning was an unforgiving narrow-minded man with steadfast principles. Even though Jake knew it was his job to give encouragement, he expected the worst. “What do you want to do, David?”

  “Get married, of course. I love her, Reverend.” Despite the horrendous situation, the boy’s sincerity shone through his fright.

  Life would be difficult, but others had managed under the same circumstances. But, Jake reminded himself, they didn’t have fathers like Able Browning. “I know you love her, David. It’s something you’ll have to remember during the hard times.”

  “It can’t get any worse than this!”

  Jake contained his sigh, observing the boy’s incurable youthful exuberance—remembering his own. But all the experience and knowledge of his thirty-two years couldn’t be condensed and passed down in a few moments or a few months. David would have to learn his own painful lessons, and telling the boy his problems were just beginning wouldn’t help much. “Have you thought about getting a job?”

  “Mr. Middlekauf needs some help at the livery.” David sounded eager, proud of the prospect.

  Jake nearly groaned aloud. He could imagine David’s enterprising father’s reaction to a son shoveling stalls and hauling ash. “Where will you live?”

  David’s enthusiasm dimmed. “I hadn’t exactly thought about that.” Then he gazed at Jake with hope. “Can’t you help us, Reverend?”

  Jake swallowed a sigh. “You’ve got a couple of hours until the play starts. Why don’t you go and think on it. Your father’s bound to ask the same questions I did.”

  “My father?” Fear loomed again in David’s eyes. He was so young, Jake thought. So incredibly young.

  “After the play’s over, you need to tell him. And, of course, you’ll want to speak to Rebecca’s father as well.”

  Looking as though Jake had condemned him to the garrote, David dragged himself away from the parsonage. His thin silhouette was a sorrowful picture, and Jake felt his conscience prick him mercilessly. Perhaps if he’d set a different example, provided better counsel, this wouldn’t have happened. Staring across the yard at the saloon, he wondered how much his relationship with Katherine had influenced the boy.

  This was something he’d wondered about vaguely before, but now the evidence was being thrust in his face. Had young David decided to carry his relationship with Rebecca a step further when he saw his minister courting a saloon singer? Jake wanted to think not, tried to remember that he and Katherine had been cautious in public, but the thought lurked. No
w he needed to find a place to offer sanctuary to David and his young bride. With a sinking feeling, he knew that would be no easy task.

  The back door of the saloon opened, and Jake stared as a young girl of perhaps eighteen or nineteen stepped out. His gaze sharpened. She looked like a younger version of Katherine. He cleared his mind of the possibility. It was the one thing Katherine had been adamant about. Her sister was to stay safely closeted away in Boston. When Morgan also emerged, Jake watched them both intently. Morgan was treating the girl in a brotherly fashion, and Jake sensed she wasn’t a new girl at the saloon.

  Weeks had passed since Jake had been able to talk to Katherine after she refused to see him. But it seemed she would have broken her silence to tell him if her sister was coming to town.

  Despite his concern for David and the pressing need to help him, Jake walked within earshot, waiting for an introduction. Morgan obliged, and Jake took Beth’s proffered hand, swallowing his shock when he heard that her name was indeed O’Shea.

  “I’m so pleased to meet you, Reverend Payne. Morgan’s told me all about you.” She tapped Morgan’s arm playfully. “He’s the best brother-in-law a girl could ask for.”

  Jake’s jaw fell open, and he watched Morgan’s eye drop in a deliberate wink as he escorted Beth toward the smithy. Knowing that Katherine was there, already surrounded by most of the townspeople, Jake knew he’d have to wait to confront her about Beth’s appearance. He walked a few steps back toward the parsonage, then stopped and whirled around. Brother-in-law?

  The women playing Titania, Puck, and the other fairies frolicked about the stage, effectively conveying the lilt and spirit of youth despite their years. As the actors earnestly milked the romantic poetry of the bard’s words, the play still shone with the freshness of spring.

  Much like a masque, the lighthearted play combined song, dance, and poetry, pleasing the culture-starved folk on the lone Kansas prairie, despite the crude props and amateurish acting.

 

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