by D. Brumbley
“I can definitely do that. In fact, it would make me happy to do that.” Anna said as she reached out to loop her arm through her brother’s. “I’m sorry I won’t be here to see you and Larissa make it official. But I’m sure you can send video to me. I’d love to see it any way I can.”
Cory was quiet for a while after that as they walked, and she knew him well enough to tell just from the way he shoved his hands in his pockets that he was going to say something he wasn’t completely comfortable saying. “Or you could just, you know, not…go.” He wouldn’t or couldn’t look at her as he said so, but he eventually tore his eyes off the ground to look up at her. “You know. To Jannah. Or up to the Initiative. You can still say no.”
“Cor…” Anna said with a tone that was both sympathetic and stubborn at the same time. “I can’t pass this up. This isn’t only about me and Logan, but you too. Do you only want twenty more years with Larissa or fifty?”
“I want all the years I can get with Larissa. But I want all the years I can get with you too.” He gave her a look that was just as stubborn. “I spent a lot of time talking Jannah through with Holly. Mostly pretending to be excited to go if I ended up getting accepted, which I didn’t. But if this first mission goes, with everybody who just got accepted, and it only takes them a year to get there? Then we’re gonna find out that whatever crazy transportation system they’ve worked out actually does work, and then the whole planet is gonna lose its mind. Within a generation, this whole planet is going to be empty. People are gonna pour money and resources into getting to Jannah like they’re giving away free beer. The whole world. And we can all still be a part of that. Hell, knowing the Bickfords, they could probably buy their own ship to make the trip. My point is, I want Jannah too. I want that kind of life, not to die when I’m only halfway to where we should be. But you don’t have to risk your life for us all to get there someday.”
“I think that I do, and it’s worth the risk. They told us our families get priority after we get to Jannah. That’s enough to convince me to go. Watching Mom die and now Dad…I don’t want to watch anyone else die like that. I refuse. Logan and I are going to go, and we’re going for ourselves as much as for anyone else. We want a long future together, and we want a future for our families too.”
Cory didn’t want to ask the question he was about to ask, and he kept his mouth shut for nearly another twenty paces. Eventually, he decided that asking the question was less terrible than not asking it. “So what if it’s not true? What happens if you get up there and you find out that the whole thing is some hoax the Consortium’s been pulling on the entire world for years? You’d be going up there for nothing. Both of you.”
“So the risk of it not being true outweighs the reward if it is?” She clearly didn’t agree with that sentiment and she shook her head. “It’s real, Cory.”
“You’re betting your life on that.” He could hear the condescension in his sister’s tone, and he was used to it, since he was almost two years younger than she was, after all, but that didn’t mean he tolerated it well. “You’re betting Logan’s life on that. Your life together. Your children’s lives, if it turns out you are pregnant.”
“And I’m condemning them if I stay. Condemning them to a short life and a long, painful death. A life where they don’t have time to accomplish much, a life where the whole thing is a race to make babies as soon as you can. I’m sorry if you disagree with my methods to facilitate change, but this kind of life isn’t okay, Cor.” Anna stopped and then she grabbed her brother’s hand and turned him toward her. “You’ve trusted me until now, right? Why can’t you give me the benefit of the doubt?”
“There’s a difference between giving you the benefit of the doubt and just watching you run off the planet without telling you what I honestly think about it.” Cory was getting mad as she got more confrontational, but he didn’t back away. He was enough like Ben not to stand down once he was standing his ground on a subject. “We love you, Anna. All of us. And you’re asking us to watch you walk away with no guarantee that we’re ever going to see you again. With no guarantees of anything. Just like that. You’re stoned if you think we all believe in Jannah as strongly as you do. For all we know, you’re walking into a firing squad, and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“I have to believe that there is a better future out there for all of us, and I’m not going to run away from the risk that might be involved to get it, Cory.” She said calmly, her tone softening, but she was still as determined as ever. “I love you. I love you all. I’m grateful you’re concerned, and I’d be stupid to think there’s no possibility you’re right. You could be. That’s possible. But I have to try.”
“You keep saying that. But you don’t.” Cory said quietly, obviously defeated, but still not convinced away from his standpoint. “You don’t have to try. You’re choosing to.” He sighed, and was quiet long enough afterward to try and pull himself together to keep from crying. “I don’t want to see another fireball coming down from orbit and have to know that you’re inside it. That’s what you’re risking.” He shook his head and turned to look along the path they’d walked down, unable to look straight at her. “I hope you’re right about all of it. It’s just hard to hope for that when there’s more we don’t know than we do.”
“I know.” She pulled him into a hug just so that she could hold onto her brother tightly and try to convince him that everything would be alright even if she had no idea if it would be. “Someone had this same conversation with their sister back when the first space station went up into the sky. And now they are everywhere up there. Even if some other piece of a station comes crashing down into Earth, don’t assume I’m on it. Because I can promise you, I find trouble before it finds me. I’ll be back, Cory. I will be.”
He just looked up at her and nodded, unable to actually say that he believed her, since he didn’t. But she was his older sister. What she said was gospel, as far as he was concerned. “Dad got the numbers back from the marketplace earlier this morning. Our crop ended up higher than it’s ever been, plus we didn’t have to pay out any extra labor, so profit margin was off the charts. Dad and Ben were still gawking at it when I left.”
“That’s awesome. You’re gonna need that for Dad. And Ben’s new baby. Even your babies, when they come.” Anna hugged him once more and then urged him toward the house. “If Larissa is cooking, we sure don’t want to miss it. Come on.”
Cory followed looking more than a little dejected, but he attempted to pull himself out of it and looked over at his sister with a hopeful expression. “You also realize you’re gonna be eating, like, pre-packaged, flash-frozen, super-enriched, stupidly-processed space food for the next, like, at least five years, right? Maybe that could convince you to stay? No?”
“It’s not all that way, but yes, I’m aware.” Anna just sighed loudly after that. “You’re really not going to give up, are you? We made our decision, Cor. Please.”
“Well, if you’re not gonna stay for the food, then you must really mean it.” He made another attempt at a smile as he walked beside her, but mostly he left his hands in his pockets, since he didn’t really feel much of an appetite himself, even for Larissa’s cooking.
“Don’t be sad for me. Be happy. It’s a big deal.” She kissed his cheek and then jabbed at his side playfully. “Or we can talk more about what I just saw in the barn if that would make you even more uncomfortable.”
Cory rolled his eyes, but that mention did bring a smile back to his face. “Please. I walked in on you giving Jamie Martin head when I was like, ten. You really wanna play the who-can-embarrass-who-more game with me? I see all.”
“You see all?” Anna fought the heat creeping into her cheeks but she could only imagine what else he might have seen. Or heard about. Anyone else talking about her sexual exploits didn’t matter, but her family…that was different. They undoubtedly knew her reputation as well.
“I’ve seen a lot.” He looked over at her
sheepishly, and a little apologetically. “You probably don’t want the full list. But if it’s any consolation, most of the times I saw something, it wasn’t you, it was Ben and Susan. They’ve always been around the house a lot more than you, and it’s really not that big a house. You know how loud Susan gets sometimes.”
“I’ve told Ben that like fifty times. He always tells me it’s against the law to attempt to silence a satisfied woman.” She just shook her head, but she had to laugh a little. “Good luck with that.”
“Anyway, my point is, you can hardly make me feel guilty for you walking in on second base when I’ve walked in on you blowing the outfielder.” He grinned at her and opened the door to the house for her, which was not just a gentlemanly gesture, since it was a massive and heavy door and he had to struggle to get it open himself. “That, at least, shouldn’t be a problem up in orbit, I’m guessing. You all are probably bolted down and soundproofed and all kinds of secured up there. Won’t have to worry about anybody laughing at you from half a house away or waking up the neighbors across an open field.”
“True. You’re right, it will probably be a lot different. And at least you won’t have to worry about defending my honor anymore, right? Not that I had much to begin with.” She laughed as she they headed toward the kitchen where they could hear Larissa laughing. “I went a little crazy after Logan and Mel got serious.”
“A little?” Cory said immediately, then shook his head and put his hands up. “Not judging. No right to judge. I just hope I never go your kind of crazy. It was hard to watch there for a while.”
“Okay, it wasn’t that bad.” She only got blackout drunk a couple of times and tried a couple of drugs, but mostly it was a ton of sex. Lots and lots of sex. “I don’t think you would experiment with your own sex just because you were so angry with the opposite sex that you felt it was worth a try. You seem pretty straight to me.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, that’s not likely. I had a couple guys from farther up north come onto me at our last school gathering. I kissed one of them, found out very quickly that it’s just not my thing.”
“You did not!!” She laughed and stared at him incredulously. “You still haven’t hooked up with Larissa but you kissed another guy? You are full of surprises.”
Cory just shrugged. “Wasn’t like I was gonna get a whole lot of other opportunities to experiment with things. Figured I might as well see if I was into it while I had the opportunity. Definitely not into it.” They could see the kitchen at the other end of a long hall they were coming down, massive and well-stocked, since it was the main one in use for the house at the moment. He smiled as soon as he saw Larissa in the distance, and nodded toward her. “That, I’m very into.”
“The Bickfords are some very beautiful people, aren’t they?” Anna smiled and then pushed her brother ahead of her. “Go on, I’m right behind you.”
Logan was sitting at the table as they came in, leaning back and watching his sister work while throwing barbs at her from time to time about her methods, but when Cory came in, the joking stopped. Logan watched for a moment as Cory fell in with Larissa easily, not asking if he could help or even where anything was. He just got to work, and handed off a packet of cheese to her when she got to the right point in making omelettes. The smile that passed between them at the small moment made Logan smile in turn, and he felt his heart twist at the fact that he wasn’t going to be around to see such moments continue to evolve into something even more.
He looked up at Anna afterward with the same conflicted look on his face, and sighed as he scooted over to make some room for her beside him. They were making the right choice. He knew that. They made the choice together, so it couldn’t be wrong. He had to trust that. He had to trust everyone he was leaving behind to make the best of their lives, and he had to trust himself to do the same with his own. It was just harder than he thought it would be to do that.
19
Mercury still wasn’t completely accustomed to flying and going down to Earth was completely different than flying around from station to station as she had started to get used to. Orion wasn’t the pilot who had flown them down to Earth, but he would be the one flying them back up to space, so she was enjoying her time with him while she had it before they would have to go about their own duties. He helped her get out of her seat and the entry webbing when they finally reached the ground and got the all clear to get up and moving, but it was all incredibly strange. Earth gravity, as much as they tried to simulate it in space, still felt different. “My whole body feels heavy. This is unsettling.”
“No kidding.” He and several of the other passengers, along with Mercury, had never been inside the atmosphere before, and Orion actually found that walking required some conscious effort. “I lived in an apartment on the very outer rim of Three for about six months in flight school, was supposed to be twenty percent above Earth norm. I don’t remember it feeling like this. It’s just…it doesn’t move right.”
“It doesn’t move at all, you moron.” Carl brushed past Orion and slapped him on the back of the head with a teasing grin, clearly having no difficulties himself with the change in gravity. “Once you’re done getting your land-legs under you, get out there and breathe deep. Might be the only chance any of us get.” The big man headed out to what would normally have been the airlock, opening out onto a tarmac instead of connecting to a decent dock as it would have in space.
Everything about the place so far made Orion stop and stare. Pictures could never have done justice to the kinds of blues and soaring views they had seen out the windows on the way down over the past hour. It was all so rich it almost hurt his eyes just to remember. “Are you okay to walk?” He asked Mercury once Carl was out of sight. He was Orion’s best friend, but he could be a bit much sometimes.
Mercury slipped her hand into his and held tightly as she stared out at her first view of earth from the ground. “Yes, I’m fine. It’s easier with you here, even though I’m a little doubtful that you would catch me if I fell at the moment.”
“Hey, hey. I resent that. I’ve carried twice you, and for much worse reasons.” He squeezed her hand as they headed out of the airlock, but he pulled to a dead stop as soon as they were clear of the doors and standing out on the small platform at the top of the steps for disembarking.
The airport where they had landed was far from a busy place. They had landed, because of ideal takeoff and arrival windows the site offered, in a place he had recently learned was called The Waste. From the air, he had certainly understood why it had gotten the name. There were pockets just like it all over the world, places where civilization curiously seemed to come to an abrupt halt and nature took over. Of course, nature had only taken over because such places had once been large, metropolitan cities, before they had been wiped off the face of the Earth during the wars that had followed the Crisis centuries earlier. The Waste where they were standing had been known, before the Crisis, as Kansas City, USA. Orion could only assume that was a former name of the midwest district in the Americas, but he hadn’t looked deeply enough into the historical record to find out.
As far as the eye could see, the Waste was covered in wild vegetation, unfit for farming due to the risk of exposure to whatever might be left over in the soil from the wars of the Crisis, and left almost completely uninhabited for the same reason. The airport was on just enough of a rise to make the rest of the landscape visible for several kilometers in every direction, and it was enough to make Orion feel a little lightheaded after just a glance. He realized suddenly that he had never looked at anything so vast and empty before in his life, with nothing standing between his eyes and the empty world. Wind whistled over the broken plains, ignorant of and apathetic to the events that were unfolding with their shuttle and their reasons for visiting that particular scrap of nowhere. The air was a mix of a thousand different scents that he couldn’t even begin to identify, even though each of them hinted that they had a name, a story, a source, a destin
ation, even if he would never know them.
Mercury’s voice was hushed, as if she had to be quiet in the face of the wind. “It’s so strange to be here.” Strange was the only word that kept coming to mind as all of her senses seemed to be on fire with every new sensation. “Humanity was born here, our ancestors walked on land like this, and yet you and I have lived our whole lives without even once feeling the wind on our faces.” Mercury looked around and then let go of his hand to wander away slightly. There was a patch of autumn flowers blooming nearby, though some of them looked worse for the wear since they had been in such close proximity to their shuttle when it landed. Mercury plucked a couple of them and walked back over to Orion. “Real flowers. Just out here for anyone to see, for anyone to pluck. It’s never so simple up there for something like this. A couple of flowers.”
Orion shook his head, and took a few of the small flowers from her, twisting some of the stems together as they walked. Even the crunch of the tarmac under his boots was jarring. He’d walked over some floors on Three that had been less than meticulously cleaned, but this was stone. Grass. Dirt. Pebbles. Nothing about the world was smooth, and yet everything was, somehow, at the same time. “Do you think they ever consider it in those terms? How free everything is? How open it is? I mean, seriously. Someone could just come along and build a house a hundred meters from here, and decide they’re going to live there. Who’s going to say no? There’s no one here.” When he was finished weaving the spray of tiny flowers together, he turned Mercury toward him and tucked them behind her ear, winding the stalks with her hair to hold them in place, since her hair was tied back tightly in a braid for traveling.