by James, Gemma
“I know,” I whispered.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white ring box, and I failed to breathe.
“I want you to think long and hard about your answer.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he lifted the lid to reveal a gorgeous jade stone ring. “Though I already know what it is, and fuck, Alex, I’m dying to hear you say it. But be sure. Once we do this, there’s no going back.”
I sank my fingers into his thick hair, a smile of irony forming on my lips. “We passed the roundabout a long time ago, Rafe.”
“That’s true, but you know I’d move Heaven and Earth to pave a new one…if it’s what you really wanted.”
“It’s not. You’re what I want. What I’ve always wanted.” I glanced at the ring he held between two fingers. “I want to marry you.”
He rose and backed me into the tree, issuing a gruff order to raise my hands above my head.
I did as told, and his mouth collided with mine, annihilating me with the insistent darts of his tongue. As he gripped me by the nape, he trailed his fingers up my left arm, never breaking our kiss, and slid his token of forever on my ring finger.
Oh my God.
I was delirious, my mind floating on a plane of existence I hadn’t thought possible to reach. But Rafe sent me there with his unspoken promise of unconditional love, with the reality of his commitment circling my finger.
“I love you,” I said, inching my head back and gripping his hard biceps.
He engulfed me in his arms and buried his head in the crook of my shoulder, breaths shuddering against my skin. “You make me believe in miracles.”
Loving him wasn’t a miracle. It was as certain as death, as darkly beautiful as life. It was a predestined absolution.
I gripped him by the hair, and we stood like that as if time didn’t exist. Clutched each other as if our lives depended on it. In the middle of the woods, naked and vulnerable, the babbling sound of my biggest phobia just yards away, I found peace.
Discovered a rarity.
Sometimes love was enough.
He picked me up, fingers digging into my ass, and strode toward the shallow, calm part of the creek.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you home to get married, but first, I want to get you wet.” With a wicked grin, he carried me into the water, feet splashing.
24. CONFIRMATION
Alex
For the first time in what seemed like forever, it poured. This wasn’t a mere shower of warm, summer rain. This was the kind of torrential downpour that kept people inside, even in August. The weather didn’t stop us though. Rafe led me through the parking lot of a strip mall, my hand clasped in his, and we ducked under the awning of the bridal boutique where Angel and I were scheduled to get fitted for our dresses.
She and Jax joined us seconds later.
“Stay inside the store, okay?” Rafe said.
I nodded.
“Call me if you feel something is off, no matter how small. I’ll be right across the street.”
We’d spent so much time together, just the two of us in the safe solitude of our own making, that neither of us knew how to let go, especially Rafe.
Because my dad and Zach were still threats, and the worst kind—soundless and invisible—possibly preparing for a strike we wouldn’t see coming. As a result, Rafe didn’t want to let me out of his sight.
“I’ll be fine, I promise.”
He frowned, and I sensed an admonishment on the rise about how I shouldn’t promise things I couldn’t guarantee. Before he got the chance, I stood on tiptoe and covered his mouth with mine. He responded, his lips parting to accept my insistent tongue.
“Jesus, babe,” he said, reluctantly breaking away. “I’ve got supplies to get. If you keep kissing me like that, we’re going straight home instead.”
“Go,” I said, pushing against his broad chest. God, I loved summer, despite the rain. The black sleeveless tee he wore showed off his ink, not to mention his toned biceps. Rafe pulled me against him for another taste.
“Save it for the bedroom, guys. We got shit to do.” Jax snickered, and I shot him a glare, almost giving in to the urge to sock him. He held up his hands though the grin didn’t melt from his face.
“You ladies have fun in there.”
“We plan to,” I said, enough sass in my tone that Rafe gave me a warning look. I stole another kiss before entering the boutique, Angel on my heels, silent as usual, and the first sign of a panic attack hit.
My pulse accelerated. Doubt consumed me.
I looked over my shoulder at Rafe’s retreating back through the glass, and I wanted to call after him. Beg him not to leave me.
What if I wasn’t ready for this after all? Without him by my side, I felt exposed and vulnerable.
Angel grabbed my hand and squeezed. “It’s okay.”
Those whispered words, spoken from a girl who had seen more horror than I had, snapped me out of the surge of oncoming hysteria.
Truth be told, I was nervous for a couple of reasons, the biggest having to do with the drugstore next door, and the thought of getting in and out of there without the guys spotting us.
I watched Rafe and Jax cross the road and disappear inside a grocery store, and before I lost my nerve, I grabbed Angel’s hand and pulled her out of the bridal boutique.
“Where are we going?”
“I have to buy something next door.” I studied her expression, my nerves winding around my throat. “Can I trust you to keep a secret?”
She nodded.
I’d take it. I didn’t have much choice. Considering she didn’t talk much, maybe I could trust her to keep this small secret.
Except it might not be so small after all.
As we headed down the sidewalk, careful to stay under the awning and out of the rain, I glanced across the street to where the guys had gone.
Please don’t let them see us.
Just in case, I had a backup plan. I was going to buy two things; a pregnancy test, and some pearly nail polish for the wedding.
The doors slid open, and Angel and I strolled inside. In my peripheral, I noted how she scanned every corner of the store, her eyes lingering extra long on the few men shopping. Her natural instinct was to distrust the opposite sex. Hell, she probably distrusted the human race, period. And who could blame her?
Angel was an enigma to me. I empathized with her on a more personal level because she and I understood the type of horror few people would ever endure. But I couldn’t help the curiosity growing inside me, either.
Had she left behind any friends in the compound where Jax found her? Did she know what joy felt like? Had she ever experienced the passionate side of sex—the all-consuming, soul-to-soul connection that had the power to send you to another realm?
I doubt she knew what any of those things were. I figured we could start with friendship, and slowly, joy would follow. The sex and relationship part…that would be a huge hurdle for her.
“What are you buying?” she asked as she followed me down the feminine hygiene aisle.
I stalled in front of what I needed, a plethora of options all touting the best, most accurate results on the market. Even knowing that I could more than likely trust her, I still had trouble getting the words out. “I need a pregnancy test.”
She took a step back, her blue eyes wide and fearful, as if she could catch the condition of pregnancy by proximity.
“Don’t tell anyone,” I pleaded. “I don’t know for sure, but if I am…”
I couldn’t even go there. My brain was incapable of handling the what-ifs right now. I’d take the test, then I’d know.
And if I had Rafe’s child growing inside me, I’d bury the knowledge until after the wedding. For the sake of my sanity, I needed to.
Picking out a rectangle box with a plus symbol on the front, I was torn on whether I wanted to see that little pink sign show up on the piss stick.
“I won’t say anythi
ng,” she said, a genuine note in her soft voice.
“Thank you.” We headed toward the cosmetic section where I grabbed a shimmering bottle of pearly nail polish before going through the checkout stand. With the small brown bag clutched in my hands, purchases hidden inside, I hesitated outside the restrooms. Thankfully, they were single use, so I wouldn’t have to worry about others coming and going while I waited for the type of news that would irrevocably change my life.
And Rafe’s.
But getting my feet to move was the hard part.
“You’ll feel better once you know,” Angel coaxed. “I won’t go anywhere, promise.” She twirled a lock of blond hair around her finger, blue eyes continually on the lookout, though I wasn’t sure what she was searching for. She had a habit of playing with her hair when uncomfortable or nervous.
She didn’t handle being in public well.
“I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” As I enclosed myself inside the restroom, I let out a breath. The light over the sink flickered every couple of seconds. Grime lined the tiles, and the space had that dirty-restroom-smell that older buildings tended to have, especially when they weren’t properly cared for.
Great. I was about to get life-changing news in a filthy public restroom. I would have laughed if my heart wasn’t thrashing against my ribcage. I tore into the thin box and pulled the instructions out, followed by the foil pouch containing the test. The directions were simple enough. I settled in to do my business, then I waited. Three minutes later, I had my answer.
One missed pill, and one little stick to confirm my fuck-up.
Shit.
Rafe was going to kill me.
25. HOMEBOUND
Rafe
“He’s going to hate me.”
Alex sat in the passenger seat of the Jeep, her expression sullen. Maybe it was wedding jitters, or anxiety about returning home, but she’d been fucking moody as hell lately, ever since we’d gone into town for the gown fitting two weeks ago.
“He won’t hate you.” I darted a glance into the rearview and spotted Jax’s black pickup keeping pace behind us.
“I sent you to prison. Why wouldn’t he hate me?”
“That’s history, babe.”
She leaned her head against the window and watched a train chug along the Washington side of the Gorge, its colorful boxcars lined up like blocks on the hillside.
The truth was, I didn’t know how my brother was going to react to meeting Alex. Adam and I weren’t that close, and other than the few phone calls to check in and let him know I was still alive, we’d had little communication.
But he’d had a hand in restoring the island, and he’d welcomed the idea of using the vineyard as a venue for the wedding. I hadn’t detected any harsh feelings from him toward the woman who would become my wife. If anything, his tone had been neutral.
He knew the history.
The fact that she’d thrown me under the bus for something I hadn’t done. He might even suspect that she’d had something to do with the fires on the island and at the vineyard, since the arson committed against our family’s legacy had never been solved, and she’d re-entered my life about the same time.
But he hadn’t asked about it.
Fuck, for all I knew, Alex’s worry was justified, because there was a lot my brother didn’t know. A lot I could never tell him as he had no idea how sick and twisted I was down to my soul.
Alex had been wrong to lie all those years ago, but Adam had no fucking clue about my destructive, downward spiral after I got out. He didn’t know his own flesh and blood was a kidnapper, a step below a rapist. I might not have fucked her by force, but the threat had been there. It was a reality I often ignored, pushing it into the darkest corners of my mind to never resurface.
But the question emerged now.
What if she had fought me? What if she’d said no? Would I have fucked her anyway?
Probably.
Trampling over her protests was what I did best, and shameful or not, that wasn’t changing.
The landscape of high desert gave way to forest, and soon the island appeared on the river, a shadow against a deep blue in the wake of the setting sun. I pulled onto the shoulder and motioned for Alex to get out of the car. The driver’s side door dinged as I stepped out, and I left it open as I rounded the hood and met her at the railing, arms winding around her waist from behind as we both stared at the island.
“Just a few more days,” I whispered into her ear.
Jax came to a stop behind the Jeep, but neither he nor Angel got out of the truck. Maybe they recognized a private moment when they saw one.
“It doesn’t look as bad as I remember,” Alex said.
“Some of the trees on the north side got lucky.” But others hadn’t escaped the lick of flames. The newly built cabin was in full view of the highway now, unobscured by the trees that used to offer privacy. We’d replant. The island would heal, same as us.
At least we had a home to return to in the meantime.
“I can’t wait to see it.”
“You will, on our wedding night.”
“That’s still three days away.”
Laughing at her whining tone, I ushered her back to the idling Jeep. She wasn’t the best when it came to patience.
We arrived at Mason Vineyards a few minutes later, and my brother came out of the main house on the grounds before I had a chance to open the driver’s side door.
“I don’t know whether to beat the shit out of you, or hug you.”
I pulled Adam into a bear hug, making the decision for him. “I know. It’s been too fucking long.”
“That’s your fault.” He slapped me on the back. “Where the hell have you been?”
“We went on an extended road trip. Picked up some fights in California and Nevada.” That was the short version. The longer version included how we’d been on the run for weeks, never certain that Shelton wasn’t on our heels seeking retribution for his burned down barn, among other things.
A few months into our vagrant lifestyle, it became clear he’d moved on, and after traveling through a string of towns and cities, I’d taken Alex to the woods to just fucking be for a while.
“It’s good to finally have you home.” Adam’s attention veered to where Alex stood on the other side of the Jeep, one hand clutching the door as if she might need to dart back into the safety of the rig. “So you must be the bride,” he said, nodding to Alex.
“It’s nice to meet you.” To someone who didn’t know her the way I did, her voice came out strong and steady, but I heard the underlying quiver in her greeting. “I’m Alex.”
“I know who you are.”
“Adam,” I said with a warning.
“Can you blame me for wondering how all of this happened?” He gestured between Alex and me. “Considering the circumstances?”
Jax had impeccable timing. He pulled into the driveway and killed the engine, also killing the tension in the air.
“There’s a time and place for explanations, but now’s not it.” I reached Alex’s side and slid an arm around her waist. “We came here to get married, not deal with an inquisition.”
“Fair enough.” Adam attempted a welcoming smile and directed his next words at Alex. “It really is good to meet you finally.”
“You too.”
Jax and Angel got out, doors slamming, and after another round of hugs and introductions, the five of us headed toward the wraparound porch of the Victorian style house.
Adam and I had grown up in this place, but a lot had changed since I was a kid. The house had gone through a remodel since the fire, despite escaping serious damage. The ugly tan siding and blue shutters were gone, traded for a tasteful white and dark grey. Adam had also refinished and extended the porch.
Off to the right, the tasting room had been painted to match, and to the left an expanse of well-maintained lawn drew the eye to the view of the Gorge beyond.
Adam had been busy.
&nb
sp; “By the way,” he said as he swung the front door open. “A package came here yesterday for your fiancé.”
Alex’s face paled, and I grabbed her hand, lacing our fingers. “A package from who?”
“Her father.”
26. AT LAST
Alex
I sat alone in the guest room where Rafe and I would stay until our wedding. There would be no bachelor or bachelorette parties. No separate sleeping arrangements the night before we exchanged vows.
We were breaking tradition for the sake of safety.
I fingered the letter from my dad, still hesitant to read it. Rafe had already gone through the letter and package, and since he’d given them to me and told me to take some time alone in our room, I knew the contents couldn’t be too bad.
Or maybe it was bad, but not in a dangerous-way kind of bad.
With a deep breath, I set the letter aside and clutched the red velvet jewelry box my dad sent to the vineyard. The fact that he’d known we would be here told me a lot. Filing for a marriage license probably tipped him off, but he’d have to have someone watching in the first place to catch it.
The wedding was not a big event by any means. No newspaper announcements, no elaborate catering services or wedding planners involved.
Just Rafe and me, a few witnesses, and the ceremony officiant. If my dad knew about our plans, it was because he’d been on the lookout for information.
I turned the jewelry box in my hand for several seconds, equal parts curious and scared to find out what was inside. Something about the box was familiar. Maybe the color, or the soft texture against my palm. As I flipped open the lid, a memory flashed in my mind. My breath hitched, and I closed my eyes, begging my subconscious to hold on to the memory.
I must have been no older than five, a year or so before the De Lucas came into our lives. Mom grinned down at me, fingers playing with a jade stone pendant circling her neck. I remembered it because it had matched the color of her eyes, and people always said I had my mom’s eyes. In this memory, the weight of the red velvet box was heavy in my small hand.